


Three Moons Ranch

by SlothSpaghetti



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU - Biker Gang, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Angst, Biker!Avengers, Blood and Violence, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bucky is a good dom, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Alive, Everyones Legal, F/M, Family Loss, FanFic Inspired, Fluff and Angst, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, I killed a horse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Kink Exploration, Knives, Light Dom/sub, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possesive!Bucky, Praise Kink, Protective!Bucky, Rancher!Reader, Reward and Punishment, Sexual Harassment, Slow Burn, Soft!Bucky, Spanking, Superfamily (Marvel), Superhusbands (Marvel), Teacher!Reader, Texas Location, crossbows, long read, sex outside, violence against animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:33:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 93,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24980878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlothSpaghetti/pseuds/SlothSpaghetti
Summary: Teacher/Rancher!Reader gets wrapped up in the troubled world of the Avengers Motorcycle Club. Can they be the family you didn't know you needed? Will your relationship with Bucky bloom like a wildflower or will it be trampled by stubborn pride, insecurities, and a rival gang.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 168
Kudos: 317





	1. Stupid Southern Hospitality

**Author's Note:**

> Biker Gang AU Inspired by https://archiveofourown.org/works/24413740

The roaring sound of engines could be heard for miles. All the kids in my classroom turned to look out the window as the gang rolled down the street down headed towards the only bar in town, just off the main drag. The breath caught in my throat when I saw the giant ‘A’ insignia on the back of their leathers. The Avengers.

“Come on y’all, we only have an hour left in the school day.” I sighed and tried to get their attention back. 

===============================

_I got better things to do_ , I thought, gazing at the line of bikes out front of the bar, crumpled envelope in hand.

I walked up the man at the door. He gives me a once over, staring at my boots and school appropriate sundress. I hear him laugh, probably at my backpack, when I move past him and into the greasy bar. From how dark it was in the bar, you wouldn’t be able to tell it was four in the afternoon. I pulled my sunglasses up to rest on the top of my head. There were a few local drunks at the bar, but the only patrons were the Avengers. 

They weren’t acting rowdy but based on the number of bottles at the table they were a few rounds deep. I took a few more steps into the bar but stayed a good distance away.

“Dallas,” I used my teacher's voice. It was the only thing keeping me steady. 

They didn’t seem to hear me. 

“DALLAS,” I said louder, firmer, striding deeper into the snake's den. 

“Dallas, you got a pretty little lady over there calling your name,” a man with a dark goatee smirked at me. 

Dallas finally turns around in his seat to look at me. 

“Well haven’t you grown up, Sis.” He slurred his words a bit. 

I wanted to throttle him. That was all he had to say to me. 

“You shut your pie hole. I’m only here cause I know Papaw would roll over in his grave I didn’t give you this.” I started, “Memaw left this for you, you ungratefully redneck.”

I slap the letter down on the table and turn to leave. I don’t need to be here anymore. _I hope you can rest easy now Memaw. That useless grandson of yours got your goodbye letter._

A firm hand grabbed my wrist to stop me. I turned and slowly followed the hand up the owner's arm until I was staring into a pair of stormy blue eyes. 

“Let go of me.”

“Or what doll, you got something in that cute little bag of your to scare me off?” He’s got a northern accent, _city slicker_ . Under different, _better_ , circumstances I might have found it appealing, but now I’m just annoyed. 

“No,” I stared straight at him, unflinching, “But I got chores to do and papers to grade. I don’t have time for y’all.”

“But you had time to come give baby Dallas here a letter.” Another of the bikers speaks to me. 

I didn’t look up from the man holding my wrist. He started rubbing his thumb over my pulse point. Goosebumps rose on my arm, but I tried to ignore them. 

“Just fulfillin’ a deathbed wish.” I felt the all too familiar tightness settle in my chest. 

I pulled my arm back when I felt the man’s grip loosen. I pulled my sunglasses back down and raised my hand in goodbye as I walked out of the bar. Dramatics weren’t normally my thing, but it felt like the right thing at the time.

I somehow made it all the way to the ranch gates before the loneliness dragged completely under. The arched metal sign proclaiming ‘Three Moons Ranch’ glinted in the setting sun. It was well past the normal time I got home. I could hear the horses in the distance whining. 

I rested my forehead on the rusted red gate and sobbed. _I can’t keep doing this Memaw. I know you wanted me to keep up the ranch, but I’m just one person._

Barking dogs pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Tequila, Whiskey, silencioso. I’m comin’,” I wiped the tears from my cheeks and climbed the fence. I hadn’t undone the lock since the funeral. 

I quickly changed into my work clothes- dirty jeans and a stained, holey shirt. Chores were just a part of ranch life, day in and day out. The routine kept me grounded when I thought I was going to wash away. I stared out over the recently tilled field, sighed, and went about putting the horse in their stables, feeding the barn cats, chasing the chickens back into their coop for the night. Normally this time of year, we’d have hired hands around the place, planting season in full swing. But this year was different. I had to rent out the land to another farmer in the area, and use that money to pay for the funeral and other expenses that apparently came with dying. I was still barely scraping by.

Propping my aching feet up on the porch rail, I placed my beer down and started grading. The porch lights glowed yellow and the bugs bounced off the exposed bulbs. Every so often I’d stop and stare up into the clear night sky. Out here the stars twinkled and shone bright like they were only for you. When I’ve nearly finished with my last stack of quizzes, I see the dogs’ ears perk up. Soon they ran off down the dirt drive. I rushed into the house and pulled the antique shotgun off the wall. It wasn’t loaded, but anything to scare off what was coming. Recently, I’d heard talk about a big group of outsiders skulking around town, causing problems with locals. 

I hear the sound of the motorcycles again. “For christ sake,” I muttered, shoving my feet into my work boots and walking down to meet the dogs.

I watched the Avengers blaze down the red dirt road, scattering dust behind them until they stopped outside the gate. I squinted at the headlights and raised my free hand to get a better look at them.

“Sis, unlock the fucking gate,” Dallas shouted.

“And call off the hellhounds while you are at!” Another voice, someone with an English accent of all things, shouted.

“Tequila, Whiskey, ven aquí,” I commanded them. “I’m not opening the gate Dallas.”

I moved the shotgun to rest on my shoulder. I’m not gonna shoot them, but why not keep up the show. 

“You ain’t got the guts to shoot, doll.” I recognized the voice of the wrist grabber from the bar.

“Please, ma’am, we aren’t here to cause trouble. A few of our members are injured and Dallas said this would be a safe place to get them fixed up.” Another man voiced out.

I walked up the gate with caution. Tequila and Whiskey flank me, heads low and teeth bared. They are good boys. 

I took stock of them in the poor lighting. Two men seemed to be holding each other up, while another was holding up a woman. 

“Y’all can park your bikes in the grain barn north of the house.” I sighed and pulled the keys from my work belt. “When you are done, come down and I’ll tend to ya.”

_Stupid southern hospitality._

“Thank you, ma’am.” The polite one said before putting his helmet back on. 

I swung the gate wide open and watched them creep down the path. Once they were all in, I pulled the gate closed and reattached the chain and lock. 

“I need to stop being so darn stupid,” I grumbled at the dogs while I headed back to the house. 

I toed off my boots and re-racked the shotgun. Shuffling into the kitchen, I pulled the hefty first aid kit out from under the sink. 

Tequila barked at the sound of boots on the porch. 

“Take off your boots,” I demanded from the kitchen.

There is the sound of grumbling and then the heavy thunk of boots on the porch. 

“Take a seat where you can find space.” I flicked on so many lights you probably could have seen the house from space. 

I set the first aid kit on the coffee table and pull out the gloves. “I hope none of y’all are allergic to latex.”

“Can you please see to Natasha first ma’am?” The polite once seemed to be in charge. 

“What happened?” I asked, stepping in front of her where a man was holding her on the couch. 

I looked over her and realized that was a stupid question. There was a knife sticking out of the top of her thigh. “Well, at least you didn’t remove it when it happened.”

I looked at Natasha’s face, her eyes were clear, but her face pale. I reached into the kit and grabbed a wad of gauze. 

“You might need to hold her down for this,” I said to the man next to her. Once I got his nod, I looked back at Natasha. 

“Howdy Natasha,” I kept my voice level like I’m trying to calm a spooked horse. “I’m gonna take this here knife on the count of three, okay?”

I don’t wait for her to acknowledge me, “One..” YANK “two, three.” I finished by pressing the gauze into the wound. The knife is only a pocket knife, maybe an inch long. I put it on the coffee table. Swiveling back to Natasha and her companion, I grabbed his hand and firmly pressed on to the mound of gauze. 

“Keep this exact pressure on it.” I looked at his bloody knuckles and went back to the kit. I pulled out the isopropyl alcohol and cotton pads. “I’m gonna clean up your hands, then we’ll finish up with Natasha, okay?” I asked when the panic started to set in his eyes. 

“Dallas,” I used my teacher’s voice again. “Make yourself useful and get the ice tray and some towels for those who need it.”

While I commanded Dallas, I had carefully started cleaning up the man’s hand. He was going to need to ice those knuckles, but at least that was it. I pulled out a new box of SteriStrips, removed three, and placed them next to Natasha’s thigh. I cut around her thick jeans with a pair of kitchen shears and removed the gauze.

I poured a third of the alcohol into the wound and she screamed. With clean gauze I wiped away the excess blood and applied the strips, closing the wound. I carefully placed another waterproof bandage across the strips. 

“Who’s next?” I asked, looking at Mr. Polite. 

“Can you fix a broken nose?” He returned.

“I haven’t had to do that in a while, but I’m sure it’s like ridin’ a bike.” I tried to smile. The tension in the air was getting too thick for me. 

“Clint, you’re up.” He points to the man perched on the far side of the room on the armchair. He’s got blood all down his front and blackened eyes that made him look like a raccoon. 

After I reset his nose, the rest of the gang just seemed to have cuts and bruises. The wrister grabber seemed extra interested in me giving him a full body checkup. I snorted at him, applying a SteriStrip to his forehead before I shoved the makeshift ice pack back onto his face. Once they were all bandaged up and icing, I cleaned up the kit and made a note on the pad stuck to the fridge to get more gauze, bandages, and isopropyl alcohol. 

There was a very awkward tension in the room when I returned. Every biker was staring at me, seemingly waiting for me to do or say something. I clapped my hands together.

“So, have y’all had anything to eat yet?”

_Stupid southern hospitality._


	2. Jesus Take The Wheel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dangerous biker gang my butt.

It was weird listening to so many different eating sounds while sat ‘round the supper table. I’d spent the last 5 months eating (if I wasn’t too exhausted) alone in front of the TV watching reruns of the  _ Andy Griffith Show _ . 

“Sorry, all I had on short notice was a couple frozen pizzas and some pop tarts.” I apologized again, watching the men eat.

“Do not worry about it Sister of Dallas,” Thor spat Pop-Tart crumbs across the table. 

Steve, or the Captain, had forced Dallas into doing proper introductions when the pizzas were in the oven. Steve’s partner, Tony, was the man with the goatee. The wrist grabber was his second in command, called Bucky. There was also Sam, Natasha’s partner Bruce, Thor’s brother Loki, and Rhodey.

“Can’t expect 5-star service when we ain’t at the Ritz can we, doll?” Bucky smirked, before taking a swig from the bottle of beer he held. 

“Luna,” they’d decided to call me that apparently since the ranch was called Three Moons, “Would it be possible for us to stay here tonight?” Steve asked.

I rubbed my face and rested my elbows on the tabletop. Why am I even considering this?  _ Because you are sad and lonely and even though you know these guys are dangerous and you should be scared, you aren’t.  _

“Yeah, you and Tony can have the back bedroom, and Bruce, you can stay with Natasha in my old room.” I sighed for what felt like the millionth time that night.

“Dallas will take the rest a ya out to the farmhands’ house. There should be everything you need there; bedding, shower stuff, whatever.” I sighed, again, and started to stand up. “I got chores and school tomorrow so I’m heading to bed. Please turn off the lights when you are done.” It was well past midnight now, and I had to get up in a few hours.

I dragged myself up the stairs and into my new bedroom, Memaw’s room. I had started sleeping up here after the funeral to feel closer to her. Everything about the room screamed old lady, from the curtains to the vintage vanity littered with perfume bottles and porcelain jars. I’d barely touched any of the things in here, worried it would erase her very presence from the house. 

I removed my dirty work clothes and tossed them into the hamper. I dug my sleep shirt out from under the pillow and unmade the bed. Just as I laid down, I remembered the stack of graded papers I left outside. I groaned for a good 30 seconds before I got out of bed and wrapped one of Memaw’s sweaters that still smelled like her around me. The lights were still on, but I tiptoed down the stairs anyway. Natasha needed to rest. 

“Why didn’t you tell us you had a place like this Dallas?” Tony whispered.

“Because I don’t, my sister owns everything now.” 

“Also why didn’t you tell us she was a hotty?” I could hear the smirk in Sam’s voice.

“Because she was 17 when I joined you guys and that also gross you perv.”

“And the rest of ya will keep your dirty mitts off her. She’s mine,” Bucky growled. 

“Does the sarg have a crush on the southern belle?” Loki snickered.

I made a face at that comment before going out the front door. Being called someone’s ideally sounded nice, but when I considered who had said it just made my gut twist up in anxiety. Right now, I just wanted an easy life. I wasn’t looking for trouble. 

I nearly fell face first over a pile of boots when pushed open the screen door. 

“Dang it.” I brushed off the knee I fell on. 

Once the boots were paired and lined up out of the way of the door, I grabbed my abandoned quizzes and beer. Despite the chill in the air now, the beer was warm and stale. When I headed back inside, I barrelled right into Bucky’s chest. 

“Oof, whatcha doin’ doll?”

“I’d rather not have to lie to my students,” I waved the papers in his face.

“Drinking on the job are we?” He grinned and pointed at the bottle. 

“Makes me a more generous grader.” I huffed out a kind of laugh. 

He stared at me for a while, I’m not sure why, but when a gust of cold wind made me shiver, he seemed to remember he was blocking the door to my house. But still, he didn’t move, for some reason. He didn’t seem inclined to share with me. And I didn’t care. I could have stared into those soft, stormy eyes all night.

There was a crash and the sound of dogs barking inside. I’m not completely sure why Bucky felt the need to grab me and shield me from the nonexistent danger, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it. I hadn’t been held or really touched, really, since the funeral. Now I've been held twice by the same guy.  _ Don’t be stupid, _ I thought,  _ he isn’t a good guy. He’s in a biker gang for heaven's sake _ .

“I better see what that’s about,” I mumbled, but Bucky didn’t move. 

It wasn’t until I cleared my throat loudly, and gave him a bit of shove, that he moved to let me inside. Steve entered the kitchen just as I did, wearing only boxer briefs. I quickly looked away, I didn’t need to be seeing any of that. The rest of the guys were standing around a cabinet door that had fallen off the hinges.

“Guys,” he whisper yelled. 

“Don’t worry…” I yawned, “It’s been doin’ that for a while now. I just haven’t got round to fixin’ it.” 

“I thought glasses were kept there, Sis?”

“Oh, uh, not since Memaw had a fall a couple a years ago. She’d hurt her shoulder and couldn’t reach that high.” When I picked up the door, all the men crowded back away from it like it was cursed. I leaned against the oven and pulled out a specially built storage cabinet that slotted between the fridge and countertops. “Just take what you need.”

I yawned again, threw out the wasted beer, and shuffled out the kitchen. I kept a small desk tucked in the corner of the living room to store my school things. I dropped the quizzes there and went to bed. 

I heard more shuffling below me and then the sound of the front door being closed. Tequila and Whiskey nosed there was into the room and up to the bed. I gave them both scratches for a while and thought about stormy blue eyes until I drifted off to sleep.

===============================

I watched the sunrise while letting the horses out into their pasture. Wiping a handkerchief over my sweaty face, I rushed through cleaning out the stables and checking on the new kittens. Once they were found and I was satisfied that they’d be okay, I went to the chicken coop. Whiskey made quick work chasing out the hens so I could retrieve the fresh eggs. 

Basket in hand, I trudged back up to the house. It was still pretty early. Boots stacked up by the door, I padded into the kitchen. Once the eggs were washed and placed into the vintage holder on the counter, I set up the coffee percolator. Coffee always felt like a treat after morning chores. I checked the clock on the stove and wandered back upstairs to take a shower. Spending more time than I will ever admit staring at the bags under my eyes, I hopped in and let out a loud sigh as the hot water rained down over my aches. 

Refreshed and nearly ready to take on the day, I headed back to the kitchen, hair wrapped up in a towel to let it dry for a bit while I had my coffee. The strong scent filled my nostrils and I took a cautious sip.

“Coffee,” someone mumbled, “I smell coffee.” 

Tony. I jumped a bit when I first heard him but tried to play it cool. It was obvious he was barely awake. He stumbled around the dogs before stopping just outside the kitchen. 

“Mornin’ Tony,” I whispered.

He was clearly wearing Steve’s shirt, as it swam around his shoulder. Thankfully he had on underwear. I pulled a mug down from the cabinet missing its door. 

“Cream or sugar?”

“No,“ he grumbled. 

I slid the full mug into his hands. “What time is it?”

“Just after six in the morning,” I pointed to the stove clock. 

He groaned loud enough to wake the dead. 

“Why the fuck are you awake?” He exclaimed.

“The ranch don’t run itself,” I whispered, still aware that there were people sleeping in the house. 

We nursed our coffee together for a moment.  _ It’s nice to have so many people around again. I don’t speak to enough adults. _

Mug emptied, I set it in the sink and laid out a few breakfast possibilities for the biker gang treating my house like a BnB. 

“Eggs are fresh,” I tapped the top of them with my finger. “Feel free to eat whatever else you guys can find. I need to finish getting ready for school.”

He mumbled something incoherent and I just smiled to myself. He didn’t seem that much like a hardened biker so early in the morning. Back upstairs, I dropped into the chair in front of the vanity and quickly braided my hair into a crown around my head and secured it with a few pins. It was getting too hot to just let it dry on my way to school. 

Again, I stared at myself in the mirror. Coffee couldn’t hide the dark circles under my eyes.  _ This is as good as it’s gonna get, girl. _ I sighed and walked back downstairs. Bruce had joined Tony in the kitchen nursing a mug of coffee in his hand. Graded quizzes stuffed into my backpack, I went over the door to grab my school shoes. Boots in hand, I said goodbye to Tony and Bruce. I explained I’d be back around 4:30 this afternoon, but they had free run of the kitchen and the living room. I sat down in my chair on the porch and shoved my feet into the boots before walking down to the gate. The dogs followed me the whole way and licked at my hands until I gave them a good squeeze goodbye.

I checked my watch, 6:45 am, at this rate, I’d be late for school. I picked up the pace. I was dripping in sweat when I flopped down into the chair behind my desk. 7.55 am, five minutes to prep before the kids are released to their classrooms. I sprayed on some extra deodorant and pulled a granola bar out of my desk.  _ Just make it through today. Then you can go home… and clean out the farmhands’ house, and the other two bedrooms, and scrub out the blood from the couch cushion, and rehang the cabinet door...  _

===============================

At 2:58 pm, I started packing up the work I’d need to take home with me. I know, what kind of teacher am I? But the thought of all the extra chores that’d needed to be done tonight were egging me on. Practically shoving the tiny body out of my door, I locked it up and raced out of the building like I was one of the kids. I waved bye to the teacher’s assistant helping with carpool pick up. 

Half down the steps, I saw Bucky leaning against his bike. He was dressed in all black, which just reminded me a bit of the  _ Ghost Rider  _ movie . The dangerous biker didn’t care that everyone was openly staring. He waved and for some stupid reason, I looked behind me.  _ Why is he here? _

One of my students pumped into me and jarred me from my stupor. 

“Sorry Miss,” he looked up at me, a bit disoriented. I crouched down and looked him in the eye. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it, Colt. Are you okay? Why don’t you go find your mom?” I suggested. 

He waved goodbye and ran down the steps and towards a minivan. 

When I looked up, Bucky was still there, a dumb grin on his face. 

“Why are you here?” I asked, stepping in front of him. 

“I saw you leavin’ this morning. Did you walk all the way here?” 

“Yup,” I nodded.

“Well, you got me now, so no more walkin' to school like a poor farm kid.”

He tossed his bike helmet at me so quickly I barely had time to react and nearly dropped it. 

“Um, Buck,” I started to say. “It’s awful nice of ya to do this, but I can just walk home.”

“Ain’t no lady of mine walkin’, you’re ridin’ with me, doll.” He crossed his arm at the last part, daring me to disagree with him.

I let out a big sigh. It should creep me out, deeply concern me even, that he kept referring to me as his lady. Honestly, I can’t bring myself to. My heart clearly needed to be wanted and my mind has just stopped trying to fight it. It wasn’t like I didn't find him stupid attractive either. 

_ Jesus take the wheel. _

“Well, Buck, if you want me to be your lady, you’re gonna have to prove you mean it. Memaw didn’t raise no barbie doll and I ain’t easy to please.” I smirked and pulled the helmet over my head. 

Bucky flashed a bigger, cheeky grin at the thought of my challenge. He straddled his bike then and nodded for me to get on behind him. I mounted up behind and wrapped my arms around his waist. _It was kinda like riding a horse_ , I thought, _but much closer to the road._

I picked the wrong day to wear a dress. Yeah, I had been careful to not flash anyone when I got on the bike, but I’m almost certain at least one person caught a glimpse of my underwear on the short ride home. Clint and Sam standing out by the gate when we approached. They opened it and we rolled up the house. _Where did they find the keys?_

I untangled myself from Bucky and quickly dismounted. Helmet removed, I smoothed out the skirt of my dress. The dogs came rushing towards me from around the barn. I had just enough time to sit on the porch step before they tackled me. 

“Who’s my good boys?” I smooshed their faces and gave them a good scratching. Tequila seemed to be in need of extra love cause he wouldn’t stop licking my face. “Parada, parada.” I laughed. 

Acutely aware that Bucky watched me just be licked clean by one of the dogs, I cleared my throat and stood up. I checked my watch, 3:30 pm. I haven’t been home this early in a few months.

“Luna,” Steve stepped out onto the porch. “I’d like to have a word with you.”

I hesitated when the words registered in my brain.  _ What could they want from me now? _ I couldn’t read his tone, but Bucky seemed to want this talk to happen right now, cause he shoved me through the doors of my own house. My gut started to twist up again with anxiety.

Everyone was again gathered around the supper table. Natasha was looking much better, dressed in what I assumed was one of Bruce’s shirts.  _ Why do they keep sharing clothes? _ I asked her how she was feeling, but she just smirked and nodded at me like that answered my question. 

Bucky pushed me down into a chair and then placed his hands on my shoulders. He was a very tactile person apparently.  _ Maybe he wants to intimidate you... _

“So how can I help y’all?” I looked over to Steve, who was sitting at the opposite end of the table. Dallas stood off to the side, hands shoved into his jean pockets, looking the most serious I’d ever seen him. 

“First, I’d like to thank you again for helping us last night. It’s clear that you got all the good graces in the family.” Steve smirked and gestured at Dallas. “I’d like to offer you a deal.”

“W-what kinda deal?” I stuttered, anxiety mounting.

“I’d like to make this the new Avengers compound.” He said it like it wasn’t a big deal, but with my mouth hung open wider than a barn door, he continued, “What that means is that this would simply be a place for us to lay low, call home. In return, we’ll pay to stay and help out around the ranch when we are around.”

“I-I-I need-need-need,” the words I wanted to say weren’t coming out of my mouth. My tongue getting stuck like glue to words that didn’t convey what needed to be explained. Bucky was rubbing slow circles around the junction of my neck and shoulder. It was slowly calming down, grounding me.

I raised my hand when I saw Steve start to speak again. My brain was still processing all this new information. Everything seemed too civil and simple with them. I opened my mouth a few more times to try and speak, but nothing came out.  _ What would Memaw want me to do? _ Protect the ranch and our way of life, save these wandering souls, be the good Texas lady you were. 

“Y’all are lucky my Memaw brought me up right.” I sighed.  _ Why do I keep doing that? Is that just my default way of speaking now? _

“I got some conditions though,” I added quickly. “Rules more like it. I don’t want any violence, drugs, or any other illegal hullabaloo coming onto Three Moons. Y’all will need to leave it at the gate. My reputation in town is already wobbly with everything going on in my life. If you’re gonna be laying low here, you better act like the farmhands we’d normally have around.”

I looked straight at Steve, waiting for him to make a comment. He made a show of mulling it over, stroking his beard, but it was clear from his smirk he thought I was being fair. 

“Also I expect everyone on the ranch to be washed up for supper at 6:30 pm. If you’re staying here, Memaw’d want me ta treat ya like family.” I grinned at the thought of my Memaw shouting at this group to wash up for supper or to get their elbows off the table. She’d probably love having a gang of bikers at the ranch. She’d say it brings excitement back into our lives. She was a wild lady.

Laughter erupted from the table. I looked over at Dallas for a moment. He’s changed so much I barely recognized him anymore. It’s clear to me he was happy I’m letting them stay. Maybe it was something in that letter. Not ready to have that conversation yet, I turned back to Steve.

“Well Luna, you drive a hard bargain, but you got yourself a deal.” Steve stood up and walked around the table to shake my hand. 

===============================

I’m letting the horses back into the stable when the weight of what I’ve agreed to really hits me. My best mare, my Margarita, is trotting around her stall, agitated I haven’t put feed in her trough yet. Her hard push against the doors broke my train of thought.

“Yeah, girl, I know. You’re hungry.” I scooped out the feed and poured it over the half door. 

“Do you think I’ve done the right thing?” I asked her. “I’m sure Memaw would be happy to have all these people around. She’d love Steve. Strong and polite. Heck, I bet she’d love ‘em all. She always knew what the right thing to do was…” My voice trailed off, tears slipping down my cheeks. “I bet she’d try and set me up with one of ‘em too. She hated the thought of me bein’ all alone out here.”

“Margarita, what am I gonna do?” I groaned and banged my head against the door. 

“What’s with you and alcohol, doll?” 

“Geez, Bucky.” I grabbed my chest. “I nearly jumped outta my skin.”

Bucky stood about a yard from the stalls, staring at me with his arms crossed. He had that stupid grin from this afternoon on his face. 

“So there’s Tequila, Whiskey, Margarita,” he counted each name on his hand. “Are you wanna those chicks that don’t drink so you name things after ‘em?”

“Obviously not,” I gave Margarita’s face a rub before I moved further into the stable with the feed bag in its barrel. I scooped feed into each trough, trying not to spill. 

“So then what’s with the names?” 

“Well Tequila and Whiskey were named by Memaw, those were her favorite drinks. When I got Margarita I decided to keep up the tradition. There’s a white mama cat around here somewhere called Mojito. She likes to act sweet, but she’s a nightmare. That’s why I call her that. She just had kittens if you wanna come down here and see.” I rambled. 

Bucky hesitated. 

“You scared a horses, Buck?” I called over my shoulder. 

I sealed up the feed bag and stored the wheel barrel in the empty stall. 

“I ain’t scared of nothing, doll.” He hadn’t moved an inch. 

I wiped my face and hands with my handkerchief from my back pocket and went to stand in front of him. He was definitely scared. He hid it well, but those gorgeous, expressive eyes of his said it all. 

“Come on,” I grabbed his wrist and dragged him down the stables and into the attached barn. With every whinny or stomp, I felt his hand grip mine a bit tighter.

“Take this tray and go stand in the middle there.” I pushed him a little when he didn’t seem to want to move. 

I took the cup out of the cat food bag and gave it a shake. The chubbiest cat immediately came running. When I poured the food on to the tray four more cats came running. 

“Are you a crazy cat lady?” Bucky laughed at me. 

“More of a horse girl,” I smirked. “Cat’s just keep the mice and rats away.”

We watched the cats eat their fill and then wander back off to their hiding places. That was when Mojito came out trailed by her 3 little kittens. The transformation in Bucky then was nothing short of miraculous. Gone was the hardened biker, replaced by a soft marshmallow. 

He crouched down and stuck a finger out to get their attention. The two calico cats had zero interest in him, but the littlest one, all white like its mama, pounced the moment it saw the hand. The giggle that came out of Bucky’s mouth could have melted steel. It was warm, soft, and mesmerizing. He gave the little thing a tummy scratch before it’s mama got annoyed and batted his hand away from her baby. 

“Ow,” he recoiled.

“Mojito’s a bitch.”

“Language,” Bucky gasped in a mocking fashion. It was my turn to laugh then. 

“Oi! Barnes, Luna, you done having your roll in the hay? Caps’ wondering whether the supper rule starts tonight or not?” Loki shouted from somewhere in the stables. 

I looked at my watch, 6:27 pm.

“Aw shoot,” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Sorry about getting a bit sidetracked.”

“I’m not,” Bucky smirked. 

“You can play with them a bit longer if you wanna. There is another door that’ll take ya outside right there.” I pointed to the door behind him. “Cause yer scared of the horses.”

I rushed through doors into the stables and ran into Loki. He was staring at the old black gelding in the first stall. Both his hands were clasped behind his back. He didn’t seem scared, but he also didn’t seem confident enough to stroke the horse. 

“Hells, is Barnes so bad at bedding a woman, he made you cry?” Loki jeered, staring into my red-rimmed eyes. 

“Just having an emotional day Loki.” I sighed, “Is Steve in the house?”

“Yes, where’s Bucky?”

“He’s cuddling the kittens in the barn.” I gestured behind me. “Join if you wanna, I’ll let ya know when suppers ready.” 

I looked over my shoulder before walking out. Loki was practically skipping towards the barn. 

_ Dangerous biker gang my butt. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think I am using enough description? I felt like this chapter started sentences with "I" too much. I will have to do some aggressive proofreading of Ch 3 tonight. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Give me your thoughts and comment below. 
> 
> P.S - I 100% believe that Loki and Bucky would be total besties.


	3. Risky is My New Middle Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much for not being stupid. 

“Hey y’all” I called through the screen door into the house. I yanked off one boot, then jumped to the other foot to remove my left boot. Once they were removed I opened the door.

“Sorry, I got distracted in the stables.”

“Jesus, did Bucky make you cry?” Tony turned around on the couch. 

Everyone immediately looks at my face. “No, just having an emotional day,” I repeated what I said to Loki.  _ Can’t a girl express her emotional distress in peace? _

I watched Steve's eyes narrow for a moment before he turned back to the newspaper he was reading.  _ Where did he get a newspaper? _

“I need to get changed, but then I’ll start supper. Hopefully, y’all haven’t eaten me out of house and home yet.” I gave a nervous laugh and rushed up the stairs. I threw on my school clothes again, they were a bit sweaty but didn’t reek of the barn. 

Back in the kitchen, I felt the eyes on me then. The gang watched me scramble about the place, pulling any edible food I had from the pantry. I set an armload of potatoes on the counter and a couple of onions. I opened the fridge to see what was left in there, but it was pretty desolate beyond some older eggs. I pulled those out as well and went out the backdoor with the intent of going down to the cellar. My audience followed me. 

“Um,” I looked at them standing on the patio all watching me. “Do y’all need me for something right now?” 

“Where are you going?” Thor asked.

“The root cellar.” I pointed at the rusted metal porthole next to the house.

“I thought you said there wasn’t anything out here?” Sam elbows Thor. 

“How am I supposed to know what the fuck that is?”

“Do you wanna check it out? Dallas used to be scared to go down here when we were growin’ up, ya know.” I use my barefoot as leverage to wrench open the door. “It’d probably be good to see we all fit. If there is a tornado this is where we’ll wanna be.”

“I was scared cause you would close the hatch on me.” Dallas glared at me. 

“Well ladies first then,” Tony stood slightly behind Steve, gripping his bicep. 

_ They’re a bunch of chickens. _

I climbed down the steep steps and pulled the string for the light bulb. It flickered for a moment before staying on. The smell of moist soil and fermentation filled my nose. A heady mix of nostalgia and safety washed over me. Hours spent down here, stacking the canned goods, and bottling homemade wine brought an ache to my heart. 

I cleared my throat when the stairs creaked under the weight over the gang stepping down into the cellar. 

“Jesus, this a fucking torture chamber, isn’t it? Are you gonna Texas chainsaw us?” Sam ducked his head under a beam.

“Okay,” I ignored that remark, “so we can all fit pretty easily and I’m sure with Bucky and Loki it shouldn’t be that bad for one night.” I clapped my hands together and Tony and Bruce jumped. “Sorry, guys.”

“Um, Luna, what is this?” Rhodey swiped his finger over the dusty crockery. 

“It’s for making homemade wine, after the summer fruit harvest, we’d always have more than we could eat so we’d make wine. I’ve got a few different bottles left you can try.”

“Yes!” Thor beamed at me. 

I don’t know what’s really got into me today. First with Bucky giving me a ride home, then letting The Avengers use my ranch as a hideout, and now allowing myself to be alone with a group of strange men in a cramped cellar. 

_ I guess risky is my new middle name. _

Okay, so maybe I was just desperate for company, but I sure was being stupid. Coming back to my senses, I shooed them back out of the cellar.  _ At least if they locked me in here I’d have wine and canned peaches _ , I thought.

_ Get it together girl. _

I pulled a few of the better bottles from the rack over the crocks. I set them up on the step then grab two jars of whole tomatoes and three jars of green beans. That’ll have to do until I can get one of the neighbors to drive me to the Wally World.

Jars haphazardly balanced in my arms, I pull the string to turn on the light. The setting sun lit the way back up the surface world. Clint and Thor were examining the dusty bottles when I popped my head out of the porthole. 

“Can someone take these jars please?” I asked

Sam stepped forward and I handed him the two tomato jars. “Christ, what the fuck is in here?”

“The eyes of the last people who lived here Sam.” I deadpanned. He nearly dropped jars, “Just kidding. They are only tomatoes.”

“Fuck, you and Barnes are meant for each other. Only he’d find something like that funny.” 

Sam stepped back and watched me climb out. I closed the hatch and made sure it was secure before I walked back into the kitchen. 

I set the jars down on the counter and Sam does the same. Thor and Clint set the bottle down on the table, still eyeing them. 

“Why are these bottles just old whiskey bottles?” Thor asked.

“Just what I had around during the fall.” Cause I was on a near liquid diet. I don’t say that bit out loud, but it was true. I spent too much time in the bottle when Memaw was at death's door. Thinking back, I'm not sure how I managed hospital visits, the ranch, and school when I could barely function most days. All the memories had a haziness to them. 

“Would you like any help, Luna?” Steve offered.

“Uh, sure, if someone could get the nice glasses from the buffet by the supper table that would be handy.” I started to scrub the potatoes and pick off the sprouts. 

Bruce and Tony went to get the glasses and I set up fixing supper. Fried tomatoes, eggs, and potatoes with a side green beans should hopefully keep them fed for now. The cost of feeding so many people was starting to add up. 

“Can someone set the table? And ring the bell to get Bucky and Loki?” I asked after checking the clock, nearly 7:30 pm.

“What bell?” Tony perked up. 

“The big bell on the porch,” I waved over my shoulder, fully focused on making the perfect fried eggs. 

“Dibs!” Tony and Sam hollered at the same time. Both men jumped out of their seats and booked it to the door. I started dishing up when the distinct sound of the supper bell rang. I can’t wipe the smile from my face. Childhood memories flashed through my mind of Dallas and I fighting to pull the bell to call Papaw back for supper. I passed plates full of food to Steve and Rhodey who took them into the table. A packed table of greedy eyes greeted me when I finally head over. The distant sound boots dropping on to the porch meant that Bucky and Loki got the point of the bell. 

“Hands,” I called out to them before they could step over the kitchen threshold. 

I saw Dallas smirk at that. I wonder if he’s feeling as nostalgic as I am.

“Damn doll, don’t that smell nice.” I felt Bucky’s hand run across my shoulder before taking the seat on my right. A blush rose to my cheeks, but I hoped it passed off as heat from cooking.

Once they sat down, everyone looked at me. “Yeah, just dig in, I don’t really do the full southern church thing.” They seemed more than happy to comply.

“Since when?” Dallas asked around a mouth full of food.

“I haven’t been to church for a while Dallas and that’s all you need to know. Eat your supper.” I pointed my fork at him.

The rest of the meal was filled with small chatter amongst the bikers and metal on porcelain as they ate. I took my last bite of food and then leaned back in my chair. It’d been a while since I’d made a home-cooked meal like that. 

“So Luna,” Steve sets his fork down, plate long emptied, a smile on his face. “Tell me about yourself. You clearly aren’t related to Dallas.”

I laughed at that. “Oh we are related, unfortunately, but I’m about as borin’ as dirt.” 

“Now come on. That can’t be true. Boring people don’t pull knives out of my leg.” Natasha gave me a satisfied grin. 

I just shrugged. I didn’t want to talk about me. Steve's question felt too much like an interview.  _ Or an interrogation... _

“Look, let's get these bottles cracked open and maybe I feel more open to talkin’. You got the choice of Watermelon, Peach, Blackberry or Strawberry.” I deflected.

The bottles were passed around and drinks were poured. A spark of pride glowed in my chest when everyone praised the drink.  _ This is what enjoying a drink with friends feels like I guess.  _ They are all chatting and joking, having an excellent time. Soon that spark of pride was overshadowed by the sudden realization that I didn’t really have any friends. Between school and the ranch, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone out with the sole intention of having fun.

I feel an all too familiar ache in my throat. My watch read almost 9 pm and I hadn’t even started in on grading papers yet. 

“Sorry y’all, but I’m gonna have to excuse myself. Homework doesn’t grade itself. Just stack your plates in the sink and I’ll wash ‘em up in the mornin’.”

“What, come now, we’ve only just started drinking Miss Luna.” Loki poured himself a third glass of wine. 

“Sorry,” I tried to huff out a laugh, but it sounded pathetic. 

Plate in the sink, I grabbed my work from the tiny desk and took the steps up two at a time. I didn’t mean to slam my door shut, but I did. I let the tears start to fall then. A deep loneliness crept across my skin and settled my limbs. I pushed away from the door to get ready for bed. 

_ So much for not being stupid.  _

The subtle changes weren’t noticeable at first. I’d missed them earlier, but now I kept reaching for things and finding them slightly out of place. Hamper on the left side of the vanity instead of the right. My bed was made a bit differently than I normally did it. It’s when I reached for my sleep shirt and it was just completely missing, that the dots connected in my mind. 

_'Where'd they find the gate keys?'_

‘I thought you checked out here?’ Sam's voice echoed in my mind.

_ Those fucking creeps. They’d gone through my things. They touched  _ **_Memaw's_ ** _ things. _

I saw red. 

Not caring that I was half-dressed at all, I flung open the door and leaned over the banister. 

“WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS CAME INTO THIS ROOM?”

Complete silence. I heard Tequila and Whiskey whimper near the fireplace at the harshness in my voice. I never shouted as far as the dogs knew.

“If I don’t get an explanation right now, I’m gonna set the fucking grain barn on fire with your bikes in it.” My voice strained from trying to control my fury. 

Searching the rest of the house was one thing, but this room was my sanctuary. The one room in the house that helped me through the cold nights at the ranch. Fuck it, this was the one place on God’s green earth that felt safe and secure and like home and they violated it. 

I was wearing nothing but a sweater and my underwear when I crashed down the stairs and out the front door. Fuck boots, I headed straight outside into the night barefoot. If they are shouting at me, I didn’t hear it. 

A firm hand grabbed my arm and forced me to stop. It was Bucky’s hand. I already recognized his touch without looking at him.  _ Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

“Baby girl, stop.”

“Why?” I seethed.

“Because you don’t wanna do this.” I looked back then. The gang stood as still as statues on the porch, shadowed by the glow of the house. They looked like a dangerous biker gang then.  _ And right at home on the porch that was supposed to be yours. _

“Let go of me Bucky.”

“We had to check the house for any sort of bugs or wires, okay. They didn’t take anything. Dallas said it was fine to check that room.”

“Who went into that room?” I choked back a sob.

“Just me, baby girl. Let me take you inside, you’re gonna get sick out here in just your panties.”

“Let go of me Buck, I’m gonna sleep in the stables. I-I can’t-can’t be in there right-right now.” I stuttered, feeling the tears start to fall again.  _ Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

“The deal is still fine. I’m too much of stupid farm kid to do anything to hurt the Avengers. I just need to cool off.”

“Listen, we had to-”

“Save it,” I interrupted and twisted out of his hold. 

“CAPTAIN,” I shouted to get Steve’s attention, as if he wasn’t staring, watching the tragedy that was my life. “I’m sorry for my temper. I don’t have the guts to do shit.”

I raised my hands in defeat and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today. Tomorrow's will be longer. A part of me wonders if things are progressing both too slow and too fast. Let me know what you think!


	4. You're Still My Girl

I didn’t sleep a wink. I just sat on the ledge of the hayloft, doors wide open, wrapped in a horse coat. I swung my leg over the ledge and stared up at the sky. A crescent moon hung low. The best kind of moon. Wisps of clouds covered the stars, but they couldn’t hide the moon. 

The events of the night kept replaying in my head. Should I have reacted differently? Were they right to be so intrusive? Why didn’t I care if they checked all the other rooms in the house? It was all my house now. I should have been offended that they had zero trust in me. How was I a threat?

The screen door slammed shut. I had watched The Avengers walk back into my house from the barn doors before I climbed the latter up the loft. They were inside for a while, but around midnight the boys came wandering out and headed towards farmhands' house. I couldn’t see him, but I felt Bucky looked up at me from my perch.

When the sun crested the horizon, I pulled myself back together like I always did. Chores don’t stop. Still wrapped in the coat, I let the horse into the field, little concern for my bare feet. I flung the coat into the empty stall.

The morning dew felt nice on my feet, but the chilly breeze brought goosebumps to my bare legs as I made my way to the chicken coop. I pulled the tiny gate open but didn’t bother to gather eggs this morning. They’d be fine to get this afternoon. 

I trudged back up to the house and wiped my bare feet on the too rough mat in front of the door. Of course, when I am trying to be quiet the screen door creaked extra loud. There’s the distinct sound of clacking nails on hardwood. Tequila and Whiskey pushed the door aside to get my attention. I shushed them and tiptoed upstairs. They followed and honestly I was grateful for it. I needed the extra support to go back into this place. Everything was the same, but so different now. It was just another room in a house I technically owned.

I stripped out my barn smelling clothes and walked straight into the shower. I didn’t wait for it to heat up, I needed the cold jolt of water to keep me awake. I don’t know how long I stood under the hot water, but Tequila started to whine from the other side of the door. Skin scrubbed raw, I stepped out and went through the motions of getting ready for school. 

It’s only 6:30 when I get downstairs. My damp hair soaked through the back of my dress. I didn’t walk any further into the living room than I had to, to grab my boots. It almost doesn’t even feel like home anymore. Memaw’s antiques clutter nearly ever surface. There are family portraits and faded pictures of the ranch on the walls. But still. 

Flecks of dust floated in the air and reflected from the sun shining through the windows. There was a thin layer of dust on everything. I hadn’t had the energy to clean recently. The sigh that left my body just added another weight to my chest. 

The dogs walked me down to the gate. I climbed over it and headed to school. 

===============================

I stood in line for lunch at the cafeteria, completely zoned out, when a male teacher slid up next to me.  _ It’s Mr. Stewart,  _ m y brain fired out. Not this guy again.

“Hey, there Miss Cowgirl. Got fun plans for the Easter break?” His gazes traveled over my body, spending a bit too much time around the neckline of my dress. 

“Sorry, what?” I looked over at him.  _ How is it Easter already? I haven’t even decorated my classroom. _

He was wearing oversized khaki slacks and a short-sleeved button-down that just screamed  **CREEP** to me. 

“Already checked out huh?” He chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve not got any real plans for the week off.”

Hmm was all I managed while I swiped my ID and took my tray towards the teachers' table. I had already shown one film in class today and I planned to show another this afternoon. I was barely functioning. No amount of coffee was going to keep out of a zombie state. He followed me, despite my lack of interest in continuing the conversation.

“Maybe I could come round to the ranch and you could give me a ridin’ lesson.” He suggestively grazed his knuckles across my forearm. He made my skin crawl, which disgustingly he took as a positive thing.

“We can talk after school,” he smirked when I just stared ahead, eyes blown wide, and left his empty tray next to me.

I ate my lunch only because I paid for it. He had ruined my appetite. I heaved myself up and cleaned up both trays. Head held forcefully high, I slowly made my way back to my classroom. One of the secretaries caught my attention when I walked by their glass enclosure. 

“Hey, just the lady I was looking for. These came for you just now.” She smiled and handed me a vase of flowers I hadn’t even noticed. 

They were a beautiful mix of sunflowers, snapdragons, and pink roses. 

_ I’m literally the walking dead right now if I can’t notice something like this. _

“Oh, uh, hmm.”

“Looks like you might have a secret admirer,” she cooed, before rushing off to answer the phone. 

Once back in the classroom, I set the vase down on my desk and went to refill my coffee. School coffee was horrible, but my eyelids were barely complying with the rest of me to stay open and awake.

Refusing to sit down in my chair in fear I’d fall asleep, I stood at the front of my desk and plucked the note for the bouquet. 

> _ Baby girl, we need to talk. You’re still my girl. _

That was all it said. The petty part of me wanted to dump the vase into the nearest trash can. But that part of me was small and easily overpowered by my tired (read stupid) brain who thought it was thoughtful to send me flowers and really loved that he still wanted me. 

_ I barely know this guy. Why do I care?  _

I stared at the flowers until chattering, sweating kids came back in from recess. 

“Alright, who’s ready to watch Planet Earth?” I pulled down the projector screen to cheers.

===============================

At 3:30, I walked out of school. My tired arms struggled to keep the vase of flowers up. It felt like they weighed more than Margarita. I misstepped on the stairs and water sloshed onto my arm when I rapidly transferred the vase from both hands to one so I could grab the railing. 

Mr. Stewart found my misfortune hilarious. I heard his laughter behind me and twisted around to glare at him. He was standing too close. The petals of my flowers rubbed up against his chest and my arm the only thing keeping his body off mine. He used his position on the stairs to tower over me. 

“So Miss Cowgirl, you didn’t answer my question at lunch, do you got any plans for the break?” 

“Yeah, I do, actually. I’ve got some new farmhands at the ranch I’ve gotta train up.” I kept my voice flat, which was a feat considering the horrible, disgusting feelings he gave me. 

When he grabbed my hand on the railing, I fought the urge to stomp the heel of my boot into his foot. I tried to move my hand but he wouldn’t budge. 

“You are hurting my hand,” I spoke quietly, hyper-aware of our surroundings. I didn’t want to cause a scene here at school. 

“I was serious about that ridin' lesson. When can I come round?” As he spoke he leaned further into me. His breath reeked of chewing tobacco.

I did stomp on his foot then. He wore soft canvas shoes, and I felt the wooden heel of my boot crunch his toes. He let out a low grunt. I jerked my hand free from his grasp.

“If it isn’t school-related, Mr. Stewart, don’t speak to me.” I hissed and turned to leave. 

I spotted Tall, Dark, and Devastatingly Handsome across the street, leaning against a light pole. Instantly I was glad to see him, but then he must have seen what happened with Mr. Stewart. Shame started to bubble up. _What must he think of me after that?_

Against what was probably my better judgment, I walked over to him. _ I just want a hug right now,  _ my heart cried.

“Is that guy bothering you, doll?” Bucky didn’t look at me, he just glared at Mr. Stewart.

I put the vase of flowers down, “I just need a hug, Buck.”

I sounded desperate, I knew it. My voice was strained and my hands trembled a bit. I blamed it all on my sleep-deprived brain, but it seemed to break Bucky out some kind of spell. When he looked at me there was a wash of emotion across his face. His eyes were a soft blue. He pulled me into his strong arms and I clung to him like a lost child. I didn’t care if people saw me crying all over this man. I needed this. 

I rested my forehead on his shoulder and breathed in his scent - leather, exhaust fumes, musky cologne. It was a surprisingly comforting mix of aromas that I was more than happy to swim in for a bit longer. His worn red henley only added to my comfort and helped level out my emotions. 

I was vaguely aware that he was saying things into my hair, but I couldn’t understand them. I ended the hug when I stopped crying. 

“Sorry ‘bout that,” I wiped away a stray tear. “I haven’t slept in a while.”

I hiccuped and Bucky gave me the softest, marshmallow smile again. I almost wanted to cry all over again.

“Don’t worry about it, doll. I take care of what’s mine.” He stroked my cheek. 

“No bike today?” I peered around, desperate to change the subject. 

“Nah, I wanted a chance to talk to you before everyone else.” He bent down to pick up the vase. “Glad to see these didn’t end up in the trash.”

I laughed a bit at that and started walking home, “A small part of me wanted to, but I’m a sucker for sunflowers.”

We walked in silence for a bit longer, our hands occasionally brushed, but I made no effort to actually hold his hand. The brief contact was enough for now. I needed to gather my thoughts for what was about to happen. We turned off the asphalt and onto the dirt road that led to the ranch. 

“I’m not sorry for going in your room.” He blurted out. 

“And I’m not surprised. Y’all don’t seem like the type to really apologize for things.” I sighed. 

_ Here we go again with the sighing. _

“I am sorry I didn’t ask you though.” He sighed this time.

“Good, cause this ain’t gonna work if we can’t trust each other.” I stared straight ahead. “I don’t need to know all your secrets right now, or maybe ever, just like you don’t need to know mine, but I expect a certain level of respect.”

“That sounds… fair,” he sounded unhappy about that. _Is annoyed that I have secrets?_

“And with that, I need to apologize for my temper and stupid threat yesterday. My emotional state is no excuse to threaten property damage or shout like that.” 

“That sounded like a quack taught you that phrase.”

“They did.”

We walked slowly, nearly there before he spoke again. 

“I’d be lying to ya baby girl if I said I didn’t find you angry kinda hot though. Also just fucking storming out the house in your panties.” Buck smirked and gave me a side-eye. “I ain’t ever seen any of those guys look so scared. Well, I’ve seen Steve that scared before once when Tony got shot...” I gave Bucky a bugged eyed look at how he casually talked about a friend being shot. He cleared his throat. 

“That’s a story for another time maybe.”

We are standing in front of the gate that leads up the ranch now. I paused when I saw it was still locked. Bucky must have just climbed over it. That made me smile a bit, but my nerves were kicking into high gear now. 

“Real talk Buck, do I still have a house up there? How mad is Steve? How mad is everyone else? Oh god, am I gonna find a horse head in my bed, cause that may kill me.”

“Calm down, Doll.” He smiled, “Let’s just get in there and get it over with.”

===============================

The first thing I saw when I walked into the house was Dallas is a hot pink crop top with ‘Punishment Shirt’ written on it in marker. Second, was the living room. It sparkled, it was so clean. All the knick-knacks dusted, the shotgun polished up real nice, pillows fluffed. The kitchen was in the same state, the cabinet door was even reattached. 

Tequila and Whiskey had also had a bath if the slightly wet dog smell was anything to go by.  _ Why have they done this? Aren’t I supposed to be apologizing? _

I was herded into the dining room, where everyone was again sitting around staring at me. I didn’t move to take the empty seat at the head of the table opposite Steve. Buckey stood next to me.

“Miss Luna,” he nodded.

“Captain,” I squeaked. 

“I’m glad to see the flowers made it home.” He said, eyes flicking to the bouquet Bucky was still holding. 

“I’m really sorry,” I rushed out “What I said last night was in anger and not with clear forethought. That doesn’t excuse my actions, but please know that I would not damage anyone’s property. My temper is a work in progress.”

I took a deep practiced breath, “I don’t have an issue with your searching the property, but I would have appreciated being asked.”

I stared Steve straight in the eyes and waited. The creaking of bodies on chairs is a cacophony in the dead silence. 

“Good, I accept your apology.” He smirked, “Now, Dallas would like to apologize to you.”

“I’m sorry,” He grumbled from his position against the wall.

Natasha smacked his exposed abdomen. 

“I’m sorry for not respectin’ your space, Sis.” He rubbed his red stomach.

“Here, here,” Thor slammed a fist down on to the table. 

“If the deal is to work, there needs to be a very high level of trust here,” Steve crossed his arms. 

“I agree.”

“Give me your phone,” Tony made grabby hands at me.

“Oh, uh, hold on one second.” I turned and walked to the desk in the other room.

I rummaged through the pile of bills and heard a thud. Wrapped in a ridiculous armored camo case sat my dusty smashed smartphone.

I chucked it at Tony, “I haven’t used it in about 5 months. I uh, got angry, and threw it at the fireplace. It hasn’t worked since.”

“You don’t have a phone?” Tony made it sound like I was crazy.

“Who am I gonna call?” I crossed my arms.

“The ghostbusters?” Clint laughed. Tony shot him a look.

“Look, I’ll get ya a new phone, doll. Tony was just gonna set you up with some security and our numbers.” Bucky threw his arm over my shoulder

“You don’t need to do that.” I shook my head at the ridiculous idea, “I can barely afford to keep the lights on. I can’t afford a phone.”

The pity in their gaze made me feel sick. Who were they to judge me? I’m not looking for handouts and I’m certainly not any bodies charity case. 

“You need a cellphone, Luna. What would happen if you got hurt out here? The next ranch is at least 10 miles away.” Bruce tried to reason.

“Well, then I guess I’d just die?”

There was a chorus of cursing and blatant glares directed at Dallas then. I didn’t see anything wrong with what I'd said. Everyone dies at some point, but they were taking issue with it. 

“Dallas, why are you such a piece of shit?” Natasha sneered. 

“I didn’t know it had gotten so bad,” He tried to defend.

“It’s not his fault Natasha.”  _ Why am I defending him now? _

“Well, you aren’t dying on our watch doll. It’s like I said, I take care of what’s mine.” Bucky pulled me closer into his side.

“Yeah and I ain’t someone’s fixer-upper.” I shoved his hand off my shoulder and glared at him. 

“Luna, why do you walk to the school you work at every day?” Steve interjected.

“The truck broke down right before the funeral, I ain’t got the money for a tow or mechanic.” I sighed and shrugged. 

_ I’m a fucking disaster. _

Thankfully, before they could comment anymore on the current state of my life, there was a distant sound of honking and revving engines. Rhodey and Clint ran out to the front window. 

“There are two guys on an ATV out front,” Rhodey confirmed. 

“That’ll be the Laramie boys.” I groaned and turned to leave. 

“Who are they?” Bucky pulled me back into him. 

“Preacher owns a farm further along the road. He’s been sending his boys around every so often to check on me and try to convince me to go back to church.”

On cue, the boys knocked on the door and called out my name. I had to pry Bucky’s arm from around me to head to the door. He followed right behind me. The Laramies’ shocked faces greeted me when I finally opened the door. 

“Hey boys,” I tried to smile, “What can I do ya for?”

“Hiya Miss, we’ve just been seein’ a lot’a activity round the ranch the last couple’a days and wanted to check on ya since ya ain’t got your Memaw or man around.” The older of the two boys gulped, making eye contact with the man hovering behind me. He must be about 17 now. 

Bucky leaned over and placed his hand on the door frame, not saying anything. He must have looked a sight to the boys, his face still bruised and bandaged. The visitors both paled when he scowled at them. I tried to make my smile even bigger and more pleasant. 

“Pa also wanted to let ya know that he's doing a service for yer Papaw on Sunday, cause it’s been a year now.” The younger one, he was maybe 15, wrung out the ball cap he had in hand.

“Oh,” I rubbed my arm, trying to banish an uneasiness. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it with the new farmhands around.”

“Well, ya know we’ve been missin’ ya and the choir just ain’t the same without ya.” The older explained, puppy dog eying me.

“Look, boys, if I get these hands trained up before Sunday, I’ll see you first thing all right? Have a happy Easter.” I waved and closed the door. 

Rhodey and Clint watched them get on their 4-wheeler and drive off through the field to the left of the house. Tension eased out of the biker’s shoulders the further into the distances they got. 

“Is it Easter already?” Bruce asked when we returned.

“Do you have to go to school if it’s Easter?” Steve asked when I finally sat down.

“No, I’ve got until next Monday off for a combined Easter and Spring break. So I’ll be around for a bit. I’ve got a school calendar around here somewhere. I can dig it out this weekend and share it with ya.” 

“What’s this about training farmhands?” Rhodey walked back in. 

“If y’all are gonna stay, you’ll need a reason to be around. We normally have hands around this time of year. Figured it would be a good cover cause it’s not too out of the ordinary.” I shrugged.

“And a part of the deal is we’re supposed to help out if Miss Luna needs it.” Clint nodded.

“Which she clearly does. Look at the bags under her eyes. She looks more like a raccoon than you Clint.” Loki smirked at me. Bucky punched his shoulder. 

“Well look at the time. I’ve got chores.” I looked at my watch, 5:30 pm. “And it’s already passed time that I’d normally have ‘em done. Suppers gonna be late again.”

“Dallas can cook supper if that makes things easier for you, Luna.” Natasha offered.

“Now y’all really wanna punish me, don’t ya?” I laughed and went to get changed.

===============================

I had to think extra hard when doing chores tonight. First I had Whiskey and Tequila herd the chickens so I could get the eggs I’d left this morning. Second, I fed the cats and cleaned up the stalls. I also decided to fill the troughs at that point as well, so once the horses were in for the night I would be done. Tomorrow I would give them the attention they deserved. 

Double checking that each stall door was open, I pulled the latch that opened the gate that led to the pasture. Thundering hooves echoed off the stone floor and shook wooden walls.

The very unmanly shrieks that followed made my head hurt more than anything. I ran towards the stalls, concerned that a snake had gotten in, but when I rounded the corner all I saw was Margarita stomping and snorting at the narrow door that connected the stables to the barn. The other’s were happily in their stalls eating, but my girl was causing trouble. 

I came around on her left side and tugged her bridle down to my face. With a few soft words and a scratch behind the ear, she was putty in my hands. Loki and Bucky were clinging to each other when I faced them. Bucky was also clinging on to the white kitten, who didn’t seem bothered at all by Margarita’s bad behavior. 

I put Margarita in her stall and closed the door before I went back to them.

“Jesus fucking christ Luna control your beast!” Loki shouted.

“Margarita wouldn’t hurt a fly.” I grinned at the pair, still clinging to one another. 

“I beg to fucking differ,” Loki yelled back.

“You can let go of me now Loki, you’re crushing Alpine.” Bucky’s voice shook when he spoke. 

“I will do no such thing until all the animals are secured.”

I rolled my eyes at Loki and closed all the stall doors. 

“Are you happy now?” I asked.

“No,” He said as he let go of Bucky.

“Bruce says supper is ready” Bucky scratched under the kitten’s chin before it squirmed free to run back to its mama. 

“Awesome, I gotta head out this way to get the eggs, if you wanna follow me.” I smiled.

“NO.”

Once back up at the house, I made a beeline for my room to wash up and put on some soft clothes. Old sweat pants, a shirt from when I was in high school, and one of Memaw’s sweaters. I had every intention of going to bed immediately after supper. The bed was almost more tempting than food, but the gang had gone through the trouble of cooking so I needed to make a show of being there. I checked the vanity mirror before I went down. Memaw wouldn’t be approving of this outfit with guests around the house, but the thought of putting my school dress back made my skin itch.

I rounded the corner into the kitchen and was hit with the heady smell of fajita spices and smoking meats.  _ They must have gone out to the store to get food. _

“Do y’all need any help?” I asked, staring at the six men standing in front of the stove. 

“No, you just go sit down Miss Luna.” Sam waved me away.

It felt weird being shooed out of the kitchen, but I was in no state to argue. Exhaustion was taking over my mind faster and faster. I checked my watch, almost 8 pm. 

I took my seat at one end of the table. Plates were already on the table with jarred salsa at each end. Natasha was also sitting down, cleaning the pocket knife I had pulled from her leg.  _ That’s not concerningly creepy... _

“How’s your leg doing?” I wrapped my sweater more tightly around me and leaned back in my chair. 

“It's good, thanks doc. Though Bruce won’t let me do anything but sit down all day.” She glared at his general direction

“Aw, yeah, I’m sure that is no fun. But you don’t wanna put too much strain on healing muscles I guess.”

“Listen to the lady Nat,” Bruce called out from behind me.

“Where’s the cap?” Bucky strolled into the dining room and sat down next to me. Loki followed closely behind.

“On a call outside.” Natasha flipped her new knife closed.

The perfect timing of this group. As if he knew he was wanted, Steve walked back in through the back door. He sat down at his head of the table and just scowled. The boy’s in the kitchen heaved a heavy platter of grilled meats and sauteed vegetables on to the center of the table. Tony made a flourish of revealing warmed tortillas and started passing them when everyone sat down. It smelled and looked amazing. Tequila and Whiskey sat on either side of my chair, drooling and waiting for scraps.

“Thanks for cooking guys,” I smiled at them when two tortillas were tossed on to my plate. 

We ate in silence for a while longer. Everyone was clearly aware that Steve’s mood was not good. He ate with a scowl on his face that never faltered. Whatever it was that had upset him, he didn’t seem too inclined to share.  _ It’s probably me. Should I say something? _

“Steve, if you need to talk about work I can go,” I suggested to him. 

“No, you can stay.” He continued to scowl, “Trust, right?”

I nodded, waiting for him to continue. While I waited I took another bite of my fajitas. Just not quite as spicy as I liked them. 

“Clint, Rhodey, Sam, Thor, Loki, Dallas - I need you to head out first thing tomorrow for an extraction. Fury’s called in his favor.”

There was a loud collective groan. 

“No complaining, the contract’s been agreed.” Steve scowled at them. 

“Do I have to wear the shirt on the job?” Dallas asked. 

“Did Miss Luna say you could take it off?” He asked in return. 

All eyes came to me, half zoned out and a huge bite of food in my mouth.  _ So very ladylike of you, you zombie gremlin,  _ I thought, making eye contact with Steve. Dallas’s eyes were pleading for me to clear him, but everyone else’s eyes had a mischievous gleam to them. They wanted him to have to wear the stupid shirt on a job apparently.

“I didn’t realize that was my choice.” I swallowed. 

“Well the crime was against you, so we thought it’d be fitting for you to decide when he’d been forgiven.” Tony gave me a wicked grin.

“Will y’all be back for Easter lunch?” 

“Yes, they should be back then, why?” Steve questioned. 

“I was gonna make a big lunch with a turkey and everything. If they’ll be back by then, I don’t see the problem with him keeping the shirt until then.” 

Everyone laughed at that. Dallas didn’t, but I didn’t care. I was just happy to be included.

_ It almost feels like family. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big Geralt energy in this chapter imo  
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/df945575e5a8bcd05cd5d5527a2662ff/3d299e317e071681-11/s400x600/abcdfe0be273c1c7cc3a15e0bd9622c7303f2c35.gifv


	5. And you trust me?

The Texas morning sun coated the house in a golden glow that I could never get tired of. Texas really felt like heaven on earth sometimes. The breeze wafted dust across the path and around the house.

Chores done for the morning, I walked up to the porch with a basket full of eggs. I was leaning over, unlacing my boots when I heard the grumbled voices of the boys coming around the house. It’s 6:30 am. The boys heading out today were dressed, leather saddlebags in hand, while Bucky dressed in only his underwear and boots. 

I stared. How could I not?

My eye slowly traveled up over his thick muscular thighs, black boxer brief leaving very little to the imagination. Heat rose to my cheeks. Above the waistband, was a trail of dark hair that covered his equally thick muscled torso. That was when I noticed the scarring that traveled from his left shoulder down to his forearm. He had clearly tried to cover it with some kind of cityscape tattoo, but the raised flesh was still there. If anything the tattoo and scarring just made the muscle underneath seem bigger, more defined. When he caught me staring, I just smiled up at him, a big ole blush spread over my face.  _ Can’t hide it now. _

“Mornin’ sleepy heads. What are you doing up so early?” I asked as they undid their boots. 

“Tradition, doll. Anytime anyone goes out for a job we have a family breakfast.” Bucky stood extra close to me.

“Oh, I guess I better get in the kitchen then.” I grabbed the egg basket and ran for the kitchen before I could embarrass myself. 

The scent of bacon filled the air when I opened the door. I followed it into the kitchen. Tony and Bruce were both slumped over the countertop, barely even sat on the barstool, nursing a cup of coffee. They were in the same state of undress as Wednesday. Steve stood in front of the stove, but he had the courtesy to put pants on at least. 

_ What is with these people not having clothes on? _

“Mornin’,” I chirped. “I’ve got fresh eggs you can use for breakfast if you want Steve.”

“That’d be great Miss Luna thank you. Don’t worry about helping, just grab some coffee before it is all gone.”

I quickly grabbed a mug and took the last of the coffee. I set up the percolator to make another pot before I took in a heady whiff of liquid gold. 

“How are you so alive right now?” Tony groaned from his position at the bar.

“Practise and youth I suppose.” I leaned forward onto my elbows.

“I am not old.” He countered, pointing a finger in my general direction without raising his head.

“Tones you are 45. You are the oldest in the family.” Steve chuckled.

“How old are you Luna?” Bruce asked between sips.

“22”

Bruce choked on his coffee and I heard a whistle to my left. 

“Christ Buck you fucking cradle robber.” Clint wandered through towards the table.

The rest of the guys started to pack in around the table.

“What’s this about me bein’ a cradle robber?” Bucky walked over to stand beside me.

Or at least I thought to stand because he promptly flopped his whole body against my back using me to support his weight.

“You could sit in a chair.” I sipped my coffee, trying to not blush at the half-naked man draped on me. 

“But you’re so comfortable.” He reached around for my coffee.

“You could also get your own coffee.” I retorted but didn't fight him taking my mug. 

“Luna is only 22 years old Bucky,” Loki said just as Bucky tipped the coffee back. 

I felt his body jerk as he choked on the hot liquid. I also felt a decent amount of the liquid on my back. Loki just snickered more and I gave him a hard glare. 

“Shit, sorry doll.” He coughed out, smacking his chest.

“Do I look so bad that y’all thought I was that much older?” I looked at the group now gathered at the table and raised an eyebrow at them.

My question was met with a chorus of no’s. 

“Well, how old is everyone else if Tony is oldest at 45 and Dallas is 29?”

“Stop saying the number,” Tony groaned. 

“Everyone else is their 30s, except Bruce who is 42.” Natasha came around the corner in another of Bruce's shirts.

“She’s like a baby compared to the rest of us,” Sam commented.

“She’s young enough to be your daughter Tony,” Bruce added.

“How does that make you feel Dallas?” Clint shook my brother’s pink-clad shoulder roughly.

“I’m pretending none of it is happening.”

“They’ll probably bone this weekend.” Natasha mused.

“Loki told me they rolled in hay already,” Thor teased.

“Can I ever have one breakfast without you pervert ruining it?” Rhodey cut in.

To describe my face as red would have been the understatement of the year. My embarrassment was a physical aura around me at that moment. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye or move from my position on the counter. Tony took mercy on me. He shoved Bucky towards the table and pushed my face into his chest.

“If any of you fucker talk about my child like that again I’ll cut your nipples off.”

===============================

I survived breakfast, somehow, though I mostly just stared at my plate and wished for the sweet release of death. After the dishes were done, I escorted the six boys out of the gate. 

“Be safe,” I called after them, waving.

Finally alone again, I wandered back up to the house. With so much time on my hands, I started to form a hefty to-do list in my brain. So consumed by the thoughts of what needed to be done around the house I didn’t even notice the others still in the house. I pulled the note pad off the fridge, fished a pen out from the desk, and went back outside to make my mental list physical. It was a daunting list. With a good portion of the items on the list requiring the truck. The truck that hadn’t run in months. I loathed the idea of asking the Laramie’s to take me where I need to go. They would try and guilt trip me into going to church on Sunday. My pen tapped on the pad while I thought about how I was going to get all this work done. 

“So, what’s the plan for today baby girl?” Bucky leaned against the porch rail, still not dressed.

“Too much,” I pursed my lips together but refused to look at him. 

Tony and Steve burst out of the house then. Both freshly showered based on their damp hair. Steve wrapped his large arm around Tony and pulled him down onto the porch swing. There was a relaxed air about Steve I hadn’t seen before. It softened his features and made him look like a different person almost. 

“Well, what’s on this list of yours?” Bucky pulled my attention back to him. 

“In the next 10 days, I need to buy feed for the horses and chickens, I need to repair one of the stalls, I need to find a way to fix the air conditioning in both houses, I need to check the fencing along the north side of the pasture, I need to test the pH of the lake and get that to the health department for the summer, I need to till the garden, I need to buy all the vegetables and fruits I want to plant for the summer, and then actually plant them, I need to get three of the workhorses ready for auction next weekend, which will take me a whole day, I need to do laundry, I need to go grocery shopping, I need to go hunting for a fresh turkey for Sunday, and I also promised Margarita we’d go for a run today. She’s been extra agitated recently, but I think it’s because of the change in weather. But then, with the run comes grooming and that normally takes me a while as well. I’ve also got to figure out how I’m gonna get to all these places. Town isn’t far, but it’s not like I could just roll up in a horse-drawn carriage.” I rambled on. 

“You also need to add training us farmhands to that list,” Steve laughed from the swing.

I just groaned and wrote that down. He was right. If we were gonna roll with the idea that they were farmhands here to help out, they’d at least have to look like they knew what they were doing. I couldn’t do anything until they were all back. Dallas might remember some things, but I couldn’t leave it to him to manage.

“Also you need to get a phone. No child of mine will be off the grid.” Tony pipped in.

“I’m not sure I’ll have time to get to the city to buy a phone, Tony,” I whined.

“I can drive you into the city this afternoon.” Bucky offered with a grin. 

“And what about everything else here? It's an hours drive there and then another back. Where am I gonna find the time?”

“Look, Luna, we can help. You gotta trust us.” Tony turned to fully look at me. 

I knew I needed to shove my pride down and admit I needed help. Sure, I wanted to show everyone in town that I could manage the ranch on my own. They’d made no attempt to quiet their gossiping when I was around. 

_ ‘How was a woman like  _ her _ going to manage a full ranch?’ _

_ ‘ _ She’s _ too young, too weak, too ignorant to know how to do things.’ _

_ ‘ _ She’d  _ be better off selling the ranch.’ _

“It’s not a trust thing Tony, it’s a pride thing.” I sighed, “It would be a really great help if someone could look at the truck and air conditioning.”

“Is there anything you  _ have _ to get done today?” Steve asked.

“It would be great to go to the Wally World today to get groceries for this week.” I mused, thinking about the prospects of how I was gonna afford to feed 11 extra mouths.

“Well, why don’t you run the horses or whatever, and if Tony gets the truck fixed up by this afternoon, we can head out when you are done.” Bucky smiled at me. 

“What are y’all gonna do today?” I asked.

“I’ve got some admin to do and Tony will get to work on the truck,” Steve waved his hand over at Bucky, “Buck can prove himself useful in some way.”

The thought that came to mind then may have been a bit evil, but it would kill two birds with one stone since it was a job that needed two pairs of eyes ideally.

“Bucky could run Margarita with me and help check the fences.” I grinned wickedly up at him.

He tried to keep a straight face, but there was a flash of fear in his eyes. How this hardened biker could be scared of horses was beyond me. 

“Great idea, keep him outta trouble.” Steve grinned as well. 

“Sounds like a plan, I’ll go saddle up Margarita. Meet me out here in 15 minutes.” I shot up and ran off to get ready. 

The sound of his stomping and groaning only made me laugh. 

I put Margarita in her English saddle. It didn’t have much padding, but it’d comfortably hold two of us. She held still while I got her ready, but when I grabbed her reins to walk her towards the house, the calmness wavered. Hooves stomped and she nipped at my shoulder. 

Bruce and Natasha were now on the porch as well with Steve and Tony. The couples looked relaxed, shooting the breeze. At home in the rising Texas sun. Even with the craziness, they’ve brought to my life, this is the most at peace I’ve felt since the funeral. 

_ I must be outta my mind Memaw. I wish you were here to meet these guys. _

I sent up a silent prayer to her and Papaw, hoping that they would be proud of me and the work I was doing even if that meant trusting some dangerous people.

Margarita nickered at the new people and shook her mane. 

“10 bucks says he can’t get on the horse.” Natasha immediately leaned over the porch. 

“How big is, uh, Margarita did you call it?” Bruce asked

“She’s 16 hands high, so about 64 inches, from her wither,” I patted just past her mane, “to her hooves.” 

“I’ll take that bet.” Steve laughed from the porch swing.

“What’s with the spots? I thought horses were like brown and pulled the Budweiser cart.” Tony smirked and waved his coffee mug at me.

“Well, the bud horses are Clydesdales. Margarita here is an Appaloosa. If you’re wantin’ a full lesson on horses, you’ll want to come with me to the auction next weekend. They’ll have all kinds.” I smiled at their interest in my girl. 

“Plus, when everyone is back, I need to give you the official tour of the ranch. I’m not sure how thorough your first search was.” 

“Based on the fact that those idiots didn’t know about the root cellar I would say it wasn’t.” Tony sounded peeved at that.

Bucky rounded the path to the front of the house then and frowned at the audience. He was wearing thick looking jeans, a heavy-duty shirt, and his leather jacket.

_ Extra padding if he thinks he’s gonna fall off I guess. _

He doesn’t look at all happy about spending the morning with me, either. 

“You’re gonna get pretty hot in that jacket Buck.” I smiled at him. I’m still wearing my work t-shirt from this morning. It was warm enough I didn’t need a jacket. He grumbled something under his breath and stopped a few feet away from us. 

“Okay, well it is your choice. Now,” I said, dropping the reins, “with any horse, you mount on the left. I’ll get on first, so you can see how it’s done, then I can help pull you up as well. You’ll be sittin’ behind me.” 

With that, I hitched up jeans and put my work boot into the stirrup, testing saddles tightness. On the saddle was a small lip I gripped before I pushed off and swung my right leg straight over Margarita's back. She shuffled a bit under my weight and I leaned forward to rub her cheek and calm her down. I also pulled her reins up from the dirt and placed the leather straps onto my lap. 

There was a small round of applause from the porch sitters, which made me blush. I removed my boot from stirrup Bucky would use to haul himself up. 

“You ready Buck?” I turned and put my hand out. It was weird looking down at him from this position. The sun glinted his eyes and made them shine like crystals. 

“This some kind of initiation? Do you put all men through this?” He crossed his arms and didn’t move from his spot. 

“Hmm, I haven’t really ever had any guys around. Ain’t got the time.” I made grabby hands at him. “You’re wastin’ daylight. If you’re coming with me, get on.”

A run of emotions crossed his face. There was fear of the horse, annoyance for said fear, and then stubborn pride settles in his eyes. He doesn’t want the gang to think he’s a chicken. In the back of my mind, I also think he wanted to prove himself to me after the state I caught him and Loki in yesterday. 

He slowly walked up, a determined line set on his face. On the first attempt to get his black biker boot in the stirrup he can’t stretch high enough. This caused everyone to giggle. Bucky hitched his pants up the way he saw me do the first time and got his boot in. Grabbing my arm just below the elbow, he looked up at me. I gave him an encouraging nod and felt his weight pull the saddle when he pushed off ground. Holding tight enough to bruise my arm, he pulled himself up. 

He landed a bit too far back on Margarita, causing her to stomp her front hooves. Bucky scurried to wrap his arms around my waist. I rolled my eyes and wrapped an arm around his back to pull him forward. Even with him plastered to my back, he refused to let up his hold.  _ He’s trying to squeeze the life outta me _ .

“Okay, Buck, loosen up your arms and keep your knees tucked in,” I instructed.

The onlookers watched in awe at us.  _ It’s like they’ve never seen a horse before. City slickers. _

When he’d done what I asked, I made him remove his boot from the stirrup so I could replace it with mine. I pulled on the reins and turned Margarita so she faced the direction we’d be going. I checked my watch, just after 9:30 am. Natasha pulled a bill from out of the front of her shirt and passed it to Steve. 

“Thank you,” He didn’t hide the smug grin on his face.

“We should be back around lunch.” I looked down at them. 

“Buck, you got your phone?” Tony asked. He was really hung up on the phone thing. 

“Ye-” Bucky’s voice cracked. “Yeah.”

“Okay, then. Have fun kids, don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” He smirked. 

I gave them all a wave and started walking Margarita towards the furthest edge of the ranch. She seemed agitated by the pace I had set and threw her head a few times, which caused Bucky to squeeze me tighter each time. Once we were well out of earshot, I turned my head around to look at him. Face pale, eyes shut, and muscle tensed.

“Bucky, really, you can relax. I’ve got everything under control.” I soothed.

“What are you talking about, doll, I am relaxed.” He stammered.

“Your eyes are closed, Buck.”

“Keep your eyes on the road!” He shouted, eyes flying open.

“Margarita's got this,” I turned more into him. “We are gonna head to the edge of the horse pasture to check the fencing there. I haven’t checked there in about a month, but then we can head back okay?” I touched his hand on my stomach. 

He nodded and we continued the slow pace away from the house. It takes us about an hour to make it to the edge of the pasture. The fencing on this side looked pretty good, none of the younger horses had kicked in the posts. I made a mental note that some of the wooden crossbars were starting to rot. I’d have to order more from the farm supply store when I go out to get feed. 

“How ya doing back there?” I asked. Bucky had been silent since our last conversation, but he wasn’t squeezing me to death.

“Fine.” 

“We’ve got about another hour’s way east then we’ll be done checking the fencing. Sorry, this is kinda borin’,” I gave his arm a pat and turned Margarita.

When we reached the furthest part of the fencing, the dirt road was in front of us and the lake to our left. I gave it a once over. The old diving board attached to the dock looks about ready to crumble. The last time I had been out in the water was before Dallas had left and Memaw had given me the afternoon off to relax. I had ridden Margarita bareback all the way here in my excitement and just stripped and ran off the end of the dock. The cool water kept me from realizing the summer sun was burning me. I went back to the house as red as a lobster. Carefree and not a worry in the world. That felt like a completely different reality to what I was living now.

As we turned towards the gate to enter the pasture, I tried to pry myself free from Bucky’s hold. 

“You either let me go or we jump the fence,” I smirked at him. 

He immediately let go and I hopped down. Legs a bit Jell-oy, I shook them out and opened the gate enough to guide Margarita back inside. 

“Are we walking all the way back to the house?” Bucky asked, refusing to look down.

“Nah,” I latched the gate closed and carefully climbed back up. I didn’t miss the little yelp Bucky made when the saddle shifted under my weight. 

“Okay, now, how are you feeling?” I asked him again.

“Fine.” The tight grip around me said otherwise.

“Not scared?” I continued.

“I told you ain’t scared of anything doll.”  _ There we go _ , I thought. 

“And you trust me?” I smiled at him.

“Why you askin’-” 

I pushed my knees into Margarita and flicked the reins, signaling her to go into a full gallop. Bucky’s screams were deafening, and it just made me laugh. Encouraging her confident strides, I flicked the reins again and let out a fierce whistle. Soon we were surrounded by the rest of the herd. At that point, I couldn’t control my laughter anymore. The sight around me was magnificent. The thundering hooves were music to my ears. Their coats glistened in the sun. My heart swelled. Bucky was soon hollering and laughing with me. Our voices being carried by the whipping wind around us. 

We were quickly approaching the entrance to the ranch and I tightened my grip on the reins to slow us down to a canter to round the corner and head for the stables. The herd started to disperse then. Margarita gave a snort and we finally slowed to a walk. Bruce, Steve, and Tony rushed out to meet us at the fence attached to the stable. Margarita walked us to the water trough. 

“Damn, baby girl.” Was all he said. 

I jumped down first and held my hand up to Bucky. A shaking hand met mine and he nearly toppled right on to me. Thankfully, my knees only buckled a bit and I didn’t fall in a pile of horse manure.

I draped his arm around my shoulder and walked to the rest of the guys. Tequila and Whiskey barked and jumped when they saw us. I couldn’t wipe the grin from my face and when I looked at Bucky he grinning too. I didn’t miss Tony passing Bruce a crumpled bill.

_ This must be what happiness really feels like. _


	6. Gut Instinct

After a shower and lunch, Buck limped and I walked to the truck. I wasn’t gonna risk the bike with his wobbly legs. In the barn stood the black 1990 Ford F150 4x4 that’d seen more dirt roads than asphalt. The foot rail on the driver’s side was missing and it could really use a wash. It was a majestic vehicle if you asked me.

The sun faded grey interior smelled of hay, dirt, and an old vanilla air freshener that still hung from the rearview mirror. When I sat down on the bench seat, a small plume of dust escaped and settled on my jeans. The keys gave a nostalgic jingle as I turned the truck on. The engine rumbled to life. I couldn’t tell if I was vibrating with excitement or just from the truck. Bucky looked down at the stick shift.

“You drive stick?”

“Yeah, like all good people do,” I smirked and shifted us into gear. 

===============================

The strip mall Bucky directed us had three storefronts; a nail salon, a Good Will, and a second-hand electronics store. As we walked in a bell made a sci-fi sound and a wave of horrible BO hit me. I grimaced at Bucky. Half the lights were off and only one guy was at the counter. He had greasy looking skin and greasier looking hair. 

“Dude, this place gives me the creeps,” I whispered to Bucky.

“You weren’t scared by a load of dangerous bikers staying in your house. What’s wrong with this place?” 

How do I, a female, explain to him, a male companion, the grotesque feeling of unease that a place like this gives women?

“It's a gut instinct. I was uneasy when I first met you, but this is a different level. It screams incel perviness here,” I murmured.

“It’s not that bad here.” 

“You go look at something then, and I’ll try and get a phone out of him.” I challenged Bucky. I was quickly learning that was the only to prove to him I was right about something. At the counter, the short man turned from his computer when I approached. 

“Hi, I am looking for an unlocked smartphone. Do you have anything like that?” I asked politely before I scanned the case.

“Well, of course, we have that. What kind of shop do you think this is?” He retorted already annoyed with me somehow.

“Sorry,” I cleared my throat. “My old phone is like a brick compared to some of the iPhones I’ve seen around.”

“Ugh, you’re one of those people. We are not an apple store,” He made a nasally sound.

“I just need some advice on what to get. I need something sturdy and that can hold a charge.” I explained.

“Well if that’s all let me just show you none of these phones. What decade do you think it is? Are you here to just waste my time lady?”

“Look, do you have like a Samsung phone I could see?” I asked.

“Samsung phones have an inferior OS and lag. You don’t want that.”

“Okay, what do I want then?” I clenched my teeth.

“How am I supposed to know? I’m not Professor Xavier.”

Bucky got fed up then. He walked up to the counter and slammed his hand down.

“Just show the nice lady decent phone,” he growled.

The grease ball paled and reached under the counter for a basket filled with bagged phones.

“These are the phones we have,” his voice was higher pitched than before. 

I pulled out one phone at a time. Most of them had cracked screens, which shouldn’t have been surprising. Finally, I fished out one that had only a couple of scuffs on the back, the screen in great condition. The label read unlocked, Google Pixel 3A XL. The back was a weird purple color, but oh well, beggars can’t be choosers about that. I was going to cover it in the sturdiest case I could find anyway. 

“This doesn’t have internal issues, does it? It looks really new.” I asked the grease ball.

“No, all phones are tested when they arrive.”

“Great, she’ll take it,” Bucky interjected quickly.

“That’s $400.” 

A small sound rattled in the back of my throat. That was so much money. 

“Here you go grease ball,” he shoved a wad of cash at the guy. “Keep the change and buy some deodorant.”

Back in the truck, I looked over at Bucky and laughed. He wasn’t sharing in my amusement. There was a hard set to his jaw and his brow scrunched together.

“What the fuck kind of interaction was that?” He looked at me.

“Creepy dudes who don’t speak to women. It helped that you look tough.” I started the truck. 

“People don’t speak like that.” He tried to reason.

“Some guys do. You just gotta learn to deal with it, or not go to creepy stores.” It made sense to me.

“You ain’t goin’ anywhere without me again. No one speaks to my girl like that.” 

I just shook my head at him and pulled out the parking lot.

===============================

There was always a horrible smell in the milk section of the Wally World. Like they wanted to keep up a constant smell of off, spilled milk to keep you from buying anything but plant-based drinks. I grabbed a half-gallon of 2%, which seemed like the safest bet. None of them seemed to have allergies, but I hadn’t really asked. Bucky would be the person to ask about that. 

The cart squeaked as I turned it 180 to head for the liquor section, where Bucky had immediately migrated to when he smelled bad milk. He shoved a couple of 24 packs into the undercarriage of the cart the moment he saw me. 

“Do you guys have any allergies?” I asked when he stood up again.

“No, but Steve, Tony, and Bruce try to force us to eat healthy,” Bucky took the cart and started pushing.

“So what? No ice cream, no Doritos?” I leaned over the case of cheese and pulled a block of Colby Jack, aka one of the best cheeses ever. I tossed it and a block of butter in the cart.

“Yeah, don’t even get Tony started on his nasty ass green drinks.”

“What goes into those? We can the stuff for it,” I suggested.

“Fuck if I know. He can get the stuff for it if he wants them. We need to get beef. I wanna grill some burgers.” He turned the cart again.

“Sounds good to me.” I looked over to Bucky.

That was a weird conversation. It just was. I didn’t think of The Avengers as domestic people. Then again, the way they had just settled into the ranch spoke volumes. Bucky seemed completely at ease pushing our grocery cart around talking about grilling and green smoothies. I was noticing smaller details about him as well. The bruises on his face were starting to fade. He had cute like dimples on his cheeks when he grinned at me and the corners of his eyes crinkled up. Looking at him now, dressed in jeans and henley shirt, I would never have thought he was a biker, let alone dangerous. He seemed amazingly, boringly normal. 

“Why do you guys tolerate me?” I asked, selecting flavors of Pop-Tarts for Thor.

“What’d ya mean, doll?”

“Like I get that the ranch is big and has space for ya, but like why is everyone so polite? It’s not like I could really say no,” I picked out some granola bars next.

“Well for one your Dallas’s sister. Stevie boy is big on family. We are each other’s family. You helpin’ us out made you family to him. He’s fuckin’ furious with Dallas.” 

“Why?” I asked as we strolled through the aisles.

“Dallas is the only member who left family to join us. The rest of us had no one.”

I tried to think back to when Dallas left us. How disconnected he had been, it had been like living with a ghost for months. 

“Well, it seems like he’s doing better now, I guess. He doesn’t really seem like my brother anymore, but that feeling was there before he left.”

Buck must catch a hint of sadness in my voice. He stopped the cart and pulled me into a big hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist instantly. There was so much warmth and comfort in his arms. He rubbed his hand across my shoulders and just holds me. 

“You’re a total marshmallow,” I told him when he pulled away. “Now if I were a green smoothie, I’d have spinach right?”

Bucky groaned, but I didn’t miss his small smile.

We finished grocery shopping quickly after that. It was already 3 pm, and I wanted to have supper ready at 6:30 tonight. If I was gonna bag us a turkey for Sunday, I’d have to get up extra early to prepare. Bucky paid for the groceries with another wade of cash. I get annoyed at this. I could pay for things. I had some money. When my pride eventually stepped off its soapbox, nerves jumped right on up to have its says.  _ Where was he getting all this cash? Did I really want to know? _

===============================

I forced a crisp a $20 bill into Bucky’s hand at the gas station. I was paying for something today dang it. The wind wiped the grocery bags in the back of the truck and it brought goosebumps to my arms. Maybe we were in for a cold snap. I watched Bucky stand in front of the cashier from my position leaning against the truck. When I heard the clicking sound of the nozzle unlocking, I pressed the buttons for the cheapest gas and started pumping.

I went back to leaning against the truck. This gas station was just outside of town. We’d be home in 30 minutes tops. Across the street was a cheap motel. We didn’t get many tourists here, so I wasn’t sure how it stayed open. There were certainly nicer places to stay as well. The neon sign flickered no vacancy. 

Two motorcycles rolled into the gas station lot. I didn’t recognize the strange snakes of the back of their leather jackets. They had shock white-blond hair. Both of them had busted up faces as well. Staring was risky, but I couldn’t stop. 

“Hey, doll…” Bucky followed my gaze.

“Get in the truck,” He gripped my arm.

“What?” His attitude shift took me by surprise. 

“Get in the fucking truck and lock the doors,” He gritted his teeth. 

“No, I’m not doing that. We are almost done pumping gas. We are just gonna leave.” I fought back.

Bucky caged me against the truck with his arms. I looked into his eyes. They were dark, full of concern, and barely contained anger. The wheels began to clack as my train of thought put two and two together. The Avengers had gotten into a fight on Tuesday night. It wouldn’t be at all strange for them to get into it with a rival gang. Gossip about the outsiders hadn’t stopped either.

I didn’t give it a second thought. I smacked my hands on either side of his face and kissed him. Shocked was probably the best word to describe his initial reaction to my advances. There was a sharp intake of breath and his body practically seized up. 

The second reaction was extreme enthusiasm. Bucky grabbed my hips and pressed forward against me until I was certain out bodies were becoming one. He quickly took over. Dominating my mouth with his. Every hair on my body came alive. There was a press of a tongue against my lips and I eagerly opened up to him. His lips were slightly chapped, but his tongue was hot and wet. He tasted faintly sweet and spicy, like cinnamon. I pulled him as close as I could. I needed to taste more. 

I whined when he broke the kiss. He pried my hands from his face. I was still a bit too dazed to realize that we needed to leave before the other bikers came out. I clambered up through the passenger side and slide across the bench seat. Key in the ignition, I shifted us into gear and tore away before Bucky had closed the door. 

I took a long, roundabout way back. We weren’t followed. I just needed to burn off the adrenaline from the whole situation. Between the surprise encounter and kiss, I felt like exploding. My white knuckle grip on the steering wheel was an obvious giveaway to my agitation. I slowed the truck to stop a few feet from the gate into the ranch.

“You want a Red Hot?”

“What?” I asked.

“You haven’t said a word since we left the gas station.”

“I just- does that happen to you a lot?”

“Running into rival bikers or being mauled by a pretty cowgirl?” He had a smug look on his face. He was trying to keep me calm. 

“The rival biker gang,” I needed to know.

“It happens sometimes, but those are guys we’ve had lotta problems with. Steppin’ on our territory, fuckin’ up our jobs, shit like that.”

“Can I ask what kinda jobs you do?” My voice was strained and the steering wheel creaked under my grip. 

“It’s mostly mercenary type work, bein’ hired muscle, escortin’ people, makin’ the occasional delivery.”

“So like being contract killers or something?”

“Sometimes.”

_ Fuck. Shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this has taken a while, not totally happy with this chapter. Gas station scene I am happy with it, but that is like it.  
> I'm working on a rough plot for this. I have had a few scenes in mind, but they need to work into the story in a semi sensible way.   
> Thank you for reading! 💙


	7. Like Any Crazy Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- OFC talks about previous sexual harassment and it's a wee bit heavy.

I avoided the Avengers for as long as I could. After I parked the truck in front of the house, I made the excuse of chores needing doing. I didn’t even help unload the groceries. I skipped dinner as well, said I had a headache. I woke up earlier than normal on Saturday, grateful that I’d said I’d make a turkey for Easter lunch. 

When I pulled my compound bow from the trunk in the barn, Tequila and Whiskey began running in circles. They loved going hunting with me. Margarita was saddled up and waiting for me outside. I had decided to take her out to the field instead of driving. One it was quieter, I’d be less likely to wake up my house guests, and two, it was good for her to have a run. I clicked several arrows into place on the quiver mounted to the side of the bow. I gave the bowstring a pull, testing the cams and re-familiarizing myself with the weapon. Turning, still holding the bow taut, I looked through the sight and straight at a shirtless Bucky. 

He threw his hands up in surrender. _Why is he only wearing underwear again?_

“Mornin’ baby girl,” he stepped closer to me when I lowered the bow and released the string. “Didn’t see you there at first in all that camo.”

“Mornin’,” I replied, making a minor adjustment to the idler cam. 

When I was finished, I attached the cross-body sling to bow and pulled it over my head. The bow rested firmly across my back. Comfortable, but not so slack it would slap against my back when riding. I closed the trunk and pulled on my hi-vis baseball cap. 

“I’m sorry I don’t know what to say,” I walked past him and towards Margarita.

“What about, ‘Bucky, be still my beatin’ heart.’” He tried to mimic me and threw his hand over his heart.

I knew he was trying to make me laugh, but I’m still not in the mood for that. I spent nearly all night concerned about the safety of people who were worming their way into my heart. The people who were slowly becoming like family to me. The dangerous biker gang who seemed to care about me for some reason I didn’t know. 

“Bucky,” I breathed, “I know I don’t really know y’all yet, but the thought havin’ to play to nurse for ya again scares me. Your job scares me cause the thought of bein’ all alone again scares me. I’ve spent 5 months tryin’ to learn to be alone, and in less than 5 days y’all’ve ruined it.”

He doesn’t say anything. I can’t blame him, I dropped quite the emotional bomb on him. It was all true though, I was more scared of them leaving me than I was of them staying. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

I mounted up and turned Margarita north. 

“We’ll always come back to ya doll,” Bucky looked up at me. My honesty hurt him, it is written plain as day across his face. 

It’s my turn to try and lighten the mood, I decided, “I bet you say that to all the pretty cowgirls.”

There was a hint of a smirk forming at the corner of his mouth.

“Only you baby girl.”

The look in those blue eyes did be still in my heart then. Bucky moved forward until he was standing right beside us. He craned his neck to maintain our stare. I felt the heat rise on my neck and cheeks at the intensity of it all. 

“I’ll have the coffee waitin’ for you when ya bagged us some lunch.” He gave me his marshmallow smile.

“I’m gonna hold ya to it, Buck.”

===============================

Apparently, butchering a turkey was most the disgusting thing they’d ever seen. One sharp tug and the innards are pulled out to sound Bucky, Tony, and Bruce gagging. It brought me no small amount of joy to know I could make them feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable. It reminded me they were just regular people with feelings. 

I placed the bird on a large chopping and covered it in salt to brine overnight in the fridge. 

“I think I’m owed a cuppa coffee now,” I turned to the sink and washed my hands. 

Bucky poured the steaming liquid into a mug for me. He still wasn’t dressed. We were seemingly all alone in the house. Tony and Steve had scurried off when I was taking care of the turkey and Natasha had all but demanded Bruce take her for a drive. She was restless, sitting around all day. 

“You need your laundry doin’ Buck?” I asked, peering at his chest over the lip of the mug. 

“You gotta problem with the view doll?” He countered with a smirk.

I hummed for a moment, thinking about what he’d said. I most certainly did not have a problem with him wandering in his underwear. Sexual desire is completely healthy, I told myself. Was it safe to place it in Bucky’s hands? I had yet to decide. 

“Go bring your laundry in and I’ll get a load started,” I downed my coffee.

Once I changed out of my hunting clothes and into some basic work clothes, I took my hamper down to the washing machine. Bucky had a small bundle in his hand. It didn’t look like five days worth of clothes. It also did not contain my sleep shirt. 

“Is that all you want washin’? Where is the shirt you took from me?”

“This is it,” he shoved the shirts and underwear into the drum, “And I needed a pillowcase, your shirt just happened to be available.”

“That’s not creepy at all dude.”

“It smelled like you, and you smell nice.” He shrugged and leaned against the machine.

I didn’t say anything else because what could I say? I find that weird and romantic? That you think I smell nice gives me butterflies? Or that I wish you’d let me wear your shirt to bed?

We were doing some kind of dance that I didn’t know the steps to. Especially after I kissed him. Sure it was great, not exactly how I imagined kissing Bucky for the first time. In my mind, it would have been a bit more romantic and less fueled by fear or at a gas station. 

When I’ve set the machine going, I turned to walk down the hall back to the living room. Bucky followed close behind me. 

“I’m gonna bash out some lesson plans for the while, but you can do whatever you want.”

And that whatever was plopping down on the couch and watching me work until the washing machine went off. He’d occasionally play on his phone, but mostly he seemed content to just observe me work at the desk.

Bucky offered to carry the laundry out to the line and I wasn’t gonna argue. We pinned clothes up in companionable silence. 

“Are you always so responsible?” He asked when we were done.

“I wasn’t always like this. After Dallas left, I had a bit of rebellion that I’m sure caused no amount of problems. Memaw didn’t really like me doin’ mornin’ chores still drunk as a skunk, but she’d always have coffee and aspirin waitin’ for me.” I gave him a ruefully smile, “She didn’t discourage me actin’ out. I guess she just thought I needed to get it out of my system.”

“When did your little rebellion end then? Cause I’m findin’ it hard to believe you bein’ anythin’ but a prime and proper cowgirl.” He smirked.

“When my papaw died, I had to move back full time. So I guess then? I was student teachin’ at the time, but she needed me here. Also at the time, I was forced into anger management courses for threatenin’ a professor at my school who said they would fail me if I skipped the final exam. We were plannin’ a funeral for Pete’s sake, but he wasn’t cuttin’ me any slack. So I keyed his van and threatened to key him if tried to fail me. I still graduated the next month, but I was in that course for 6 months.” I explained, embarrassed.

“Shit doll.” 

“I was lucky, I could have gone to jail for that. The school just took pity on me.” 

“I think I’d’a had fun with rebel you,” Bucky nudged me with his elbow.

“You sayin’ I ain’t fun?” I quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Yes. You are so wholesome, doll. Like a pretty church-goin’ southern belle.” He laughed.

“I’ll make ya a deal then Buck. Come Friday night, if everythin’ on that list gets done, we’ll go to one of my old rebel haunts.” I put my hands on my hips.

“You sound like an old man.” He dropped the empty laundry basket on the supper table and whipped out his phone. 

“What are you doin’,” I peered over his shoulder. 

“Hey, when you get your new phone you can be a part of the group chat. Until then, hickity heck off Little Miss Rebel.” He blocked my view of the phone by shoving my face away with his free hand. 

===============================

I sat down in front of the vanity. My faded Easter dress hung loosely around my shoulders. _Had I lost that much weight?_ _Do all of my clothes look like this? Why did I even agree to go to church today?_ Oh yeah, cause when I clammed up at dinner about it, Steve and Bucky had offered to escort me so I could there for my papaw’s service. Steve was so insistent that I should go, that he helped with chores this morning. He was waiting for me out on the porch all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 

I braided my damp hair carefully into a crown around my head before I secured it with Memaw’s flower pins. My soft cotton dress had flowers on it, therefore they matched. It also helped that it felt like I was taking a piece of her me. They had been a wedding gift from Papaw. They were priceless. 

I sighed at my reflection on last time. It was now or never. I slipped a thin cardigan on over my bare shoulders and walked down the stairs. It was 6:30 am. In the kitchen, Tony was staring blankly into the coffee pot, lost in his own thoughts. I heard the shower down the hall go off. Steve must have woken him up after morning chores. 

“Mornin’ Tony,” I murmured, grabbing a mug from the cabinet. 

“Morning, kid,” he mumbled before shuffling over to my desk, “Your phone is ready by the way.” 

“Do you need to show me anything on it?” I stared at the device in his hand.

“Coffee first,” He hummed.

I poured two cups and set a mug in front of him while he opened the phone. I patiently waited for him. Tony looked at the steaming beverage and smiled. He saw the simple pleasure in coffee that I did. 

“Okay, so for basic security, I have installed a custom OS. It looks nearly the same as any other android device, but with the benefit that it doesn’t feed information back to your provider or the government. It will bounce from different towers regularly to keep from being triangulated. It will VPN into a different server somewhere in North America anytime you use the 4G on it. The SIM card is pay as you go, but it’s got like $200 on it so you should be fine for this month. It doesn’t have an accurate location service on, so you can’t use it if you get lost. Use this app to send messages to us. It’s end to end encrypted. There is an SOS app in case you are ever in deep shit and there is a kill switch, which will delete any data on your phone, then throw the phone into a never-ending boot loop. The one rule with the phone is no social media,” Tony explained and thumbed over the different apps.

“So basically, you’ve created your own phone system and security? How long does that take?” I stared at him, wide-eyed. 

“Finally someone appreciates my genius. It takes like an hour to install but to rewrite all the code and test it took a few days.” 

“That is freakin’ epic,” I side hugged Tony. “Thank you.”

My new phone began to go off. I looked at Tony, suddenly unsure of what to do. He waved the phone at me.

“Welcome to hell, kid.” He smirked

I opened the app he showed me to use for messaging. The message had come through from a group chat called “Da Family”. 

**_Loki-_ ** _who the fuck is the new person??? did i miss another initiation?_

 **_Sam-_ ** _you wouldn’t have missed my initiation if hadn’t stabbed a guy_

 **_Loki-_ ** _the guy totally got what was coming to him_

 **_Clint-_ ** _you literally threaten to stab everyone dude_

 **_Rhodey-_ ** _@Steve, the job is done and we are getting ready to come back._

 **_Thor-_ ** _Fury was a delight to work with as always_ 🙃

 **_Dallas-_ ** _I hate this stupid shirt. Why do we only have one?_

 **_Nat-_ ** _because you are the only one who has to wear it. now fuck off. i’m trying to sleep._

My eye flicked from the phone to Tony, who just smirked at me. The coffee was cool enough now for me to take a hearty slurp from while I searched for the dogs. Whiskey was curled up on the porch swing with Tequila resting his head on the back of the darker haired dog. _My precious babies._ I snapped a quick picture.

**_You-_ ** _The puppers miss you guys! Drive safe._ 🤗

_[Image attached]_

**_Sam-_ ** _So wholesome_

 **_Loki-_ ** _actual hellhounds_

 **_Thor-_ ** _I miss them too_

 **_Dallas-_ ** _how did you get in quicker than I did?_

 **_Bucky-_ ** _you didn’t do this_

_[Image Attached]_

Bucky sent them a picture of me, slightly covered in turkey blood, lopping off the head of the bird. I had a smirk on my face and the dogs were drooling on either side of me. 

**_Rhodey-_ ** _IT IS THE MORNING DUDE._

 **_Sam-_ ** _so she is a fucking butcher_

 **_Tony-_ ** _you didn’t watch her yank its guts out_ 🤢

 **_Loki-_ ** _new contact photo_ 🔪🔪🔪

 **_Thor-_ ** _why are you killing the bird by beheading it?_

 **_You-_ ** _I shot it is with an arrow first. It was already dead then._

 **_Clint-_ ** _You hunt with a bow?_ 😍

Thanks to their messages, I was reminded to get the turkey out of the fridge. I had weighed it yesterday and guessed it would take about 4 hours to cook. 

**_You-_ ** _Yes. What time will you be home? I’m trying to do Turkey math._

 **_Rhodey-_ ** _We should be back by noon Miss Luna._

 **_You-_ ** _Perfect, thank you Rhodey :)_

Next to the turkey, I left handwritten instructions for Tony, Bruce, and Nat on how to prep the bird. They needed to chop lemons, onions, and garlic, squeeze the lemon juice onto the skin, and then stuff it all in the bird. Then rub butter and herbs over the skin and tent it with foil before putting it in the oven. We’d be home from church before they would need to remove the foil.

Steve strolled into the kitchen then, dressed black jeans and a sharp navy button-down. He leaned over and kissed Tony’s temple. They were so cute. I sighed before I finished my coffee. Church shoes needed to be hunted down. Normally, I’d just wear the boots I’d wear to school, but it’s Easter. That meant pulling out the semi uncomfortable wedge sandals that I only wore for weddings, or well, Easter. The heel wasn’t too high and white straps were only a little frayed. I fastened each sandal around my ankle then stood up. 

Finally, with 10 minutes to spare, Bucky came into the houses. I bit my lip at the sight of him. Like Steve, he wore black jeans. He had tried to get away with wearing just a t-shirt, but I was having none of that. I rummaged through the closet in Steve and Tony’s room until I found one of Dallas’s old shirts. The black pearl snap was a snug fit, showing off his broad shoulders and muscular torso. Bucky had also pulled his hair back into a small bun, but he hadn’t shaved. In that outfit, he reminded me of Johnny Cash and I wished to be his June. 

He let out a low whistle, slow looking me up and down. I felt the blush rise on my cheeks. Bucky smirked.

“Family photo time,” Tony sang.

“What?” I stared at him

“I’ve never seen Buck so dressed up. It must be documented,” he reasoned.

So one awkward photoshoot later and me whispering to Tony to send me the picture of just Bucky and me, we were headed off for the truck. I had unlocked the gate while doing chores this morning, so we could get out easy and so the other guys could just ride on up. It was agreed that I’d sit in the middle seat as the smallest. Though I wasn’t happy about not driving, it meant I was pressed right up against Bucky in the passenger seat. 

The gravel parking lot for the church was nearly full when we got there. Ladies dressed in flowy spring dresses and men dressed in starch stiff shirts were filling into the white clapboard building. Standing just outside the main entrance was Rev. Laramie dressed in his fine purple Easter robes. 

“So happy to have you back,” he clasped my hands together with his and gave them a firm shake. “And you brought some new members to flock,” He grinned.

“Uh, yeah Reverend, these are two of new farmhands I’ve got at the ranch.”

“Steven,” he shook hands.

“James,” I gave Bucky a side-eyed glance at that. 

“Good strong Christian names,” Rev. Laramie smiled at them before turning to the next people to greet. 

We were ushered quickly into a pew with just enough space for the three of us. I made whispered small talk with an elderly couple that Memaw and Papaw had been close with while Bucky and Steve people watched. When the bells finally rang at 8 am, signaling the start of the service, I leaned back into the pew. 

“Make sure your phones are off,” I whispered to both of them before giving my full attention to the readings. 

It was easy to fall back into the habits of mindlessly listening and following ques and reciting prayers where required. I felt my thoughts wander, I didn’t really miss being here. The practice of church was more a chore than anything else. When I wanted to pray, I would, and when I didn’t, I felt no guilt or regret. I’d enjoyed not listening to stories of hellfire and brimstone these past few months. 

When it came time to offer peace to the other people in attendance, I finally spotted him. Mr. Stewart was dressed like he would for school. He made his way across the aisle to our pew. 

“Peace be with you,” he stuck out his hand. “Glad to see ya here again darlin’.”

I tried to control my face and gave his hand a weak shake, “Peace be with you.”

“Peace be with you,” Bucky all but growled before grabbing the other man’s hand and squeezed until he heard a knuckle pop.

Steve did the same thing, but grinned extra wide and innocently. I watched Mr. Stewart briefly wiggle and stretch out his fingers while he scuttled back to his seat. Once we were seated again, I placed arm through Bucky’s and leaned against his shoulder. For the rest of the service, I zoned out. I couldn’t even recall seeing the collection plate being passed around. My thoughts were completely consumed by the warmth radiating off Bucky. 

Finally, it was the very end of the service. The reverend gave a blessing for my Papaw and the congregation said a prayer for his soul. With a final wish of a Happy Easter, we were released back into the wild. It felt like being dismissed from school. Everyone would huddle at the back of the church or in the parking lot. Talking about everything and nothing that had happened the previous week. 

I tossed a look at Bucky, “I’ll meet you guys out at the truck.”

I headed down the small hallway to the bathroom without giving them a second glance. The thought of getting caught up in conversation with the gossiping hens of the flock made me wish I’d skipped it completely. God, who knows what they are talking about already. I’m sure their just loud enough hushed tones would be easily heard by others. That if I went out now, I’d hear them chatting about the fact that I came Easter service with two burly looking men with bruised faces. That I was a loose woman living out at the ranch with a group of farmhands. That is was odd I had even hired hand this year since I _rented_ out my land this year. 

I splashed my face with some cold water and practiced my happy, carefree face in the mirror. Content it would stay in place until we were out of the parking lot, I slapped my cheeks to give them some color and left the bathroom for the front doors. 

Mr. Stewart lurked next to the door. I turned instantly on my feet and started walking towards the votive candles. Why don’t I light a couple of candles for my family and wait for him to go? He was probably waiting for someone else. I distracted myself with a final prayer. Bucky and Steve would have been waiting for at least 15 minutes now. Bucky’d either storm in or I had to leave. _Avoid making a scene. Avoid making a scene. Avoid making a scene._

Mr. Stewart decided I was taking too long. His humid hand landed on my shoulder, holding me down in my kneeled position. 

“I asked you to leave alone Mr. Stewart.” I grit my teeth and refused to look at him. 

“Naw, c’mon little Miss Cowgirl. You don’t mean that.” He squeezed my shoulder.

“Leave me alone.” I smacked his hand, but he didn’t budge. 

“Now, I heard a rumor that you were shackin’ up with quite a few men over at the ranch. Why is that?” His hand slides around to the back of my neck. 

“What I do on my land is my business. Get your hand off me.” I sneered.

“And if I don’t? What are you gonna do darlin’?” He sounded arrogantly pleased with himself.

I punched him in the crotch. There was clearly no other way out of this situation. He howled and I ran. Well, ran as well as I could in these stupid shoes. I made it out the door, and down the steps, before he grabbed my arm and yanked. I stumbled backward, my ankle catching the ledge. His grip on my arm would definitely leave a bruise. The lot is empty except for the truck and a couple of other cars. No one was meandering about near us. I turned to glare at him. He had a scowl dark enough to scare the shit out of me. My body froze up. I didn’t know what to do. 

But Bucky did. There was a flash of black at the edge of my vision. One moment I was frozen on my feet, the next I was trembling behind a wall of black cotton. 

“Who the-,” The sound of flesh meeting flesh permeated the air. Mr. Stewart crumpled onto the steps. 

“If you fucking touch my girl again, I’ll make you wish you were dead.” Bucky seethed. 

A hand crept into my view behind Bucky. Even as the stubby fingers made my skin crawl, I summoned up any amount of courage I had. We needed to leave. I grabbed Bucky’s hand and tried to pull him away from the scene. 

“Let’s go,” I whispered. “Please.”

We walked back to the truck. Bucky’s hand was my lifeline. I was so worried if I let go, he’d run off. He helped me get into the truck. The whole way home I stared at the clock. The digital numbers flicked 9:45, 9:46, 9:47. My gaze never left the red lines and my hand never left his. The drive back to the ranch was silent.

Steve slowed the truck into the ranch drive and parked next to the house. 10:07. He turned off the ignition and took the keys with him when he left. 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, 10:12.

“What?” Bucky shouted.

“I-I-I’m sorry you had to do that and that I just stood there like an idiot,” I held in the tears, 10:14.

“What are you talking about doll?” He lowered his voice.

“I normally just avoid Mr. Stewart. He says his stupid, disgusting things to me and leaves. It got out of hand in church. He wouldn’t let me leave, so I punched him and-and-and,” my breath hitched in my throat, 10:18.

“How long has that fuckface been bothering you?” Bucky’s voice took tone I hadn’t heard before. He genuinely sounded dangerous.

“Since the funeral. I thought he was just bein’ nice to me at the start of the school year. I was new, it was my first job. But then he grabbed my butt, just right there in front of the fucking open casket. I told him I wasn’t interested, but he just kept making comments. At the midnight Christmas service, he tried to slide his hand up my skirt, just in front of everyone. Like it’s a candlelight service, but people could see. I had to stop going, but that didn’t stop people from talking.” The words are tumbling out of my mouth. I had no control over them anymore. 

“I avoided him at school, but the day you picked me he cornered me at lunch. Kept asking me for ‘ridin’ lessons’. I thought I had been firm enough with him then. And I figured he wouldn’t bother me with you and Steve around, but I think he just took your handshake as a challenge cause he was waiting for me at the door. I-I assumed he’d leave if I just did something else, so I lit some candles for my papaw and memaw and for you guys and I was kneeling to pray and he forced me to stay like that. His sweaty hand wrapped around my neck. He said he heard a rumor. A rumor that I was whorin’ around and I just punched in the crotch and Jesus Christ he was hard. He was enjoying what he was doing to me.” My lips trembled, 10:24.

“What do you want me to do doll?” Bucky’s voice was still low and dangerous.

“Please just-just don’t think I wanted that. I fucking hate him.” I clenched my jaw,10:27.

“Look at me, doll,” he whispered. 

The thought of taking my eyes off the digital numbers in front of me was terrifying. I didn’t want to see the disgust and pity in his eyes. Christ, I couldn’t catch a break. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“Look at me, baby girl,” he commanded. 

My eyes stung with unshed tears but I looked at him. And christ there were tears in his eyes too. They were like a sky just waiting to rain, cloudy and ready to burst. I couldn’t hold my tears any longer. I still had one clamped to his, but I brought the other one his face. I wiped the tear off his cheek.

Bucky opened the truck door. I started to panic, I pulled at our joined hands. _Don’t leave me._

“C’mere baby girl,” he whispered before he pulled me onto his lap. “I told ya, you’re my girl and I take care of what’s mine. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

He wrapped his arms around me. There was that comfort, the warmth that I’d almost forgot what it felt like. The strength of another person that I missed so dearly. I felt him kiss my forehead and sighed at the relief flooding through me. 

_He still cares._

===============================

Composed once again, I slipped an apron on over my church clothes and began prepping for Easter lunch. I had the menu for the day nearly memorized. It would be just like it used to be when Dallas and I were kids. I made deviled eggs, a vegetable tray, and little Jell-O squares for snacking beforehand. I peeled potatoes for mash and prepped the little smokies to be thrown into the crockpot of BBQ sauce. 

I was just coming back inside from cellar, laden with wine, when I heard the engines rumble into the ranch. _Finally, they’re home,_ I thought. I placed the bottles onto the supper table and looked at the crew lounging in the living room. When we had come into the house, it had been tense. I shoed them all out of the kitchen and threw myself into making lunch. Tony, Bruce, and Nat had dressed up too so we’d all look nice for Easter lunch. Secretly, I thought Tony just wanted a reason to force everyone to look nice for pictures. 

The sound of boots being dropped on the porch reminded me I needed to set out the snacking goodies before I went back to cooking. Just as I was removing the foil tent from the turkey, I felt eyes on me. I turned to see several drooling mouths.

“Holy shit does it smell good in here,” Clint grinned. 

“Wash on up y’all, there are snacks on the table if you are hungry.” I beamed at them before heaving the turkey back into the oven.

I set a timer for 30 minutes and started chopping the potatoes into a decent boiling size. I’m mid-cut when Steve walked over the table and began to speak.

“So Dallas, do you know a Martin Stewart?”

The knife comes down onto the chopping board hard.

“He rings bells, a couple of years older than me. A fucking creep in high school. Why?” Dallas picked up a deviled egg and popped it into his mouth. 

“He needs takin’ out.” Steve doesn’t make eye contact with me.

“Sure, what’d he do?” Dallas was just as ready to kill as he was to take the dogs outside.

“Steven Grant Rogers,” my heavy-handed knife skills had finally gotten their attention. Or maybe it was my use of his full name.

“If I want a man taken out, I will let you know. Now is it not the time. We are getting ready to have lunch.” I smiled as brightly as possible, but I was still holding a death grip around the knife.

“She used your government, Cap,” Natasha smirked at him.

“Your middle name is Grant?” Loki sniggered.

“Why does Stewart need takin’ out Cap?” Dallas asked again, completely ignoring me.

“Oh Dallas, I think you’re gonna be wearing that shirt for a while longer.” Bucky clapped him hard on the back. 

“Like fuck,” he coughed.

“James Buchanan Barnes, stop trying to start something.” I began dumping chopped spuds into the stockpot. 

“Shit, she used your government too,” Natasha outright laughed.

“Where did she even learn their full names?” I heard Sam whisper.

“It ain’t me that started it, doll. It was Stewart. I ain’t lettin’ it go,” Bucky scowled at me. 

I set the pot in the sink and turned on the cold water. Deep breath in, deep breath out. 

“I ain’t askin’ ya to let it go Buck. I don’t want to talk about it,” I stared pointedly at him. “Or have it talked about like I ain’t here.”

“Dallas get outta that shirt. I’m sure Tony’ll wanna take some pictures and you aren’t going to ruin them.” I turned off the tap. “Someone with muscles please put this on the stove for me.”

Thor was the only person apparently brave enough to walk fully into the kitchen. He lifted it like it was nothing and set it on the burner I pointed at.

“Thank you, Thor,” I smiled at him.

“You are most welcome,” he smiled back.

I turned the burner on and checked the timer. 10 minutes until the turkey needed taking out of the oven to rest. Plenty of time.

“Can someone please set the table with the nice plates?” I asked.

“Sure thing,” Clint offered.

“You two,” I pointed at Bucky and Steve. “Outside. Now.”

“Oh, we are gonna need two more punishment shirts,” Dallas teased.

“Dallas, I swear to the lord above if you do not change out that shirt, I will make you eat with the dogs.” I scowled at him before I ripped the back door open.

I stepped out into the sun and a pleasant breeze ruffled my dress. Both Steve and Bucky had the gall to look angry with me when I turned to face them. I took a practiced breath before I spoke to them.

“I appreciate that you wantin' to seek vengeance for me.” I started. “But now is not the time to discuss it and it isn’t just yours to exact.”

“It feels like as good a time as any to me,” Steve responded. “What do you think Bucky?”

“I’d have to agree with you on that one Stevie boy,” Bucky crossed his arms. 

Both men scowled at me.

“You listen here. When I am fucking ready to tell them what happened, I will. When I am fucking ready, I will tell you what I want to happen to that fucking pervert. When I am fucking ready, I will make him feel how he has made me feel for months. WHEN I AM FUCKING READY.” I seethed at them, “Do I make myself clear?”

“Oh yeah, and when will that be? Cause I am not going to allow that pathetic excuse of man think he can get away with just a punch in the face.” Steve crossed his arms.

“That sack of shit has been bothering you for months, doll, and you ain’t done shit.” Bucky glared at me.

“You’re damn fucking right! People know him and they know me. They're gonna notice if he goes missin’.” I threw my hands up. “I want to get him when he least fucking expects and I want him shit himself in fear. I want to shove rusty nails into his fucking dick and watch it rot off. Do you think I am not furious at him? Do you think I want that wretched man just out and about? I want fucking details. I am not going to let him hurt someone else and I most certainly am not going to let you put yourself at fucking risk. I may be a fucking chicken, but I ain’t gonna let you do this for me.”

“Family protects family,” Steve growled.

“You better fuckin’ believe it, Captain. I am protecting you two dumb fucks from doing somethin’ that could us all in trouble.” I waved my arms towards the house full of onlookers. “Mr. Stewart will get what is coming to him. But it is fuckin’ Easter and we are gonna go in there and pretend nothin’ is fuckin’ wrong.”

Just then, Tony peeked his head out of the back door. 

“Hello, my beautiful, innocent, sunshine child. Your timer is going off.” 

“I’ll be right in Tony, thank you,” I called out, but didn’t look at him. 

When I heard the door shut, I spoke again to Steve and Bucky.

“If I even hear a whisper of either of you planning something without me, I will find something worse than the punishment shirt for you to wear.” I slapped a big ole grin on my face and briskly walked back into the house. 

“It isn’t Easter lunch without someone getting yelled at.” Dallas poked my side before he helped me lift the turkey. 

_Yeah, like any crazy family, we’ll fight sometimes._


	8. Welcome To The Jungle

**~Monday 4:30 am~**

The faintest wisp of morning mist coated the dirt path and grass around the illuminated porch. I sat in my chair, shaking my leg, waiting for the Avengers to start our first day of training. Steve sat with a dozing Tony on the porch swing, while Natasha sat in the chair to my right. Bruce was leaning against the railing, rubbing his eyes.

I waited another 15 minutes before I looked at Steve. He was still upset with me, but the promise I made of getting my own justice settled his fury some. Bucky was still fuming even when I sent the boys off to bed last night.

“I’m gonna go wake ‘em up,” I spoke to no one in particular as I rose from my chair. 

“I need to see this,” Natasha was nearly as awake as I was. The thought of getting to do anything was fueling her.

Bruce shook his head and offered his hand to help her up. I knew Natasha was only taking it easy for Bruce’s sake. If she got her way, she’d probably be limping around the ranch like nothing was wrong and showing up all the guys.

At the farmhands’ house, there were no lights on. They weren’t even awake yet. I looked around, how could I wake them up? Leaning against the wall next to the door is a broom, but that wasn’t the most effective. Instead, I just crept into the building. We called it a house, but it was more of a strange army barracks. There were two rows of 5 beds, and all the way at the end was a kitchenette and the bathrooms. I grabbed a wooden spoon and frying pan. 

“Let’s go sleepy heads. Go. Go. Go!” I shouted and panged the pan.

I expected loud groans and a couple of fuck offs for waking up the men. Maybe even some threats of violence. What I got was so much better. It was like I’d screamed fire. All six of them, in varying degrees of undress, bolted for the door. I heard screaming and laughing coming from outside. I leaned against the door jam as Natasha videoed the guys. 

I did not need to learn that Loki and Sam slept naked, but I did. 

Bucky turned back to the door with a fed-up expression on his face, probably to go back to sleep. Then he noticed me standing in the doorway, fully dressed. He crowded against me when I didn’t move away for him to pass by.

“I’m gonna choose to believe this wasn’t your idea baby girl and I’m gonna invite you to sleep with me until at least the sunrise.” He sleepily grumbled, pressing the side of his face against mine. His long brown hair tickled my nose. 

“Mmm, that sounds really nice Buck,” I whispered into his ear. “I’ve thought about you, pressed against me, all hot and bothered.”

Bucky groaned and pressed his body full against mine. I still didn’t move, sleepy Bucky was easy to play. I ran my hand up his left bicep, slowly tracing over the scarring and tattoo.

“But if you don’t get dressed to work, you’ll never get to see my fun side.” For extra measure, I squeezed his arm and ran my nose along his jawline. 

“You’re a fuckin’ tease, doll,” he groaned.

“Only for you Buck-o. Now get in here and get dressed. You’re late.” My tone shifted instantly into my teacher’s voice. I ducked around Bucky and avoided looking at Sam and Loki.

“Let’s go boys. Unless you wanna work in your undies.” I shouted while making my way back to the porch. 

Okay, maybe I took teasing Bucky a little too far. God, it had been so easy though and so satisfying. What I said to him was completely true, I wanted him to know that I’d thought about him, a lot. In the day, in the dark, in my bedroom, in the shower... well that was about as adventurous as I got with it. My experience was pretty limited to just second base, but I had read a few of the romance novels Memaw had left around the house. The vague understanding I had of seduction was pretty limited to 15th century Vikings and wild west cowboys, but I could adapt that. I was ready… mostly.

A part of me, the anxious side of me, was worried about what would happen afterward. Bucky and I weren’t dating, were we? He called me his girl, which sent a very lusty thrill through me. But it all felt very strange and not like any silly country love song. And life isn’t like a romance novel. I knew that for sure. 

Friday was going to be the deciding factor. Until then, I needed to focus on getting that list done. Work doesn’t stop and neither would I.

===============================

Chores took twice as long as normal. Dallas was absolutely no help at all. It was like he’d forgotten everything he learned growing up. I should have prepared a lesson plan, homework, and a final. The teacher part of me had thought about it briefly as a joke, but now I was seriously considering it. For a group of grown men, they complained so much. Natasha seemed mostly fine with things, but it was clear she’d rather be stabbed again than do morning chores. 

While everyone was eating breakfast, I pulled out the property survey that I ‘had’ to have done when Memaw died. Money grabbing lawyers more like it. I laid the detailed satellite image out when the table was clear and pointed out the boundary lines, buildings, and different points of interest.

“You own all this?” Clint asked when I was finished. 

“Yeah. It’s been in our family for generations.” I explained

“What’s this dark spot?” Loki pointed.

“Swimming hole. It needs to be tested by the health department before any swimming actually happens.” I said.

“And this patch here is where the garden is? That’s massive. How were you planning on doing that by yourself?” Rhodey asked.

“Yeah, I did.” I simply stated. 

“You are fucking crazy.” Sam huffed. 

“And where will we be going on Friday night when we finish your list?” Loki had his eyes on the prize.

“The County Line, it’s a bar. It’s about a 20 minutes drive away.”

“The bingo hall?” Dallas looked skeptical.

“My dear stupid brother, it is so much more than that.” I laughed. 

“And how the fuck would you know?” 

“I was 21 for about 4 years.” I rolled up the survey, they were done asking me actual questions.

“I’m sorry?” Dallas asked first

“Excuse you?” Clint sounded confused.

“What the hell?” Bucky whispered.

“I’m so proud of my baby.” Tony’s eyes gleamed with mischief.

“Had my actual 21st there, they were very accepting.” I grinned, putting the survey back, before heading for the coffee pot.

“Memaw was more than happy to learn where I’d been running off to when I was home from school. I’d say she had more fun than I did.” I smiled, a hazy memory of Memaw on a stage dancing to some song I couldn’t remember surfacing. That had been a good night. One of the last we’d had. 

“It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.” Dallas shook his head.

“That’s cause you don’t dumbshit.” Natasha smacked him.

**~Tuesday 9:42 am~**

There was a heated argument happening between Bucky, Loki, and Sam. As a group, we had decided on what was going to be planted in the garden this year. There were the staples; strawberries, corn, green beans, tomatoes, peanuts, and chili peppers. We all watched in different states of shock and awe as they began to shout at one another.

“Fuck your stupid carrots, Barnes,” Loki shouted

“Like BROCCOLI is even a good vegetable,” Bucky retorted.

“You’re both missing the point. We are getting zucchini,” Sam stated like it was written in stone. 

I leaned over to Natasha, who I had already promised would get to come with me to the farm supply store. 

“Let’s go to the truck now, and whoever realizes we have left first, get’s to come along,” I whispered, trying to hide my smirk. They were being ridiculous. We could easily plant all those vegetables.

“I’ll go first, you follow in 2 minutes,” She spoke in a hushed tone, before slipping out of the kitchen. 

I already had the keys in my pocket, assuming it would be an easy discussion about what to grow this year. Boy was I wrong. Marijuana had been the first suggestion, but one icy glare at Clint got him to back off that topic real quick. Tony had requested some leafy greens, which I had a hot box for already, so that made it on the list to a chorus of groans. Thor wanted watermelon, he was particularly fond of that wine. Peaches and blackberries were a given because their groves were already planted and had started to blossom. Bruce had suggested some squash, and they were easy enough to manage so I put that on the list as well.

Halfway to the truck, I heard the sound of the door slamming and shouting. 

“Don’t fucking throw my boot,” Sam screamed.

“You little bitch.” Loki shouted back.

“Doll, don’t run away,” Bucky yelled when he noticed I had started racing to the truck. 

I flung open the driver's side door. Natasha was watching them struggle with glee from where she sat in the passenger seat. I put the key in the ignition and truck roared to life. 

“We could just go without them,” Natasha proposed. 

“Mmm, not sure Buck would forgive me for that,” I giggled. 

“Please, that man is wrapped around your finger. You could ask him to eat dirt and he’d do it.” Natasha leveled an earnest look at me.

“Yeah, right,” I continued to watch the boys. Boots were still being thrown around, which only made Tequila and Whiskey agitated. 

I cranked the window down and let out a shrill whistle.

“The dogs are coming with us,” I told her, hopping out of the truck to lower the tailgate for them. 

That got everyone’s attention. My goodest boys bolted for the truck. They knew what to do. However, the man-children just looked confused. 

“Only one a ya gets to come along. Hurry it up!” I hollered, before closing the tailgate.

“And I’m not sitting bitch!” Natasha shouted through the window.

===============================

When Bucky did not end up being the first person to the truck, and Loki’s delirious victory giggles echoed around the ranch, I had to promise him I’d buy carrot seeds and that I’d take him on the next trip off the ranch. He had a kicked puppy look on his face. As if he didn’t have his bike. He could have followed us to the store if he wanted to. I even suggested this, but he just huffed like I was doing him some kind of great injustice. I rolled my eyes at him before I kissed him. It was quick, chaste even, but he still had a dumb marshmallow grin on his face and it made me blush. The wolf whistle from Natasha didn’t help. 

Tequila and Whiskey dragged Loki through the aisles of the farm supply store. It had been a long while since I’d taken them anywhere. Both dogs had barked when we pulled into the parking lot and they were still barking in the store. Loki had no control over the pair.

“Okay, so we’ve got the seeds we need. What else?” Natasha asked, pushing the large cart to give her some support for her leg. It had starter plants and more packets of seeds than we probably needed for the garden.

“Still need to get feed, so let's head that’a way.” I pointed to our left.

We chatted about nothing until I found what we needed. I hauled a 50lb bag of egg layer pellets into the cart. A very loud, aggressive cough came from behind me. Immediately, I straightened up. Natasha frowned and gripped the cart.

“What'd'a ya want Stewart?” I didn’t need to turn around to know it was him. 

“We need to finish our conversation from Sunday.” He sounded mildly annoyed. 

“How’d you get that black eye?” Natasha stared him down.

“Some thug.” Mr. Stewart ground out.

I turned around then to glare at him, “Watch it, Stewart. I have nothin’ to fuckin’ say to ya. Get outta our way.”

There was a distinct click sound from Natasha.  _ Christ, why did she have a knife on her? I don’t need her starting a fight. _ The dogs rounded the corner with Loki, two large bones tucked under his arm. 

“There you guys are.” Loki looked at our scowls and then to Stewart. “I’d recommend walking away.” His voice was low and menacing.

“We aren’t done talkin’ sweetheart,” Stewart left the store. He didn’t even buy anything. Creep.

I grabbed a 50lb bag of high fiber horse pellets from a high shelf. Loki helped me stack it in the cart next to the chicken feed. I moved on down the alley and added a bag of cat food to the cart as well. 

“What was that guy's problem?” Loki finally asked.

“Just some guy I work with. He’s a jerk.” I stated, a hard edge to my voice.

“Do you want me to stab him?” Loki suggested with a bit too much cheer. 

“No, Loki, no stabbing necessary.” I smiled. 

It was the thought that counted right?

===============================

Natasha told Steve right away. The moment we got back to the ranch, I saw her pull Steve away from the air conditioner that Tony and Bruce were leaning over. Thankfully Bucky wasn’t with them. I let the dogs out of the back truck and tossed one of the bones across the yard for them. Loki then helped me carry the bags of feed into the barn. 

Which is where Bucky was hiding out, playing with the white kitten. 

“Ranch life has softened you Sarg.” Loki laughed at him. 

“Like you haven’t been playing with that chubby one every chance you got.” Bucky countered, not looking up from the kitty.

“Loki, you can drop the cat food there,” I said before walking past both of them to set the horse feed in the empty stall.

“Also, I’m training Alpine to be a vicious killer. Look at this scratch she gave me?” Bucky was talking to Loki.

“Bucky, there is nothing there.”

“You just wait, soon she’ll be going on missions, kicking ass,” he reasoned. 

“You are literally insane,” Loki sighed. 

I smiled at the silly conversation they were having. Bucky was so soft and sweet, just like a marshmallow. I pulled my phone out my back pocket and snapped a sneaky picture of Bucky speaking to the kitten. How a big, hairy, _handsome_ biker like him could be so adorable was beyond me. 

“Did I hear that you have broken the grand tradition of naming your animals after drinks?” I asked, walking back to them.

“Alpine is a great name, doll. I may even like this cat more than all of ya.” Bucky smirked, letting the kitten wiggle free.

“Yeah, well we got more work to do today, so let’s get going,” I told them. 

As we walked to the grain building, I didn’t miss the look Steve shot me. I smiled innocently like I didn’t know Natasha had essentially snitched on me.  _ Whatever happened to snitches get stitches? Was that even a thing? _

I pulled out a stack of old germination trays and passed them to Bucky. Loki had mysteriously disappeared when I explained what we’d need to do with some of the seeds. He didn’t want to get his hands dirty. I set up stations on the table under the one window in the building. 

“You okay baby girl?” Bucky continued to fill trays with potting soil.

“Promise you ain’t gonna get mad?” I asked.

“No.”

I groaned before answering. Why was telling the truth so difficult? Steve would tell Bucky sooner or later, but he was clearly giving me time to tell him first. 

“Stewart tried to bother me at the store. Natasha was with me, and Loki was also able to get him to leave before anything got too serious.” I rushed the words out, angry with myself and the whole situation.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Bucky spoke through clenched teeth, slamming the trowel in his hand on the table.

“No.” I looked at him, “We talked about this.”

“You ain’t goin’ anywhere alone then,” he stared back at me. 

“Fine,” I conceded. “You really hit him hard by the way. His whole stupid face was bruised.”

“Good, that fucker deserved it.”

**~Wednesday 2:15 pm~**

The wind whipped the fabric of my jeans and I squeezed Bucky. We were supposed to be running errands in town. Tony and Bruce had figured out how to fix the air conditioner thanks to Google, but we needed to buy a couple of parts. We were also supposed to be going to the hospital to get the test for the lake. But the sun was high in the sky and I couldn’t say no when Bucky suggested we go for a drive before doing actual work. 

Around us, tractors were slowly beginning to till the land and preparing to plant cotton, corn, and peanuts. I wasn’t going to miss the stress of planting, the risk of a bad harvest or the long days sat working the land. Though renting out our 400 acres had hurt my pride, it was the right thing to do. It paid the bills.

Bucky slowed as we rolled into town. The bike was parked in front of the hardware store and he turned off the engine. I traced the ‘A’ on the back of his leather jacket before dismounting. The helmet Natasha gave me fit snug around my big head. I pulled the heavy black headgear off and threw my knotted hair back into a ponytail. We left our helmets on the seats.

I tugged Bucky into the shop and straight to the counter. A short-haired teen was behind the counter, mindlessly chewing gum and playing on their phone. Sometime during my discussion with the kid, Bucky wandered off. I was able to order the parts Tony and Bruce figured we’d need and I got the new gate lock I needed for the broken horse stall. I was just about to pay when Bucky reappeared next to me. 

He placed a very large machete on the counter. Along with a baby blue pocket hunter’s knife. Odd choice in color, as the plastic packaging clearly states ‘Must Be 18 Years of Age’.

“And you need these why?” I asked.

“Who doesn’t need a machete?” He shrugged, “and you need this.” 

He pointed at the pocket knife. I technically had a small pocket knife that had belonged to my Papaw, but that was set on the mantel in the living room, under the antique shotgun that didn’t work. I wasn’t sure how I felt about his insistence that I needed a knife, but I wasn’t in the mood to argue.

I gave Bucky an exasperated sigh, “Sure, we’ll get these as well.”

The youth only nodded, “That’ll be $552.96, ma’am.”

To this day, I’m not sure if I choked at the price or being called ma’am. It was probably both.

I swung my backpack around and fished out my wallet. My shiny, tiny, texas flag emblazoned card looked so happy to be shoved into the card reader. Apart of me wanted to cry, so much money gone just like that.  _ Sunday’s auction better go well, otherwise, we’ll be eating only eggs and canned goods for the next two weeks.  _

My card was declined. The kid did the wipe down trick and it was still declined. I should have been paid last week. It didn’t make sense. I had money, I knew it.

“Shit,” I whispered under my breath. I had paid this month’s property taxes with my last school check. That meant I had maybe $200 to my name, and we wanted to go out on Friday. I still needed to pay the ever-increasing utility bills. At least I didn’t have a cable bill.

“Here I gotcha,” Bucky pulled his wallet out and counted out eleven new $50 bills and crumpled $5. After each bill was swiped with a counterfeit pen, Bucky dropped the change into the charity bucket next to register. “Oh, and we need the receipt.”

The flimsy piece of paper was thrown into the plastic sack along with my order form for the parts, the latch, and two weapons. Mindlessly I took back my card.

“Open your bag up doll, saddlebag is full.”

I stood in shock for a moment. How was that just so easy for him? Bucky jiggled the bag and I finally snapped out of it. Once our goods were in my backpack, I slung it back on and we walked back outside. 

“I’ll pay you back,” I blurted out when we stood next to the bike. 

“It's a fine doll,” he smiled at me. 

Boom, end of discussion. Bucky didn’t seem to have any qualms about dropping some much money on the ranch, on me. I was starting to feel a bit like a kept woman, or even a sugar baby. I did NOT like that one bit.  I grumbled for a bit and then checked my watch. It was just after 2:30 pm. I grabbed his hand and drug him across the street to the Dairy Queen, the one chain restaurant in town. 

“You can consider this our first date. I’m buyin’ you an ice cream.” I pushed into the freezing cold shop. 

“Oh so classy doll,” he laughed while draping his arm over my shoulder. 

“It is, a classy lady only puts out on the second date.” I reasoned. 

“What can I get y’all today?” the short woman behind the counter asked.

“Can I get a small Turtle Pecan Blizzard, please? And he’ll have a…” I look up at Bucky.

“A chocolate Dilly Bar.”

“Sure, no problem.” She smiled at him. 

I paid for our ice creams and we watched my Blizzard be given the signature flip test before she handed it over to me and then passed Bucky his bar. We walked back across the street to the bike and leaned against it. Best first date I’d been on in a while, or really the only first date that didn’t take place in a hideous college dorm room.

“I’m not gonna be able to sleep tonight,” I said around a mouthful of ice cream.

“Why?” He gave me a weird look. 

“I can’t remember the last time I ate this much sugar.” I shrugged and continued to spoon in the sweet treat. 

“You sound like Tony,” Bucky crunched down the chocolate shell of the bar.

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Tony is a cool dad.” I smiled.

“Don’t tell him that. It’s already weird when he refers to you as his child.” Bucky made a face that was half amused and half utterly grossed out at the thought.

“I won’t. I never knew my parents and Dallas doesn’t talk about them.” I sighed, then said the one thing I thought would lighten the mood for some reason.

“Ya girl can’t have daddy issues if she ain’t ever had a daddy.” I couldn’t say the word Daddy without laughing, which was good, cause this first date did not moody parent nonsense.

“Baby girl, that mostly just sounds like you wanted to say the word Daddy,” He teased me. 

“Don’t get any ideas Buck-o,” I scooped more ice cream into my mouth, trying to hide my embarrassment.

“Oh, I am full of ideas now.” He gave me a cheeky grin before finishing his ice cream.

**~Thursday 4:30 pm~**

I needed to start a chore chart. Somehow, Tony, Natasha, and Rhodey always ended up getting “easy” jobs. Like this morning, they drew dinner duty as the chore they needed to do. So it meant that while Thor, Bruce, and Steve had to help me hand till the whole one-acre garden, Tony and Natasha made lewd comments from the gardens chairs they’d set up on the back patio about their guys. This only made it worse when Bucky showed up from somewhere and joined in. Commenting on sweaty bodies and taking off our shirts. Thor and Steve had lost their shirts about 5 minutes in and Bruce and I wore tank tops. 

When it became too much, I walked over to the onlookers, gardening hoe in hand. 

“Do you wanna do this?” I stared pointedly at Tony and Bucky. Natasha’s leg was still healing, also, I didn’t have in me to be mean to her.

“But doll you and Stevie boy are doing it so well.” Bucky grinned.

“You can’t deprive me of this fantasy, kid. Steve knows what he’s doing. That dummy thicc punk.” Tony takes a huge sip of ice tea through his Avengers branded cup.  _ Where did that even come from? Why do they even have those? _

“I don’t know what that means, and I’m fine with that. If the comments continue, I will put you to work.” I gave them a stern look and went back to work.

===============================

“Why do you do chores so early?” Sam asked, leaning against the stall frame and pulling me back from my daydreaming.

“It's good to keep a schedule with the horses. They need consistency. Doing chores at 4:30 also means there is time to cook dinner and do any other work I’d normally have during the school year.” I stated. 

Sam and Clint drew the short straws to help with evening chores. Sam drew the even shorter straw and got to shovel horse manure with me before we let the horses back in. Clint was on chicken duty. Based on the occasional shout and then dogs barking, he was not having the best time of getting the hens into their coop for the night.

The faces Sam pulled every time I shoveled a pile of waste into the deep wheelbarrow just made me smirk. Once we are done, we walk over to the huge green skip tucked away from the stable and empty today’s clean up. This made him grimace more and I told him he’ll get used to it. His response was to grumble and openly plan a way to get out of evening chores for the rest of forever. We walked back inside and started filling the troughs with hay and pellets. 

Despite having watched me do this before, Sam was not ready for me to let the horses into the stable. They thundered into their stalls and went straight to eating. I closed Margarita’s stall and gave her some extra loving. Sam jumped every time one of the younger horses pushed against the stall he was closing. 

Once they were all secure, we walked into the barn to feed the cats. Bucky and Loki were already there though, scooping the food onto the tray. Loki was stroking and cooing at the chubby cat in his arms.

“Do either of you even work?” Sam grunted, wiping his face with his shirt. 

“What does it look like we are doing, stable boy?” Loki smirked and continued to stroke the cat in his arm. 

“Have you named that one as well?” I asked.

“Prince Loaferson will soon force the world to kneel and then you will all be sorry,” he keened, as the cat wiggled free to eat its dinner. 

“Yeah, just like Alpine will be the first kitty assassin.” I giggled.

“Hey, she is getting more and more vicious every day.” Bucky thrust up his hand to show off the scratch he got yesterday.

“Yes, dear,” I drawled out, before bursting into giggles.  _ Marshmallow. _

I left the guys in the barn to play with the cats to go check on Clint. He was still chasing the last chicken around. Tequila spotted me and cleared the fence before I was halfway there. Whiskey soon followed, leaving the man to his own devices. I gave each dog firm pat on the side before speaking.

“Do you need help?” I asked.

“No, I’m gonna get this one,” he scowled and then jumped when the bird flapped its wings at him.

“Normally, I just have to open the coop up and the dogs chase ‘em in.” I mused, briefly looking at the dogs standing on this side of the fence.

“Those two traitors did not help at all.”

“Hmm,” I watched his continued attempts at herding the chicken. 

When the supper bell rang, with a very enthusiastic shout Tony, I took pity on Clint. In one quick swoop, I picked up the last chicken and tossed her into the coop for the night. 

“Easy peasy,” I smirked. “Now come on, supper’s ready.”

We walked back to the house in silence. I scraped the crude from my boots and chucked them to the far end of the porch. Inside, the house was filled with a fragrant, nutty smell. I raced upstairs to wash up and put on house clothes as I was calling them - ratty sweatpants, sports bra, and my sleep shirt. They couldn’t be called PJs because I’d peel the first two off the moment I went upstairs to sleep. But I didn’t want to wear my work clothes to dinner either, so house clothes were a thing now.

Once I was freshened up, I padded down the stairs and over to the supper table. The boys were all back from the barn and nearly everyone was crowded around Loki’s phone. Except for Thor, who looked annoyed.

“Whatcha watchin’?” I crowded around them, fearing I already knew the answer. Bucky threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.

On the screen, Thor was stripping out his jeans. He muttered something about Loki cheating. My voice can be heard off the screen telling Thor the water should be fine, it was just a precaution to test the lake. Thor picked up the sample cup and walked towards the dock. What he didn’t notice was that Loki is following him. In hindsight, I felt a bit guilty for not stopping him. It was weird that he came along at all, but he’d said he wanted to see the swimming hole. Soon all you see on screen is Thor’s tanned back and Loki’s paler hand as he shoves him into the water. Thor had yelped when Loki pushed him initially, and Loki’s crazy giggles could be heard over his waterlogged sputtering. Then Loki, being Loki apparently, decided to shout snake and Thor totally lost it. I’d never seen a man run so fast.

“Oh that never gonna get old,” Loki swiped a tear from his cheek before bursting into another giggle fit.

**~Friday 7:19 pm~**

“Who’s on dish duty tonight?” Steve glanced around the table.

“Not it!” Clint jabbed his nose the moment dish duty was uttered.

Soon everyone had their finger to their nose, and I’m sat there like a lemon with my mouth full of spaghetti, trying to carb up for the night ahead. I knew I should do the dishes before we go out. I knew it. But I didn’t want to. There was a big difference between doing dishes for one person versus 12 people. 

“Who needs to shower yet?” I countered, trying to get out the job.

“Doesn’t matter, Sis. You are still on dish duty. Them’s the rules.” Dallas leaned back and stacked his hands behind his head.

“Fine,” I muttered and started scooping up plates to wash.

I continued to mutter about it being my house and my rules and how I was going to make a chore chart tomorrow, hangover be damned. 

“How are we even getting to this place tonight?” Bruce questioned when I picked up the empty pan from the table.

“I just figured your bikes? Better than everyone piling into the truck.”

“But then how will we get back? You said it was a 20-minute **drive** from here.” Steve pointed out, always thinking about safety.

“Oh, the same way I used to always get back. The hayride.” 

“What the fuck is a hayride?” Loki squinted at me.

“Think of it like a backwoods taxi I guess. It means we won’t need a DD.” I turned on the hot water tap and started to scrub the pan.

“Then why isn’t it just called a taxi?” Clint’s interest peaked.

“Cause it's a tractor with a trailer,” I explained.

“What fresh hell are you going to take us to?” Sam crossed his arms.

“The kind filled with glorious sin and loads of alcohol dude. It’ll be fun, trust me.” The hot water splashed into the sink as I submerged the stack of plates.

“I will be sorely disappointed if it isn’t,” Loki crossed his arms.

“It’s like living in a convent at this place.” Thor also crossed his arms.

"You guys have been here for like a week, calm down," I teased.

“It’s not like you guys couldn’t go into town and get your dick wets.” Natasha scoffed.

“And when would we have time to do that?” Sam asked.

“Literally any night you freaks. I’m sick of you stealing all the hot water.” Rhodey sounded tired already.

“It isn’t our fault Bucky called dibs the only fucking single female in a 10-mile radius.” Clint crossed his arms.

“Well excuse me,” Bucky laughed.

“I’d just like to say, that’d not sleep with any a ya anyhow. Dibs or otherwise,” I started to dry the dishes.

“I’m wounded Miss Luna,” Loki placed his hand on his heart.

“No, you aren’t,” I frowned at him. “Plus, there will be loads of single people out tonight.”

“How do you know this? You are one costume change away from being a nun,” Dallas crossed his arm.

“Because one, it’s a Friday night and two, because it’s the only place to really do any dancin’,” I finished up drying the dishes.

“What time we leavin’?” 

“If we are there by 9:30, the party will just be gettin’ good. So around nine, I guess?” I figured that should be enough time.

“You horn dogs get outta here and scrub up. J.A.R.V.I.S. put on my going out playlist.” Tony stood up and started waving the boys away.

Before I could ask who Jarvis was, a voice came on from a speaker somewhere in the house, confirmed the request, and began blasting _‘Welcome To The Jungle’_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried a different-ish format here. Let me know what you thought! As always, thanks for reading. <3
> 
> PS - the next chapter is gonna be steamy...


	9. I Feel A Sin Comin' On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this got a bit more angsty and emotional than I thought it would. not sorry though.

_ I feel a sin comin' on _

_ I feel a right that's about to go wrong _

The soft, worn blue checked dress wasn’t as fitted as it used to be. Even with my tiny food baby, my least appropriate for school dress wasn’t as skin tight as it once was. My figure had changed so much. I wasn’t as soft. My arms had clearly defined muscles in them now, where for nearly all my life had just been soft flesh. The dress I’d chosen was thin-strapped and had a new habit of slipping off my shoulder. The hem fell about mid-thigh and would reveal my fancy undies if I bent over or got caught in a strong breeze. 

_ I’m really doing this. I’m gonna try and seduce a dangerous biker into being my first time. Jesus take the wheel. _

I walked out of my room and down the stairs to meet everyone else. It was just about 9 pm. When I'd asked Natasha what she was wearing tonight, she smirked and said something that would make Bruce blush. Now, looking at her tight leather skirt and equally tight strapless top, I felt like a child. This dress used to make me feel sexy, alluring, and now I was realizing just how immature I was compared to these people. 

The men were dressed in differing arrays of dark denim and nice dress shirts. Their cologne quickly overpowering the smells leftover from supper. Bucky was wearing the black pearl snap again, the sleeves rolled up to reveal just the bottom edge of his tattoo. My brain’s immediate response was to imagine ripping that now offensive shirt off and lick every part of him. 

_ Okay, time to reel it in. You don’t even know if he wants that. _

"Y'all ready to go?" I smiled at them.

"What have you done with Luna?" Sam teased.

"Ha, ha Sam," I brushed a lock of my loose hair back, pulling on my boots.

"Can we go now? We were promised sin and singles!" Loki whined.

"Yeah, yeah I just need to get my bag. Get your boots on." 

"You are not bringin’ your backpack with you," Tony groaned.

"What else am I supposed to do with this phone and my wallet?" I started, "oh, and this knife?" I wobbled the weirdly infantile colored weapon about.

"Okay, well the knife can stay here." Bucky swiped the thing from me. "And I can pocket anything else."

"Great, problem solved, let's go," Thor clapped his hands together. 

_ I got a shiver down to the bone _

_ I feel a sin comin' on _

I gripped Bucky's torso with one arm while holding the hem of my dress down against the cool breeze. We were leading the gang down a narrow dirt road. Looking up, I saw the rays of neon light breaking through the beautiful darkness of the night sky.

The parking lot was nearly full. Cars and trucks packed against the building. Slowly each bike was parked in a straight line up against the far side of the lot. I felt a shiver run through me as the vibration of the engine stopped.

I pulled Bucky's helmet off and ran shaky fingers through my hair. A nervous excitement raced through my veins. 

Subtle bass music thumped against the chorus of crickets replaced the sound of rumbling engines. I grabbed Bucky's hand and nearly ran to the front doors. My boots thudded softly against the dirt, while my heart raced.

"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in," bouncer at the door grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Ashley!" I flung my arm around the huge man.

"We've missed you," he whispered, hugging me back.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around. It's difficult to get away from the ranch now that it's just me," I explained, a sadden edging into voice.

"And who are these fine specimens?" He quickly changed the subject, his gazing landing first on Bucky, then the other leather jacket-clad people. 

"These are my friends," I waved over to the group behind me. "I promised them a good time."

"Sweetie, there are only good times to be had down at the County Line," he grinned again and inclined his head, a signal for us to head inside. 

I gave him another quick hug, before rejoining my hand with Bucky's. I pushed open the heavy set swing doors. A puff of fake smoke wafted out and the stench of perfumes and tequila hit me. It was almost like I never stopped coming around. This place had been like a second home to me for so long. 

"Y'all go find a table and I'll get the first round," I first squeezed Bucky's hand, then squeezed through the crush of bodies. 

At the bar, I recognized the faces of the long time bartenders. When it was finally my turn to order, I beamed up at the woman with thick eyebrows and dark lipstick. 

“Oh my days,” Trixie clutched at her chest. “Gloria! Our favorite little trouble maker has returned.”

“What!?” A burly woman rounded the corner of the bar to the side we were standing on.

“Hey, y’all,” my cheeks hurt with how much I was grinning.

“Suga, it’s been too long.” Gloria grabbed my empty fingers with her heavily ringed ones.

“I know you only love me for my top-shelf taste,” I teased.

“You know that ain’t true,” she looked at me with serious eyes.

“Yeah, I do,” I sighed. “But I’m here now, and I promised my friends a good time, so let’s get this party started.”

“That’s what I like to hear! You deserve to let loose, sweetie. What’a y’all want?” 

“Let’s get 12 shots of tequila,” I shouted as the band picked up.

“Yaasss,” Trixie hissed, setting up a tray with 12 glasses.

Expertly she poured the golden liquid to the rim of the glasses. I peered around the bar and spotted the boys at the large U shaped booth near the band. Before I could take the tray, Gloria also popped a plate of limes and a large margarita on it. 

“That is on the house,” she gave me a sad smile. 

“I’ll have my-” I almost said boyfriend. That’s what I wanted to introduce him as, but it just didn’t feel right yet. “I’ll bring my card up when we get the next round,” I promised. 

I wove my way through the crowd and desperately tried to keep all the alcohol in its tiny glasses. Once at the table, I set the tray down and passed out the shots and limes. 

“Let the night begin,” I cheered.

_ I gotta buzz in my brain _

_ Drunk on a love goin' down like champagne _

I slurped the last of second Margarita down. Thor and Loki had gone to get another round for the table. Tony had dragged Steve out onto the dance floor, claiming they didn’t dance enough and fuck stereotypes. Things were going really well. I was having a really good time. The alcohol gave me a warm floaty buzz.

Bruce and Natasha sat close to one another, her not hurt leg draped over his while he had his arm slung around her shoulders. They mostly people watched. Observing the crowded dance floor, occasionally making a comment. I wasn’t jealous. Definitely not jealous of the way he rubbed his knuckles over her exposed skin. Definitely not jealous of their whispered exchange that brought a further flush to both their cheeks. 

_ Look anywhere else, look anywhere else. _

Sure why not look at Tony and Steve dancing? Was that first couple not tormenting enough for my booze drowned heart? 

The band was playing some fast-paced country-rock song about restless hands. That made me smirk. I knew what I wanted to do with my hands. Both men swayed and rocked to the beat, Steve’s hands firmly tucked into the back pocket of Tony’s jeans. Anyone who looked at them could see how stupidly love drunk they were on one another

I was so jealous and too damn scared to do anything about it.

_ I got a feelin' it's gonna leave a lipstick stain _

_ And I'll be the only one to blame _

Sam challenged me to a game of quarters. Dallas, Thor, and Loki immediately wanted in as well. Apparently I wasn’t fun drunk enough. Bucky offered to get the round of shots this time and off he went. I watched him buzz and jump through the crush of people. He had pulled his hair back bun, which helped him stand out in the crowd in my opinion. 

Gloria was pouring this round of drinks. She made eye contact with me briefly and winked before returning to the bar to prep the shots. I was so focused on her, I missed the curvy woman with bright red lipstick slid up to Bucky. Just as she leaned heavily into him, her lips a breath away from him, he turned and locked eyes with me. There was no push to throw her off. No encouragement either, like he wanted to tease me and see how I would react. 

“Looks like you got some competition, Miss Luna,” Sam elbowed me. 

“I guess I do,” I sighed and dejectedly leaned back into the booth.

“You should make him jealous,” Natasha untangled herself from Bruce and leaned forward on to the table. 

“And how could I do that? Look at me! I can’t compete with that,” I gestured wildly at the woman leaning all over Bucky.

“You could always fuck one of us,” Loki snickered, before taking another drink of long neck.

“No.” I scowled at him.

“Well, if he is gonna strut around, callin’ you his girl, you need to make him act like it.” Natasha reasoned. 

“I can’t do that, he’s not serious.”

Bucky was back with the shots. Finally, that topic can be dropped. 

“Get your quarters out bitches and get ready to lose,” Sam shouted. 

_ And you can see it _

_ All over my face _

_ Sweet temptation _

_ All over the place _

A petite waiter walked up to the band in between songs and whispered something to the lead singer. 

“Are y’all havin’ a good night?” The singer called out to the crowd, who responded with cheers.

“Well kings and queens, I’ve just been told that our favorite little princess promised that group of very fine lookin’ men a sinful night,” She pointed at our table.

_ Shit, shit, shit. _ I slunk into the booth to more cheers and awes. 

“So we’re gonna play her favorite song. Fade the lights!” The band was soon only barely lit. 

There was a soft glow of neon signs behind the bar providing just enough light to see the outlines of bodies. A slow, sultry snap came from the band. My drink addled mind didn’t need any more convincing than that. 

“You gonna dance with me Buck?” I grabbed his forearm. 

“Yeah, doll, thought you’d never ask,” he smirked.

His fingers ghosted over my waist as we moved to the center of the dance floor. I pulled him close behind me. I rolled my hips against him and swayed to the intoxicating beat. Bucky gripped my hips with his strong hands, pulling me closer to his body. Heat was radiating off of us, melting us into one as we writhed together to the beat. I thread one of my hands with his on my hip, while the other reached up to caress his face.

Bucky’s breath smelled of tequila and beer and was hot against my neck. I let my head fall to the side, giving him more space. He kissed my neck, sucking lightly at the pulse point. As the guitar and drum picked up a heavier beat, Bucky snapped his hips firmly against my backside, showing me just how much he was enjoying the dance.

As the song came to end, the lights began to fade up. Bucky didn’t let me go, or move away from the dance floor when another fast-paced song started. I turned my flushed face to his. 

“Follow me,” I murmured.

_ Give me tall dark and handsome, _

_ Mix it up with somethin' strong _

_ I feel a sin (I feel a sin) comin' on _

The cold metal against my back, mixed with Bucky’s hot tongue in my mouth, made me shiver. It was better than any drink, nothing would ever compare to right now. A hand was sliding the hem of my dress up, while another was rubbing slow circles around my jawline. Both thin straps had slipped off my shoulder. Bucky pushed one of his thick thighs between my own. The delicious friction caused a whimper to escape my lips between kisses. 

He noticed this. The smug grin I felt on my neck told me as much. Both of his hands rested on my butt now, under my dress. They gripped and squeezed at my lace-covered skin before coaxing me to rock down onto his denim-clad leg. Another gasp and jolt of pleasure rocked me. The flush on my skin was no longer from the alcohol I’d been drinking. It’s from a cocktail of body heat, lust, and embarrassing innocence. 

It's nearly black outside. Only the faintest glow the neon lights are reaching us behind the tractor-trailer. The crickets and music faded away to rustling fabric and heavy breathing. Bucky’s kissing turned into biting and sucking at my neck. The arousal in the bottom of my stomach grew as more elicit moans dripped from my mouth. 

“Fucky baby girl, I love the way you sound,” Bucky growled against my neck.

I was desperate for more; friction, biting, praise. My thoughts were stuttering, I couldn’t think of what the heroines in those old romance novels would do now. My hands on his shoulders dug further into the fabric. I needed more.

“Bucky, please.” I was breathless. The words on my lips were barely a whisper.

“You gotta tell me what you need, doll.” He groaned as my hips slid up his thigh. My own thigh rubbed against the bulge in jeans.

Somehow he lifted me higher, my feet were off the ground and around his waist. One of his arms helped balance me while the other rested on my throat. He waited. Bucky stared into my intensely blushing face, waiting for me to voice my desire. His thumb brushed over my bottom lip. Barely, just barely, I could make out a look in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. The emotion was deep, causing his pupils to expand and contract. 

“I-I-I want you-”

Bucky kissed me again, fierce. I was more than thankful to not have to force the words out. The tongue-tied mess of arousal and embarrassment that I was would have stumbled over the words. Then again, my fingers stumbled over the buttons on his shirt. I wanted to feel his skin under my hands. I wanted to be felt. And he seemed to get that. 

Finally, one of my hands was able to slide down under the collar of the shirt. Fingers ghosted across his shoulder before settling over his heart. The fast, steady beat grounded me, my own fluttering heart relaxing. Bucky mirrored the action, the front of my dress easily fell to pool around my waist. His hand was hot and rough against my own soft skin. 

_ Please Jesus don't hold me back _

_ I know it ain't mine but I want it so bad _

_ The smoke and the whiskey's _

_ Got me feeling easy _

_ And the lights are all fading to black _

I knew what I wanted to do then. Between liquid courage and Bucky’s heated kisses, my mind finally latched on to something. Something that always happened in those trashy romance novels. Maybe that something was a cop-out. A deep dark part of me knew this was wrong, we were drunk and outside the bar. But I didn’t want to stop.

My fingers slid down to his waist. Belt, button, zip - all undone with shaking fingers. If he noticed, he ignored my nerves. Bucky groaned as my palm rubbed against his cock. His lips stilled on my collar bone for one shuddered breath. 

“Bucky set me down,” I whispered against his neck.

He froze and released his hand from my breast and the arm wrapped around me loosened until I could slide to my own feet. Though, I was on my feet for only a moment. My lips met his for a fast kiss, then I slid down onto the hard dirt ground. The tiny pebbles dug into my knees, but Bucky’s hitched breath made it worth it. I settled my hands on the waistband of his pants and underwear. Taking one last look at him, I slowly pulled them down until his cock sprung free. 

“Fuck,” I breathed out.

Yeah, in my hand it felt kinda big, but Jesus how was that supposed to fit literally anywhere? One hand clung to his thigh, while my other hand wrapped around the base. The hard flesh in my hand was hot, unforgivably so. There was a heady scent of sex floating through the breeze now. 

Instinct, or maybe just some base, primal desire, seemed to take over me. I leaned forward until my head rested at the junction of his hip and thigh. I inhaled deeply through my nose, taking in the pure musky smell of Bucky. My tongue wets my lips, before venturing on to lick the base of his cock not covered by my fingers. I lick up to the tip, tasting the drop of precum there.

“Shit, baby girl, you look so good on your knees for me. So fuckin’ pretty,” Bucky moved his hand to rest in my hair. 

I wrapped my lips around the tip and started to suckle. The salty, musky, bitter taste of Bucky on my tongue was foreign and strong. My lips stretched wide around his girth. I felt every pulse of his cock on my tongue and I moaned. There was a distinct power in this, knowing what I was doing to him. 

When my lips met my fist, I pulled them back in tandem. Bucky groaned deep in his chest.  _ Is this how he felt when he said he loved the way I sounded? _ There was growing wetness between my legs, my panties soaked up my arousal. His hand in my hair was clenching like he wanted to grab it and let loose. I let my hand on his cock move to clasp the one in my hair. That was all the encouragement he needed from me. His hand fisted my hair and pulled. The pain and pleasure of it caused me to gasp and choke around his cock. 

I don’t move away though, Bucky was whispering and gasping the dirtiest fucking sweet nothing to me. My world narrowed down to just that. I needed more of his mouth telling me how good I was. I didn’t care if there were tears dripping down my cheek now or if I was struggling to breathe. The only things mattered to me was hearing Bucky and feeling him thrust into my mouth.

When my nose brushed against his pubic hair and his cock hit the back of my throat, I swallowed around him. And I swallowed again when something hot coated my throat and mouth. I choked around his twitching cock, struggling to keep the amount of cum and saliva in my mouth. Bucky’s head was slack, mouth hanging open and breathing like he’d just run a country a mile.

“That’s it, baby girl, you did so good. So fuckin’ pretty takin’ all of me like that.” Bucky pulled me up off my knees.

He rubbed thumbs against my jaw and across my tear-soaked cheeks. He kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my lips. Everything was soft and delicate and utterly overwhelming. A tightness in my chest sprouted from nowhere. Fresh tears pooled in my eyes. 

“Hey, hey look at me baby,” He cooed, voice laced with concern. He tilted my head up to look at him. “You are so beautiful, baby girl. My good lil girl. What do you need?”

I wrapped my arms around his waist. My own arousal faded.  **_That_ ** wasn’t what I needed now. His strong arms wrapped across my back and pulled me close. The firm pressure of him against me grounded me in the moment. I inhaled the scent of him. The soft smell of Old Spice, laundry soap, and Bucky filled my lungs.

“You doin’ okay baby girl?” He asked, and I nodded against him, worried if I spoke I’d start crying for real.

“You bring guys out here often, do ya doll?” There was a smile in his voice as he continued to hug me. He was trying to lighten the mood. My marshmallow.

“I’ve never-”

“Hey, sluts! Cap wants to know if you want another round when you’re done bein’ animals?” Clint shouted into the night.

My body froze, the goosebumps on my arms and back a sudden reminder that we were outside. Half dressed. My knees still coated in dirt. I tried to jerk out of Bucky’s arms, but he held firm.

“You want another drink baby girl?”

_ And you can see it _

_ All over my face _

_ Sweet temptation _

_ All over the place _

We snuck back in and up to the bar. Trixie and Gloria take one look at me, then glare down at Bucky. I was being clingy, I was sure of it. My hand that wasn’t clutched around the pint of water he demanded I get, was desperate to touch any part of him. I wasn’t sure what came over me, beyond a new level of drunken neediness. I took slow sips of the water. We hadn’t returned to the table yet, but I had seen Bucky nod at Steve.

_ What if he was just playing with you? You were just something for him to use. What if he doesn’t want you now because you cried like a stupid baby after giving one fucking blowjob? God, what would happen if he found out... _

“Hey baby girl, come back to me.”

I turned towards his voice, so soft and soothing.

“You sure you’re okay? We can go back outside.” He rubbed a reassuring hand over my shoulder and neck.

I tried to nod, but that wasn’t enough

“You gotta use your words, doll. I can’t take care of you if you don’t tell me what’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours,” he leaned down to touch his forehead to mine, closing out the rest of the crowded bar.

“I-I-I’m sorry for-for cryin’ and be-be-bein’ so clingy,” I stuttered, grabbing his wrist to keep his hand on my face.

“I like havin' you all over me. We’ve been drinkin’ and outside got a bit heavy. It’s okay, baby girl. Are you havin’ regrets?” He stared into my eyes, concern leaking into his voice.

“No,” I rushed out, “No, I’m sure it’s just first time jitters gettin’ the better of me.” _Calm down, don't freak him out. Why are you like this?_

“What do you mean first time jitters?” Bucky set his beer bottle down and put his other hand on my face, forcing me to keep eye contact with him.  _ Shit, shit, shit. _

“You asked if I did that often, and I was gonna tell you I’d never done it before.”

“Like outside?” He stared down at me, his voice lowered.

“Like at all.” I set my glass of water down next to his beer.

I waited for him to process this new information. To hand me back this new baggage I’d stupidly given him because I was selfish and wanted him. There was a moment where his features twisted into a frown. I was sure he’d toss me aside. But then his stupid big, smug marshmallow grin danced across his face. Bucky pulled me in for a firm kiss and wrapped his strong arms around me again. 

“I told ya, you’re my girl and I take care of what’s mine. And I ain’t lettin' you go for nothin’ now. You are mine, baby girl. My beautiful, strong, innocent baby girl.” He rubbed his face against my hair.

“I am one of those things Buck, and it ain’t strong or beautiful,” I hiccuped.

“Ain’t nobody speakin’ about my girl like that, even you,” he squeezed me harder.

“You really mean it?”

“Yeah, doll.”

_ Give me tall dark and handsome, _

_ Mix it up with somethin' strong _

_ I feel a sin (I feel a sin) comin' on _

It was late, or really earlier depending on how you thought about it. We stayed at the County Line until the bar closed at 1:30 am. There was another round of quarters played and Bucky danced with me anytime he noticed me nodding along to a song or staring at the dancers. Mostly I was grateful the guys kept their mouths shut about why we’d been gone and why it was obvious I had been crying. Bucky didn’t take his hand off me the rest of the night and that was better than any drink.

The tractor dipped under a bump in the road and the trailer lurched and jumped, jostling all 12 of us. We’d just dropped off the last group about 10 minutes from the ranch. I sat sideways on Bucky’s lap. His jacket was draped across my shoulder. One of his hands rested on my thigh while the other played loosely with my hair. My face tucked comfortably into his neck. When I opened my eyes I could just make out the passing farms and starry sky.

“Did she really sleep through that?” Sam asked.

“I’m fully awake you butt head,” I lifted my head to stare at him.

“Wow, I’m so hurt by your name-calling,” he smirked.

“Tactical vom!” Clint shouted, before leaning over the edge of the trailer.

The sound of retching caused Dallas, Rhodey, and Sam to turn green and also throw up. 

“You are all weak,” I announced. “What a waste of alcohol.”

“Are you always like this when you get shit faced?” Loki gave me an annoyed sideways glance.

“I wouldn’t know. Normally I’m alone by this point in the hayride.”

“Yes she is always this loud,” Ashley shouted from the tractor.

“Ashley, don’t be a tractor traitor.”

“Child please, shut up, your elders are trying to not die,” Tony chided from where he lounged against Steve.

“Why are you all so old? The night is still young,” I whined, throwing my arms up and gesturing to the sky, dropping the jacket.

“Doll, you gotta sit still or you’ll fall out.” Bucky gripped my leg.

“That’s happened before. One night I got in an argument with some douchebag about the best kind of horse and I fell straight into the ditch.” 

“What?” They all looked at me.

“Oh yeah, who the fuck thinks Shetland Ponys are the best? Like that is just stupid. The list of best horses is Appaloosa, Clydesdale, Cob, Curly, and then Painted. There are no ponies on the list.” I listed out the breed on my hand.

“You fell in a ditch?” Loki laughed. 

“That’s not the important part of the story, the important part was I showed an idiot how wrong he was.”

“Did he also fall in the ditch?” Thor asked.

“No, Ashley gave him a stern talkin’ to for rilin’ me up because I am “a troublemakin’ handful” as it is and that talkin’ ‘bout horses only makes me worse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that inspired this/is referenced is "I Feel A Sin Comin' On" by the Pistol Annies. 10/10 would recommend them in general. Also, give me your country music suggestions! I've been listening to the same playlist for like a month.


	10. Use Your Words, Doll

I did not miss this. It was 5 am and I was barely holding it together. I was still drunk from the night before. I had slowly let the horses out. Their loud hooves aggravated the growing hangover I was going to have. Flinging open the door to the chicken coop I let Tequila and Whiskey do their thing while I leaned against the frame. My legs were freezing. When the chickens were all out, I lifted the lid to the coop and pulled out the eggs.

_ Eggs are a good hangover cure. I should make breakfast before I crawl back to bed. _

The coop lid flopped close and I trudged back to the house. I carelessly launched my untied boots across the porch. When I opened the door I stared at the pile of bodies in my living room that I had apparently forgotten about. 

===============================

_ “Just climb over the fence you yuppies, it's easy.” _

_ “Control your child Tony.” _

_ “Bucky you called dibs on her, you control her.” _

_ “She seems like more of a Dom to me.” _

_ “You’d be wrong.” _

_ “That’s my sister, staaahhhpppp.” _

_ “She calls me Daddy now.” _

_ “Southern belle’s really a kinky one?” _

_ “You can’t have Daddy issues if you don’t have a Daddy!” _

_ “You’re all perverts.” _

_ “Stevie help I’m stuck.” _

_ “Bruce carry me, my legs don’t work anymore.” _

_ “Why is she running around with the dogs?” _

_ “Stop her, she’s makin’ my head spin.” _

_ “How can she have so much energy?” _

_ “Did someone give her coke?” _

_ “No, Cap said we couldn’t have drugs here remember?” _

_ “Oh shit.” _

_ “You’ve been smoking joints every night, yeah we know.” _

_ “How are we supposed to make it all the way up there?” _

_ “Nightcaps and sleepovers at the house, let’s go people.” _

===============================

I threw my head back and groaned.  _ Why am I like this? _ Tiptoeing around the half dressed men sprawled across the room, I cursed my drunk self. It was bad enough I had to face Bucky, who I just left in my bed. Whose shirt was the only thing I could find in my half alive state this morning.

An audience was not necessary for this morning’s inevitable meltdown. I’d probably cry again because of my stupid feelings.

_ No, focus, make breakfast, drink water, go back to sleep, pretend you don’t have a boatload of confusing emotions, focus. _

I made it to the kitchen. Eggs washed quietly. A pan gently set on the burner. A knob of butter heated up. Eggs scrambled. Burner turned off. I went through the mechanical motions of making breakfast. Each action was carefully performed so I wouldn’t burn myself or get distracted. This was something I had done plenty of times before. Glasses of water and orange juice were filled. I downed the OJ first with an aspirin. I was sensible enough to leave out the bottle yesterday before we left.

_ I need toast and coffee. This ain’t doing enough. _

I poured ground coffee into the percolator and started brewing the first pot of the day. 

“You’re gonna be real busy today bub,” I spoke to the machine.

Next, I pulled a slice of white loaf from the bag and popped into the toaster. Another knob of butter for my toast. 

“Jam,” I mumbled back to the fridge. Butter replaced, jam grabbed.

I slathered my buttered toast with bear jam. My plate now complete, I grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured myself a coffee. Slowly, slowly, slowly, I sat down in a barstool. I wasn’t ready to deal with the people yet. I wanted silence and breakfast.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

_ Go away, Steve. _

“I’m eating breakfast. I just finished chores,” I whispered.

“How are you not hungover?”

“That’s my secret Cap, I’m still drunk,” I smiled and took a bite of my toast.

“I’m going back to bed. Stop being loud,” he grumbled.

Finally, I could finish my breakfast in the foggy space between drunk and hungover. Except it’s finished too quickly. I had to creep back up to my bed. Where I had left a snoring Bucky. My memory from last night was hazy at most. I couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or horribly, horribly, cringe-inducingly awful. 

Tequila and Whiskey were lounging against Sam and Loki when I walked through the living room. They looked up at me, tails whipping about in excitement. I hushed them, those two were the last people I wanted to deal with after the quick run-in with Steve. Once up the stairs and in my own room, I stopped. Bucky laid on my bed, the sheets nearly thrown off, in just his briefs. The black fabric practically made his skin glow in the light of the rising sun. His breathing was deep, even. One of his arms was thrown across the side of the bed where I had slept. 

“Come back to bed, baby,” he mumbled into the pillow.

Even though it was my bed, it felt like I was being invited into a moment that I hadn’t previously thought I should be in. Bucky shuffled slightly before raising his arm, waiting for me. I didn’t keep him waiting long. In one smooth motion, my face was pressed against his warm chest and he had an arm and leg draped over me. 

“You smell like breakfast.”

“I did chores, and ate,” I yawned.

“So responsible,” he murmured and pressed closer to me.

The steady, low beat of Bucky’s heart lulled me back to sleep in no time. My mind was filled with dreams of whipping winds and soft touches.

===============================

“You are an animal.”

That was the general consensus of me by about 2 pm that afternoon. Everyone was awake now. The gang was crowded around the supper table nursing hangovers and cups of coffee. Clint and Rhodey both looked a bit pale still and like they’d throw up. I was standing at the stove making breakfast. The sound of fry bacon and soft groans were the only music to describe how last night went. 

“She didn’t drink enough if she can still stand,” Sam groaned into the table.

“You’re just upset because she crushed you at quarters,” Natasha retorted, a bit less hungover than the men. 

“She also ate breakfast at 5 in the fucking morning,” Steve grunted. He looked the most disheveled I’d ever seen him. 

“Chores happen at 4:30 no matter how drunk or hungover I am,” I placed a pile of crispy bacon down on the table along with a tower of toast.

“You drank margaritas and shot all night, I’m surprised you aren’t still drunk.” Dallas slouched further down his chair.

“Did you guys at least have fun?” I asked, setting another plate of scrambled eggs down. 

I portioned out glasses of orange juice as well and gave them each one. 

“Based on this,” Loki raised his forearm that had a phone number written on it, “and this,” he lifted up Thor’s shirt to reveal another number written on his stomach, “and those,” he pointed to the numerous hickeys on Sam’s neck, “I’d say we had a halfway decent time at best. We’ll have to do it again.”

“For science,” Tony muttered in agreement.

I rubbed my hand over my own neck when Loki pointed out Sam’s bruises. I’d seen my neck earlier. No amount of makeup was gonna cover up those marks. I pressed a little firmer on them absentmindedly, almost hoping they’d last longer, to remind me of how good Bucky’s lips felt against my skin.

“We can go again next Friday if y’all want. They always have live music and the gals down there really like me.” I sat down at my seat. I was careful to not look at Bucky, who’s eye I’d been avoiding since he woke up. I was trying to not be clingy or let this weird new shame get to me.

“Yeah, let's talk about those  _ gals, _ ” Clint turned his head to my direction, still not opening his eyes.

“Do y’all have a problem with a drag bar?” I raised an eyebrow.

“No, we have a problem with you keeping  _ dirty _ little secrets,” Loki responded.

“Like that you could drink Thor under the table, or the fact that you can dance like you were an extra for Dirty Dancing, or that you have an army of drag queens ready to kill us, or that you have the self-esteem of a brussel sprout,” Natasha listed out.

“Or that you start fights when you drink too much apparently, or if you aren’t fighting, you are a crying mess, and a clingy one at that,” Sam rolled his neck.

“Those are personal things that don’t matter,” I tried to deflect, crossing my arms.

“Why were you crying last night? Why is it every time you have a little rendezvous with the Sarg, you come back crying?” Loki asked.

“Yeah, why does he make you cry so much?” Dallas turned an angry glare to Bucky.

“How do you know I don’t just make her cry in ecstasy?” Bucky smirked. 

He knocked his knee against mine under the table, but I didn’t move or have any intention of acknowledging it. Loki and Dallas were making me angry.

“Dallas, Loki, shut your pie holes.” I pointed at them. “The rest of ya, eat your breakfast.”

I stormed out of the house, didn’t even lace up my work boots, and stomped away from the house.

Why was I so frustrated? Was it their comments about me crying? That they’d noticed how clingy I got with Bucky? Or that I was just upset with myself for being so… immature? I wasn’t even sure how to act. It wasn’t like I’d had a serious boyfriend before. Was that even how I could describe a man I’d known for what? 19 days? He seemed almost concerningly committed to me being his girl, but he barely knew me, right? Everything was so weird and intense, but also so slow and easy. Was it too easy? Was I being too easy? 

Without anything better to do, I threw my hands up at the sky and just screamed. That made me feel a bit better, so I did it again. None of my questions or feelings were getting answered, but it was cathartic nonetheless.

“You okay out there doll?” Bucky shouted, probably standing on the porch.

“Yep, totally fine,” I yelled back, returning to walk anywhere else.

But that wouldn’t be Bucky’s style to just let me keep shouting at nothing. Stupid marshmallow. Too hecking nice for his own good. What was his deal?!

“I’m completely fine, Buck,” I ground out through my teeth.

“I’m hungover, not blind, doll,” He said, adjusting his pace to my furious walk.

We continued to walk around, making another circle around the grain barn and farmhands' house before he spoke again.

“You wanna talk about what’s eatin’ ya up?”

_ Yes, I desperately want you to explain your feelings for me because I’m feeling hurt and lost. _

“No.”

“Hmm.”

“You got somethin’ you wanna say to me, Buck?” I barked.

“It feels like you wanna start a fight is all,” He shrugged.

“So what if I do?” I threw back.

_ I don’t want to start a fight, I just don’t want to feel like shit anymore. _

“Well then, I guess you need to decide who you gonna fight first.”

“I-I” I stopped walking.

“Cause if you’re upset with me, you gotta tell me, baby girl. If you wanna fight with Sam or Nat or Loki or Dallas, then do it. No point in keeping your feelin’ all bottled up for no reason.”

“Are you suggestin’ that if I wanna beat the shit out of your friends, I do it?” 

_ Like I could beat the shit outta anything. I can barely defend myself. _

“I’m not saying they won’t try and hit ya back, but I’d be there to kill ‘em if they did.” He shrugged again.

I stared at him. What the actual fuck?

“What is your deal?”

“My deal is you. Point blank. You walked into that bar, not scared for shit, full a fire, and I was done. Call it love at first sight if you wanna, doll.” He grinned.

“That stupid,” I scowled.

“Well then call it a healthy mix a lust and curiosity.” He shrugged, again. “I made Dallas tell me all about ya after that.”

“Well then what on God’s green earth could he have possibly said to make you at all interested in me? Dallas joined the army when I was barely in high school, then came back completely lost and then fucking left us.” I waved my arms around at the ranch. 

“Well yeah, he couldn’t tell me that much, but that made it all more fun to get to know ya.”

“Yeah, but I barely know any of you.” I kicked a lump of dirt. “They had no problem just spillin’ all the beans about me. It’s the last time I drink that much with y’all.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “That cause you ain’t asked.”

“And risk being glared at to death? No, thank you.”

“Well, what do you wanna know about me?” Bucky crossed his arms, the body language equivalent of ‘don’t ask me questions’.

“Anything would be nice!” I shouted.

“You don’t gotta raise your voice at me,” He pursed his lips. “I’m just trying to figure out why you're so mad.”

“I’m mad at everything! I'm mad that I can’t seem to make it on my own. I’m mad at Loki and Dallas for mentioning that I cried last night. I'm mad that I cried at all for fuck sake. I'm mad that I can’t fucking understand my own feelings. I'm mad that I don’t have the guts to fucking get to know you or them. I’m mad that this seems so fucking easy for you. I’m mad that I am still struggling to voice my anger or any feelings at this point. I’m mad that I can’t fucking compete with Natasha or literally anyone. I’m mad at you for being such a stupid marshmallow and so fucking good to me for whatever fucking reason.” I seethed. 

I was crying by the end of my rant. It was gonna happen at some point. I’m always crying these days it seemed. I wanted to scream all over again. So I did. Bucky covered his ears and gave me a concerned look.

“Christ, why am I like this? I was perfectly, socially, acceptably fine before y’all rolled into town. I had a routine and it was simple.”

“You were trying to work yourself to death doll. That doesn’t sound fine to me.” Bucky stared at me.

“I don’t get why you put up with me. I’m just some stupid farm kid,” I sniffled.

“Oh my god, just c’mere and hug me,” He opened his arm. I stepped into his arms. “You really are a trouble makin’ handful.”

“It’s your fault.” I huffed into his shirt.

Bucky took a deep breath.

“Stevie and I grew up together in Brooklyn. I was a sniper for the marines. Stevie started the gang when neither of us could get actual jobs when we got back stateside. I couldn’t get a job because I was discharged for breakin’ line and refusin’ to shoot a civilian. I got this scar on my arm from a roadside IED going off while headin’ back to base from that mission. The tattoo is the street Stevie and I grew up on in Brooklyn. I like drinkin’ beer, ridin’ my bike, and Alpine. I’m addicted to Words with Friends. I have a serious problem with smart mouthin’ people and will start a fight the first chance I get. It bothers me so much that you don’t ask for help and that you don’t wifi. What kind of person don’t have wifi?” He laughed out that question.

“People who are busy.”

“Yeah, well that’s bull shit. How can you not want to watch like Youtube or anything?”

“Cause if I’m not workin’, I’d rather read the same trashy romance novels over and over again.”

“Do you feel a bit better now?” He asked after a while.

“Yes. I’m sorry I got emotional and then didn’t express myself in an effective way.” I pulled away.

“You just gotta use your words, baby girl. I’m happy to listen to ya. Your cute little Texas drawl really does it for me,” Bucky smirked at me, a twinkle in his eye, and I blushed.

I sighed and shook my head, “c’mon, let’s head back to the house. We’ll need to pick up your bikes soon.”

===============================

“You were definitely robbed.” 

“Loki, it’s an auction. I can’t control what people are bidding.” I sighed and pulled out the papers from my back pocket. It had not been a good auction.

“You had three excellent specimens Luna,” Thor clapped my back.

“Yeah, you deffo had the best horses here?” Tony’s praise came out like a question.

“Doesn’t matter, I can at least pay the utilities for this month,” I tried to be reasonable and not greedy.

The auction was more of a disaster than anything else. There had been some really good stock here today. I couldn’t compete with that and the rest of the crowd knew it. The ranch had a good reputation for raising decent work and show horses. But it seemed that without Memaw’s influence and reputation around here it wasn’t enough. With the 4-H season kicking in, I hoped that I could at least get the young one auctioned off for some good money. But no, the crowd held tight to their dollars. 

And the whole gang came out to support me. Which just made me more embarrassed to accept the thin envelope of cash from the till before we walked back out to the truck and bikes. 

“We’ll see you guys back at the house,” Bucky called over his shoulder as he climbed into the cab.

“Where are you two going?” Steve asked.

“Top secret mission,” Bucky winked, leaning out of the open window.

“I wanna go on a top secret mission,” Loki stepped up to the truck.

“No, you ain’t invited.” Bucky’s voice was stern.

“Is top secret mission the new code for sex?” Loki teased, still trying to get into the vehicle.

“Loki, if it was I still wouldn’t invite you,” I frowned at him while I finished securing the empty trailer.

“She’s the boss, no fuck off on home,” Bucky scowled at him. 

I climbed into the cab and turned the ignition. Pulling an empty trailer was just as difficult as pulling a full one. I tried to focus on shifting gears and get us out of the parking lot. I didn’t want to think about whatever top secret mission Bucky thought we needed to go on, but my mind kept drifting back to it. 

“So where are we headed?” I finally asked.

“Dairy Queen,” he grinned at me.

“Why?” 

“Cause you did good yesterday, and good girls get rewards,” Bucky gave me a slow wink.

One sharp inhale later, my face was red as a beet and I stalled the truck at the T in the road. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d done that. We could go left to head into town, towards Dairy Queen, or right head towards the ranch. I quickly turned the truck off and restarted the engine, but didn’t move on. 

Bucky had said that so easy, the words just rolled off his tongue in his city slicker - Brooklyn - accent. My hands were clammy and I still was struggling to catch my breath. Why had I reacted that way? I wasn’t a child, but those words just… just did things to me. Bucky placed his hand over mine on the gear shift and I just looked at it. A little whine escaped my lips before I could stop it. 

“You okay doll?” He asked like he didn’t know what he’d done to me.

Another small sound dropped from my lips before I could speak again.

“Yep, totally fine, mhmm, let’s go to the DQ,” I shifted us into gear, indicated, and turned left down the lane. 

The song on the radio engulfed the cab of the truck. It had a steady beat, the singer’s voice was low and full of twang. I knew that song, I knew what it was about. If there was a mixed tape for Bucky and me, this is a song that would go on it. It would fit between the song from the bar on Friday night and Walk the Line by Johnny Cash. 

_ What's the point in fightin' what we're feelin' _

_ We both know we'll never win _

_ Ain't this what we're missin' _

_ Let's just stop all this resistin' and give in _

_ Let me wrap my arms around you _

_ You know you don't want to leave this room _

_ Come back and let me hold you darlin' _

_ Girl I just got started lovin' you _

I parked the truck up, taking up more space than acceptable on a Sunday afternoon, but I didn’t care. Bucky was out of the truck before I had even unbuckled and opened the door for me. I turned sideways in my seat to look down at him. He stepped up close, putting one foot on the rail and both hands on my thighs.

“Hey baby girl,” he smiled at me.

“Hey,” I leaned forward, bringing our faces closer.

On impulse, one of my hands cupped his stubbled cheek. I liked how that felt against my fingers. Bucky took the initiative then and rose up to kiss me. His lips were firm, but not demanding. I felt him squeeze my thighs before he moved back. 

“C’mon,” he grinned and helped me down. 

An arm was thrown over my shoulder and guided me to ice cream heaven. The same lady who was working on Wednesday was here again. She smiled at us when the bell over the door announced our arrival. 

“What can I get ya today?” She asked all cheery and perky.

“I’ll have a chocolate Dilly Bar, and she’ll have a small Turtle Pecan Blizzard.” Bucky fished some money out of his front pocket.

“I just gotta say, you two are cute as a button,” she smiled again and handed over our desserts.

“Thank you, ma’am,” I blushed and waved goodbye.

We walked back to the truck and leaned against it. Just like on Wednesday, I shoveled the ice cream into my mouth. 

“You say pecan funny,” I quipped. 

“What’re you talkin’ about?”

“You said Pee-CAN, it’s Pah-KAHN. I would know, it’s the Texas state tree.” I crunched down on a nut. 

“Well color me surprised doll,” Bucky rolled his eyes and I just laughed around a mouthful of ice cream.

“Though learning more about the great state of Texas is fun, it ain’t why I asked you to ice cream,” he continued.

“Oh, so that was you askin’ me to ice cream, not just tellin’ me?” I smirked at him.

“Yeah, you’ll know when I’m tellin’ ya to do somethin’,” Bucky smirked and looked over at me.

“Well, what did you wanna talk about then?” I sucked on my overly long red spoon and returned his gaze.

“You’re a real handful, you know that?” His eyes were glued to the spoon in my mouth.

I released it with a pop sound, “I’ve been told, many times, by many people.”

“I wanted to talk about Friday night.” He started. “Don’t gimme that look, baby girl. We need to talk about it.”

“Can I just shrivel up and die instead? Christ, it was so embarrassing.” I slammed the spoon into my cup.

“No, dyin’ ain’t allowed. And I didn’t think it was embarrassin’. I thought it was fuckin’ hot.” He took a bite out of his bar.

“I cried. You found that attractive?” I gave him a look that suggested he was crazy if he said yes.

“I find you attractive no matter what. What was fuckin’ hot, was watchin’ ya ride my thigh like a needy little mess, was fuckin’ hot watchin’ ya get all hot bothered from just me praisin’ ya about suckin’ me off. You tellin’ me ya hadn’t done that ever, that was fuckin’ hot. You being a virgin, fuck that’s hot. Didn’t even know I’d be into that. Knowin’ I’m gonna be your first, that gets me all hot and bothered,” Bucky stroked my flushed cheek. “You droppin’ was concernin’.”

“I didn’t fall on Friday night.” I scrunched my eyes up in confusion. 

“Not what that means doll, it just happens sometimes when things between sexual partners get really heavy or intense. It’s cause of the chemicals in your brain go into overdrive when you're going at it, then just drop, so it can make ya real emotional,” Bucky explained. “If I’d known it was your first time, I’d’a one, made sure you were sober, and two, done it somewhere at least halfway decent.”

I blushed deeper and confessed, “I wanted to go all the way ya know? Being outside didn’t bother me. I like being outside. It was just in the moment, I couldn’t figure out what to do, and then I just jumped to anything that seemed right.”

“Good to know sex outside is one of your kinks,” Bucky laughed.

“How do you know all this stuff?” I asked, hoping a bit of education would somehow make this talk easier.  _ You are also avoiding the more important question, stupid. _

“I use the internet, unlike you apparently. I also have experience with sex. I know I ain’t into like hardcore shit, but I ain’t vanilla. I know I like bein’ in control and takin’ care of ya. I like talkin’ dirty and teasin’ ya. I like the idea of reward and punishment. I like being dominant.” Bucky finished his ice cream and started chewing on the stick.

“What do you mean reward and punishment?” I took a big bite of ice cream and stared ahead, too embarrassed to think hard on it.

“Like you talking about your feelin’s yesterday and bein’ vulnerable and honest with me. That was good, therefore an ice cream reward.” Bucky gestured towards my half-empty cup. “You bottlin’ it all up and then workin’ yourself to the bone. That’s not good, therefore punishment.”

“I’m a grown woman Bucky, how on the heck would you punish me?”

“I don’t know, depends on what ya like and don’t like. Could be forcin’ ya to just sit down on the couch and let the others do chores cause you are very controllin’, or it could be me spankin’ ya or something.”

“Hmm,” I flushed.

“But like I said it depends on what ya like. I’m not gonna hurt ya. I ain’t into that or sharing by the way.” 

“Yeah, if Loki suggests I sleep with him or anyone else I might actually hit him.” I sighed around another bite of ice cream. This whole thing felt like a lot to unpack, but he still hadn’t said the one thing I need to hear. 

“So then what are we?” I forced myself to look Bucky in the eye.

“Whattaya mean doll?”

“Like is this just some fun spring fling for you or you asking me to go steady?”

“What year do you live in? Go steady?” He started to laugh but caught the look on my face. “I’ve told ya, you're my girl doll, and that means I don’t wanna see you with anyone else. I got the very weak impression on Friday night you don’t like the idea a me with bein’ with anyone else either?” He quirked an eyebrow at me.

“Did not like that one bit, but I just didn’t know what to do. Yeah we kissed, and yeah I may have suggested things, but who am I?” I flustered.

“You’re my girl, and I’m your man.” Bucky threw his arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead.

_ Yeah, I liked the sound of that. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song referenced here is Just Got Started Lovin' You by James Otto  
> Bear jam - https://troyerscountrymarket.com/bear-jam-16oz.html


	11. A New Routine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very light on the Bucky in this chapter. Some very intense emotions are had by the OFC.

Staff meetings were the devil's way of punishing teachers more than any budget cut or shift in state standards. I was sure of it. Not only were they a complete waste of time, they happened at 7:05 am sharp. There was no being late, no skipping. They completely threw off my routine at the ranch. The school year was basically over anyhow, why did we need to be here? 

There was a deep rumble in my stomach. I had missed breakfast because of this meeting. My leg jumped up and down under the table while I drank from my new extra large travel coffee mug. Tony had gotten me this mug a couple of weeks ago. It had horses running across the bottom and said Three Moons Ranch on it with my name underneath. 

Actually, he had gotten everyone at the ranch a travel mug just like this with their name on it. Branding, he said, would be good for the ranch. Mostly I thought he just liked having a cup with his name on it. I didn’t really know much about branding, but what I did know was that Bucky had scribbled ‘Bucky’s Girl’ over my name in thick black permanent marker. He was making a statement to anyone who saw the massive cup.

I also knew that Bucky was trying to drive me insane. Since our… our discussion, he’d been, well, I didn’t really know. Our relationship progressed at a slow pace. No that probably wasn’t the right way to describe, considering everything. Bucky had practically sewn us together at the hip. The only real times I ever had alone now were with during morning chores and while I was at school. He knew I liked routine. But I mean, they all knew I liked routine. But Bucky had set up a slightly new routine for me since we became _official_.

Our days went like this now -

I’d get up like normal and do morning chores. That didn’t change. Unless I asked, there was going to be no help on that front. Now though, Bucky would greet me out on the porch, dressed in boxer because he had no concept of propriety or house clothes. He’d smile and give me a kiss before we’d go inside. I would shower and get dressed for school and he would make breakfast for me, Tony, Steve, Bruce and himself. Natasha was not a morning person.

Then he’d drive me to school on his bike. One because he couldn’t drive a stick which I teased him mercilessly about. And two because he wanted to make sure Mr. Stewart saw him. Saw him drop me off, saw him kiss me goodbye, and saw him watch me walk into school. And that part was oddly comforting. It was good to know Bucky had my back.

During lunch, he’d text me. No we’d text each other. Because like all people nowadays, I was addicted to texting and struggled to not do it during school hours. I hadn’t ever really thought about it before having someone to actually talk to. It was easy with Bucky.

Then he’d pick me up after school, which still made me giddy. I’d thought the effect would wear off after a couple of weeks, but no. It was like seeing my dashing knight clad in leather and denim every afternoon coming to my rescue. 

“Are you done daydreaming?” 

“Uh, yes, sorry, sir,” I mumbled to the principal as he glared at me from his podium. 

I needed to stop reading romance novels.

I tried to focus on the meeting until school officially started, but my thoughts drifted back down the dirt road that led to the ranch. Hopping over a rusted red gate, running up the path to the house, dogs barking on either side of me. Into the arms of a man with lush, long dark brown hair. It’s half tied up, half blowing in the breeze coming through the porch. His soft t-shirt is a stark contrast to the calluses on my fingers when I grip his shoulders. Strong, firm hands sliding my dress up. Soft lips against my neck making me shiver. 

_“Are you gonna be a good girl for me?”_

A sharp thwack sounded in front of me and caused me to jump. My cheeks and neck flushed with embarrassment at my thoughts and being caught. 

“You have a class to get to,” The principal sighed disapprovingly at me before reshuffling the papers he’d hit the table.

“Yes, sir, have a nice day.” I ran out of the room clutching my coffee mug.

That was another _thing_. 

After our second ice cream date, Bucky told me to actually use the internet on my phone and look up the things he talked about. It had been my homework for the past few weeks. Trying to learn and understand the relationship dynamic he was talking about. After a week of awkward embarrassment, I actually looked things up.

I thought my face was going to burst from the blood rushing to my cheeks. I thought I would be a red faced blushy mess for the rest of my life. Bucky had assured me if I had questions, I only needed to ask. Mostly, I thought he got a kick out of my innocence and ignorance to these things. 

From reading the limited selection of romance novels I owned, I knew I liked strong, burly men. Men who were maybe even a bit dangerous. They were an unrelenting sort in the books, but I was glad Bucky wasn’t that. Also these men had a thing for intimidating their partners, using their powers both physical and social to get what they wanted. And yeah, I kinda liked the idea of that when it came to Bucky. 

From the vast internet searching I had done while hidden in the safety of my bed, I knew I liked being praised. Bucky had picked up on that near instantly that Friday night. I also looked into the Daddy thing he kept hinting at. The jury was still out on that one. I was a grown woman, I wasn’t going to be treated like a child. But the thought of being told what to do, and to be taken care of in that aspect of my life… felt really good. Usually, I was making choices and watching how they affect others and my own life. Owning the ranch was a tremendous responsibility. The idea of giving up that control, for even a short time, to someone I trusted made me feel all warm and fuzzy. 

I also learned that some people were very intense. The things a person could have done to them or do to other people for the sake of sexual pleasure were immense and scary. When I had found the courage to talk to Bucky about it, I just wanted to die on the spot. He just gave me that marshmallow grin and answered my questions, being very clear that he didn’t want to hurt me or do anything I wasn’t 100% on board with. Why was it so easy for him to talk about this?

===============================

**_You-_ ** _You have corrupted me so much I’m having inappropriate thoughts at school_

_**Bucky-** _

_**** _

_**You-** don’t ruin a perfectly acceptable movie for me please _

_**Bucky-** aren’t you supposed to be teaching small humans the importance of pecans or to remember the alamo right now baby girl? _

_**You-** … maybe _

===============================

I’d taken to bringing my phone to the cafeteria during my lunch break. The device created a barrier between me and the other teachers. It wasn’t that I couldn’t form polite conversation with them, it was just that I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to talk about their super fun summer plans anymore. I didn’t need to hear about how so and so was going to Cancun or how someone else had scored tickets to a festival in Austin. I was going to be doing the same thing I did every summer, working. Like I do every other day.

There was a buzz in my lap. Bucky finally responded to his turn in Words with Friends. I scoff at the short word he played before I dragged my small letter pieces across the screen. I locked the screen and put the device back in my lap. If I didn’t focus on the hot food in front of me, I’d end up the congealed chicken and gravy and rock hard mash potatoes again. 

A pair of overwashed khakis step into my view. The man was relentless and more than a bit stupid. Mr. Stewart had made no efforts to touch me or bother my person since Easter, but he’d made it his mission in life to verbal harass me. Natasha had to tell me that’s what he was doing, that he was trying to use some kind of power play to degrade and control me. Even at college, I’d never had this issue. I’d heard about it sure, but things like that just didn’t happen around here as far as I knew. 

Then again, here I was staring at the obnoxious ‘God Bless America’ belt buckle attached to a man I wished would just walk off the edge of the earth. I gripped the phone in my lap.

“So darlin’, what were ya thinkin’ ‘bout this mornin’? You seemed awful preoccupied,” He drawled out.

_Don’t respond, don’t speak to him, don’t look at him. He doesn’t exist._

The stupid buckle shifted out of my vision and his ruddy, round face entered it. My hand on the table froze over my fruit cocktail cup. He picked up the cookie on my tray. I watched the stubby fingers squeeze down on a chocolate chip, smearing it over a digit. I watched chapped lips open and revealed tobacco stained teeth. I watched my cookie disappear into that disgusting mouth. 

“You were thinkin’ about fuckin’ that thug weren’t ya?”

Crumbs spewed across the table, some landing on my lunch. The fork in my hand wobbled over my cocktail. A chunk of cookie slowly sank through the thick syrup to the bottom of the cup. 

“You know what’s gonna happen dontcha? He’s gonna use ya up and throw ya away.”

The stubby, chocolate smeared finger entered his mouth. There was a sucking sound, followed by a firm, wet pop. 

“What’re ya gonna do when you're nothing but a used up pussy? No ones gonna want you.”

The now spit covered finger tapped the end of my fork. 

“Think about that darlin’.”

When I was certain he was gone, I stood up and dumped my half-eaten food. My fingers ached with how tightly a clenched my phone. The impassive, nonchalant walk and look I had forced myself to learn these past few weeks took over. My limbs moved me to the faculty bathroom. The one furthest from the cafeteria. The slow click of my boots on the linoleum was a far cry from my racing thoughts.

I opened the door to the women’s restroom and promptly locked it. My phone was set on the sink ledge. My braid was wrapped around my hand. My stomach was emptied. Even when the food was gone, the bile was still burning my nose and throat with each contraction my stomach made. Fluid dripped from every orifice on my face. When the muscles in my abdomen relaxed, I still felt like I couldn’t trust them. My tears dripped into the acrid smelling porcelain bowl. 

Shaky knees and elbows brought me back to my feet. I pulled the plunge of the toilet and watched the only meal I’d eaten today get flushed away. Not that it mattered now. I wasn’t hungry. I turned on the cold tap and rinsed out my mouth. I pulled rough paper towels from the metal canister and rubbed them over my face before I splashed more cold water on it. I repeated the process until I felt like my skin was on fire. 

There was a buzz, then another and another and another. My phone, I had gotten a text.

===============================

Text from “Da Family”

_**Clint-** Dinner poll _

_**Clint-** Sloppy joes or tacos _

_**Tony-** _🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

_**Bruce-** tacos _

_**Natasha-** whos cooking _

_**Thor-** Loki and I _

_**Natasha-** good, I don’t want to eat another burnt dinner _

_**Dallas-** it was one fucking time _

_**Bucky-** it was enough _

_**Bucky-** _

_**** _

_**Steve-** where do you even find these gifs _

_**Bucky-** wouldn’t you like to know _

_**Sam-** why do none of you like sloppy joes? _

_**Rhodey-** its the name _

_**Tony-** also @BuckysGirl, what do you want to eat? _

_**You-** tacos are fine _

===============================

I remembered standing up in front of my class. I remembered the sweat dripping down the back of my summer dress. I remembered the shake of my hands while I held the dry erase marker. 

The day drove on, I recapped a group of seven years olds on the difference between 2D and 3D shapes and had them name each object, passing around plastic models. We practiced addition and subtraction before moving on to science. We talked about the natural world and I let them ask me questions while I answered. Showing them how to formulate questions and communicate ideas that may seem complex, but can easily be deconstructed. 

Then the bell rang and it was 3 pm. It was time to go home. Each of my students raced to their little cubbies and grabbed their backpacks. They all tumbled out of the room, in a rush to enjoy the blossoming Texas summer. I sat back in my seat and waited. Waited for the phone on my desk to buzz with a text from Bucky that he was outside. I graded homework while waiting, happily adding stickers to students' work where they had done well or improved significantly. I made notes in my grade book for students who needed some extra help. 

Finally, my phone vibrated and the screen lit up. It’s 3:30 pm, that’s pretty late for Bucky.

===============================

_**Steve-** Bucky got called out on a job and had to leave. Who do you want to pick you up? _

_**You-** No worries, the walk will do me some good. _

_**Steve-** You sure? _

_**You-** Yeah, I’m grown woman Stevie _

_**You-** I also have my knife despite it being against school policy. _🙃🙃🙃

_**Steve-** Text if you need anything. Keep your phone with you. _

_**You-** Okie dokie, leaving now. I should be home in about an hour. _

===============================

Ungraded quizzes were shoved into my backpack along with my coffee mug. The sigh that left my lips was heavy. This wasn’t the first time Bucky had gone off on a job. The other times it had happened, I’d known in advance. I just drove the truck to work those days. Was walking really that big of an issue for me today? Or was it the thought of being alone with myself for that long walk home that was bothering me? Or was it the fact that as I walked out my classroom, locked the doors, and wandered out into the world again, Bucky wouldn’t be there with that big dumb marshmallow grin of his?

I shook my head. _Don’t be stupid. You’ve got to get it together for the rest of the gang. They didn’t stay at the ranch to manage your problems. They came to have a safe place to stay. That’s what you are for them. A safe place._

I pulled my sunglasses on and started walking home. The afternoon sun burned my exposed arms and face. Straps dug into the tender flesh on the inside of my arm. Drops of sweat began to pool around my lower back and neck. My phone felt hot in my hand, but I refused to put it away. 

At the junction to turn down the dirt road to the ranch, I stopped. Something was off. There weren’t sounds of cars rolling by, going on their merry way. There was a car slowing at the junction. It was a beige, nondescript Dodge Neon. 

_This guy isn’t gonna give me a break today._

I swung my backpack around and scrambled for my knife while keeping my phone clutched in my hand. Once the soft blue handle rested in my fist, I felt a bit calmer. I kept my bag clutched to my front and continued walking.

Mr. Stewart was following me home. I knew he didn’t live on this side of town. He was making an effort to scare me while I was alone. How far was he going to go?

“You need a ride home darlin’?”

I was nearly home already. This was the short end of the walk. He had driven behind me for that long and just watched me. I kept walking. The dirt under my feet crunched, but not as loud as the sound of tires on the ground. 

“Hey, I’m talkin’ ta ya,” He shouted from the window. 

“Go away Stewart,” I sneered.

My fists gripped tighter around the objects in my hand. A new kind of tightness was forming in my chest. 

“Now, come on you don’t mean that. I know that white trash your hangin’ round ain’t been nice ta ya. I saw those bruises after Easter. He get mad at ya for flirtin’ with me?”

I wanted to run, but my feet were like lead weights. I continued to trudge down the path. I wasn’t going to show him how much he bothered.

“Get the fuck away from me Stewart. I don’t want ya anywhere near me. Why can’t you get that through your thick fucking skull?” I scowled at the man leaning out of the window. 

“Really, cause I think you want me. I think you’re trying to use that dirty farmhand to make me jealous.”

My skin crawled. Bile rose in my throat. Why the fuck did he think that? Any moment I was sure the phone in my hand would fall to the ground with how sweaty my fingers felt.

The ranch sign came into view over the horizon. 

“If ya ever need a ride,” he paused, letting the meaning of his words and his eyes trail over my body, “let me know.”

I brought my fingers to my lips and let out a shrill whistle. There was an immediate barking of dogs. _Thank christ they’re outside._ I watched my good boys whip down the yard and jump through the fence. Before Mr. Stewart had even rolled up his window completely, Tequila and Whiskey were at my side. Both dogs growled at the stranger and I didn’t stop them. Whiskey went so far as to snarl and snap his jaws at the vehicle. This caused him to jump, despite his glass shield. 

I stayed at the edge of the ranch until the compact car was speeding down the dirt path away from my house. 

Surprisingly, my knees didn't give out until I was in my bedroom. I waved at the occupants in the living room, I even made a comment about chores, I think. The dogs herded me to the bathroom, sensing my uneasy stomach. For the second time that day, I retched until the muscles in my abdomen ached. Tequila whimpered next to me, nudging my arm until I lifted my head away from the seat. I sat with my back against the tub and tried to slow my breathing. Both dogs started licking my face.

That helped me calm down. That brought the smile back to me. I rubbed both of their heads before I got up to brush my teeth. In the mirror, I looked like a mess. I tried to ignore it. If I pretended to be fine until Bucky got back, then we’d talk about it. I wasn’t going to bother him. He was doing a job and I needed to do mine. 

I pulled on my work jeans and an old t-shirt before barreling down the stairs with dogs under my feet. 

“Has the garden been water today?” I asked no one in particular.

“Yeah, did it this morning after breakfast,” Bruce confirmed.

“Cool, thank you,” I smiled at Bruce. 

“Do you want us to help with Chores?” Tony volunteered. 

That made me pause. Tony, as nice and helpful as he was in his own way, never asked if I wanted help with manual labor. 

“Uh, yeah, if someone could take care of the chickens that would be great.”

“You heard the boss lady, bird brain. You are on chicken duty,” Tony shouted to Clint. 

A small laugh passed over my lips as I opened the door and screen to the porch. I sat down and slipped my boots on while Clint silently grumbled next to me. Clint hated chicken duty. The dogs still weren’t listening to him so it meant he had to chase them all by himself. 

“Let me know if you have any issues,” I waved him off and went to work. 

===============================

There weren’t enough tortillas in the world to fill the empty pit in my stomach. The hunger in me came out of nowhere. Well, not nowhere. I had essentially not eaten today after throwing up twice. I reached for a fifth shell and started filling it with cheese, spicy ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, hot sauce. 

“You still do the ice cream cake thing?” Dallas asked.

“Ice cream cake?” Loki raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Memaw’d always get us an ice cream cake from the DQ for our birthdays,” Dallas explained. 

“Birthday?” Tony nearly shouted.

“Yeah, it’s on Saturday, ain’t it Sis?”

I held my eye roll in. I wanted to enjoy my tacos in peace. It had been a rough day. 

“Yeah,” I grunted and took a huge bite of my taco.

“And you were going to tell us when?” Tony spluttered.

“I wasn’t if I’m honest. Haven’t really been in a celebratin’ mood recently.”

True statement. I had been feeling worse and worse. The weight of keeping my problems to myself was getting to me. I didn’t need Steve ordering Dallas to kill a man. I didn’t need Bucky putting himself at risk on my behalf. This was supposed to be a safe place.

“Unacceptable. No child of mine will go without a birthday party.”

“Tony,” I started.

“Agreed, we have to throw a party,” Loki grinned

“You need to live a little Luna,” Natasha kicked my foot under the table. “You’re only young once.”

“Thor, Loki, Dallas, and I are now the party planning committee. There is no room for argument unless you wanna join,” Tony gave me a smug look of victory.

“We should start on Friday night. I’m sure the County Line folks will be happy to have us and celebrate with us.” Thor reasoned.

“You just wanna see if Jane will actually take you home this time.” Sam laughed.

“No, I agree we should start there. It technically closes after midnight so we could...” Tony said thoughtfully. The wheels in his brain suddenly moving at maximum effort.

“Is there anything you want specifically Luna?” Steve asked. 

To not have a party. To not have the spotlight put on me again. To eat my fucking tacos in peace.

“Ice cream cake from the DQ,” I grumbled and made another taco. 

===============================

My nighttime routine changed tonight. Bucky wasn’t there, so it meant no one to lean against while I graded papers in the dying heat of the day. It meant no warm lingering good night kisses when I finally needed to get some sleep. It meant I didn’t watch him disappear into the darkness as he walked back to the farmhands' house. Except for Friday nights when I’d undoubtedly invite everyone to stay in the house, Bucky didn’t stay in my room. He said it was because he didn’t want to hear my alarm go off every morning at 4:15, but I knew it was because he didn’t want me to feel pressured. Everything was my choice. 

The hot weather meant double showering until school was out. I didn’t mind it too much tonight. It gave me yet another reason to escape the deep planning session happening around the supper table. It was like they were planning for war. I stepped out of the steaming bathroom and into my cool air-conditioned room. Goosebumps rose on my arms and legs. I reached under my pillow and pulled out my sleep shirt. 

That wasn’t my shirt. That’s Bucky’s. It smelled like him, like Old Spice and safety. The towel was ripped off my head and I slipped the shirt over myself. The soft black shirt had a dissolved graphic printed on the front of it. It hung loosely around my body, the hem hit just below my butt. I pulled the covers back and got into bed to grade quizzes until my eyes hurt, a small smile on my face. 

Around 11 pm, a thought came to me. I looked at the device charging on my bedside table. Passcode entered, the camera opened, I took a picture of myself. My eyes were heavy with sleep. Still damp hair laid around my shoulders. The small smile played across my lips. Bucky’s shirt was obvious.

_**You-** I really needed this today_ ❤️ [Image attached]

I didn’t expect Bucky to respond. Normally when he went off on a job, it meant radio silence until he was done. Because when he was called out on a job, it was never to do anything easy or nice. There was no rule that said I couldn’t text him when he was on a job, but that I shouldn’t expect a reply. 

_**Bucky-** _

__

_**Bucky-** you doing okay baby girl? _

_**You-** Just a very trying day _

_**Bucky-** did some kid ask about sex again? _

_**You-** I’d much rather have dealt with that today _

_**Bucky-** do you need me to call? _

Did I **_need_ ** Bucky to call me? No. Did I _want_ him to call me? Yes. 

_**You-** It’s all good. _

_**You-** be safe_ ❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we will get some good fun, promise.
> 
> also, headcanon of mine - Bucky is the King of Gifs


	12. Fightin', Makin' Out, and Mayhem

Friday was the last day of school. It was also a half-day, which meant at noon the kids in my classes exploded. They rushed out of the room and I sat back to enjoy a final moment of peace. The past few days had been horrible. The stress of final tests, then grading those tests and getting everything finished for report cards forced me to pull extremely long days. I just wanted a nap at this point.

However, Natasha was picking me up at 1:30 pm for some sort of secret girls outing. I worked on cleaning up my classroom until then. Posters were removed from the walls and tucked into drawers. I locked away all my files for safekeeping until July. I had cleared my desk out yesterday, taking home the few things that I didn’t want to live without. 

My phone buzzed and a text from Natasha said she was outside waiting. I did one final sweep of the room, locked up my door, and rushed outside. Giddy as the school kids to be done with this fresh hell for a few months. No more seeing that horrible walking sack of horse crap every day. 

“So where are we going?” I asked Natasha when she handed me a helmet. 

“You need a birthday outfit. I’m not watching you wear that picnic bitch dress again tonight.”

“I thought you said you liked that dress?” Concern seeped into my voice. She was my friend, I trusted her opinion of my only going out outfit. 

“I do, but it’s your birthday. You should go all out.” 

So off we went to the Goodwill. There wasn’t time to go to the city and shop and then get back in time for chores. The store had the musty old clothes smell I was familiar with. We wandered the racks and racks of outdated and downright hideous articles of clothing. 

“What do you think of this one?” I held up a long deep purple dress.

“It’s not Halloween.”

“What do you think of this top?” Natasha held what looked more like a mess of string than a top.

“I’m not wearing a fishing net on my birthday.” I laughed.

We wandered some more, deeper into the store, searching for anything worthwhile. 

“Natasha, you’re in the pajama section,” I remarked, swiping through another rack of boring skirts and bottoms.

“Yeah, yeah, just wait,” she waved me off.

My eyes were getting tired of staring at the different shades of busted in denim. Based on Natasha's insistence that I go all out for this, I doubt going full Daisy Duke would be acceptable. I pulled out a black denim skirt from the rack. This could be a contender. I held on to it while I continued to shop. 

“Here, I know exactly what you’re gonna wear.” A ball of baby blue silk flew at my face.

The smooth slinky fabric unfolded in my hands as I held up the dress. It was absolutely a dress not meant to leave the bedroom.

“Do you want me to be allowed into the bar? It’s not a strip club,” I picked at the hem, trying to find any damage, any reason for this to not be okay. 

“Oh, you’ll have no problem getting in. Put down everything you’ve picked up, go try that on.”

There was no arguing with her, so I tried on the lingerie. And of course, she was right. Natasha just seemed to get it. She was the smart friend I was glad I didn’t have in high school. Regular me couldn’t handle being compared to her, god forbid how hormonal and awkward me would have handled having a friend like her around. 

The dress was carefully folded up and it only cost $7! Natasha slapped a $10 bill onto the counter and stuck the change into the POW-MIA donation canister at the till. 

===============================

Natasha said I could wear her boots tonight if she could wear my wedges. I wasn’t sure that black leather boots would go with the light blue silk, but she assured me it was the little oompf the outfit would need to take it from the bedroom to the dance floor. 

_ Nothing to be nervous about, this is totally fine. You don’t look like a child. You are a grown woman. You have sex appeal and are desirable. You are a confident and strong woman. I’m a boss bitch. Just like the song Tony is blasting through the house says. I definitely don’t look like a prostitute right now. _

The silk fabric slid against my softened skin with ease. Natasha had shoved a handful of products at me after dinner, saying to use as much of them as I wanted. Where she got all this stuff, I had no clue. She must have bought all of it after I made the deal with Steve for them to all stay. She was buying things to keep here, in her home.

I used the moisture all over my body and applied a small amount of the shimmer to my cheekbones. When I looked in the vanity it was like a different person was staring at me. I had a few braided strands pinned back with Memaw’s floral clips to show off my face. The thought that I looked ethereal flitted through my mind.

My fingers felt the floral lace detail that splayed across the scoop neckline. It was delicate, like the rest of the dress, and the opposite of how I felt. There was a flutter in my stomach. I felt exposed in this dress. The thin spaghetti straps that didn’t stay up were different from the ones on my checked dress. This dress seemed designed to fall off or be wrenched up. The dress was short to begin with, yet there was still a slit on the left side that went clean up to the bottom edge of my panties. I would definitely flash someone if the night got too heavy. 

At least I had a bra on. No, not a bra. Another gift from Natasha had been some kind of tap to lift my boobs up and cover my nipples. They were sticky. I dreaded the thought of taking them off.

To make matters worse, I was walking around in my thick boot socks. No amount of fashion was worth blisters, but right now it painted the image of a child playing dress-up. I didn’t want to go downstairs like this. A panicky energy made me pace back and forth in front of the vanity. The soft swish of the silk made me even more anxious. What if they made fun of me?

_ It was time to go. It was 9 pm. I can do this, I’m just going out drinking with my friends. Who are all adults. Just like me. I’m an adult. I’m a grown woman. A strong, independent woman who can wear whatever she wants. _

I checked my reflection one more time in the vanity and let out a sigh. Let the humiliation begin. 

“Who’s birthday is it supposed to be again?” Loki’s eyes crawled over me as I descended the stairs.

“Ha, ha Loki,” I mocked, but instinctively covered my front.

Natasha walked into the living room wearing a white fitted dress with cut out bits that revealed and accentuated her waist. That was why she wanted my wedges. Biker boots would not have gone with that dress.

_ Christ, I can’t compete with that.  _

“Steve, look away, you’re eyes are too pure for this,” Tony slapped his hand over Steve’s face while the bearded man laughed.

“You look very nice ladies,” Rhodey, ever the polite and sensible man of the gang, commented.

“Thanks, Rhodey,” I smiled. 

I shoved my feet into Natasha’s boots. They fit just like another boot, but she was right. They did give me a bit of oompf. They made me feel a bit more secure in this dress. And that if anyone got handsy, the steel toe in them could really cause some damage.

“Alright, who is riding in the truck and how is sitting in the back?” I asked, picking up my phone and keys. 

“Look at this hair, does it look like I’m gonna sit in the bed of a truck for 20 minutes?” Natasha smirked, leather jacket in one hand, and slung an arm around me. She smelled nice. “Let’s let the boys fight over who’s sitting bitch.”

So we just walked out of the house to a group of grown men arguing about their hair. 

“How are things with you and Buck going?” Natasha asked.

“Good, I think,” I stopped in front of the truck. “Why?”

“Just haven’t seen him staying in the house much is all,” she shrugged.

“I, we just,” I blushed.

“You know it’s fine to be a virgin right? No one’s gonna judge you.” She leaned against the truck and watched the porch light flicker.

“Of course I know that,” I folded my arms across my chest. Why didn’t I bring a jacket?

“Just so we are clear if Bucky ever does push you, just let me know. I’ll take care of him for you,” she smiled at me. 

“If anything, it will be me pushing Bucky at this rate.”

“I bet he loves that,” she laughed. 

“Do you know when he’s supposed to get back?” I asked.

“Nah, you’ll have to ask Steve on that one.”

I hummed a response and continued to stare at the porch, waiting for the boys to come outside.

“Do you have a blanket in the truck?” she asked.

“Yeah, why?” 

“I didn’t wear this dress for nothing,” she winked at me. “Bruce isn’t easy to rile up, but once he gets going, there’s no stopping him.”

“Just wash it for me will ya?” I laughed.

Finally, the rest of the group came outside. I opened the door and got behind the wheel. The tailgate was dropped and the boys piled into the back. Rhodey slid across the bench seat into the small middle spot. 

“And how did you win inside privileges?” Natasha asked after she slammed the door shut. 

“Windows open,” I commented, starting the vehicle and cranking down the driver's side window and opening the back window.

“Easy, once Steve said he was fine with sitting in the back, Tony stopped fighting. Thor, Sam, and Clint refused to sit in the middle, so it was just me, Dallas, and Loki fighting for the seat. I beat them at rock, paper, scissors. Simple as that.” Rhodey grinned. 

“Well, now you can fight Natasha for control of the radio.” I drove us down the path to the gate and waited for one of the boys to unlock it. 

Once they were back in the truck, off we went down the road to the bar. The music was so loud I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts. But they liked it that way. They wanted songs to pump them up for a good night. I wasn’t gonna argue tonight. I didn’t want to think about my birthday or Bucky not being here. 

_ Cowgirls don't cry, ride, baby, ride _

_ Lessons in life are gonna- _

  
  


“Change the station,” I shouted when the song filtered through my ears.

“Why?” Rhodey flicked the dial anyway.

“Its shit,” was the explanation I gave. 

That song always made me cry. Reminded me of Papaw and growing up. I wasn’t gonna cry tonight. The new radio station cut to a rock n roll song, ‘Sharp Dressed Man’ by ZZ Top.

_ That’s more like it. _

===============================

A plastic crown was put on my head the moment I stepped into the bar. Trixie and Gloria were at their normal station, but they had a massive fishbowl sat on the corner of the bar. Before heading over to our usual table, I walked up the bar and eyed the bowl until they were done serving some other patrons.

“Well hello princess,” Trixie preened and leaned over the bar to hug me. 

“How you doin’?” I asked. 

“Oh, we are doing fabulous, like always girlie. Don’t you worry.”

“I gotta ask, what’s with the bowl? You doing something new?”

“This is for you,” she passes the bowl to me. “Better get your boys to start drinkin’. You ain’t gettin’ your prezzie until this is full.”

“And what present would that be?” I clutched the bowl to my chest.

“Don’t ruin the fun,” Gloria popped up around Trixie. “We are celebratin’ your birthday the County Line way. So what’re you startin’ off with?” 

“Let’s get 11 shots of tequila,” I rolled my eyes, but smiled either way.

“You better make it 12,” A strong arm snaked around my waist.

When I turned, my fishbowl nearly knocked him over. He wore black jeans, a pristine white t-shirt, and his leather jacket. I nearly dropped my bowl. He was a vision.

“Bucky,” I squealed and put the bowl back on the bar. 

He pulled me into a kiss. It was quick and hard. I grinned big enough to make my cheek hurt. His stormy blues eyes danced over my face and down to my dress. A smug look settled on his face when he saw my silly crown. His hand was splayed across my low back, keeping my front pressed against him. Bucky smelled like sweat, leather, and the road. He was here.

The sound of plastic dropping into the fishbowl broke me out of his spell. A small pile of poker chips was now in the bowl.

“12 tokens for 12 drinks princess,” Trixie grinned and passed the tray of shots to Bucky.

“C’mon baby girl, let’s get your bowl filled up.” 

I lead the way to our table. I could feel Bucky’s eyes on my back. God, I hoped he liked this dress. That was what I needed to hear from him. I needed his approval. I needed to know.

The gang was crowded into the booth, all with some level of a devious smile on their face. They set up the fishbowl. This had been their idea. After the first Friday, we’d all gone out, I had held back from drinking as much. Someone had to be in control.

“Well look who it is?” Loki grinned even bigger if that was possible.

“Ya know, I just found this guy at the bar, and thought he looked fun,” I teased. 

I set my fishbowl in the center of the table as I scooted into the booth next to Sam. Bucky passed around the shots. 

“Let part one of my child’s birthday celebration begin!” Tony cheers-ed and down the first shot of the night went. 

The comforting burn of tequila trickled down my throat. I stared hard at the fishbowl, trying to think of how many drinks we were going to have to get before it was full. It was going to be a long night.

Bucky’s arm was securely anchored around my shoulder while we're at the booth. His thumb grazed over my shoulder occasionally or he’d play with my hair. I leaned into his side, enjoying heat radiating off his body. I missed that. I let my drink-free hand fall onto his thigh. 

“Bucky, she’s cheating. She can’t be this good,” Sam whined, downing another shot.

“Stop playing quarters with her then dude,” Bucky laughed.

“Are you quieting Wilson?” I teased, teetering somewhere between buzzed and tipsy.

“No, give me that fucking quarter. You are getting shit faced tonight if it’s the last thing I do,” He made grabby hands. 

Sam missed, so the quarter was passed around the table until Natasha landed the quarter in the empty shot glass. 

“Bottoms up, Luna,” she smiled. 

The drink went down with ease and I slammed the glass back on the table. Thor went next and landed the quarter in the glass. 

“Luna,” he waved a hand at me to take another shot.

“This is bullying,” I stuck my tongue out, but took the shot. 

In the next three rounds, I’d taken another two shots and was firmly in tipsy territory. 

“How many drinks have I had?” I stared harder at the half-full fishbowl at the table.

“I think 7?” Bucky squeezed my arm. 

“Okay, stop me at 12. I start making bad choices after that normally.”

“No, no,” Loki waved a finger in my face. “There is no stopping.”

A mischievous grin sprouted on his lips. 

“I’d like to make a toast and share some news,” Loki thrust his pint into the air. “Happy birthday to our patron saint Luna. And I’ve just learned that after 12 drinks she starts getting fun, so let the challenge begin.”

“You’ve been warned then,” I shrugged and raised my own tumbler to meet with the rest of the gang. 

Somewhere around drink 11, maybe, our order was upped from 12 to 14 because two women joined our group. The one hanging onto Thor was called Jane, and the other who Loki was firmly latched onto was called Darcy… I think. 

“Fuck if I know,” I said. 

“She’s cursing. The drinking is working!” Clint laughed. 

“You doing okay doll?” Bucky turned me to look at him. 

“No, but that’s okay. You’re here,” I cupped his face. 

“Bathroom break!” Natasha shouted and shoved everyone out of the booth. She grabbed my wrist and I grabbed Darcy’s because why not and then suddenly all four of us were huddled in the women’s toilet. 

“Are we doing lines?” Darcy asked.

“NO,” I gasped. 

“No, little miss here can’t do drugs.”

“I also just want to say, I don’t want to do drugs either,” Jane swayed slightly.

“Okay, the two of you need to pee.” Natasha shoved me into the far stall. 

I needed to pee anyway so when in Rome yeah?

“What kind of bad choice do you make after 12 drinks Luna?” Natasha asked.

“Startin’ fights, makin’ out, general public mayhem mostly,” I sighed. 

“Ha, that’s great, I need to see that,” Darcy laughed.

“If Loki has anything to say about you will,” I flushed the toilet, feeling much better.

“Have you used the blanket yet Natasha?” I asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she smirked at me. 

“What blanket?” Jane came out of the bathroom stall.

“Natasha’s called dibs, so you can’t know about it tonight.” I sighed. 

“Okay, outfit check,” Darcy called. “Nips are tucked in, zippers done up, makeup in place. Let’s go get some dick.”

“I like her,” I whispered to Natasha.

I got lost somehow on the way back to the table and ended up at the bar. It was nice to have a moment away. I rubbed the back of my neck and waited to be served. There was a real crowd out tonight. Must have been people celebrating the end of the school year and the start of summer. I let myself sway to the music and bobbed my head. 

“Hey princess, let us buy you a drink?” I turned to see two lanky guys lean against the bar to the right of me. 

“Fuck it, dudes, it’s my birthday,” I shouted and grinned. 

“Well ain’t that nice.”

“Gloria, my favorite lady, I would like a margarita on the rocks, on these guys’ tab.” I grinned when she turned to take my order. She raised an elegantly penciled eyebrow at me but made the drink anyway. 

“Thanks,” One of them said around a sip of beer.

“Do I get a token for this one?” I asked. 

“How many have you had tonight princess?” Gloria passed me the tumbler.

“This is 10 I think?” I was struggling to keep track.

Gloria gave me one more look, then turned to serve another customer. I took a long slurp of the drink. I was about to be on my merry way when a hand landed on my arm. 

“No thank you,” I shrugged the hand away and took the final slurp of my drink. 

“Why don’t you hang out with us for a while, darlin’?” The hand grabbed my wrist when I set the drink down. The pet name rubbed me the wrong way.

“I said no dude,” I gave him a stern, albeit drunk, look and pulled my hand free. 

“We’ll show you a good time,” the second dude touched my exposed thigh.

“C’mon ‘ere,” I slurred and turned to face him. 

He leaned his gross smelling face into mine. I put my hand on the side of his face and shoved into the edge of the bar as hard as I could. The one behind made an indigent noise. I grabbed the glass I’d set down and tossed the ice behind my shoulder in his general direction. I turned to face him. He spluttered something I couldn’t understand, but it sounded angry. A giggle escaped my mouth.

I made a move back to the table then. I needed to tell Bucky what I did, he’d get a kick out of it, I was sure. The spluttering wet friend tried to grab me for some reason. I don’t know why he did that, but it fucked me off. I reeled around and broke my glass over his head. 

“Shit dude I thought I put that down,” I laughed hard this time as the guy stumbled. “I guess I did now.” 

“Trixie, get Ashley, she’s had more than 12 drinks.” I heard Gloria call out to her partner. 

“Can I have my token now?” I asked, completely unphased by the commotion I had caused.

“As long as you go sit down, you little trouble maker.” She smirked and passed three poker chips to me. 

I skipped through the crowd and back to the table. The tokens were dropped into the fishbowl and I plopped down on Bucky's lap. 

“Where did you get those, doll?” Bucky wrapped his arm around me and settled his chin on my shoulder.

“Two dudes bought me a drink,” I smiled while he stiffened.

“And where is that drink now?” He sounded concerned.

“Oh, I drank it at the bar with them.”

Bucky squeezed me a bit tighter and I hummed, enjoying the pressure around my waist. I wiggled until my back was fully pressed against his front. Ashley soon came up to our table with the two dudes. Both of them had paper towels filled with ice on their head. My hand was slapped over my mouth to hide my smile.

“Apologies,” He growled and gave each of them a shake. 

“Sorry,” they grumbled. 

“Keep an eye on her will ya? I don’t want to have to take out any more trash,” Ashley looked at Bucky.

“Will do,” Bucky waved as the bouncer drug the dudes out of the bar. 

Everyone looked at me. I grabbed Bucky’s beer and took a swig. I looked back at them.

“I warned you all, I don’t know why you’re surprised,” I laughed at their stunned looks.

“Oh, this is truly excellent.” Loki snickered.

“Doll, what did you do?”

“C’mon, spill it,” Tony leaned against the table. 

“Well we went to the bathroom to pee, not do lines,” I patted Bucky’s arm. “And after I wandered up the bar to get another drink, and those guys offered to buy me one. I was like fuck it why not? Free drink, more tokens. I want my present. And Gloria was there so I wasn’t worried. I downed my margarita, said thanks, and tried to leave. I’d had my drink, I didn’t fuckin’ need them anymore. One of them grabbed my arm and I was like no thank you. And when I tried to leave again, the other guy touched my leg. I said no again, but he just wasn’t listenin’. When they wouldn’t let it go, I slammed his face into the bar. Then I threw the ice in my drink at the other guy to make sure he got the message. But that guy tried to grab me too so I broke my glass over his head. Then I came back here because I wanted to tell ya how good I was,” I said with a triumphant smile.

“Oh my god,” Darcy laughed.

And soon we were all laughing. I felt really light and amazing. Bucky kept me firmly in place on his lap. I was switched from margaritas to Coronas with lime at some point, but I didn’t mind. Bucky was rubbing tiny circles on my side and his beard tickled my shoulder. Then the band started playing a song I liked. 

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, dance with me please,” I pleaded and tried to get off his lap. 

“You better get ready Buck,” Natasha teased while Darcy and Jane giggled. 

I pulled Bucky into the crush of people on the dance floor. He gripped my hips as I swayed against him to the beat of the music. I smiled and wrapped my hand around his neck to keep him close to me. That was all I craved. Bucky’s hand on me. Bucky’s body pressed against mine. He bit down playful on my neck and I preened. I closed my eyes and absorbed this moment of blissful freeness. I wasn’t thinking about anything but his body on mine. 

“You look so beautiful, baby girl,” he whispered into my ear. 

As the song shifted to something slower, I turned his arms to face him. Bucky’s eyes were dark and staring at me with an intensity that made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I placed my hands on his neck and we swayed for a moment before I pulled his lips down to mine. I chased the taste of tequila on his lips. He bit my bottom lip. A whimper caught in the back of my throat as Bucky’s tongue slid between my lips. I let him explore the reaches of my mouth, enjoying the feel and taste of him in me. When I started to suckle on his tongue, he broke the kiss off. 

“We gotta stop baby girl, or I’m gonna take ya right here in front of everyone,” He panted against my lips. I made a pouting sound and he chuckled.

“Let’s get you another drink, and have a breather,” He wrapped his arm around me and guided me to the bar.

We ordered water. Which was probably sensible, until Loki and Darcy strolled up to the bar and demanded we do shots with them. I gave Bucky a smirk and clinked my glass with Darcy’s before taking the shot. Fuck my liver. 

===============================

I invited Darcy and Jane back to the ranch because we reached the mayhem stage of the evening. Why not invite complete stranges back? Thor and Loki were completely on board with the idea and Steve was more worried about keeping drunk Tony in the trailer than about me having people over. 

Bucky enjoyed having to hold me still while I animatedly talked and shouted about anything. I frequently felt his lips spread into a smile on my neck before pressing a kiss on my skin. I had an opinion on everything at the moment. Sam asked me how I felt about green beans and I ranted for 10 minutes about how they were the superior bean. 

Once we reached the ranch, I climbed up to the tractor and thanked Ashley for being in my life. I gave him a huge hug and clambered down. 

“Are you gonna cry?” Sam teased.

“Fuck you, Sam,” I flipped him off and flip-flopped over the gate into the ranch. I waited for the other to enter, trying not to laugh at their struggles. 

“It may be your birthday, but I will spank you,” Bucky threatened when I laughed at him falling off the gate. 

“Is that a promise?” I teased, helping him off the ground.

“You guys are kinky aren’t you,” Darcy came up next to us.

“I’m a virgin,” I stated, very matter-a-factly. 

“You are definitely lying,” she laughed.

“I don’t lie, I just don’t tell the whole truth.”

“Well that’s not a weird thing to say,” Darcy walked over to find Loki.

As we walked up to the house, I was struck with an amazing(!) idea. I walked through the house and straight to the kitchen. I didn’t even take Natasha’s boots off. Drawers were being flung open in my search. I could hear people settling in the living room. 

When I had what I was looking for I grabbed one of Steve's old newspapers and walked out the kitchen door. The dogs followed me outside and nipped at my hand to give them attention. 

“Ssshhh,” I huffed and tossed a log into the pit. 

I stacked them up in a conical shape around crumpled newspaper sheets. I doused the logs with a squirt of lighter fluid.

“Baby girl, what are ya doin’?” Bucky called from the kitchen doorway. 

I flicked the long candlestick lighter in several places to start the fire. 

“Summonin’ the God of S’mores.” I giggled. 

The logs burst into flames and soon there was a raging fire behind me. My long shadow was cast against the house. Bucky’s skin glowed and waved a yellow orange in this light. 

“And who is the God of S’mores?”

“You obviously,” I walked up to him and beamed.

“Is that so?” He grinned.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re my marshmallow.” I nodded sagely. “Now go get the other and we can hang out here. It’s so nice.”

“Don’t stand too close to the fire baby girl,” Bucky gave me a hard look that made me giggle more before he walked back into the house.

I laid down in the grass and stared up at the sky. I loved the stars. The moon was half full, waxing, or something like that, but it was still pretty. Tequila and Whiskey crawled up to me until they were nosing at my hands. I gave them soft head pats until I heard voices coming back outside.

“Why the fuck is there a fire,” Steve opened the door.

“It’s mayhem time,” Loki giggled.

“It’s marshmallow time!” I shouted but didn’t move.

“Turn on the light, where’d she go?” Bucky stepped down the steps.

My hand shot up in the air as the lights turned on. More people were coming outside and bottles were cracked open. There was a soft kick against my boot and I looked over at Bucky.

“You doing okay baby girl?”

“Lay with me,” I whispered over the crackling fire. 

Bucky pulled a face before he laid down on the grass next to me. He took my hand off of Tequila’s head and intertwined our fingers. 

“I was promised sugary treats,” Loki huffed.

I felt Bucky jerk and then a small yelp. 

“You have been blessed by the God of S’mores, praise be,” I laughed so hard I had to clutch my stomach. 

“You gonna have a marshmallow or not Sis?” 

“Yeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh,” I drawled out before sitting up. “Fuck, head rush.”

“Are you gonna throw up?” Bucky looked up at me.

“Nah, I ain’t a wussy like Clint,” I smirked and looked at the blond. 

“Nothing wrong with a tactile vom, kid,” he crossed his arms.

“Well excuse me for not wantin’ to waste my hard-earned money.” I rolled my head instead of my eyes. 

At some point in the night, Rhodey, along with Thor and Jane, wandered off. We continued to lounge around the fire, drinking and eating s’mores. When Sam suggested we play Never Have I Ever, I groaned. 

“C’mon doll it’ll be fun,” Bucky knocked his head against mine on his shoulder. 

“You say that now, but I don’t know.”

“We’re playing,” Tony insisted, “and I’m going first. Never have I ever… committed arson.”

I watched Natasha, Clint, Darcy, and Bucky take a sip before I took one myself.

“We are learning so much already,” Steve laughed. “I’ll go next, never have I ever ridden a horse.”

“That’s not fair,” I whined while taking another drink of my beer.

“I got ya doll, never have I ever had phone sex,” Bucky grinned pointedly at Steve.

Steve, Tony, Bruce, Natasha, and Dallas all took a swig of their beers.

“Never have I ever started a bar fight,” Clint grinned.

Bucky, Tony, Steve, Natasha and I all took a drink.

“I’m not even counting tonight as startin’ a fight,” I shook my head at Clint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was just supposed to be straight B-Day smut, but it got a bit out of hand. Next chapter though... 😉


	13. Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took forever! Apparently, when I struggle with writing one thing, I just brain dump other ideas for things and don't work on my big projects.

I didn’t remember doing chores, but when I woke up with my chore shirt on I guessed I had. Bucky wasn’t with me in bed either, but the shower in my room was on. Without thinking, I rolled out of bed and onto my wobbly legs, stripped, and went in. 

“You’re finally awake,” Bucky called out. “How ya feelin’?”

“I’d feel better if I was in the shower,” I rubbed my dry eyes.

“You askin’ to join?” His voice was light and teasing.

In response, I got in. I wasn’t teasing. My body was plastered to his back before he could turn around. Maybe I should have been nervous, or maybe I was still a bit drunk, but this felt oh so right and good and warm.

“I guess that’s a yes,” Bucky twisted in my arms to face me. 

The hot water sprayed across us and I relished in the feeling of skin on skin. His wet hair dripped thick trails down his neck and chest. A chest I was very well acquainted with when I had clothes on. Bucky’s hands were at his side like he wasn’t sure what to do with them. I grabbed one and brought it to my face. I kissed his palm before lowering the hand to my chest. 

There is something about seeing his hand between my breasts that made me shiver. We were both staring at his hand now. Bucky brings his other hand up to my neck, rubbing his thumb along my jawline. His eyes were clear and somehow a perfect shade of blue. I smiled and leaned up to his face. He met me halfway.

The kiss was slow like we hadn’t been kissing each other weeks already. My hands glided over Bucky’s chest, up and around his neck. I pressed my front to him, enthralled by the tickling sensation of his chest hair. The hand on my chest slinked around my waist until it settled on my butt. Bucky’s grip was commanding. He pulled me even closer to him until I felt his hardened length rub against my belly. 

_ We’re really doing this. I’m not even nervous now. This... This is right where I want to be. _

I broke away from Bucky’s kiss for a moment to look at him. Really look at him and appreciate how beautiful he was and how safe I felt with him. I never thought safety was something I would need in another person, but now I didn’t know what I’d do without that safety and strength. My hands moved over the scars and marks that littered his torso. 

“So beautiful,” the words came out of my mouth like prayer as my eyes continued to devour him.

Bucky lifted my chin up with the crook of his finger. There was a new kind of smirk on his face like he had won first prize at the county fair. 

I leaned in to capture Bucky’s lip again. 

The hot water cut and rap music suddenly blasted right outside the bathroom door. 

“Fuck,” Bucky gasped and flailed turn off the water. 

I wrapped my arms around my chest. A shiver erupted from my neck and traveled down all of my limbs. I reached for a towel draped on the hook near the shower and wrapped it around myself. Sensual, private aura now gone, I was feeling more hungover and way less sexy. I carefully stepped out of the shower and handed Bucky the other towel. Outside the door, the music was still blaring horribly loud. 

“Happy Birthday,” all the Avengers shouted when I poked my head around the door.

“You fuckin’ pieces of shit,” Bucky yanked the door all the way open and glared at them. 

“Well, I guess apologies are in order,” Loki snickered, eyeing the towel loosely slung across his hips.

“Stop fornicating with my child, it’s time for breakfast,” Tony whined but continued to stare at us. 

“Birthday sex can wait. We made pancakes,” Thor announced, slamming his fist into his open palm. 

I held onto my towel for dear life. The red flush across my cheeks burned like 1000 suns. I was never going to live that down. At least Dallas had the decency to cover his eyes the whole time. 

“Get. Out.” Bucky growled at them. 

After a very long series of laughs, they slowly left the room. I clutched my towel to my chest, still not sure what to do now. 

“Why?” 

“Because they are dickwads, but also wanna make sure you have a nice day.” Bucky sighed heavily, “Also happy birthday, baby girl.”

I fell face-first onto the bed and groaned. Of course, that was what Tony meant last night. That had only been a part of the plans they had for me. Food would make the hangover be gone sooner, but my limbs ached and my embarrassment suffocating. 

“Just kill me, Buck,” I groaned.

“No,” he flopped down next to me.

“I haven’t had it this bad in months,” I muttered and turned to him.

“You were impressively shit faced last night,” he grinned.

“I remember starting a fire, but mostly after that, it becomes too hazy to really remember. I didn’t burn anything down did I?” I winced as a ray of sun poked through the curtains.

“You burned quite a few marshmallows, claimin’ they were best that way, but nothing serious.”

“Good,” I closed my eyes and sighed.

“You also admitted to committing arson and fantasizing about sex outside.”

“I can’t even be mad right now,” I said, despite the blush rising on my face.

===============================

Breakfast did indeed include pancakes and a very long roasting session of my drunken antics from the night before. 

“Are you all happy now? You’ve seen me drunk,” I uncrossed my arms and then recrossed them.

“I am exceedingly happy. I can’t wait until next Friday,” Loki flashed a devious grin. 

“It’s not gonna happen again,” I gave him a stern look.

“Where is the fun in that?” Sam whined.

“I am lucky they like me down there. It's why they don’t call the police on me. It’s why they offer to drive people home. It’s why I know my limit for polite society,” I groaned. 

“Fuck polite society,” Natasha scoffed.

“Okay, okay, okay, enough drunk talk, time for happy talk,” Tony waved his hand over the empty plates.

“Happy talk?” Bucky raised an eyebrow at that.

“Yes, we are going to share happy birthday memories,” Tony insisted.

“When I was 11, my parents let me have a pool party for my birthday. That was fun,” Rhodey offered up. “There was pizza.”

“When Bucky had his 13th birthday party, he got pantsed by a girl he had a crush on,” Steve slapped his chest and laughed at the memory. 

“Yeah punk, and for your 16th birthday, you got so drunk you flashed your elderly neighbor,” Bucky retorted, blush on his cheeks darkening.

“Why do you never flash me when you're drunk?” Tony turned on Steve who was now blushing.

“You see me naked every day, why do you need me to flash you?”

“For fun, Steve,” Tony hissed.

“Oh my god,” I laughed, clutching my gut. 

“Laugh it up Sis, when you had your seventh birthday, you cried for over an hour because your pony didn’t wish a happy birthday.”

“I was young and thought ponies were cool,” I shrugged.

“So precious,” Natasha cooed.

“Dallas tried to start a fight with a tree on his last birthday,” Clint offered.

“He’s never been the brightest bulb,” I teased. 

Despite the lovely breakfast, my hangover only grew as the afternoon droned on. When it was time to go pick up the truck, I shoved my sunglasses on before I put on the Bucky’s helmet. I needed the world to be extra dark right now. The sun beat down on the black leather of his jacket and was making it difficult to hold on to him. I just wanted a glass of water and to stop moving at this point. Driving a truck while this hungover, I could do, but the thought of manning a motorcycle in my current state or anything comparable gave me some new respect for the gang. Every vibration of the engine, which normally was thrilling, gave ammunition to my throbbing headache. 

Gloria and Trixie were leaning against the bar when we came in to collect the keys to the truck. Both of them wore lazy smirks at the state we were in.

“Did I at least fill the fishbowl?” I asked, not taking my sunglasses off. 

“You did, but I feel like we should be withholding your gift for all the trouble you caused.” Gloria tapped her finger on her chin.

“I only broke one glass right?” I rubbed my forehead, my memories of last night during that time not completely clear.

“Technically yes, but you know how Ashley gets when he has to do more than check IDs,” Trixie sighed.

“He’ll get over it, he always does,” I hummed and leaned into the bar.

“And how are y’all doing this afternoon?” Gloria asked.

“I survived, didn’t I?” Tony gave them his signature smirk.

“I’m hungover to shit and it’s great,” Sam flopped down into a booth.

“Did the two ladies you went home with make it back okay? Their van wasn’t here when we got in?” Gloria asked, always the concerned mother hen.

“Yeah, we dropped them sometime after noon. Apparently waking up in our shared accommodations was not as acceptable as going to sleep in it.” Thor gave an exasperated sigh.

“Darcy was totally fine with it, she’s great, I’m keeping her,” Loki crossed his arms in finality.

“You think she’s great because she was able to pry information out of my drunk sister, which was surprisingly difficult by the way,” Dallas rolled his eyes at me.

What had I told Darcy? Oh no, I remember her asking me about kinks, but what did I say back?

“It’s good to know liquor doesn’t loosen your lips,” Steve patted my shoulder, trying to reassure me for some reason.

“Among other things,” Loki sniggered.

“Loki,” Bucky snapped, pointing a hard finger into his chest.

“Let’s focus on the fishbowl again, please. Can I have my present? I love y’all, but I need a nap before I gotta do chores,” I pushed myself off the bar. I was fading fast.

“Well then Lil Miss Pushy, see if we help with your birthday next year then, hmm,” Trixie raised her eyebrow and reached around the bar for a large box.

The box was wrapped in old newspaper funnies and had a small card taped to the front. I ripped that open first. The card had a silly, glittery 21 on the front because I was never gonna live that down. Inside was a note about having fun, living my life, and enjoying the time I had with my family. Tears slipped past my sunglasses and I threw myself at them. Hangovers always made me extra emotional. Gloria and Trixie wrapped their arms around me and petted my hair. 

“Open your present before you make me really start crying,” Gloria waved her hand in front of her face. 

“Yep, yeah, shouldn’t cry on your birthday,” I sniffed and tried to force out a laugh.

I wiped my face quickly and turned back to the box. I pulled the old newspapers off and pulled out the knife Bucky had gotten me. The old liquor bottle box was heavily taped together. That was actually my first time using the knife, not just clutching at the handle in fear. I made quick slices through the tape and the top flipped open. Wrapped in sparkle pink paper was a matte black helmet. Unlike Bucky’s militarized style, full-face helmet, this one was sleek almost like a space helmet almost. The visor took up most of the front space and was so dark I couldn’t see through it. My fingers ran across the smooth surfaces of it. I noticed the small baby blue detailing along the bottom edge where the padding met the hard plastic.

“Try it on, try it on, try it on,” Trixie urged.

So I slid the helmet over my head and it fit like a glove. I smiled and then realized they couldn’t see my face. 

“This is amazing, thank you,” I hugged them again, overwhelmed by the gift that still sat on my head. 

“Safety is important,” Gloria gripped my shoulders, trying to convey some deeper meaning to me I’m sure, but my hangover wasn’t capable of that kind of thought process at the moment. 

===============================

With evening chores done, I was practically shoved up the stairs to shower and told to put on something decent for the last part of my birthday celebration. Halfway through the shower, I felt like my normal, semi exhausted, recently guilt-ridden self again. I sighed, sat down in the shower, closed my eyes, and just let the water beat against my face. It was time to tell Bucky. This was no longer about what I wanted to do, I needed to do something. I just needed to figure out when to tell him I was ready. 

I turned off the water and hobbled out of the bathroom to get ready. I decided something decent was a sleeveless denim dress. The garment stuck to my slightly damp skin while I loosely braided my hair. I stared at the ends of the braid, looking at how intricate all the strands of my hair crinkled and molded together. The softness was familiar and foreign at the same time as it brushed over my fingers. 

“Hey doll, you ready to eat dinner?” Buck leaned against the door frame. 

I jumped at the sound of his voice. How long had I been staring at my hair, so focused on the strange act?

“Yeah, sorry, just a bit spacey,” I forced a smile. 

“Is that why you took a 45 minute shower?” Bucky wiggled his eyebrows and laughed.

“I do my best thinking in the shower, what can I say?”

We walked down the stairs and out to the backyard. The bonfire was raging already, Bruce, Rhodey, and Tony were standing in front of the grill, while everyone else was lounging on blankets around the fire. Drinks were nestled in the grass. Someone had pulled the table out of the root cellar and thrown one of Memaw’s faded checkered plastic tablecloths over the top. Plates of chopped lettuce, cheese slices, tomatoes, onions, and pickles were set up. Condiments neatly lined up at one end with a pitcher of lemonade at the other end. It was all so very picturesque. I felt like I was in a dream.

When it was time for the ice cream cake to finally be brought out from the freezer, I couldn’t help the cheek splitting grin on my face. They had really gone all out for it. On top of the circular cake was a poorly drawn horse image in the signature Dairy Queen gel frosting and a message that had my actual name written on it, not just Luna or Bucky’s girl. I covered my face and giggled when they off-key sang Happy Birthday to me. Tony demanded I blow out the candles and make a wish. A part of me wondered if they were throwing this birthday barbecue for me or them. 

“I want the horse face,” I watched Natasha slice the head off and give me the piece.

“Interesting, willing to eat the defiled image of a horse, but tried to beat the crap outta me when I used her horse blanket senior year of high school.” Dallas tapped his fork on his empty plate.

“Yeah, cause you used it to defile your skanky girlfriend at the time,” I shuddered, remembering the gross stain that never truly came out of the fabric.

“Amber was not skanky,” Dallas argued.

“Dallas, the girl was called Amber. She was either gonna be a stripper or sell Mary Kay,” Sam laughed and took his slice of cake. 

“Agreed,” Natasha served up the last slice of cake for herself. 

“Who was that girl in Chicago you couldn’t get over Sam?” Dallas asked, “Sharon?”

“What kind of young person is called Sharon?” I turned to look at Sam.

“Blonde girls with big mouths,” Clint offered around a bit of cake.

“Clint can’t say shit,” Sam lamented. “He married some Missouri bimbo in Las Vegas a few years ago and he’s still technically married to her.”

“Don’t hate on Laura dude,” Clint made a face at him.

“So, Clint, you got a wife?” I asked sheepishly.

“Yes and No, it's complicated and weird and if I think about it too hard I get a headache. Laura is cool and all, but I don’t think either of us knows what to do. I’m not about to set foot anywhere near a courthouse,” Clint explained, sipping his lemonade. 

“Is anyone else here secretly married?” I put out the thought.

“No, it’s just Clint how makes dumb decisions,” Bucky laughed.

“The concept of marriage, though archaic, does have many benefits,” Bruce mused. “Your spouse can’t be used against you in the court of law, tax breaks-”

“Owning half of all their stuff,” I finished, around a mouthful of cake.

“But then think about ending the marriage, having to give up half of your stuff and creating a life long enemy,” Loki mused.

“And divorce is expensive,” I pointed out.

“Why are you so weird?” Rhodey stared at Bucky and I leaned against each other's backs for support.

“I’m gonna chalk it up to not knowing my bio parents and being raised by elderly grandparents who had minimal boundaries,” I stabbed a piece of cake and shoved it in my mouth. “Also that makes Dallas just as weird.”

“Dallas is a fucking disaster,” Loki shook his head while the rest of laughed.

After cake and cleaning up, we continued to lounge around the fire. The sun slowly dipped below the horizon. A cool breeze blew ashes up into the air and I was thankful for the rain we’d had earlier in the week. Soon we wouldn’t be able to do this. With how Texas summers were getting drier and drier due to climate change and all that stuff, I was sure the county would have a burn ban up before June was out.

These were some of my favorite nights growing up. Papaw would light a fire for us to all sit around and we’d just talk and tell stories. He’d tell stories about the war and how things were back in his day. Memaw would huff and talk about the social injustice of it all. Complain about not being able to make money choices and being expected to be a meek housewife. And me and Papaw would just laugh because she was nothing like that. She was always in charge, always commanding, a true leader among men.

I cuddled up closer to Bucky, leaning my head on his shoulder like we had done last night. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. His knuckles danced across my skin, slowly raising goosebumps with each pass. I turned my face towards his neck and inhaled - Old Spice, laundry soap, and campfires. The combination went straight to my head. I let out a shaky breath, butterflies erupting in my stomach. I looked around at who was still hanging around, but most of them had wandered off to bed or to have some alone time.

“Hey, I got something for you in my bike. Do you wanna come with me to get it?” Bucky whispered in my ear.

I nodded and slowly got to my feet. I offered him my hand to stand up and made some excuse about taking a walk. I thanked Tony and everyone for my wonderful birthday again before we started to wander off in the direction of the grain barn. Bucky’s hand brushed up against mine and I just grabbed it. I was happy to hold his hand. It was warm and so big compared to mine. Our calluses created a rough, exciting sensation with each shift in grip or squeeze. 

In the barn, I flicked on a light at the workbench. I looked at our little plants, happily growing in their trays. Momentarily distracted, I made a note in my mind that they could probably be planted sometime this week. I’d need to check the weather for rain and then decide the day. I checked the soil in some of the trays, still moist enough that they’d be fine until tomorrow. 

“Okay, close your eyes and hold your hands out,” Bucky called out.

I pushed the trays back into place before I spun around, eyes closed, and stuck out my hands. Bucky placed something cool in my hand. Though I hadn’t expected to get anything from Bucky, I was struggling to hold in my excitement. 

“Can I open my eyes now?” I flashed a quick smile. 

“Yep,” Bucky sounded like he had a big grin on his face.

I looked at the plastic purple packaging holding two bracelets. One with a moon and the other a sun, both had a small charm that said BF on it. 

“Did you just give me friendship mood bracelets?” I giggled at him.

“Hey, if you don’t like this completely thought out and totally not last-minute gift, Loki or Sam can be my BF,” Bucky huffed, trying to put on an offended tone.

“Heck no,” I snatched the gift and held it to my chest.

I slipped the bracelets off the holder. The drawstring holding the pieces together seemed sturdy enough. The small pendants were made of cheap feeling metal and the glue that held down the small color-changing pieces had overflowed a bit in some places. I loved them.

“So which one do you want?” I asked.

“The sun obviously, I am the light of your world baby girl,” Bucky flashed me a blinding marshmallow grin and stuck out his left arm. 

I put the bracelet on and pulled the string so it fit tightly against his skin. The little sun charm slowly started to shift from the gross yellow color to a teal color. I slipped the moon bracelet on and mine turned a similar shade of teal. 

“I’m not really sure flirty is how I would describe my current mood,” I mused, flicking on the little moon.

“Then how would you describe your current mood?” Bucky stepped forward, crowding me against the table and his chest. His hands settling on either side of me.

“Mmm, I could probably show ya better than I could tell ya,” I smirked, my confidence building despite the blush creeping up my neck. 

Bucky hummed, an expectant look settled on his face. He waited for me to make a move, or to at least finish the move I had started in the shower. I brushed a piece of hair away from his face, placing it behind his ear. My hand settled on his cheek, the rough hairs of his beard sending tiny sparks through my palm. Slowly, he turned his head to kiss my hand and my breath hitches in the back of my throat. Bucky’s eyes darkened, like a brewing storm waiting to burst. I rose up on my toes and brushed my lips against his. My hand moved deeper into his hair, pulling him down to meet me again. 

A deep groan rumbled through Bucky’s chest. He surged forwards, hands moving to my throat and face. His body was flush against mine. I pushed my free hand under his shirt, desperate to feel more of him. To feel more of what I felt in the shower. Bucky nipped at my bottom lip while his thumb rubbed against my jaw. I opened my mouth at the wordless command, slanting it against his intrusion. Bucky’s hands moved from my face to waist. 

“Up,” he whispered, squeezing me slightly until I complied. 

Once I was sat at the edge of the table, his mouth was on mine again, hands roaming. I spread my legs further, begging him to get closer. Both of my hands were in his hair, pulling and demanding. 

_ Fuck his hair is like heaven. I need him. All of him. Right now. _

Bucky pulled away, breathing ragged against my neck. I kissed my way across his cheek and down his neck, making certain to nip and suck like he had done to me. I wanted to mark him to show everyone that just as much as I was Bucky’s girl, he was mine. 

The low moan that slipped past his lips when I bit down where his neck met his shoulder made my desire pool deep in my belly. I needed him to touch me. 

“Bucky,” I pulled away to look into his lust blown eyes. “I need you.” 

“I got you, baby girl.”

His lips captured mine again for another heated kiss. We were all tongues and teeth again, desperate for one another. Bucky’s hands ghosted under the skirt of my dress, a feather-light touch against my fevered skin. Finally, his hands settled on my hips, toying with my panty line. I pulled at his shirt, the fabric now offensive and blocking my touch.

I tried to rock my hip against him. An urgency building in me like I hadn’t known before. The shirt he wore was discarded, thrown onto the dusty concrete floor. My hands traversed the plains of his exposed skin. The scattering of hair across his chest that led down his stomach before dipping below his jeans. 

My dress needed to go. It was too hot in the barn. My fingers fumbled over all the buttons, shaking with anticipation. Bucky’s hand stilled mine, his sure hands replacing mine in opening up the dress. I watched his fingers make quick work of it, revealing more and more of my skin to the heated air around us. When the dress was fully opened, I slid the denim off my bare shoulders. Callused knuckles traced the edge of my bra before Bucky’s hand settled again between my breasts. His eyes burned holes into my chest.

I reached behind me and released the clasps of my bra. The weight on my chest shifted and he flung the garment in the direction of his shirt. Dark eyes met mine again. Bucky crashed his lips against mine again for the briefest moment before he began his assault on my neck. Marking me as his, claiming my body, finally. I hummed and moaned with each bite.

When a rough hand cupped my breast, I leaned into it, needing more of him on me. A tingling sensation rippled through me when his thumb strummed over my nipple. The more I whimpered against his touch the harder his bite got and the more aggressive his hands were. I could feel the slick begin to soak the fabric of my underwear. A pulsing need rocking at the junction of my legs. 

“Fuck you’re so gorgeous baby girl,” he whispered against my skin.

“Bucky,” I murmured.

“Do you wanna,” he licked his lips, “go back to your room?” His forehead pressed against mine as he rocked his hips against mine.

“I need you now Bucky, please. I can’t wait,” I pleaded, my hands touching any part of him I could.

“C’mon baby, we can’t have your first time be outside,” Bucky groaned when my short nails racked across his chest.

“Bucky, please, I’ve been so good. Please, I need you inside me,” I whimpered when his hand flexed against my breast.

“Fuck,” he ground out the word. “Is there at least a blanket in here?”

I had to think about it. Rein in my lust-crazed mind so I could think clearly for a moment. We were in the grain barn. We kept the bikes in here. The truck was parked out back. It had a blanket in it. No. Natasha took that. I felt like crying then. We were so close, why did he have to go and have sense now?

“Natasha took the blanket from the truck, so there isn’t one,” disappointment coated my tongue making the words tacky in my mouth. 

“What do you need, baby girl? I want this to be good for you,” Bucky brought his hands to my neck again and tilted my head back.

“I just need you Bucky, please, I can’t wait anymore,” I grabbed his wrists, turning to kiss the inside of each one. 

A low primal sound echoed around us. Suddenly his hands and mouth were all over me. My hands went to his belt, undoing the clasp. He grabbed my hands and placed them on the edge of the table.

“Don’t move,” he whispered against my ear. “What’s the word?”

“Rodeo,” I gasped when he bit my neck.

“Are you gonna be a good girl for me?” He kissed my collarbone.

“Yes,” my breath caught in the back of my throat.

Even as the word came out of my mouth, a shiver trickled down my spine causing my hips to buck forward. There was a sharp tug on my braid, pulling my head back to expose my neck. Bucky kissed me again, bruising my lips with his ferocity. I gripped the table's edge desperate to touch, but also to listen and be good. His hands ghosted over my skin again, leaving a trail of goosebumps across my flesh. His touch the opposite of his mouth

I whimpered against his mouth when this thumb brushed over my cotton covered core. Every single touch sent sparks through me. My whole body was thrumming with sexual energy.

“You’re doin’ so good baby. Let’s get these panties off,” he whispered against my lips, Brooklyn accent more pronounced than ever.

His hands reached behind me, sliding into my underwear, squeezing and lifting me just enough to pull them off. Now I was naked in front of Bucky again. A part of me wanted to move, to cover up against his intense gaze across. I watched his thumb feel over the wet spot in my panties, a smug, lustful smirk gracing his lips. 

“Bucky, please, I need to feel you,” I begged, my voice awash with all new emotions. 

“What part of me?” His thumb brushed over my naked center, the soft skin glistening in the yellow light, while his other hand settled on my hip.

“Any, all, please Buck-” He cut off my pleads with another kiss. 

I felt his thumb glide through my folds, spreading the wetness up and around my clit. More sounds tumbled from my lips, gasps, and moans. Bucky continued to wind me up until I thought I would break. His hands and mouth dragging me to the precipice of something otherworldly. My legs began to tremble. I was begging for more. My body demanded something, anything. Two of Bucky’s fingers thrust into me, beckoning me over the edge with slow strokes.

“C-can I touch you please?” I whimpered against Bucky’s ear. 

“Touch me, baby girl,” my arms were wrapped around his shoulders before he’d even finished. My fingers fisted into his thick hair.

“Bucky,” I gasped when he added a third finger, stretching me open.

“Are you gonna cum for me, baby girl?” He rocked his whole body into the thrust of his finger. “Fuck, you’re being so good for me. I want you to cum on my hand baby, can you do that for me?”

The hot tension in my low belly and between my legs kept building and getting higher. My breath caught in my throat and with one final bite on my neck from Bucky, my climax washed over me. My legs trembled and convulsed while my arms locked around him. There was a rush through my body, a moment of pure bliss, that I couldn’t explain.

When Bucky slipped his fingers out of my dripping sex, I whimpered at the sudden empty feeling. I didn’t want to feel empty. He eased my arms from around his neck until only my hands rested on his neck. I could feel his heartbeat racing. My eyes followed his hands down to his jeans. Achingly slow, Bucky undid the button and zip, sliding them down just enough to release his pulsing manhood. He pulled a foil packet from his front pocket and tore it open with his teeth. In my glowing state, it was strange watching the nearly clear latex slide down his cock. Why wasn’t I doing that?

“Are you ready baby girl?” Bucky lifted my chin to look him in the eye. I hummed and tried to nod my head. “Words, baby doll, you gotta use your words for me.”

“Please Bucky, I don’t want to feel empty anymore,” I murmured, stroking his neck and the blossoming bruises I had left there. 

He let go of my chin to position my legs around his waist. One hand caressed the back of my neck, thumb soothing my jawline, while the other was used to tease me. The tip of his cock slid through my folds, just like his fingers had. Despite my sensitive sex, my body ached for more. Just as Bucky thrust forward, his mouth came down on mine. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, the twinge of pain completely lost to the feeling of being stretched and so close to him. 

Bucky broke the kiss off to let out a shaky breath, his jaw clenching and unclenching. My legs pulled him closer into me, while my hands on his neck trembled. A stampede of emotions shot through me - desire, need, fullness, concern, fear, shame. I didn’t even realize I was crying until Bucky used the pad of this thumb to wipe away a tear. The light created a halo around him.

“We can stop if it hurts,” he spoke in a hushed low, barely controlled tone.

“No,” I rushed, clinging to him more. “Just talk to me please. I wanna be good for you. I promise I’ll be good.”

“You’ve already been so good for me baby girl. Your pretty mouth beggin’ for me, saying my name,” Bucky took a slow, experimental rock of his hips which caused me to moan. “I’ve wanted to do this for weeks. To feel your hands on me again. To feel your little pussy around me.”

Bucky rocked against me again, angling his thrust upwards. The rub of his curls against me shot a thrill straight through me. He pulled further out this time, entering me with more force. Every part of me wanted more, and needed him to take control. 

“When you got in the shower with me, I thought I’d died. You’re so fucking beautiful baby girl.” The force of his thrusts was starting to rock the bench. One of his hands fell from my neck to my breast. He tweaked and pinched and massaged, eliciting more whimpers from me. “Christ that mouth you got baby. I could listen to you moan all day. And I could, if wanted to, cause you’re all mine, aren’t ya?”

“Yours,” I moaned, my mouth falling open as his hips snapped faster and harder against me.

The sound of skin slapping against skin was a faint background sound to the breathy moans running from my mouth and the soft grunts from Bucky. I couldn’t stop them even if I wanted to, everything felt so good again. The short jerky motions my hips made to meet his only encouraged Bucky more. We were both chasing our orgasms now and I was nearing the edge all over again. 

My vision focused only on Bucky’s face as we took our pleasure from one another. The light illuminated the droplets of sweat in his hairline. His eyes were full of lust and wonder. 

“Who’s girl are ya?” He emphasized each word with a thrust. 

“Bucky’s,” I trembled.

“Are you gonna cum again baby girl? Are you gonna cum on my cock?” He was starting to sound just as wrecked as I felt. The hand that was on my breast dropped to my hips so his thumb could tease my clit.

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky,” I pleaded, desperation and need in my voice. 

My climax didn’t wash over me this time. The build up had been slower, but so much stronger. I felt my wall clamp down around Bucky’s throbbing cock. A breath I didn’t know I was holding in then ripped through my lungs when I screamed his name. Bucky crashed his lips against mine, tongue chasing after my voice. There was a stutter in his movements before he stilled inside me. 

Our heavy breathing filled the grain barn. Bucky’s hand rubbed up and down my thighs, over my back, and around my shoulders. I rested my forehead on his shoulder. Trying to calm down and catch my breath. I could hear his thundering heartbeat counter to my own. 

“So perfect, baby girl,” He kissed my hair. 

A shaky sigh escaped my lips, I didn’t want this moment to end. These feelings of bliss and safety and warmth that coated everything around us. If I could bottle this feeling up, I’d treasure it forevermore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a completely different scene written for Bucky's gift, but it just felt way too intense. Also, imagine Bucky in a Claire's buying friendship bracelets lol
> 
> Also, practise safe sex people. Use a condom. 
> 
> Links to things if you like visuals -  
> Bracelets  
> https://www.claires.com/mood-sun-and-moon-friendship-bracelets---2-pack-220612.html?lang=en_GB&cgid=111  
> Bucky's Helmet  
> https://motorclothes.harley-davidson.eu/__thumbnail/JTdjaW1hZ2VzJTdjcHJvZHVjdHMlN2M5ODEzM18xOEVYRl9XSF9ULmpwZw==/1200x0/min  
> Concept helmet for Luna  
> https://i.pinimg.com/originals/70/ac/51/70ac51f56732794f4fd97aa44773a7fa.jpg


	14. Let It All Out

_An eerie light glowed through the classroom windows. The desks laid out in an orderly fashion, not at all like the cluster I normally used. Why wasn’t I in my classroom? I tried to stand up to leave, but something was holding me down. My hands wouldn’t let go of the arms of the computer chair I was sat in. I couldn’t move. I was frozen. A tobacco-stained smile emerged from the darkness._

_“Who’s gonna want your used up cunt now?”_

===============================

A soft beeping and loud snoring roused me from my nightmare. Despite the cool air wafting down from the ceiling fan, a thick layer of sweat coated my skin. I clicked off the old alarm clock on my nightstand and slowly sat up. My shaking hands combed through my hair, trying to calm me down enough to stand up and get dressed. As the weight of the bed shifted, Bucky rolled to the middle of the bed, face shoved between the pillows. 

I pulled on my work clothes and padded outside barefoot. I shook out my boots over the porch railing, before sitting down to put on my socks and shoes. The dogs pawed at my thighs, begging for my attention. My hands still trembled, but I did my best to give them each a good scratch and cuddle. I couldn’t force my fingers to make the right movements to tie up my laces, so my boots flopped against my heels as I walked into the horse pasture. 

The water trough was emptied and refilled. I threw a few bales of hay down from the loft and used the feed wheelbarrow to bring them out the feeder in the pasture. I used my new knife to cut off the twine and pack it in. Then, I went about letting the horses out of their stalls, giving each of them an affectionate pat. Margarita nickered when I grabbed her bridle and walked her out the pasture. While the dogs ran circles around the grazing horses, I rested my forehead against hers. She let out a restless whinny, so I pat her cheek and let her loose. I guess I’ll have to get my cuddles from someone else this morning. 

I finished up chores in the stables and whistled for the dogs to herd the chickens out of their coop for me. Feathers were dusted off the eggs and I gingerly placed them in my basket. The glare of the sun bouncing off the tin roof of the coop blinding me before I turned around back to head for the house. I left the basket on the porch and wandered out of the garden. The sprouts were starting to pop through the soil, along with quite a few weeds. Those were gonna need some attention soon. I walked over to the irrigation system and turned it on. That would be fine to be left on while we had breakfast. The greens in the hot box were doing well, but I watered them anyway. 

My hand had finally calmed down enough so when I washed the eggs they wouldn’t break in the sink. I placed them in the holder on the counter and started the coffee. I watched the dark drops fall into the vast emptiness of the pot. The hissing, burbling sound coming from the percolator, a cacophony in the quiet kitchen. Streams of light filtered through the windows and reflected off the dust in the air.

“Mmm mornin' baby girl,” Bucky wrapped his arms around my middle and kissed my neck.

“Mornin’,” I murmured, the spell the coffee pot had me under not totally broken.

“How ya feeling?” He rested his chin on my shoulder.

I thought about it for a while, maybe a bit too long. He was asking how I was after having sex on the workbench. How I felt after my first time. But he didn’t know how much weight that simple question suddenly held. A weight that sat on my chest, trying to crush me. I tried to open my mouth, explain the full extent of all my emotions, but Tony floundered into the kitchen then. 

“Coffee,” he muttered to no one.

“I feel horrible,” I stated before I pulled down a selection of mugs for coffee with Bucky’s arms moving with me. 

Bucky stilled, “What?”

“Do I need to leave?” Tony asked, very alert now.

“No, Steve needs to be here too,” I poured four full mugs, knowing the smell would wake Bruce up before it got cold. 

Bucky slowly let go of me to go sit next to Tony. Confusion was written all over his face. I knew I hadn’t explained what I meant, but I wasn’t sure if I could explain it twice. I set up a second round of coffee for when the other started to come in for breakfast. I grabbed my mug and walked out to the porch. I needed to be outside, I didn’t want to feel trapped in the house. 

Flares of golden sunlight burned through what was left of the wispy clouds in the sky. My chair creaked as I pulled my knees up to my chest. With my coffee still too hot to drink, I left it on the table and just watched the sun wake up. Eventually, Bucky joined me outside and sat in the other chair. We watched the sunrise in silence. I took a slow sip of my coffee, feeling a small tremor in my hand again. 

“I wish life was simpler,” I stared out at the ranch sign.

“Not sure how much simpler life could get out here baby girl,” Bucky took a sip of his coffee.

“It could be like the Andy Griffith show. All black and white, I could go to work whistlin’ a tune and not have a worry in the world.”

“You can’t wrap life into 30 minute episodes,” Bucky looked at me.

“Hmmm, I guess you're right,” I sighed. “I’m just ready to be done with this episode. It’s been draggin’ on for too long.”

Bucky hummed in agreement. I shifted my coffee to my far hand.

“Can you hold my hand please?” I reached with my full arm, moon bracelet clattering on the table.

“Course baby girl,” his hand enveloped mine, grounding me.

We stayed like that for a while. Soon the others started filing into the house. A quick look from Bucky stopped any sort of chit chat. We stayed like that while the others got their coffee and breakfast. Even as my stomach growled, my mind reeled against the concept of food. In their own time, the Avengers took up a station on the porch. Steve was the last to come out, a serious frown on his face.

“How much does it cost to ruin a man?” I continued to stare ahead, my eyes looking at nothing.

“Depends on what you want doing to him,” Steve’s eyes flicked to Bucky.

“I want him to suffer every day for the rest of his life.”

“Does the length of that life matter?” Steve venom slipped through his professional tone.

“You know it does.” I turned to look at him. “I want him to live a long, merciless life so he feels unsafe and worthless for years to come.”

“When do you need this contract fulfilled?”

“I don’t want to see him at school again in August,” I turned back to stare at nothing.

I waited for Steve to give me a number, some dollar amount for my request. He seemed to be having some kind of silent conversation with Bucky based on how his hand flexed in mine. I focused on the subtle sounds of people eating or slurping their coffee. Some of them had an idea of who I was talking about, but most of them knew nothing. I wondered if Steve would make me tell them all.

“So what’s with the change of heart Miss Luna?” Steve asked me, using that silly nickname to convey his anger. 

“He followed me home on Tuesday.” Bucky’s grip on my hand tightened. 

“That’s not the whole truth.”

“You just gonna make me tell everyone then?” I countered, gritting my teeth. 

“Yes.”

I wanted to be angry with Steve. I really did, but I knew what he wanted. He wanted to get everyone else's anger behind mine. He wanted me to get truly angry and to fight for myself. 

“Martin Stewart has been harassing me since the start of the school year. He teaches 5th grade. He has the same lunch block that I do. I mostly avoided him, not trying to think about it cause it was my first year teaching. Then he groped me at the funeral and Christmas mass, which is why I stopped going. But I couldn’t stop going to school, I got bills to pay.” I took a sip of my coffee, the drink now cold and bitter, to distract me from the tightness in my chest.

“So the comments continued. At Easter mass, I assumed since Steve and Bucky came with me it would be fine. But then he tried to intimidate me or assault me, I don’t know, but Bucky punched him in the face and I thought that’d be the end of it. Then he showed up at the farm supply store and tried to threaten me. Loki offered to stab him right there,” I huffed, a small, sad laugh coming from my lips.

“Even with Buck bein’ my ride to school, he made it his personal mission to make my life hell. I couldn’t go anywhere at school without having to look over my shoulder. He’d corner me before staff meetings, during lunch, after assemblies. He hasn’t tried to be physical or anything since Easter, but on Tuesday he followed me back to the ranch in his car. The dogs scared him off,” I paused to steady my breathing. “He hadn’t done that before. He said I was flirtin’ with him, that I was tryin’ to make him jealous. I told him to fuck off, and he tried to accuse Bucky of bein’ mean to me. And I ain’t ever been that scared in all my life.”

Nobody is eating or drinking now. The suffocating silence that settled on the porch was trying to drag me under. Bucky let go of my hand.

“And you’re sure you just don’t want him dead?” 

I didn’t know who asked the question. The words went in one ear and out the other. I forced myself to refocus, to come back to the ranch and the porch, and people gathered here. I turned to look at Bucky. His lips were set in a firm line, his stormy pale eyes were a tempest of emotion. 

_He’s furious with you. You lied to him cause you didn’t say shit. He’ll hate you now. You’ve ruined everything. Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“Endin’ his life’d be too easy.” My voice shook with a savagery I hadn’t felt in a long time. “I want him to fear me.”

There was another moment of silence.

“Well doll, that’s gonna cost ya a whole lot I’m afraid,” Bucky smirked.

“I’m willin’ to pay anything.”

“Well then we better get started, get your boots on,” he stood up and started walking to farmhands house. 

===============================

I turned off the water to the garden before I went to the grain barn. The little sprouts soaked up the sun shining through the window over the workbench. I pushed them back, giving myself space to sit and wait. 

_And wait and wait and wait. Christ, I can’t take it anymore. I need him to yell at me or something. I can’t take this waiting. What is taking him so long? Does he just want me to stew in this horrible gut-churning feeling? Does he even want me at all?_

Shouting broke my train of thought. Bucky was shouting at someone or some people and he sounded furious. His voice echoed around the ranch and the barn and my head. I tried to ignore them. I knew that venomous tone would be directed at me soon enough. My legs swung back and forth, trying to let out some of the nerves I was holding in. I kept my gaze on the worn threads of my jeans. Focusing in on the weave of the fabric, doing my best to not panic as the sound of boot stomping filled the barn. 

Bucky grabbed both of my knees to stop them from kicking out. I didn’t look up, just made room for him to step forward to stand between my legs. _Like last night…_

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky whispered, his tone low and even. He sounded deadly.

“I wanted to pretend that everything was fine,” I murmured. “I wanted this to be a safe place for y’all and to not bother everyone with my stupid problems.”

His hands tightened around my knees and my grip on the workbench went white knuckle tight. I was waiting for it. The shouting about how stupid I was, how pathetic I was. 

“Why’d ya lie to me then baby girl?” His hushed tone sent a chill down my spine.

“I didn’t want you to worry Buck. You were on a job. I was gonna tell ya when you got back, but then Dallas had to open his big stupid mouth about my birthday and you-you-you were at the bar and everything was just so perfect. Everyone was having a good time and I-I-I didn’t want to r-ru-ruin it,” a tight sob ripped out of my mouth. “But I can’t take it anymore, the nightmares, the fear, the emptiness, none of it.”

“You know this won’t make those feelings go away?”

I nodded, unable to hold in the tears, “I don’t care. I want vengeance.”

“Well then you’ve come to the right people,” he sighed and wrapped his arms around me. 

Every muscle in my body seized up. My face was pressed into his shoulder and I could smell old spice and coffee and Bucky. Broken sobs mixed with my chanted apologies filled the barn. I wrapped my arms around his waist and just let it all out. He ran his hand up and down my back. When I pulled back, I wiped the remnants of tears away with the heel of my palm. 

“I don’t want a pity party,” my bottom lip still trembled. 

“Your problems are my problems, baby girl. There ain't no shame in needing help,” Bucky stroked my cheek.

“You don’t hate me then?” I chanced a look at him. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears. 

“No baby girl, I’m just angry right now.” 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered again. 

“No more cryin’ now, Stevie’s waiting in the truck.” Bucky helped me off the table and hugged me again. “You don’t gotta keep secrets from me doll.”

We walked out to the truck hand in hand. Steve sat in the driver’s seat, arm hanging out the window with a pair of sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose. We walked around the back and to the door. I yanked it open and saw the pink shirt. 

“Really, I gotta wear the punishment shirt?” I turned to Bucky. 

“Oh yeah, doll, starting now until I say so,” Bucky smirked at me and pointedly raised an eyebrow. 

“Fine,” I grumbled and ripped off my chore shirt. So what if everyone saw my sports bra now. I pulled on the hideous pink crop top. It was big enough that it fit almost like a regular t-shirt.

We climbed up and Steve started the truck. Bucky threw his arm over the back of the seat and I leaned into his side. I didn’t ask Steve where we were going. It didn’t really matter to me at this point. All I could think about was how the weight in my chest was still there. How telling everyone what I’d been going through for months now only made me feel shameful and like a burden. _It will get better. These feelings will fade. You did the right thing._ I kept repeating these things to myself even if I didn’t believe them. 

Steve drove through town until we came upon the trailer park on the far side of town. We’ve parked a few yards away from the entrance. The sound of children crying and the occasional dog barking gave the place a spooky vibe. Steve and Bucky seem to know exactly where they are going, so I wordlessly followed behind them trying to hide in a neon pink shirt. Thankfully, it seemed that most people were either still asleep this early, at church, or just didn’t care that three people were just stalking into their neighborhood.

We walked deep into the trailer park, where the placement of each home was more random and more precarious. There’s a chain link fence around one of the trailers. Steve just walked through like he owned the place. The building was puke yellow color, probably distorted from years of being unkempt. A stack of tires anchored one side of the house, with an overflowing garbage bin on the other. 

Bucky walked up to the front door and with a jerk of his shoulders, was inside the trailer. Steve and I followed him inside and I was hit with the smell of chewing tobacco and unwashed bodies. I scanned the small living room and kitchen. The place was a mess. A computer was set up in one corner, food wrappers all around it. There were empty cans of beer scattered across the kitchen counter along with a plastic bottle filled with used chew.

This was Martin Stewart's house. 

“Don’t touch anything,” Steve instructed, walking to the back of the trailer.

“Wouldn’t dream of it Cap,” I muttered and wrapped my arms around myself to control my shuddering.

“Just need to set up some things and then we’ll be gone, doll,” Bucky slipped on a pair of black leather gloves.

“How long have you known where he lived?” I shuffled around the living room.

“Since Easter,” Bucky crouched down and reached behind the PC tower. 

  
  


I hummed at that. It didn’t surprise that Steve or Bucky would have figured this out so early on. I crept deeper in, walking into Stewart's bedroom. He had a small unmade bed, clothes were thrown all over the place. My fingers flexed against my shoulders at the unease settling in my stomach. I turned to leave but was floored by what I saw on the wall next to the door. 

There must have been hundreds of pictures, along with old newspaper clippings, even some old post-it notes that I’d written during the school year and thought I’d lost. I stared at the picture of me, pictures of me in the high school FFA and 4-H club, pictures of me at County Line, there were even pictures of me at school. Some of the pictures were focused on my chest and even more seemed to be trying to get a shot up my skirt. Both Papaw and Memaw’s obituaries were taped to the wall. An article about me getting the blue ribbon at the state fair for roping cattle hung up next to the color picture of me being held up by Dallas in uniform. I couldn’t have been more than 16.

“Bucky,” his name dribbled out of my mouth. “Bucky!”

My chest felt tight and I couldn’t stop shaking. Every part of me wanted to escape, but with every blink, my eyes focused on something new. This horrid altar of my life cursed me to stay put. There were more pictures of me in a swimsuit when the high school had taken the senior class to the Olympic sized pool a few towns over. There was a picture of me at school during the Christmas pageant, bending over a chair, my skirt rising up enough to show a peak of my underwear. There was even a recent picture of me, my neck covered in the hickeys Bucky liked to leave behind.

“What’s wrong…” Bucky’s gaze followed my mile yard stare to the wall. “Steve, get in here. Now.”

He walked into the room and stared at the wall. All three of us just stared in horror at this memorial to me. Steve took out his phone and took several photos before pocketing it again. 

“Did you set up the bug?” He looked at Bucky.

“Yeah, you place the trackers?”

“It’s done, we need to go.”

Bucky grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. Next thing I knew we were parking the truck outside the grain barn. I couldn’t remember getting in, buckling my seat belt. I couldn’t tell you what Steve and Bucky talked about on the way back. It all became a droning sound in my head and I stared at the digital clock. One second it was 8:30, the next it was 9:02 and I was sitting alone in the truck with Bucky again experiencing horrible deja vu. I heard Bucky undo his seat belt and then mine before he pulled into his lap. 

“Talk to me baby girl,” he whispered, his nose brushed against my cheek.

“I haven’t eaten breakfast yet.”

So we went inside. Bucky trailing closely behind me as I passed by the gang sat in the living room and around the supper table. Whatever conversations were going on, stopped. I set up another round coffee because the pot is empty and I didn’t get to enjoy my first cup this morning. Then I’m cracking eggs into a bowl and I didn’t even notice the shells just crumbling into the bowl. Bucky pulled the bowl away and sat me down on the barstool. He popped two sets of Pop-Tarts into the toaster. A fresh mug was pulled from the cabinet and a paper towel was next to the toaster. Even with the hissing percolator I still heard them.

“I can hear y’all whisperin’,” I ground out, angered by their existence. “If you wanna fuckin’ say somethin’ to me just fuckin’ say it.” 

“Pink really isn’t your color sis,” Dallas shouted from the couch.

“You’d be a shitty pink lady,” Clint called out after a beat.

“We can get you some floral shorts if ya’d rather be Patrick Star,” Sam laughed.

“Princess Bubblegum called, she wants her style back,” Thor teased.

“She’s got Apple Jack energy, but she looks like Pinky Pie,” Loki giggled.

“You know who she really reminds me of? Boo from Monsters INC,” Tony mused.

“Yesssss,” Natasha hissed.

And I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. I tossed my head back and grabbed my stomach because I laughed so hard my muscle cramped up and tears were streaming down my face. 

_It’s gonna be okay. We can do this together._

===============================

“G’night Boo,” Tony called from the other side of the screen door. 

I grimaced at the nickname. Even with only one porch light on and the night sky covered by clouds, I was still glowing in the punishment shirt. Bucky and I were sitting on the porch swing, shooting the breeze like this morning hadn’t happened at all. My fingers traced the lines on his palm while my head rested on his shoulder. 

“Completely disregarding all the stupid shit happening, I’m feelin’ really _really_ good by the way,” I told him.

“Hmm.”

“How are you feelin’?” I picked up my head to look at his face. 

“A bit better now that you’ve got your prideful head outta your ass,” Bucky frowned. “But still stabby, like I’m ready to chop that son of bitch’s dick off and shove it down his throat and then just slit his throat.”

“I want to set that trailer on fire,” I admitted.

“Do you have a thing for arson I should know about?” Bucky’s smirk grew.

“Maybe a little?” I shrugged. “You accidentally start one fire in high school, then a few on purpose in college, then Ashley tackles you to the ground when you try to light someone’s car on fire for being rude to girls at the bar.”

“And you’ve never been to prison?” He chuckled in disbelief.

“Nope,” I popped the ‘p’. “Was questioned once, but then a girl I barely knew gave me an alibi.”

“So you got lucky?” 

“No, just girls protecting girls I think. I went to a frat party one weekend instead of coming home like I was supposed to. Drank way too much, saw a girl being cornered in their like living room or whatever and my solution was dumping a bag of Lays in the toaster and turning it on high. Soon the kitchen was filled with smoke and little balls of fire were shooting off everywhere. The whole house had to be condemned.”

“General public mayhem,” he smiled. 

“It’s not like I steal things or drink whole bottles of perfume or some other weird shit.”

“No, no, you just vigilante-style start fires?”

I shrugged again and leaned back into the swing. I had so much anger and rage inside me not so long ago. Sure it was still there, simmering in the back of my mind, but my own fear and anxiety kept it trapped there now. Unable to come out when I needed it. I was never able to do anything but stare like a deer in headlights when it came to blows. Was that better than being blinded by a gut instinct to lash out? I didn’t know.

A strange new tension settled between Bucky and me like we weren’t sure what to do next. Or maybe it was just me who didn’t know what to do. It was late, I should go to bed, but was Bucky going to come with me? I mean, we almost lived together already. Did he want me to ask him to stay with him? Did he just expect it now since we had sex? Did I expect it?

“You seem to be thinkin’ very hard ‘bout something doll,” Bucky stretched out like a cat before wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” I asked.

“Like you could tear me away,” he kissed the top of my head.


	15. The Ranch is Home

After morning chores and a quick shower, I crawled back into bed with Bucky. It’s a strange, new, wonderful feeling to be able to do that. I didn’t have to think about a routine right now or rushing off to school and dealing with any of the crap going on there. For those brief moments in the safety of my room, I could watch the rising sun shine across his back and make his loose hair glow. My hand moved of its own volition, ghosting my fingers around Bucky’s exposed skin. I traced the strong vertical lines of the Brooklyn street on his arm. I found myself leaning up and over him, placing small kisses along the top of his shoulder and down his arm. 

Bucky’s hand wrapped around my wrist and flipped me on to my back before I had even realized he was awake. My gasp was quickly silenced by his lips. He kissed me slow and warm, like the morning. One of his hands traveled down my chest to hold my bare hips

“Are you trying to get out of wearing the shirt?” He grinned down at me lazily.

“The rule is that I have to wear it all the time, not that I have to wear underwear. Do you have a problem with that?” I blinked up at him, blush blooming across my cheeks. 

“Course not,” he leaned down again and captured my lips for another kiss.

It didn't take any real amount of time before I was wrapping my legs around Bucky’s waist, urging him to take me. Despite my best efforts to rid myself of this hideous shirt, he is more than happy to keep teasing my nipples over the fabric. The rough texture of the cotton against my skin caused me to whimper more. 

Bucky pulls away for a moment, sliding half his body off the bed to reach for his jeans. He threw a foil packet at me, but I was too dazed and breathless from my own lust. It hits me in the face. I picked it up, examined it for a moment, and opened the wrapper. A spark of an idea from Saturday night surfaced in my brain.

“Lay back,” I instructed with a level of uncertainty. 

“You gonna ask me nicely baby girl?” He teased, not moving from his position on his stomach. 

“Please will you lay on your back so I can take off you boxers and try something oh great one?” I blushed at the ridiculous name Bucky requested I call him as punishment. 

Nicknames had never been my forte, especially when compared to how easy ‘doll’, ‘baby’, ‘baby girl’ just fell off Bucky’s lips. And he knew this, especially after the whole daddy thing outside the Dairy Queen and again on that first Friday we went out. We’d discussed punishment last night after heading to bed. A part of me regretted bringing it up at all, but then affection and praise rained down from the heaven that was Bucky’s mouth and I melted. The man really knew how to push a girl’s buttons just right. Based on how quickly he knew what he wanted as well made me realize that he was waiting for me to bring it up when I was ready. To admit to him that I knew keeping a secret like that wasn’t good communication in a relationship and that I shouldn’t lie about my feelings and just let things bottle up. 

On the surface, this was a silly punishment, but it was effective. The small tinge of embarrassment I felt only further pushed me towards the clingy mess I became during sex. The feeling started in my throat where the words formed, before dropping straight between my legs. 

“That's more like it,” Bucky gave me his marshmallow grin and rolled over, the tent in his pants still obvious. 

I placed both my hands on the side of his head, opened wrapper in one hand. The mirth and openness in his eyes were ethereal in the morning light and my breath caught in my throat. My worship of beautiful Bucky Barnes started at his forehead. My lips brushed against his hairline, to each of his eyebrows, before I placed a light kiss on his nose. I felt him smile below me when I did that. I kissed both of his cheeks before my lips finally met his. I lingered there for a moment, drinking in the taste of him. There was a gleam in his eyes when I pulled away. 

With my lips and teeth, I paid homage to his strong jawline. Continuing the slow pace, I bit and kissed my way down the column of his neck and over his collar bone. My tongue lapped and gave tribute to each of his nipples before I closed my lips around each raised bud to gently suckle. Bucky’s hands in my hair and the soft moans coming from his mouth only encouraged my ministrations. I praised each scar across the plain of his abdomen. 

When I reached his hip bones, I extolled at the dip where his skin met the elastic of his shorts. I slipped my fingers beneath, careful of the crinkled edge of the foil in my hand. As more and more of his flesh was revealed, my mouth proclaimed the glory and adulation that I couldn’t put into words. With each lick, bite, and kiss I heard Bucky’s breathing change. Every hitch in his breath when I reached a sensitive spot, I memorized. 

My adoration of Bucky peaked at the base of his manhood. The heat of his body pooled there, the skin flushed despite the coolness in the room. I kissed my way up and around the tip, sucking the precum that leaked there. His hands tightened in my hair and I pulled away just enough to meet his gaze. 

His impossibly blue eyes could have burned a hole right through my soul and I would have said thank you. I thickly swallowed before licking my dry lips. My exhale came out unsteady and felt the blush on my cheeks burn a bit brighter. Still holding his stare, I sat back enough to be balanced off my hands and pulled the condom out of the packet. I tried to remember the steps because sure the diagram made it look easy, but I was growing more and more concerned I would puncture the latex with my teeth. I pinched the tip and placed it in my mouth. My eyes traveled down to Bucky’s flushed chest to his cock. I bent forward again, one hand wrapping around the base, and began to slide the latex ring down. Very carefully, I inhaled through my nose before pushing on until my lips met the base of his cock. I held my breath, holding my jaw open even as it started to burn a bit before I pulled off. 

I grinned despite my nervousness and initial embarrassment. That hadn't been so difficult. 

“Where the fuck did you learn that?” Bucky gasped.

“On the internet,” I kissed the tip again and felt it twitch.

“Okay, no more playin’,” he pulled me up by the back on my neck. 

I’m sure I tasted like a weird mix of latex and precum, but that didn’t stop Bucky from thrusting his tongue into my mouth the moment I was close enough. He kept one hand on my neck, while the other pulled my leg over his hips to straddle him. I moaned at the contact of him between my legs. The delicious friction added fodder to the fire in my belly. I rolled my hips against his erection, the action made easier by how wet I was. 

Bucky wasn’t gentle when he finally thrust into me and I was grateful for it. My lips fell away from his, a silent moan kept my mouth open. The feeling of being stretched pulsed with pain for a moment, but then he was moving and I was lost in his eyes. There was only a thin ring of blue wrapped around his blown pupils. With every powerful thrust, Bucky’s grip on my neck and hip flexed. I felt the tears start to form in the corner of my eyes the closer to my orgasm I got. 

“Bucky, please,” I whimpered.

“What was that baby girl?” He smirked, slowing his movements. 

“Please,” I gasped when he angled a thrust forward. “Oh great one, please, I’m so close.”

Beyond caring enough to blush, I’d say anything at this point. My fingers clenched the sheets. My nipples ached every time they brushed against the fabric of the shirt. Every time he buried his cock in me, the force would send sparks up my spine. Bucky’s hand on my hips shifted from my hip to press on my pelvis. I whimpered again when his thumb brushed near my clit. The grin on his face was devious.

“You wanna cum baby girl?” He rolled his hips before stopping completely, “have you been a good girl?”

“Please,” I whispered. “Promise I’ll be good, wanna be good for you.”

“I know you will,” Bucky brought my forehead down to his. 

He moved his hand back and around to grab my butt. I moaned when he started to move again. If the fire in me had started to cool before, now it was like someone had thrown kerosene in it. Bucky was slow to build up the speed of his thrusts. His fingers dug into my flesh, holding me still. 

When he released his grip, I wasn’t ready. His hand came down hard. The slap echoed louder than the creak of the mattress. My breath caught in my throat and I clenched around his cock. 

“More,” I mewled, even as the tears started to prick through my closed eyes.

“What’s the word doll?” Bucky asked, stroking the back of my neck.

“Rodeo, please, I wanna be good oh great one,” I rushed out.

Bucky slammed his hips into my thigh, once, twice, a third time and I was struggling to catch my breath. On the fourth thrust, his hand collided with my backside again. He groaned as my muscles tightened around his cock. That was the rhythm he kept up for three more rounds. I hadn’t even noticed when he switched sides and spanked my other cheek. When he was done, he captured my mouth again for a bruising kiss and began to rub hard circles around my clit with his thumb. 

“Cum for me baby girl. Let go,” Bucky lips bumped against mine.

Between the sting pain of his thighs rubbing against my butt and his cock hitting just the right spot inside me to see stars in my eyes and his thumb’s attack my over sensitive clit, I came apart in a short time. My thigh clamped down against Bucky’s side as he continued to pound into my heat. I felt his hips stutter before he kissed me again, cock twitching inside me. 

When he released my lips, I buried my face into his shoulder. Bucky’s arms wrapped around my waist. We stayed like that for a while, catching our breath. I groaned when his softened cock slipped out of me. He rolled me to my side only long enough to tie off the condom and then his arms were wrapped around me again. He stroked my back under the shirt and whispered praise against my lips between soft kisses. 

===============================

By the time we came downstairs, it was well past 7 in the morning. Bruce and Tony were sitting at the bar drinking coffee while Steve sat at the supper table reading a paper. I poured both of us coffee and went to work making breakfast. I placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of Bucky before I went back for my plate. The fridge was running low on essentials, so I grabbed the pad off it and a pen from my desk. We could probably squeeze in a trip to Wally World tomorrow if I got enough work done in the garden today. A blush crept across my face when I sat down and felt a slight sting.

“Do you guys want anything from the store?” I munched down on my toast.

“Can you get sunscreen? If you’re going to force us to work outside, I need my SPF,” Tony rotated on the barstool to look at the table.

“Yeah, probably a good idea to stock up,” I scribbled down the request. 

“Make sure the orange juice doesn’t have pulp in it this time. I don’t want to listen to Sam moan again,” Bucky forked egg into his mouth.

“No pulp, that should be easy enough.”

I took a slurp of my coffee and another bite of my toast. This list was getting long. I wrote down a few more things, hoping there would be a few good deals this week to reduce the cost of feeding the small army at the ranch.  _ How did Memaw manage this? She always made lunches and dinners for farmhands... _

As the others made their way to the house and kitchen for breakfast, the shopping list grew longer and longer. Maybe we could manage for a bit longer, then make the trek to the big bulk store near the city. That would probably make more sense, especially now that I was going to be around for an extra meal a day.  _ I wonder if they take coupons. I can’t even remember the last time I was there. Do I still have to have a membership card? _

“Earth to Pinky Pie,” Loki snapped his fingers around my head.

“What?” I blinked a few times to refocus.

“I’d like to discuss your contract further.” Steve’s hands were knitted together on top of his newspaper.

“Oh… yeah, payment. Gimme a second,” I rushed out of the room and back upstairs to my room.

I pulled out the bottom drawer of the vanity and grabbed the stained makeup bag pushed all the way to the back. This was supposed to be money for emergencies. Like if the house burned down or something, but I guessed this was probably a halfway decent use of the money now. It's not like I had used the money to pay bills or fix the truck or anything else that could have been considered useful before. I ran back down the stairs and returned to my seat. 

“I don’t know how this normally works, but I can give you all that I’ve got here and whatever else I might have to pay in installments.” I passed the bag to Bucky, assuming he’d pass it on to Steve. 

Bucky opened the bag and let out a low whistle. He re-zipped it and tossed back to me. I frowned and set it down on the table, sliding it in Steve’s directions anyway.

“That’s not what needs to be discussed,” Steve leaned further into the table, everyone taking note of his serious tone. “We need to make an action plan based on yesterday. The original plan won’t work.”

“What happened yesterday? You just placed the bugs I gave you right? I got the notification that everything was operational,” Tony moved to stand up. 

“We found this,” Steve held out his phone. “Bucky has already made it clear that you aren’t to leave the ranch alone again, but I’d like to discuss what exactly you expect out of this.”

I crossed my arms, fingers picking at the sleeve of the punishment shirt. Tony let out a small gasp when he flicked through the photos on Steve's phone. Natasha shot up and ripped the phone from him and soon it had made the rounds through the whole gang. Dallas was the last person to see the phone. I watched him pull and pinch and drag his fingers across the screen. I knew he’d seen the picture of us there. 

“I should have fucking stabbed him when I had the chance,” Loki sneered.

Everyone stared at me like I had the answer then. 

“Look I can’t,” I paused. “I can’t ask you to do that. I can’t put that on your consciences,” I saw their collective eye roll. “Or my own, so let's just discuss possible ways of physically and psychologically damaging a man without killing him.” Because that somehow made it feel acceptable in my mind. 

They all just stared at me like I’d grown a second head. I tore a clean sheet a paper away from the pad, labeling it Operation Eclipse. I wanted to ruin the man, but that doesn’t mean the teacher in me didn’t want to plan the heck out of it to make sure it went perfectly. 

“Okay, I’ll start then. I told Bu-” Bucky tilted his head at me and smirked when I blushed. I sighed, “I told oh great one I wanted to burn down the trailer. Risks include being caught committing arson and also damaging neighboring houses.”

“Good start, kid, but let’s hold our ideas for one second. Did you just call this himbo ‘oh great one’?” Tony waved a finger between me and Bucky.

“Yes,” I saw Tony open his mouth to start speaking again, “and I’m not gonna discuss it any further.”

“Boring,” Clint pouted.

“I am not a himbo,” Bucky protested.

“Yeah, you’re just a regular bimbo.” Sam barked with laughter. 

“We could always chain the guy up in the root cellar, that place is scary enough.” Thank god for Rhodey turning the conversation away from Bucky’s new nickname.

“I know I said I don’t want illegal things happening here and us talking about this here is breaking that rule, but he ain’t ever stepping foot on this ranch.”

“What about a good old fashion lobotomy?” Loki offered.

“I’ll put it on the list, but I feel like that’d just lead to someone stabbing him in the eye to death.”

“We could just kidnap him and drop him off at a crack house somewhere, then call the cops with an anonymous tip?” Clint suggested next.

“Can’t do that one, the school does pretty regular drug testing so would be weird if he had no previous history. Also, do you know where one of these houses would be Clint?”

“Well, I coulda found one,” he grumbled. 

“Kidnapping could still be a possibility,” Steve reasoned. “We’d just need a secondary location to take him to. We’d also probably need to use his car to take him there.”

“I’m not getting in that car,” I frowned, but wrote down the kidnapping part.

“You ain’t going anywhere near any of the action, doll,” Bucky gave me an incredulous look. 

“But it’s my vengeance,” I whined, my tone not at all matching the deadly seriousness of this situation. I wanted to make him suffer, I needed that. 

“End of story baby girl,” Bucky gave me a hard look. “And add castration to the list.”

I pursed my lips at him and wrote down his suggestion anyway. It was a good idea, but I wasn’t going to tell him that now.

“What about a slow build thing? We have until school picks up again right?” Natasha stacked her fingers together under her chin. 

“What like sticking bologna slices to his car and putting a fish in his AC?” Thor smirked.

“Seems a bit juvenile,” Steve frowned. 

I watched Tony’s facial expression twist and morph as the gears in his head started to build a plan. 

“We could start by sending him anonymous messages, threatening to spill any secrets he has. Force him to do things, if he wants to keep them secret. I’ve already started to mine for data on his computer. If it has a webcam we could also access that to start watching him.”

“That would eliminate the need to kidnap him, we could just force him to meet us somewhere,” Rhodey added.

“That is a great idea, guys,” I wrote Tony’s suggestion down with a step one over the top. “What could we do as step two?”

“I still like the idea of fish in the AC, or like releasing bugs in the house,” Sam insisted.

“You could do that for fun anyway, would be easy to pretend one of his students did something like that. I get the impression kids don’t like him,” I tapped the pen to my lips.

“When do we burn down his home?” Loki pushed. “That is something I wanna be a part of.”

“Like step four or five maybe? I don’t like the idea of arson being committed without me.” I frowned at Bucky.

“Step two could be baiting him,” Natasha suggested.

“Baiting how?” Bucky leaned back in his chair and frowned, upset with where this was going.

“How good an actor are you Luna?” Natasha stared me down. 

Before I could answer that no way in hell would I be bait, there's a honk and sound of engines revving. I bolted from my seat and ran to the porch. Sure enough, the Laramie boys were riding up the house. Bucky wrapped an arm around my shoulder and suddenly I remembered the shirt.

“Shit,” I scrubbed my face.

Bucky chuckled halfheartedly but didn’t say anything else. 

“Morning boys, what can I do for you?” I asked once they were near the porch. I kept my arms crossed over the writing on my shirt.

“Aw well, we just wanted to stop by to wish ya a belated birthday. Mama wanted to invite you and yer uh… new beau over for dinner on Thursday night,” the older Laramie’s eyes flicked between the two of us. 

“Oh well thank you,” I smiled, ignoring the meal offer. 

“So Thursday night?” The younger boy’s stare remained on my shirt. 

“We’ll be there,” Bucky announced a Cheshire grin on his face.

“That’s great, Mama was real upset she didn’t get to meet ya at Easter and ya haven’t been back since and all,” The older drawled out, the low-level guilt trip did not go amiss.

“I bet she was,” I gritted my teeth, the smile straining.

“Alrighty then, we’ll let ya get back to yer mornin’. Have a nice day y’all. See you at 6:30 on Thursday.”

And with that, the boys were gone. When they were out of sight I turned to Bucky, displeasure written all over my face.

“What’s wrong with a free dinner doll?”

“Oh, you’re gonna learn soon, oh great one,” I pointed at his chest before heading back into the house. “Y’all are fendin' for yourselves on Thursday, we’re going to dinner at the preacher’s house.” 

“Can’t wait to hear how that goes,” Dallas rolled his eyes, he knew all about Mrs. Laramie's penchant for gossip. 

“Okay, well, I’m gonna have to leave planning to y’all. It’s getting late, and I need to start pullin’ weeds.” I turned back around and went to work. 

Knee deep in weeds and clods of dirt, I had time to think about what on earth I was actually doing. The physical labor was tedious and monotonous, leaving me with only time to contemplate my life choices over the past 24 hours. I could have gone to the county sheriff with this, but that would have probably meant cops showing up here and that was the last thing I wanted. I could have just told Bucky, we could have kept going on with me pretending Mr. Stewart didn’t exist and that everything was peachy perfect. But I knew in the long run that would do more harm than good for the both of us. 

What was the difference between what I was asking them to ultimately do to that creep, than just killing him? The angry part of me wanted him to suffer and to feel as helpless I feel. 

_ Felt. I felt helpless, but I’m not. I’ve got Bucky, don’t I? He will keep me safe. _

As the sun rose high in the sky, I rolled the sleeves of the shirt up and hem of my jeans as well as removed my boots. I needed to cool down to keep on track. The dull ache in my back and hands was starting to settle some and I knew I’d have a sunburn, but I didn’t care in that moment. I needed to keep busy to think clearly. I couldn’t let my anger get the best of me. Rationally, I knew what I was asking the Avengers to do was probably worse than just having him taken out. And the savage little monster in me, the thing that started fires and openly keyed professor’s cars, reveled in the mayhem. That part of me I’d tried to keep caged up so it wouldn’t stir up trouble and cause problems, it was begging to be let out. 

I wiped the sweat from my face and looked around me. I could see Bruce and Natasha hanging up their laundry on the line. Steve paced back and forth on the patio, Tony and Bucky standing there just watching him. Clint and Loki somehow had gotten on to the roof and were sunbathing from the looks of it. Dallas was walking my way, two cups in hand. 

“Dallas,” I took the drink he offered me. 

“I’m sorry I ain’t been around for ya.”

I took a long drink before responding, “Despite all the shit you put us through, I don’t think I’d change a thing now.”

“Not a single thing?” He squatted down to my level, helping pull weeds one-handed. 

“Yeah, maybe a coupla things,” I huffed, pulling up a large weed. “But I’m mostly just glad your back Dal, even if you are good for nothing redneck.”

“Honestly, I’m kinda happy to be back. The people in town can fuck a duck, but it’s good bein’ here on the ranch.”

“It’s cause the ranch will always be home, Dallas. For the whole lot of ya,” I smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure who I feel about this chapter, it got a bit off the rails and I couldn't think of a way to bring it back. Should hopefully get back on track for the next chapter. (so far as there is a track, and I stick to any plans I had for this fic)


	16. Not A Total Waste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It occurred to me I hadn't named the Laramie Boys, so they've been named Abraham and Ezekiel. Sorry for any confusion. Also I just mostly wanted to write something fluffy and easy with nice domestic bliss.

It was Wednesday morning when I finally got to take off the punishment shirt. Apparently the gang could smell me from the gate. What I didn’t mention before taking my shower that morning, was that I’d stopped wearing deodorant. Bucky, bless his heart, was not very good at hiding his scrunched up nose whenever I purposefully draped myself over him after chores or working in the garden. He finally caved when I stomped into my bedroom, dripping sweat from morning chores.

“Jesus Christ, woman, just fuckin’ take it off.” He groaned into the pillow, avoiding me. 

“Finally,” I grinned, ripping off the sweat-stained shirt. 

I took a shower, put on an extra layer of antiperspirant, and a freshly washed t-shirt and shorts. The stench was so worth it if it meant getting to wear my own clothes again. That shirt was well worn but made basic movements difficult. I crouched down on Bucky’s side of the bed and ran my hands through his hair to wake him up again. His eyes fluttered open, squinting against the brightness. 

“Better?” I asked.

“We’re gonna have to burn that shirt,” he stretched, exposing his bare chest and legs. 

“It’ll come out in the wash. We should do the sheets at the same time though,” I smiled and went to make coffee. 

When Bucky did come downstairs, he wrapped his arms around my middle and nuzzled my neck and hair, smelling the clean scent of my shampoo and conditioner. I wrapped my arms around his and stepped back into his hold. I hummed and listened to coffee drip into the pot. Tony came into the kitchen shortly after. I tried to step away from Bucky, but he wasn’t having it this morning after 48 hours of barely being able to tolerate my presence. 

“Finally we can breathe freely once again,” he smiled around his coffee mug.

“You do know I was doing that on purpose right?” I sipped my own coffee. 

“Surprised Barnes lasted as long as he did, honestly,” Tony knowing smirk plastered across his face.

“My dick doesn’t make all the decisions,” Bucky crossed his arms.

“No of course not, your nose made that one,” Tony quipped. 

I smirked as they continued to throw rude remarks at one another until a few more people started to come in for breakfast. 

“Are you serious? It was barely three days!” Dallas spluttered when he saw me in my regular clothes.

“What can I say Dallas, I’m just better than you,” I grinned.

“Not all of us can sleep our way to the top,” He stuck his tongue out at me in juvenile annoyance.

“Maybe you just weren’t trying hard enough, Dallas,” Natasha winked at him. 

“No, she definitely played all of us,” Bruce muttered, still waking up and sipping coffee.

“Something that won’t be underestimated again,” Steve smirked.

“This innocent act of yours really works,” Rhodey commented.

I gasped and placed my hand over my heart in mock sincerity.

“I tried to tell you, none of you listened. She teaches school, she likes horses, she wouldn’t shoot us. She’s all bark, no bite,” Dallas mimicked and threw his hands up, nearly up turning his breakfast plate.

“No, she definitely bites,” Bucky smirked, tapping my butt when he walked by me in the kitchen.

Dallas and Rhodey both made gagging sounds while my face lit up in a blush. 

“Anyway,” I drawled out. “I’m gonna head to that big bulk store near the city today. Is anyone free for bodyguard duty?”

“Depends,” Loki strolled into the kitchen.

“On what?” I gave him a look. 

“Would said bodyguard be subjected to your horrible music choice?” Tony asked.

“What’s wrong with the local radio station?” I demanded.

“If I have to listen to Reba Whatever-Her-Name-Is sing about being a hooker at 18 one more time, I’m gonna die,” he explained.

“You are forgetting the song where the chorus is talking about fried chicken that they play insistently.” Loki pointed out.

“Fine whoever comes with gets to control the radio,” I conceded.

“They gotta ride bitch though,” Bucky grinned. 

There was a collective groan. Of course, Bucky was coming grocery shopping with me. The man was obsessed with having so much choice in what we ate, in what he ate. Despite living on the road, or what I assume was a life on the road because the Avengers seemed more than happy to hunker down at the ranch, I got the impression getting to choose what he ate was important to Bucky. That choice and control, in general, were somethings he valued over everything. I didn’t want to ask him why that was, but I could have guessed it had to do with his time in the military. 

So because no one wanted to sit in the middle of the truck, it was just Bucky and me. He pushed the industrial-sized cart while I plucked 2-gallon jugs of laundry soap, the biggest container of ground coffee I could find, and three Pop-Tart variety boxes from the shelves. We made our way slowly around the store, trying to plan out meals and discussing food in general

“I can’t believe you’ve never had Indian food.” Bucky's incredulous look never faded.

“Where am I gonna have a chance to try that type of food?” I gave him my own look right back.

“That’s it, this has to be rectified. We’re getting yogurt, and cilantro not for tacos, and, and, and anything else we are gonna need. Why can’t I get reception here?” Bucky scowled at his phone trying to find a recipe for something based on his ramblings.

“I’ve never had sushi either,” I point out when we pass a chilled counter packed with prepared rolls.

“Oh my god,” he groaned at me.

Bucky also took multiple free samples during our shopping. The store people gave me the control-your-man eyes after his third driveby of their carts. So I did what any logical woman would do and pushed him into the booze aisle. That only kept distracted for a short time though. 

“We aren’t buying that,” I crossed my arms. 

“But Alpine needs it,” Bucky petted the box housing a $150 cat tree.

“The cats live in a barn. It's basically the perfect playground for them,” I explained.

“Why do the dogs get to live in the house, but the Alpine and Laufyerson can’t?”

“One, Whiskey and Tequila love me unconditionally. Two, my house, my rules,” I turned and walked to the produce section.

Bucky grumbled something about a cat assassin before pushing our near full cart after me. He actively groaned when I put more of Tony’s smoothie thing in the cart, but then I watched him put a whole box of plums into the cart. I arched an eyebrow at him but said nothing. No doubt I would have to make some sort of plum pie by the end of the weekend because it was humanly impossible to eat that much fruit by himself. When we were at the checkout, the lady behind the till stared at us, like she was trying to figure out our life history in the short time we’d be standing in front of her. 

“Y’all feedin’ your family for the holiday weekend?” Her tone was polite. 

“Hoping this last longer than just the weekend,” I wheezed watching the total on display go up and up. 

“You’re feeding 10 grown-ass men and a woman who eats even more. Plus us,” Bucky laughed.

“Oh, are y’all having one of those new-age weddin’s?” The clerk asked.

I choked at that, “No, no, just feedin’ a small army.”

“This place was great, why don’t we shop here more?” Bucky stared back at the expanse of the store, a ridiculous grin on his face.

“I ain’t making this drive once a week,” I said, reaching round to my backpack for my wallet. 

“That’ll be $823.12,” The lady looked at me expectantly. 

I dug my hand into my bag and felt the makeup bag. I turned to Bucky, scowled at him briefly, then fished out my wallet. My debit card was shoved up the reader and I angrily jabbed my pin into the keypad. I watched my money disappear into the stomach of a biker gang as the mile-long receipt began to print out. Bucky boxed up the loose groceries and put them back in the cart. I was glad I brought the bigger cooler today.

“What time is it?” Bucky asked, strolling through the parking lot.

“It's… nearly 1:30,” I sighed. “We were in there forever.”

“Do you think we could stop for lunch?”

“Sure, Buck,” I smiled, more than happy to continue indulging in this domestic bliss. 

=============================== 

I braided my hair for the third time. My arms ached and my back was starting to seize up because of the weird angle I was sat at. Nothing was coming outright, or maybe it was and my anxiety-ridden mind was getting the better of me. Not only did I have to delegate all of the evening chores out so we would have time to get ready and drive to the Laramie’s, I just kept getting this sinking feeling in my stomach anytime I thought about sharing a dinner table with Mrs. Laramie. 

“You ready to go baby girl?” Bucky leaned against the door frame of the bedroom. 

“Stop being so effortlessly pretty,” I groaned at him when I saw him through the mirror. 

Bucky was wearing his fitted black jeans, but instead of wearing the black pearl snap, he had opted to root around a box of Papaw old clothes that we never had the heart to donate. So there he stood in a faded blue mechanic's short-sleeved shirt. The old embroidered name patch was fraying at the side. No one knew who Lobo was, but Memaw had found that shirt in a 50¢ bin at Goodwill ages ago and it had only needed a few buttons replaced. Bucky’s shoulders and biceps stretched the fabric and he’d tucked in the tails of his shirt, only accenting the broad muscular shape of his upper half. I was beginning to think all clothes were just made to make him look big and strong.

Okay, so, pretty maybe wasn’t the right word to describe this look. Ruggedly handsome? Sure, a bit basic. Hot? Bucky could wear a feed sack and still be hot. Sinful? That was Bucky to a T on a regular day. Mouthwateringly, heart stampeding-ly, romance novel levels of loins achingly gorgeous? Yeah, that got pretty close. I let out a puff of breath to blow the flyaways from my face and to let out some tension.

My hair flopped down my back. I gave up trying to make it look any nicer than freshly washed and mostly dry. My hands stretched high above my head to relieve some of the aches in my joints when I stood up. Bucky pulled away from the door and sauntered over to me. Both of his hands landed on my hips.

“Doll, you look gorgeous,” Bucky leaned down and kissed me. “The dress, well that's acceptable I suppose.”

“Geez Buck,” I pushed lightly at his chest. 

“I’m just sayin’ it’d look better on the floor,” He gave me a cheeky grin and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ya better get all those dirty comments out now before we get there,” I teased, wrapping my arms around his neck. 

“Just the comments, doll?” Bucky slid his hands back around to squeeze my butt.

My breath hitched, and then I giggled. “C’mon, we can’t be late.”

The Laramie’s ranch was extensive. It seemed that in the past few years they’d gone fully commercial, and now that I was seeing it in person it made sense that they’d rented out my farmland. We drove up the well lit white gravel drive. Next to the older ranch house that was like mine, stood a new, grandiose stone house all lit up like it was Christmas day. A line of shiny cars and trucks were stationed next to it. I parked my rusted, beat up, old truck next brand spanking new looking Monstanto branded Chevy Silverado. 

Beyond the house was a row of four tall silos and a huge barn. Again, inside the barn sat a shiny new International Harvester. 

“Huh,” I turned off the truck and sat back for a moment. 

“What?” Bucky looked over at the barn.

“They bought my John Deere when I was scroungin’ for money to pay for the funeral and taxes and whatnot, but I don’t see it in that barn.”

“Is that how you got that obscene amount of money you just leave lyin’ ‘round?”

“No, that something I found when I moved into Memaw’s room. She left me a note and told me it was for an emergency.” My voice sounded far off, even to my own ears.

“Your gram’ma really had a thing for leaving notes, didn’t she?” Bucky looked at me, reminding me of how this whole damn thing started because Memaw trusted me to deliver one last note.

“Yeah, her mind was startin’ to go a bit, so she left notes all over the house. I even found one in my boot once, remindin’ me to knock out my boots if I was gonna leave ‘em out overnight.” I smiled. 

We clamored down out of the truck and walked up to the front door. Bucky’s hand firmly gripped mine while I clung to an antique pie dish in my hand. I had spent all afternoon making a pecan pie for tonight.  _ Dear Lord, please let this go well and not a total disaster. _ Bucky squeezed my hand, then rang the doorbell. The heavy-looking wooden door swung open to reveal two fancy-dressed Laramie boys and a polished foyer. Overhead hung a chandelier made entirely of deer antlers. Even from here, I could see the deer heads mounted around the house. Not a style I would have associated with the preacher and his family, but then again the general opulence of it all seemed very different from his attitude at church.

“Well come on in, mama’s almost got supper on the table.” The younger one grinned. 

“I made a pecan pie for y’all, wanna show me to the kitchen?” I asked, stepping over the threshold.

Both boys turned and led me to the kitchen. They were talking at me a mile a minute about school and their summer plans that I didn’t even notice Bucky didn’t follow us. We passed through what I guessed was a living room because it had a TV and couches then by a lavishly set supper table that could have easily fit the whole gang and then some before we arrived in the impossibly large kitchen. It was all shiny and meticulously organized. It didn’t even look like they cooked in here at all. 

“Mama, they’re here.” The eldest shouted.

“And they brought pie!” The other one shot me a smile over his shoulder. 

“Abraham, Ezekiel, what have I said about shouting in the house?” The sickly sweet twang of Mrs. Laramie rang out from behind the fridge.

Both boys bolted at the reprimand from their mother, leaving me alone with her. The woman in question moved with insect-like intervals, sometimes very fast and other times very slow. Mrs. Laramie wore a high neck white dress with white embroidery on it that only made her tan skin look more like leather to me. Her shoes were also white with perfectly pedicured toes. Her hair was styled and hair sprayed to maintain its perfect shape around her sharp features. She was the complete opposite of me. 

“Hi Mrs. Laramie, how are you doin’?” I asked, still holding on to my pie. 

“I am doing just fine, how are you? You’re looking all full and glowy,” She commented.

“Good, a lot less stressed now that school is out,” I ignored the comment about my fullness. If anything I was still finding my clothes too loose.

“Oh, darling you didn’t have to bring anything over.” She slowly walked around the kitchen island to inspect the pie.

“What kinda guests would we be if we didn’t?” I tried to force a big smile. 

She hummed for a moment, eyeing one of my best school dresses, a nice lavender one with daisies on it, short flowy sleeves, and a respectable collared neck. When she took the dish from me, I noticed the multitude of shiny rings I hadn’t seen her wear to church before.

“Is this sugar-free?” She asked.

“Oh, uh, no. It’s my memaw’s recipe,” I stuttered out. 

“Well, I hope you didn’t spend too long on it,” she tutted. “The Reverend isn’t allowed sugar anymore.”

“Oh, I hope he’s alright,” I watched her set the pie down on the counter, nearly out of sight.

“Hmm, you’d have known if you came to services more,” she smiled at me. 

“Could I use your bathroom, Mrs. Laramie?” I asked, feeling the heat on my face. 

“Sure, darling, the guest bathroom is just down the hall on your left.” She waved me off without much more fanfare.

I scurried away from her and locked myself in the bathroom. A heavy breath I hadn’t realized I was holding stumbled out of my mouth. My phone buzzed away in the pocket of my dress. It had been from the moment I left Bucky. Lord knew what he was getting up to on his own.

=============================== 

Text from “Da Family”

**Bucky 💙-**

**Sam-** Well, it was nice knowing you 

**Dallas-** welcome to Texas 🐮

**Clint-** IS THAT A FUCKING BEAR?!?!?!?!

**Loki-** what horrible taste

**Tony-** is this what Texas considers nice?

**Steve-** I thought you were going to dinner at a preacher’s house, not some poacher's

**Bruce-** I’m genuinely a bit concerned for your safety.

**Natasha-** I call dibs on his stuff.

**Thor-** how big is the house

**Bucky 💙** \- it’s massive @BuckysGirl was also weirded out

**Rhodey-** isn’t rude to be using your phone while at a dinner party?

**You-** Mrs. Laramie already made a comment about me not being at church and my pie 😭

**Dallas-** well I’ll happily eat the pie 

**Bucky 💙-** where are you? It’s a fucking maze in here

=============================== 

I washed my hands and went back into the kitchen. Mrs. Laramie had her bejeweled hand wrapped around Bucky’s tattooed bicep. A long, bone finger ran up the tall buildings that covered up his scar. She toyed with the hem of his short sleeve. He looked mildly uncomfortable but completely unsure of how to dislodge our host politely. I imagine in any other situation, he’d have just shoved her off and given her some kind of scary look. From a distance, it only looked like Bucky had a tattoo, which was what he wanted. I’d seen him glare down at people who stared too hard at when we were at the bar or out shopping. He’d never say it made him self conscious, but I could tell. 

“Darling, you didn’t tell me that James was so big,” she cooed, giving him another squeeze,

“What can I say, Mrs. Laramie, I knew I’d need a big man to help out at the ranch,” I peeled her hand off his arm, “Where did you get this gorgeous ring?”

“Oh, well The Reverend and I recently went on a vacation up to Gatlinburg for our 20th wedding anniversary and he bought this for me at a lovely little boutique. Have you ever been to Gatlinburg?” Her eyes reflected the shining massive stone while she wagged her fingers in my face.

“Oh no, can’t say I’ve been farther than Dallas for the state fair,” I smiled, quickly flicking my eyes at Bucky, hoping he got the message to put some space between us.

“Well, that’s too bad. It really is a must-visit. But I imagine you’ve got so much on your plate and with money being-”

Saved by the oven timer. Mrs. Laramie laughed lightly like she wasn’t just about to make a comment about my ability to afford a vacation before turning back to get the dinner out of the oven. It smelled like some kind of chicken dish, but there was an overpowering green smell to it. We were shooed away back to the supper table before I could ask what it was. Bucky and I sat next to one another at the large solid oak table, pushing our place settings closer together. Another antler chandelier gave the walls spiked shadows. On the table were fancy china plates with little roses on them, crystal glasses filled with sweet tea, and a centerpiece made up of fake leaves and spring flowers that were so big I could barely see over it. Everything felt horrible manufactured like they never used any room is this massive house. 

“Where is she gonna put that casserole?” Buck leaned over and whispered in my ear, like speaking above that volume would be a crime.

Before I could answer, however, Rev. Laramie came into the room. He looked much more portly without his church robes on. His shirt buttons strained against his stomach. 

“James,” his voice boomed in the oversized room.

Bucky shot up and stuck out his hand, “Reverend it’s good to see you again.”

“It would be fair to say that it’s been too long,” He shook his hand with enough vigor to shake all of Bucky's impressive form.

“Well, that one keeps us all very busy over Three Moons,” Bucky let out a huffed laugh. 

“There is always time for God, son,” He frowned at Bucky, then at me.

“Yes, sir,” Bucky wiped his hand on the back of his jeans. 

Before we could be further interrogated about our Sunday activities, the boys and Mrs. Laramie came into the room with the casserole dish and bowls of salad. Rev. Laramie cleared his throat and folded his hands over his stomach. Bucky looked at my folded hands, then mimed mine. 

“Lord God and giver of all good gifts, we are grateful as we pause before this meal, for all the blessings of life that you give to us. Daily, we are fed with good things, nourished by friendship and care, feasted with forgiveness and understanding. And so, mindful of your continuous care, we pause to be grateful for the blessings of this table. May your presence be the extra taste to this meal which we eat in the name of your son, Jesus.”

“Amen,” we all dutifully hummed. 

Our plates were laden with helpings of cold salad and what I now saw as chicken and broccoli casserole. For a moment it was silent, we all ate at varying speeds; the boys scarfed down their meal, Rev. Laramie shoveled in his casserole, Mrs. Laramie took small forkfuls of salad, and Bucky and I tried to eat without making a face. The meal was horrible. There was no flavor in the casserole, it was just dry chicken, mushy broccoli, and undercooked brown rice. I guess the extra flavor for tonight really was coming from God tonight. 

“So James, what did you do before you were a farmhand?” Mrs. Laramie asked, before tonguing at the plastic straw in her crystal glass.

“Oh, uh, well, Ma’am, I was in the Marines,” Bucky smiled. 

“They let ya have hair like that in the Army?” Rev. Laramie swallowed his last bite of food.

“No, Sir, when I got back stateside, I decided the buzzcut didn’t suit me.” Bucky joked. 

“Did ya ever shoot anybody?” The youngest Laramie asked.

“Ezekiel, you don’t ask questions like that at the dinner table.” Mrs. Laramie waved him off. 

I noticed how she phrased that rebuke, like the question would have been acceptable somewhere that wasn’t the supper table. I let my hand fall from its place at the table to grab Bucky’s knee to wordlessly offer support. 

“How are the fields this season?” I asked Rev. Laramie. 

“Well, they’ve been wetter than normal. My Monsanto guy is trying to convince me I need to spray this new pesticide, but I’m not sure it will last with all this rain,” he leaned back in his chair, plate now empty. 

“Well, I wouldn’t trust those big corporate guys to begin with, what do they know about us small farmers?” I tried to engage. 

“We aren't much of small operation anymore. I got a big deal with Monsanto a few years ago after we bought out another ranch,” he explained. 

“What happened to ‘small farms are the backbone of America’?” I teased, remembering some of his old sermons. 

“Well, we got the boys’ tuition to think about and college ain’t cheap,” he frowned. 

“James, how do you feel about kids?” Mrs. Laramie interjected. 

“I haven’t really thought about it,” Bucky shrugged.

“But will you two be thinking about it soon?” She arched a well-plucked eyebrow in our direction.

“It’s a bit early for us to be thinkin’ about kids right now,” He explained, a cool smile still plastered on his face. 

“Well, I just heard from some people in town a few weeks ago that you two little love birds seemed pretty serious. Martin Stewart even commented about how you’d pick up our little darling from school almost every day.” Mrs. Laramie's voice dripped with that sickly sweet venom.

“James and I have only been seeing each other for a couple a months. We aren’t talking about anything serious yet,” I laughed uneasily. 

“Well, it only takes one conversation to know if a man worth pursuing, darling,” Mrs. Laramie pressed on, firm lines set in her face. 

“Boys, why don’t you clear up your plates, us grown-ups are gonna have an adult conversation,” Rev. Laramie gave his boys a stern look, then smiled at Bucky and me.

Once the boys had cleaned up and said good night to us, they all but sprinted up the stairs of the house. This had clearly been an orchestrated plan.

“Your boys sure grew up fast, I remember babysitting ‘em when they were only yay high,” I filled the awkward silence that settled around the supper table. Bucky’s hand fell onto mine and squeezed, but his face gave nothing away. 

“James, are you religious?” Mrs. Laramie pushed her plate away and folded her hands together.

“I was raised Catholic, Ma’am,” Bucky nodded.

“Hmm, and where did you say you were from?” Her tone leaning towards disapproval. 

“I didn’t say, Ma’am,” Bucky’s smile was empty, nothing like the marshmallow smiles he normally gave me.

“You know Mrs. Laramie, that casserole was so delicious. Could you give me the recipe?” I tried to sound eager and not desperate to change the subject.

“It’s just the recipe on the can of cream of chicken soup, darling,” Mrs. Laramie gave me an exasperated look. 

“Why’d you leave the marines?” Rev. Laramie questioned next. 

“You can never really leave, can you?” I responded for Bucky. “Once a marine always, a marine.”

“I’m not active personnel anymore,” Bucky supplied. 

“So are you just here for the season then?” He asked next.

“I am here for as long as this little lady will have me,” Bucky winked at me, which was probably not the best idea.

“Are you sure it’s safe to have all those men around when you’re by yourself darling?”

“I feel extremely safe having those farmhands around Mrs. Laramie. They become like family to me.” I smiled for real at that. “Dallas is back in town as well.” 

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up about him sticking around, once a runner always a runner,” Mrs. Laramie clicked her tongue. “I heard a rumor he got into some trouble with some motorcycle gang.”

“A motorcycle gang?” Bucky sounded taken aback. “Here?”

I had to hold in my eye roll at that. Bucky was good at faking concern over his gang's connection to my brother and their presence in town. 

“Yes, I know what you mean James, but even small towns like ours aren’t immune to gang violence these days,” Rev. Laramie sighed.  _ What gang violence? _

“The bigger issue, I heard is that there is another new gang in town.” Mrs. Laramie gossiped.  _ Oh so now she is talking about the Avengers. _

“And I thought I had moved on to a slower way of life by taking this job,” Bucky shook his head, his little man bun bobbing back and forth.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about it James, they seem to only be having issues with each other.” Mrs. Laramie soothed, reaching across the table to grab the hand that still rested there.

“Yes, but when is the county sheriff going to take our complaints seriously? He knows he’s in an elected position.” Rev. Laramie huffed.

“Well he should do something soon, I know of a few of the ladies in town who have started carrying their guns in their purses all the time now.”

“That seems a bit dramatic,” I reasoned. 

“It’s our God-given right to protect ourselves,” Rev. Laramie frowned at me. 

“Do you go huntin’ often?” Bucky shifted the subject with ease. 

“Oh yeah, only three things that matter in life are God, family, and huntin’,” Rev Laramie grinned big and stupid, also happy to talk about something easy.

“I saw that you have, uh, gosh I don’t even know what all in your livin’ room. Do you mind showin’ me?” Bucky asked. 

“Let’s let the men talk about their guns darling. Could you help clean up these dishes?” Mrs. Laramie stood up from the table. 

“Sure thing, Mrs. Laramie,” I shot Bucky a look of annoyance and stacked up the plates left on the table and went into the kitchen. 

Mrs. Laramie followed behind me with the empty salad bowls and the casserole dish. I opened the dishwasher and started loading up the dirty dishes.  _ Maybe I could get a dishwasher. It would be so much easier than having to fight over doing dishes every night.  _ When I stood up again, I watched Mrs. Laramie dump the leftover food into her and turn the disposal on.  _ What a waste… even if it was gross. _

“James is really quite the looker, isn’t he?” Mrs. Laramie hummed. 

“He has a lot of amazin’ qualities,” I spoke into the dishwasher, loading in the casserole dish she handed me. 

“You know, Martin Stewart asked about you in church the other week. He really is the sweetest, so concerned about you all by yourself in that little house of yours,” she leaned against the counter. “Why didn’t you ever go with him? He’s got a stable job, no tattoos, he’s from town.”

“Martin Stewart just isn’t the man for me,” I closed the dishwasher harder than necessary. 

“I know how tempting it can be to… to test the waters at your age,” Mrs. Laramie crossed her arms. “What would your Memaw say about you basically living in sin with all those men around the farm?”

“I can take care of myself, Mrs. Laramie,” I assured her. 

“You aren’t getting any younger darling. You need to find yourself a good Christian boy to settle down with. When I was your age the Reverend and I were already married and trying for our first baby.”

“Mrs. Laramie, I’m not sure I’m really comfortable with this conversation.” I crossed my arms. 

“What’s a bit of gossip between neighbors? We are practically family darling,” she rubbed my shoulder. “Let’s talk more about Martin, I think he would be a great match for you.”

“No, Mrs. Laramie, I’m gonna have to insist we don’t talk about Mr. Stewart. He works at the school with me and that is where that relationship ends. I am not interested in him.” I frowned. 

“Now come on, he’s so sweet and caring. He just wants to make sure you are safe and sound,” she cooed, clearly not getting the message. 

“And so does James, he cares about me a lot,” I tried to explain to her. 

“He’s just a farmhand darling, at the end of the season he’ll just up and leave you. No one wants a chewed up piece of gum.”

  
  


I could feel my composure beginning to crack. What had Stewart done? Begged this woman to talk him up to me, to indirectly torment me? What had he done to convince Mr. Laramie he was so right for me? The tight, anxious feeling in my stomach was quickly rising to my chest.

“If James cared about you darling, he’d have a firm hand about you going to church on Sundays.”

I looked at the clock on the microwave above the stove. It was nearly 8 pm. We could probably get away with leaving. I faked a yawn. 

“Oh sorry,” I covered my mouth. “I’m sure you're right Mrs. Laramie, but you know how ranch life gets. I think it might be time for us to head on home.”

“You better take your lovely dessert. I can’t have you tempting the Reverend too,” her voice had a sinister teasing quality to it. 

Mrs. Laramie shoved the pie into my hands and turned me around. My feet started moving me towards the sounds of Bucky and Rev. Laramie speaking about something or other. She followed close behind me, continuing to try and talk Mr. Stewart up. Going on and on about how hard it was to find single Christian men and how  _ Martin _ was doing some much volunteering for the church right now and did you know he was going to a Spiritual Revival camp at the end of June in New Orleans? Maybe you should attend that camp with him. It would be so good for you.

“And this one, I shot with a Small-Plot Smasher Ambush 300 Blackout,” Rev. Laramie pointed up at a 10 point buck mounted over his mantle.

“Do you really need a semi-automatic weapon to take down a deer that size?” Bucky had his arms folded across his chest.

“Well, it’s more for fun than anything else. Makes a heck of a lot a noise,” he laughed and slapped Bucky on the shoulder. 

“I bet it does,” Bucky smiled half-heartedly. 

“Boys I think it’s time to call it a night,” Mrs. Laramie called out from the entryway. 

Bucky’s head snapped to make eye contact with me. He looked ready to either kill everyone or run out screaming, maybe both. I made another half faked yawn behind my hand before I smiled at them. 

“Sorry Rev. Laramie, but I’m gonna have to take James home. We got chores in the morning and I need my beauty sleep.”

“No need to apologize, I’m sure we could always continue our conversation another time,” The reverend clapped Bucky on the back and started walking us towards the door. 

“Well, it was a nice evening,” I ground out.

“Next time we should come round to your house for dinner,” Mrs. Laramie grinned almost maliciously. 

“Oh, I don’t know, the house isn’t nearly as nice as your home,” I lied. 

“Well, it was lovely to meet you properly, Mrs. Laramie,” Bucky stuck out his hand for her to shake, but she wrapped her thin tanned arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug. 

I watched her rub his shoulders and give him another firm squeeze before releasing him. I waved politely, not actually making eye contact with either Laramie. We were just over the threshold with Mrs. Laramie called out after me.

“Don’t you go eating all the pie tonight darling, no one likes a chunky monkey.”

Instead of acknowledging that comment I grabbed Bucky’s hand and dragged him over to the truck. We didn’t speak a word to each other until we were pulling up to the house. The porch light was on, but no one sat outside. I parked outside the grain barn and leaned back against the truck seat. A heavy sigh passed over my lips, releasing some tension from my chest. I heard Bucky also let out an equally heavy sigh and I couldn’t help but giggle. Soon we were both laughing uncontrollably. What a nightmare of an evening. 

“C’mon, you know they’re waitin’ for us inside,” I grabbed the untouched pie and jumped out. 

“Never let me accept a dinner invitation again,” Bucky wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked up to the porch. 

=============================== 

We were all crammed around the dinner table, beer in one hand, pie in the other. Bucky had just finished listing off the number and variety of dead animals mounted around their house. 

“Thank god you don’t decorate like fuckin’ insane person,” Sam cringed.

“That’s just the house, not even the people,” I took a swig on my beer. “I ask how Mrs. Laramie was doing, and she made a comment about my weight right away.”

“She what?” Natasha stared at me.

“Apparently I’m getting fat y’all.” I belly-laughed and slapped my stomach.

“I still can’t believe she had the balls to say no one likes a chunky monkey when we left,” Bucky frowned at that. “Like was she trying to insult you or me? Or both of us?”

“She was really on a size thing tonight wasn’t she James. Oh James you’re so big,” I teased, rubbing his shoulder.

“Don’t I’m gonna throw up,” he faked a gagging motion.

“Preacher’s wife really that handsy?” Tony asked. 

“That woman has always been something else,” Dallas frowned. 

“I’d say from the amount of semi-automatic and automatic weapons that man owns, he is definitely overcompensating for something,” Bucky chuckled and took another swig of his beer. 

“Oh god and the interrogation they tried to do on us,” I groaned. “If I had to hear one more thing about how great Stewart is or how much he ‘worried’ about I was gonna cut a bitch.”

“Who was sayin’ that shit?” Bucky turned fully to me. 

“Who do you think? She’s tryin’ to save my soul Buck, cause I’m living in sin and temptation,” I rolled my eyes. 

“Oh yeah, cause we’ve really corrupted you,” Loki snorted.

“I haven’t lived so, so, so wholesomely ever. This place is sucking the bad right out of me,” Thor laughed. 

“You’re all getting soft,” Steve smirked.

“You read a newspaper every day like an old man,” Tony waved his hand at the stack of old papers.

“It’s important to keep up on current events,” Steve insisted. 

“Oh, I’ve got a current event,” I raised my empty beer bottle. “Stewart’s going away at the end of June apparently. So feel free to… do whatever then.”

“So the night wasn’t a total waste,” Natasha smirked.

“Oh no, I got to see Bucky in this shirt, I learned how God can’t flavor your supper, and I learned that the Laramie’s own more guns than sense,” I smirked.

We chatted well into the night, catching up like we hadn’t spent nearly every other night like this. It was so easy to just be a part of this, of the conversation with them now. I was finally settling into all their quirks and jokes. They just seemed to fill all the corners of my life that I’d left empty to collect dust. Beer and pie long gone, and still, no one made a move to leave. I hadn’t even noticed when we’d all moved into the living room. Bucky had pulled me into his lap on the armchair, and I felt at home with my family.


	17. Floating Away

The soft soil of the garden prodded and pinched at my skin as I knelt between the empty rows. My gloved fingers dug shallow, evenly spaced holes into the ground as I planted the sprouts. The bright sun that burned at the back of my neck was the complete opposite of what was forecasted and I couldn’t waste the day. These little guys were getting too big for their trays and needed to be in the ground before we got any more rain. 

I wiped my brow with the back of my hand and sat back on my haunches. It was getting close to 4:30 now but I was nearly done. I just needed to hunker down and get this finished, then finish up chores, and then maybe convince Bucky to take a bath with me. It’d be a squeeze, but I just wanted to relax in privacy with my man. 

_My man… I bet Bucky just loves what he’s doing to me. First, I’m even considering taking a bath, and now I’m thinking about taking one with him. All I can think about these days is Bucky and getting to spend as much time as possible with him. Like at any moment he will just disappear._

When the final sprout was securely planted with its little friends, I took the empty trays back into the grain barn and wandered over to the barn. Inside, Bucky sat on the floor playing with Alpine. The kitten was getting bigger and bigger, she no longer clung to her mother. No, now she clung to Bucky just like I did. Desperate for his attention and affection. My footsteps were softened by the loose hay that was scattered across the floor allowing me to sneak up on him. I lent down to wrap my arms around his neck. 

“I’m about to let the horses in,” I hummed against his neck. 

“Hey baby girl,” Bucky murmured and wrapped one hand around my forearm while still playing with the cat. 

“You okay?” I asked, trying to lean around and meet his eyes.

“We’re leaving for a job tonight,” he squeezed my arm and stood up, still holding on to me. 

I giggled and wrapped my legs around his waist. _Geez, he is too strong for his own good._ Playfulness aside, I knew he wasn’t happy about having to go. 

“Is it just you going?” I ran my hand over his chest in a way that I hoped was comforting. 

“No everyone’s going,” he sighed again. “Well no, Loki gets to stay because that little shit stabbed the wrong guy last time we did a job like this.”

“Well, you’ll be back soon enough and then we can have welcome back sex,” I nuzzled his neck before sliding down to stand.

“Oh no, no, you can’t just leave me like that,” he turned to chase after me when I walked into the stable. 

“What time do you leave?”

“Probably after dinner, Stevie’s edgy like always when Tony has to get directly involved, so wants to get things done quick.” Bucky opened stall doors. 

“I’m sure it will all be fine,” I pulled out the wheelbarrow and started to fill the feed troughs in the stall. 

“You sound extra sure, doll,” Bucky shook his head at me walking next to me.

“Well, I gotta be sure cause I don’t have much else to do besides worry,” I stopped to smile at him and went back to work. 

After all the troughs were filled and stall doors open, Bucky followed me to the gate. I gave him a look that said ‘are you serious?’ and he just returned it like it was no big deal. I swung it open and we stood behind the gate as the sound of crashing hooves and snorting filled the barn. The horses knew the drill. They knew what stall was theirs and they knew supper was waiting for them. So I took that opportunity to watch Bucky as they stampeded into the stables. I saw large, calloused hands grip the rusted blue metal of the gate with a slight sense of fear, but his eyes held nothing but wonder. _Is this what he looked like the day went ridin’?_

When the last animal was in for the night, I swung the gate closed and secured the chain. Stall doors were closed and chickens were herded back into the coop and Bucky stuck to my side the whole time. He seemed more eager to have ‘us’ time than normal before a job. 

“Is there somethin’ you ain’t sayin’ Buck?” I lounged against the coop while the dogs did their thing.

“I don’t like leavin’ ya alone s’all. Especially with that stupid fucker still walkin’ round,” he practically growled, his accent getting a bit stronger.

“Hey, we just did that huge shop so I won’t need to leave the ranch, I can invite Darcy over so Loki doesn’t go stir crazy and ditch me, and I will be fine. You just worry about the job. The ranch will always be here,” I thread my index fingers through his belt loops and pulled him into me. 

If Bucky needed this reassurance from me now, I was more than happy to provide the words. Even if I knew I would be worried sick the whole time they were gone and going stir crazy myself, I’d tell him anything he needed to hear. I ran my nose along the side of his jaw, enjoying the scratch of his scruffy facial hair against my cheek. The subtle scent of sweat and Old Spice made me smile. His hands settled on either side of my neck and guided my lips to his.

Our kiss was slow but full of longing and intent. My lips parted with ease and Bucky’s tongue dove in to explore like he hadn’t done it hundreds of times already. Every kiss like this felt like the first one. Even with all the fear of that initial kiss, there was something that felt so unexplainable right about kissing Bucky. There was a fluttering in my stomach and sparking sensation in my arms and legs. _I could do this all day_ , I thought to myself. My hands moved to skim across the muscles hidden under Bucky’s t-shirt. 

The clanging of the supper bell and barking of dogs caused us to reluctantly break apart. I let the pout on my face show. Bucky kissed me again, chaste, closed-mouthed, and quick, before grabbing my hand and dragging us back to the house. Our boots clattered around the porch next to others and we rushed up the stairs to my bedroom to wash up and change and get a little more fresh with each other. 

Supper was tense, to say the least. Steve was indeed edgy and the silence caused by it was thick. I had never seen him like this before. Angry sure, but this kind of tension resting on his shoulders seemed to run deep. Deep enough that the others also felt it. I saw the stiff way they all ate dinner and swapped heavy gazes between each other. Saddlebags were lined up in the living room already. They’d be leaving directly after the meal to get where it is they needed to be. 

Dishes were ignored, but Tequila and Whiskey were quickly fed before we all marched out the grain barn. Engines roared to life and the shiny metal beasts were guided out. I climbed on behind Bucky if only to have a few more seconds to hold on to him and not just for a ride down to close the gate. My hand glided across the large ‘A’ on the back on his jacket one final time, lingering along the edge of the embroidered patch. The letter was a stark reminder of what he was and what they did for a living. I forced myself to keep in mind they worked on contracts, that they were veterans, that they donated their spare change to charities, and that it wasn’t like I wasn’t one of their contracts now. I was asking them to do illegal things. I was just as bad as they were, and probably always had been. 

Bucky didn’t take his helmet off when I was back on the ground, but one his gloved hand squeezed my hip a final time. The motorcycle engine was deafening compared to the silence that usually enveloped the ranch at sunset. Glowing orange and red rays reflected off the bikes as they kicked up the dust on the dirt road. I waved until I couldn’t see them anymore.

Back at the house, the silence was almost suffocating. Loki lounged across the sofa, doing whatever it was that Loki did. His attitude still hadn’t shifted from the tension at supper. He was clearly upset about being forced to stay behind for my sake. I washed the dishes, the splashing and clanking too loud in the house now. 

“Hey,” I called out when I was done. “You should invite Darcy over if you want.”

“Are you already bored of my company Pinkie Pie?” Loki’s eyes briefly flicked up from his phone. 

“Now, Loki, how could I ever be bored with you around?” I teased. “But seriously I don’t want ya gettin’ bored and I know bein’ stuck with me is no fun. So invite Darcy over whenever.”

I did take a bath, just one that all by myself. I even went so far as to drag out one of the candles for the severe weather kit and a romance novel I hadn’t re-read in months. With every flick of the flame and the page, my thoughts wandered back to Bucky. These stories were all the same - strong-willed, independent, take no shit women meeting their match. The men were dark and dangerous, but always secretly good-hearted and wonderful. It was times like this where I wondered if Bucky was the opposite. It was clear, even with the death threats, there was something very dark he was hiding from me. That part of him that came out on jobs. Was that why he didn’t want me to bother him when he was away? He didn’t want me to even get a peek at that part of him.

Warm water lapped at my legs as I slid further into the water. There were too many things to think about and this wasn’t how I wanted to spend my evening. The original plan had been intimacy, it certainly still could be. I knew now, because of all that ridiculous research I did, that may be a quick ‘me’ time session could help relax, lower my worries a bit. Loki had wandered off to the farmhands’ house before I’d come upstairs so I was certainly alone apart from the dogs. 

I thumbed through the worn paperback in my hand. The familiar yellowed pages echoed in the empty bathroom as they scratched against each other. When I found my favorite scene, I flipped back a page to get the placement and build up. 

_“He kissed her hungrily and deeply, his tongue stroking and coaxing, and she began to tingle everywhere. Her heart pounded, her stomach fluttered, and she was suddenly gripping his shoulders so that she wouldn’t fall down.”_

My hand slipped underneath the water as I thought about how Bucky kissed. His soft, chapped lips bruising my own with need. How it was going to feel when he kissed me again. My fingers traced and teased my folds as memories of our first kiss flashed in my mind. The way he made my body feel alive again without even trying.

_“He groaned from the touch of her soft breasts against him; she sighed from the heat of his body against hers._

_His hands were suddenly all over her. He stroked her shoulder, the curve of her spine, her silky thighs.”_

The rough, warm feeling of Bucky’s hands against my skin was something I ached for now. His knowledge, his way of somehow knowing my body better than I even knew it. I let my fingers slowly start to circle around my clit as my core began to throb with need. I imagined Bucky’s fingers stretching and pulling out these needy, breathless sounds from me. Not me. At this moment, it wasn’t my hand. No matter how much different my hand feels to his, I can still remember and imagine his hands on my body.

_“Never in her wildest fantasies had she ever imagined making love to be like this. He wouldn’t let her hold back, and as he made love to her with his mouth, she arched up against him, screamed his name, and scored his shoulders with her nail.”_

I dropped the book over the edge of the tub, freeing my other hand. The goosebumps on my flesh were caused by a mix of the cool water and growing need between my legs. My fingers moved harder, faster against my clit as my other hand massaged my breast. I could feel my orgasm building. The muscles in my legs began to tremble and my breathing became erratic. I longed for Bucky- his touch, his mouth, his taste. I remembered the raw feeling of him in my mouth, the salty, musky scent of sex, the weight of him on my tongue. I could almost taste him cumming down my throat again when I reached my peak. My muscles spasmed at that. I felt my orgasm ripple out from my core to my legs, chest, and arms. A sigh escaped my lips as my body released some of its tension, feeling both alive and not. 

_“ “Now you tell me.”_

_“Tell you what?” She whispered._

_“That you love me. I want to hear the words again.”_

_“I love you.”_

_She fell asleep waiting for him to tell her that he loved her.”_

The tired romance novel laid on my bedside table. I wrapped myself in one of Bucky's long sleeve shirts that he’d left behind. The soft red fabric was a comfort I still struggled to understand. My bed seemed all too big without him. How had he, in such a short time, taken over my world? I fell asleep contemplating my feelings for Bucky, wondering if what I was feeling was just the sinking loneliness again, or was I beginning to love him... 

=============================== 

Darcy arrived at the ranch the following afternoon. Jane dropped her off in their van with a bag and a ‘enjoy your days off’ wave goodbye. That was four days ago. I hadn’t seen heads or tails of either Darcy or Loki since then. Food and coffee were going missing, and Loki’s bike was still parked in the grain barn, but that was the only way to know that they hadn’t just up and left the ranch. The knowledge that people were here, but didn’t want to be around me was oppressive. I knew I wasn’t a super fun ball of joy, but I also had responsibilities. It had gotten so bad not only were the dogs sleeping in bed with me for company, I had dragged Alpine out of the barn and introduced her to the house. 

“Bucky is gonna torment me for the rest of my life,” I stared at the small white cat laying on top of Whiskey. 

Of course, the dogs would make fast friends with the kitten. They loved having more friends in the house. Alpine seemed just as excited to explore the new space. I didn’t enjoy her clawing at things though. _I’ll make some kind of scratch post tomorrow after morning chores_ , I thought to myself. 

“Uggghhhhhhh,” I groaned and threw myself down on the porch swing, kicking off with too much force. 

I pulled out my stupid phone and looked at its stupid empty notification screen. I thought about texting Bucky, hell I even thought about texting Loki to make sure he was alive, but I closed my eyes instead. Being alone was nothing new to me. I shouldn’t be this restless. I had spent all day making plum jam because I couldn’t stand eating them raw anymore. During the whole process, I just grumbled about Bucky appreciating me and his silly plum addiction. One of these days he was gonna turn into a plum and then he’d be sorry. 

I looked over at the troublesome threesome next to me on the porch. They looked peaceful, happy to be enjoying the cool evening weather after the scorcher of a day we had. I grabbed my big travel mug and took a long pull of iced tea. Why not fuel up on more caffeine, it wasn’t like I was sleeping the best anyhow. 

“It’s been four days!” I exclaimed to the dogs who just watched me. “What’s wrong with me?”

There were no answers from Tequila, Whiskey, or even Alpine. I stared hard at them for a moment longer, willing myself to be able to read their minds for anything. But all there was crickets chirping and a flash of heat lightning. 

“I don’t even know why I hang out with you guys anymore,” I crossed my arms and stared out into the night. 

There was another distant lightning flash and I sighed at my own crazy. 

“Fine, fine, be that way. I’m just gonna get ready for bed then,” I walked back into the house and upstairs. 

Even when I took triple the time it took to get ready for bed, I was still restless when I climbed under the covers. The dogs circled the bed while Alpine plopped her tiny soft body right up against my neck. The little thing purred when I scratched behind her ears. I caved. I grabbed my phone from the table and snapped a picture of us on the bed. 

=============================== 

Text to “Bucky 💙”

You- [Picture Attached]

You- I’ve had to replace you Buck. Only a little sorry.

=============================== 

The soft beeping of my alarm came out of nowhere. I couldn’t even remember falling asleep. There was no new notification from Bucky on my phone, he hadn’t even read the messages if the little gray ticks next to the messages meant anything. I scrubbed my face and got dressed for chores. Alpine curled up on to Bucky’s pillow while I forced the dogs out of the bed to throw the covers into some sense of the bed being made. I snapped another picture of the cat and sent it to Bucky. Hopefully, something to start his day on a happy note. 

I sipped my coffee slowly while I watched the sun finish rising from the porch. The irrigation system was on, reminding me I couldn’t spend all day staring out over the glorious Texas summer sky. I finished my coffee, thinking about the to-do list for the day. Maybe after I made the DIY cat scratching post, I’d wash the sheet in the farmhands’ house. I have seen three sets of sheets being washed, and they all belonged to the occupants of the house. Despite my great distaste in that particular chore, I’m sure the gesture would be appreciated. 

Cat post built and tucked out of the way in the living room, I tucked the biggest laundry basket I owned under my arm and ventured out to the farmhands’ house. The thought occurred that I would finally get to see Loki and Darcy. Then another thought occurred to me, they’d been holed up for 5 days, lord knew what state the interior of the building would be in. I knocked on the door to the house. I waited but heard nothing. I knocked another two times to no response. 

“Please be decent,” I mumbled as I entered the building.

Beyond the stall smell of ‘man’, the house was empty from what I could tell. I looked at the strange fort built at the far end of the house by the kitchenette. Had Darcy and Loki built a sheet fort for fun? Had they used clean sheets for it at least? I stripped the bed, throwing the sweat-stained sheets into the basket. When the sheets were removed from the final bed, a set of knives fell out from underneath it. 

“What are you doing?” Loki peered out from the fort.

“I’m gonna wash y’all’s nasty sheets.” I stuck my tongue out at him. “What are you two doing?”

“Sex fort,” Loki grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“Oh gross, what the fuck is he doing now?” Darcy screeched then. 

“Darcy,” I shouted. “What are you doing?”

Darcy pulled back a corner of the fort and smiled at me. A long white earphone hung from one of her ears. If this was a sex fort, she and Loki were both overdressed. A faint blue-ish glow lit the back of Darcy’s head. Where had they gotten a TV? 

“Hey, do you wanna watch with us?” She grinned and pulled the sheet back further, causing it to slip from its hold with the rest of the structure. 

“I’m not gonna watch porn with…” My gaze shifted from the screen with two people literally having sex over a bail of hay to the second screen next to it. That pinched rat face on the other screen was one that would forever be burned into my mind. Bile began to rise in my throat.

“Well, now that you’ve been permanently scarred, do you want to do surveillance with us?” Loki stepped in front of my eye line. The deep frown set across his face and concern in his eyes told me it was rhetorical questions. He wanted me as far away from this place as possible. 

I shook my head and forced myself to calmly walk out the building with my laundry basket overflowing with bedding. The laundry was done in three patches, hung up to dry on the line outside the back of the house. Wind wiped the sheets and clusters of my hair that had come free from my ponytail. I stood amongst the pale blues and whites of the fabric, feeling transported. Every clap of the fabric against itself pushed me further away from the ranch. My body was no longer mine, just a pound of flesh that I was trapped in. I wanted to float away on the breeze. There were no tears, not even the tightness in my chest that I was so used to. 

This was my life now. There was someone I knew, someone my brother even knew, a known person in the community, trying to hurt me. That was the honest to God truth and I had asked a biker gang to do awful things to that person. A biker gang that, despite any stereotypes there might be about that kind of group on TV, was respectful and surprisingly domestic. They included me in their group and treated me with much more kindness than anyone else at church or school ever had. They were my people. They were my friends. They were my family. I would do anything for them. 

=============================== 

Text to “Da Family”

You- My only question is how did you get all that stuff here?

Clint- What stuff? 0.0

Sam- You just leave the truck keys around. It was easy driving over to best buy to buy shit. 

Loki- I would just like it stated for the record she barged in

You- I knocked three times. 

Thor- why were you in our room?

Clint- yeah ya nosey nelly

You- I washed your sheets. 

Sam- you didn’t have to do that

You- I wanted to be nice

You- and also to make sure Loki was alive

Dallas- 

Steve- get off your fucking phones

===============================

I slipped on my faded bottoms and tied the bikini top behind my back and neck. The weather was blazingly hot again and I had an afternoon to kill. There wasn’t another weed that could be pulled in the garden, nothing needing washing, and the thought of just sitting in the house when the weather was this gorgeous was insane. My riding pants fit like a glove still thankfully. The plan for the afternoon was run Margarita for about an hour, then take a break at the lake until it was time for chores. 

My towel and small backpack were tucked on to the back of Margarita’s saddle when I heard Loki and Darcy in the barn. I looped her reins around a post and walked over to them. They were both entranced by the cats. The chubby one - Laufyerson - was displaying his large belly for Loki to scratch him and Darcy was playing with one of the calicos. 

“Hey, I’m going ridin’. I was thinkin’ about making tacos for dinner since it’s Tuesday. Do you want some?”

“Yes, Taco Tuesday,” Darcy cheered. 

“Are you gonna hang with us tonight after?” Loki asked.

“Nah, not tonight. I think I’ve had my fill of barnyard pornography.” I made a disgusted face before flashing them a smile.

Riding with my best girl was exactly what I needed. The bags under my eyes didn’t feel as heavy and the ache in my thighs and back were from something fun, rather laborious and tedious. Margarita huffed and snorted as I slowed us down next to the far side of the pasture by the lake. I threw the saddle over the fence so she didn’t get too hot, then began peeling off my sweat-drenched clothes. 

Dark green water sparkled under the Texas sun. The heat of the sun caused thin mirages to appear across the hard, dry grass surrounding the lake and further out. Colors began to weave into one and texture my view. The water was almost ice cold in comparison to the air temperature. A squeal erupted from my lips that quickly turned into manic giggles. Youthful giddiness filled me up out of nowhere. When was the last time I had gone swimming?

I floated on the surface of the water, enjoying the weightless feeling. All around I could hear only the blood pulsing in my ears and the wild thoughts running through my mind. They started off simple enough; what kind of tacos did I wanna make for supper. We had most of the stuff, just missing the lettuce. I had to force myself to finish off all the greens we’d picked up for Tony while only craving cherry Pop-Tarts. That thought only led me to copious amounts of plum jam in my fridge and the lack of bread in the house. Jam then led me to the garden, thinking about how the strawberries were ready to be picked and how everything else was progressing. The carrots were coming along nicely in particular. Dancing carrots floated around my skull while images of Bucky’s silly marshmallow face when I promised to buy the seeds for him, which then led me to think about kissing him to get that pout off his lips. My thoughts stumbled to more salacious things. I closed my eyes against the sun and enjoyed the freedom of the moment. 

That freedom only lasted for a short time however because someone was trying to drown me. A splash big enough to cause a wave to crash over me and pushed me further out into the lake. Coughing and spluttering, I kicked myself off my back and started to tread water. 

“Oh shit, doll, are you okay?” 

Bucky’s head popped up next to me and any feeling I had about shouting at the person interrupting my peaceful afternoon vanished. A wild giggle flowed out of my mouth before I threw my arms around his neck. His thick arms wrapped around my middle and suddenly my world was whole again. 

I released him when we started to sink under the water. Finally, I got a good look at his face. There was a cut over his bottom lip that was still a bit swollen and a huge bruise marred half his face. The water was just clear enough for me to notice the bruising around his stomach as well. 

“You shoulda seen the other guy,” Bucky smirked when I frowned at him.

“I’m just glad you’re home, Buck,” I placed my hand on the unbruised side of his face. 

“C’ mere baby girl,” he smiled that marshmallow grin at me, but there was a hint of sadness behind his eyes. 

Our lips pressed together, gentle and soft like we were both so fragile that any amount of pressure would cause us to shatter. The passion between us was just there under the surface of the kiss. It radiated out of our feather-light touches and slow movements. There was no rush into something more, nothing but the two of us in this moment. I rested my forehead against Bucky’s and just let the smell of sweat and lake water wash over me. He was back and mostly whole. We could work on putting those final pieces back together later. Right now it was just about us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Romance novel quoted is Ransom by Julie Garwood - Chapter 24 pg 397 - 403 (kindle edition)  
> I do not own any part of that book, but I would recommend her work if you like cheesy 90s romance


	18. Homecoming

Darcy didn’t end up staying for Taco Tuesday. Loki drove her home when the rest of the gang arrived back at the ranch after one firm glare from Steve. He was definitely in trouble, but that seemed to be how he spent most of his time - either causing trouble or being in trouble. Bucky chose to shower while I finished chores for the night. I brushed down Margarita quickly before I headed back to the house. The sight of heavy-soled boots neatly lined up on the porch made my heart soar. Things were back to the way they should be. My soaking wet clothes and towel were flung out over the railing. 

“We leave for two weeks and you become a nudist,” Sam shook his head at me. “This is fucking typical.”

“I am wearing a bathing suit,” I stated, standing at the base of the stairs and looking at my old two-piece.

“I can’t believe you went swimming without us,” Tony pouted.

“We can drive the BBQ out to the lake and make a day of it this weekend if you want?” I offered, trying to understand the abruptness of their response to me.  _ Why did they need me to enjoy the lake? _

“Do any of you sluts even own suits?” Natasha came into the living room with her house clothes on, hair tied up and clay mask spread evenly across her face. This was her ritual after any long trip off the ranch. I had watched her on multiple occasions now come back from a job, and peel back that layer of hard-ass biker to reveal this woman in need of comfort. Loose, soft sweatpants and shirts that must belong to Bruce and self-care were all that mattered.  _ Maybe I should get into that? _

“Well Princess Fiona, I’m sure we could always make a trip to Walmart to buy some,” Clint giggled. 

Natasha raised her middle finger at him and walked to the kitchen to sit next to Bruce. Everyone looked exhausted and beaten. Wherever they had gone, whatever they had done, had taken a lot out of them. I announced that I was making tacos for dinner and that they should relax until it was time to eat. No one argued and I ran upstairs for a quick rinse off in the shower and to change into some cooking appropriate shorts and t-shirt. Bucky was passed out on the bed with Alpine curled up next to him, so I did my best to be quiet, but that didn’t stop me from picking up my phone from the nightstand and taking a picture of their adorableness.

Dinner came together in no time. The smell of spicy frying beef permeated the house, causing the Avengers to vacate their stations in front of the TV and join me in the kitchen or at the supper table. Clint was languidly slicing lettuce into ribbons while Thor and Dallas shuffled around setting up stations to build our tacos. I pushed the gang to start building their plates while I went to wake up Bucky. 

I crept into the room so I could ease him awake rather than scare him. He laid stiffly on his front, both hands shoved under the pillows. His hair was still damp and plastered to the side of his face. Bucky’s clenched jaw was the only indicator that his little nap wasn’t at all restful. I crouched next to his face and watched him for a moment longer, trying to decide the best course of action. My fingers reached to push his hair off his face without me really thinking about it. 

Hands were around my neck and Bucky was straddling my stomach on the floor in a heartbeat. One second my hand was ghosting across his cheek in a touch that I thought would be comforting, the next I stared into clouded, unseeing blue eyes. My short nails dug into his arms, scratching away enough skin to see little drops of blood start to form. 

“Bucky,” I gasped. “Buck, it’s just me. Wake up.”

In another heartbeat, his eyes fluttered, his long lashes beating away the cloudiness that plagued his vision. Bucky was off me and shoving himself into a far wall in the next beat. I took a full breath, only to cough at the soreness in my throat. Time slowed as I watched his face crumble. Tears slipped down his soft, sheet imprinted cheeks. His chest rose in sharp, hard bursts but there were no signals that he was actually inhaling air. 

Carefully, slowly, I crawled over to where he was hunched. I showed him my hands before I moved to pull his legs out from his chest and allowed myself to sit between them. 

“C'mon, breath with me, Bucky,” I instructed. “Inhale, 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4.”

We sat like that until the attack subsided and Bucky had stopped crying. I continued to sit in front of him, providing a physical closeness and constant fixture while not touching. I wasn’t going to push him until he was ready. This was the first time I’d ever known him to have a panic attack, or maybe it was anxiety, but it didn’t matter. Whatever had happened on this job had brought something out of him or hitched a ride with him home. 

“You doin’ okay, oh great one?” I half smiled at him, trying to convey a sense of concern without fear.

“Fuck,” Bucky whispered. “Shit, fuck. I’m sorry,” he covered his face with his hands. 

“Hey,” I murmured, taking one hand away from his face and resting it on my own. “Hey, I’m really okay.”

“Jesus Christ, doll,” more tears slipped down his red cheeks.

“Can I do anything for you right now? What can I do to help?” I rubbed small circles with my thumb across his wrist.

He pulled me fully onto his lap. Strong muscular arms that I scratched to the point of bleeding wrapped around my back and pressed me into Bucky’s embrace. I straddled his hips and wrapped my own arms around his shoulders. My hands smoothed over the expanse of his back while he buried his face into my neck. I whispered into his hair, promising that everything was okay, that he was safe here. 

Nothing Bucky could ever do would scare me. In that single vulnerable moment we shared, I felt nothing but concern for him. My own safety be damned, I would do anything to comfort him when he needed me. That was how relationships worked, right?. They weren’t always 50/50, sometimes they were 30/70 and other times 85/15. Right now, I finally felt like I could give back all the support he had given me. Prove to him that everything he’d given to I could return. He didn’t have to always be strong for me. I could be strong for us too. 

I gently nudged his face from my shoulder and kissed his forehead. He pressed our foreheads together and let out a shaky breath. 

“Thank you, baby girl, I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“There’s nothing to say sorry for. It was just a nightmare,” I whispered. 

“You shouldn’t have to put up with my old bullshit,” Bucky huffed. 

_ Well, I ain’t lettin’ that kinda crap go. _

“I ain’t puttin’ up with anything Bucky. This is a part of you, and a part of us. You act like I didn’t bring a whole boatload of shit with me to this. We are in this together,” I grabbed his hand and placed it over my heart before I pressed mine to his. I closed my eyes and just felt him.

“Christ you’re too good for me,” I could hear the slight smile in his voice.

“No, I am yours and you are mine.”

===============================

Supper was practically over when we emerged from upstairs. I had forced Bucky into a pair of old sweatpants and a clean shirt, explaining to him that comfy, soft clothes were exactly what he needed right now. Everyone was still sitting around the table, updating Loki about how the job went and chatting about antics on the road. I pushed Bucky into his seat and put together a plate of tacos for him and myself. No one asked about what took us so long, or why my voice sounded a bit strained, or why Bucky looked like he’d been crying. The guilty, almost distant, look on his face hadn’t shifted since we broke apart and it said all that needed to be said. Steve gave me one glance that I shook my head at. Bucky stared over at Alpine’s new scratch post. When I set his plate down and took my own seat, entangling out bare feet together, he turned to give me a strange look. 

“When did you buy that?”

“I built that after I told you I was replacing you.” I smiled as bright as possible before taking a bite of my taco. 

“If I leave for an extended period of time will you let Prince Lauferson move into the house?” Loki cocked his head at me. 

“No, he’s an adult and needs the exercise he gets from living in the barn.” 

“Also Alpine is obviously best suited for indoor livin’,” Bucky grinned a little, my rule about the kitten being allowed in the house was broken.

“Eat your supper,” I nudged him with my knee. 

“Changing the subject wildly, how was perv watch?” Tony asked. 

“Oh,” I mumbled around a mouthful of spicy cheesy beef. “Let me get the binder.”

“The… what?” He looked at me.

I jumped up for the table and grabbed all the notes and observations I had categorized while doing surveillance with Loki and Darcy. The job made my stomach turn, but at the same time, it meant I wasn’t alone. In a sick way, watching him and knowing where he was, what he was doing, made me feel more at ease. Knowing, full stop, that Stewart was a disgusting pervert made this whole thing a lot easier. The binder thunked down onto the table with enough force to shake the stack of the plates at the corner by Dallas. 

“What the fuck am I lookin’ at?” Clint eyed the royal blue binder with Operation Eclipse neatly written in rainbow marker on the top.

“I had a lot of free time and note takin’ helped keep me busy,” I shrugged and started eating again. 

Tony picked up my masterpiece and started thumbing through the tabs and sheet protectors. Steve and Natasha leaned over to look at the work as well. 

“Boo, my precious  _ innocent _ child, did you color code his porn preferences?” Tony held open the table of contents for that section of the binder, an equally amused and concerned look on his face. 

“Yeah, red is farm/barnyard, blue is women who look like me, yellow is school girl, and green is hentai.” I took another bite of my taco. “Each section then has detailed notes about similarities or things that stuck out. Like he never looked up BDSM specifically, but he’s got a real thing tying women up and name callin’.”

“Okay, then what is this tally with D and L at the top?” Steve asked.

“Side note in the margins of who would gag first, Darcy or Loki,” I explained.

“In my defense, Darcy is a monster,” Loki crossed his arms, recalling that game he regularly lost. Steve frowned at him, probably annoyed that Darcy saw any of what they were doing.

“It’s true, she threw popcorn at the screen when he came too early and stopped the porn before they’d even gotten past suckin’ dick,” I laughed a little. “She was really helpful though, she knows what too much about sex.”

“Wrong,” Loki gave me a wicked grin. 

“Can we change the subject, please? If she keeps talkin’ about porn I’ll off myself,” Dallas gagged and shuddered at the same time. 

“You wanna talk about the fact he ain't looked up anything to do with New Orleans or church camps? He hasn’t booked flights or hotels or nothin’. I don’t think he is actually goin’ and-”

“He did look up one motel,” Loki cut in. “It’s next to some kinda pancake shack or something.”

“An IHOP?” Bucky suggested, his plate now empty and pushed towards the stack. 

“Do you think it’s the pig sty next to the Waffle House and gas station outside town? You know the one on the north end?” I mused. 

“Doll, how could I forget? Two Hydra fuck wads show up, and rather than listen to me you try an’ kiss the life outta me,” Bucky smirked. 

“We haven’t really seen any of those shit bags around in a while, do you think they moved on?” Clint asked. 

“Preacher seems to think they are still around,” Bucky tucked his hands behind his head and leaned back in the chair. His foot slid up my bare calf and I felt a light blush spread across my face. 

“Do they deal drugs?” I voiced my non-Bucky related thoughts, “Like is that one of their things? Stewart’s spent a good amount of time lookin’ up Benzodiazepines. Purple section in the binder,” I flicked my wrist absentmindedly at Tony. “He could be looking for something to take the edge off if your texts are stressin’ him out and he doesn’t feel comfortable going to the sheriff.”

“Mmm,” Tony grumbled and pulled out his phone. “So far J.A.R.V.I.S has sent him 35 messages ranging from ‘you should shave more’ to ‘do you think that sock could handle a fourth load’ to ‘you’ve spent more on tobacco than you have on deodorant’.” 

“You know what benzo is really popular, Luna?” Natasha asked.

“According to the binder, which lists the most common forms of the drug, it is Xanax. However, I’m sure you are referring to Rohypnol aka Roofies aka the most cliche date rape drug in every crime show ever.” Tony flipped the binder around again for everyone to see. 

“Did you fuckin’ draw visuals on dosage, duration, and strength for all of those?” Sam stared at the binder. 

“Fuckin’ overachiever,” Dallas muttered under his breath. 

“She also gave penis length estimation in each porn section,” Tony hummed, flicking through his phone now. 

“I’d also like to say the pink section has his Amazon searches listed by department.” I grinned, proud of myself for being of some use. 

“Did he go anywhere exciting?” Loki asked, shifting the subject off my hard work. 

“He stayed in his shit hole for the most part. He went to the hardware store twice, and then once to Walmart,” Tony mumbled tapping on his phone screen. “He made a pit stop at the gas station next to that motel based on the amount of time spent at zero m/ph.”

“I think we know what step two has to be then,” I sighed heavily, leaning back in my chair. 

“Nope, it ain’t happenin’,” Bucky flippantly waved a hand at me and dismissed the idea.

“I agree with Buck, we still have time to gather more information before we take that course of action,” Steve spoke with finality. There would be no more discussion on the second phase of my contract until he’d looked over the binder with Tony and Bucky in detail. 

===============================

Water splashed over the edge of the tub when Bucky slipped in behind me. His large, muscular arms wrapped around my waist and pulled my back to his chest. I was enveloped in a perfect kind of warmth. I hummed contentedly, stroking the lines of his tattoo. Finally, we were getting the private intimate time I wanted. The world around us could be ending, but all that mattered was the relaxed frame of my Bucky lounging with me in that small bathtub. I let my head fall back against his shoulder so I could kiss his neck. 

It took zero convincing at all to get him here. I mentioned possibly bathing together if he was feeling up to a bit of R&R and he practically tripped over himself to get up the stairs quick enough. Well, the tripping was mostly due to the fact that he was trying to strip out of his sweatpants while walking.  _ Eager beaver _ , I smiled to myself and wished those still in the house goodnight before following at a safe pace. 

“I’m happy you’re home,” I murmured into his neck. 

“You have made me soft, doll,” he huffed. “We stayed at this sleazy ass motel and all I did was crave you and a home-cooked meal.”

“Does that upset you?” I asked, worry slipping into my voice.

“Nah,” he shifted and kissed the top of my head. 

“I had to make plum jam. I couldn’t stand eating all those damn things,” I smiled. 

“Ugh, you spoil me,” Bucky laughed. 

“You deserve it.” I reached up and rubbed my hand against his long scruffy beard. He hadn’t shaved during the entire time he was gone. I could certainly get behind this style. The soft, scratchy hairs tickled the palm of my hand. 

“Nah, baby girl, it’s you who deserves to be spoiled,” he hummed, a vibration deep in his chest that caused goosebumps to erupt over me despite the warm water. 

Bucky placed gentle kisses across my forehead and cheeks before his lips settled against mine. Our kiss started out slow and full of lusty intent that sent a shiver down my spine. My hand crept into his hair, deepening our embrace. The waves of heat began to roll through my belly and lap at my desire. As I shifted and squirmed, trying to get even closer to Bucky, his hands began to drift across my body. One hand massaged at my breast, while the other stilled my hips. I could feel his hardness pressed up against my low back. I wanted him. I needed him. 

His lips separated from mine. Our heavy breathing mingled for a moment before a whimper escaped my lips. Bucky continued his gentle assault on my breasts while the hand on my hip wandered lower. He lifted my thigh up and out of the water, draping it over the edge. I watched his hand dance across the skin of my inner thigh. The anticipation of all caused my breath to hitch. That hand ghosted over my pulsing core, before stopping.

“Bucky, please,” I whimpered, my hand in his hair and my hand on his knee clenched. 

“Did you touch yourself while I was gone?” His lips tickled my neck when he spoke. 

I felt heat rush to my cheeks. “Yeah,” I mumbled. 

A weak groan passed through his lips before Bucky nipped at my shoulder. I felt his cock twitch in its position trapped between us. His voice was lower, huskier, and full of unsaid dark promises when he spoke again.

“Tell me what you did baby girl.” 

“I-well-I read a few articles a while back about how it was good to explore your body and that it can relieve stress,” I stammered out, embarrassed to be admitting such things for no clear reason when we’ve explored each other’s bodies quite a bit already. “And ‘cause you were away, I decided to read one of my romance novels to keep me busy. Well, any time it got to a steamy part, I’d just think about you doing that kinda stuff to me.”

“Mhmm,” Bucky kissed my shoulder, encouraging me. “What kinda stuff, doll?”

“Um, ya know, kissin’ and touchin’,” I blushed. 

“So just this?” He kissed my cheek and tickled my stomach until my muscles hurt from laughing so much. 

_ Oh! So that’s the game. Christ, it took me long enough to catch on _ . I groaned, now embarrassed with my own stupidity. 

“There was no ticklin’ in my book,” I huffed.

“D'ya wanna know what I thought about?” He whispered in my ear, the hair on his upper lip and chin scratched against my skin.

“Yes,” I was suddenly breathless. 

“I thought about that first night we danced together. Even hearing that song now gets me hard,” he grunted. “The way you pumped and grinded against me, God baby girl I was really sure I was gonna cum right there on the dance floor. And then you dragged me out back and I thought I was the luckiest man alive. You tasted like tequila and lime. Those panties you wore were so fuckin’ soft,” Bucky moved his hands against me then. His fingers brushed over my folds. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful doll, but damn do you look pretty on your knees with my cock in your mouth.”

“I thought about that,” I whispered before he could continue. “About how you taste, finishin’ in-in my mouth, and I imagined it was your hands on me, not mine. You’d tease me,” he brushed his fingers over my clit. “And you stretch me open, real slow, makin’ me beg for it. Jesus even when it was just me, your name was on my lip, like I was beggin’ for your permission.”

Bucky hummed, alternating between lazily thrusting a finger inside me and rubbing his thumb over my clit. His lips latched onto my shoulder and my heavy breathing became breathy moans. 

“Fuck, you feel so much better,” I bucked my hips into his hand. “Please, I need more.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, doll,” he smirked against my skin but added a second finger. 

A low whine escaped my lips and his cock twitched against my back. He continued his slow stretching, opening me up and marking my shoulder with his love bites. 

“Bucky,” I whimpered. “I need your mouth on me, please. Fuck, I missed you so much.”

The next thing I knew I was dripping wet and being carried to the bed. At least he had the sense to grab a towel because I sure as hell didn’t. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he had lifted me out of the tub even as he placed me on my feet to rip the covers off the bed and haphazardly throw the towel down. 

But his lips were on mine again, hungry and hot now. He nipped at my bottom lip until I opened my mouth for him. Again, I was lifted up, my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as we tumbled on to the towel. When our fervent kissing broke, Bucky began to lick the small droplets of water from the base of my neck all the way down between the valley of my breasts. My nipples were stiff peaks in the cold air in our room, but I felt them harden further and tingle when his warm mouth bit and sucked at one then and then another. He released them with a lewd pop only after I was reduced to a whimpering puddle of a woman. 

I ground my hips up against his erection, relishing in his soft moans against my skin as he traversed further south, still drinking in the droplets of water on my skin. He kissed both sides of my hips before he tossed my legs over his shoulder. The feeling of his beard against my thighs was almost enough to make me come undone right then. I gasped at the sensation, Bucky’s soft chuckle only made the heat pooling my low belly start to boil. 

_ Fuck. _

_ Oh, God. _

_ Yes. _

_ Bucky. _

_ Please. _

Words rattled around my brain when all that could pass my lips were desperate moans of pleasure. His mouth on me was intense, his tongue and his fingers working in tandem was heaven. I felt like my skin was on fire. I shoved one of my hands into Bucky’s hair, pulling him closer to me as I chased my orgasm. The other hand was firmly clamped over my mouth to keep myself from shouting in ecstasy. Not everyone and their mother needed to hear me and Bucky. He moaned against me when I pulled his hair. The vibration and subtle nudge of his teeth against my clit sent me spiraling. My leg clamped around his head and I bit my hand harder as I came all over his face. 

Bucky pulled away from me slowly, the hairs on his chin glistened in low yellow light from the bedside lamp. A smug, self-satisfied grin settled on his face. He kissed the inside of my thigh which only caused me to shiver more. I pulled my hand out of my mouth, jaw aching from the force clamping it down.

“Fuck,” I murmured, feeling Bucky shift up on the bed so his face was hovering over mine. 

I grabbed his face and pulled him down into a needy kiss. The taste of me on his lips only encouraged me to deepen the kiss, chasing myself on his tongue. Bucky’s hands slid up and down my sides, grinding his cock between my slick folds. Blindly, I threw my hand out to the nightstand, fumbling to open the drawer and pull out one of the condoms I’d stashed there.

“Ya that eager, baby girl?” Bucky teased, swatting my hand away and pulling out the new box. “When did you get these?”

“Darcy gave them to me as a late birthday present. What I think really happened is that Loki kicked up a fuss about the flavor,” my laugh was breathy. I was slowly relaxing from my post-orgasm high. 

“Well thank you, Darcy,” he laughed and ripped one of the tropical fruit flavored squares from the long ribbon. 

I took the foil from his hand and ripped it open. The scent of pineapple and mango hit my nose and I rolled the pink latex down his cock, stroking him to remove any possible air bubbles. Bucky groaned, hunched over me, finally getting sort of relief after spoiling me. I released him and popped a finger in my mouth.

“Not bad,” I hummed and sucked at my finger.

“You’re a fuckin’ tease sometimes ya know that?” 

I released my finger with a loud smack, trying to mimic the sound he made early against my nipples. Bucky crashed his mouth against me at the same time as he thrust into me. Any sassy comment I had about him being the biggest tease on the planet was thrown out the window. His tongue and cock moving in a perfect rhythm, hitting every spot inside me. I broke the kiss off to grab onto his shoulders. I needed an anchor to hold onto before I drifted away. 

My second orgasm of the night snuck up on me. One second I was getting lost in Bucky’s beautiful, lust glazed eye, and the next I felt my whole body tense up. A strangled moan escaped my lips. 

“Bucky, please,” I pleaded. “Can I cum? Please, please, please.”

“Fuck, you beg so nice for me baby girl,” he groaned. “Look at me, baby, I wanna see you come apart.”

When had I closed my eyes?

“Fuck,” he grunted, picking up his pace, slamming into me hard enough to make the bed frame crash against the wall. 

“Please, Bucky,” I begged, feeling like I was about to lose my sanity. 

“Cum for me baby girl,” Bucky placed his hand on my face, smoothing his thumb against my cheek. 

Every part of me was fluttering and floating. I vaguely heard Bucky say my name, but I was so far gone. The heat of his body on top of mine provided the perfect blanket of warmth. I remembered the briefest kiss of the cold air against my skin when he moved to throw the condom away, but soon enough I was wrapped up in the comforter and Bucky’s arms. 

“Welcome home,” I slurred against his chest, falling asleep with ease for the first time in weeks. 


	19. I Didn't Say Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long ass delay.   
> Mental health is weird (I wrote like almost 60k words in different fics rather than this over two weeks because ~*DEPRESSION*~).  
> Being an adult is hard (Returning to the office, trying to sort out a new living situation, and spending time with peeps in my life)  
> I'm pretty sure this trash.

After chores on Friday morning, Natasha walked into the kitchen dressed in a faded pink sundress that I was certain had been in my laundry basket two days ago. Her full, curvy figure filled out the dress in a way I never had. I noticed the way Bruce’s jaw practically dropped to the floor as well. His cheeks flushed and her lips turned up in a wicked smirk. They were, or at least she was, up to something. I made the decision to ask her about it later since it looked like one of my dresses was at risk. 

Today was the first day since the Avengers had been back that I had asked them to help with chores. I had been managing just fine, with the occasional assist from Loki, but things in the garden needed picking, and Natasha and I had already decided we’d be the ones to go to Wally World to get swimsuits for everyone. Though Steve, Rhodey, and Bruce could be trusted to do the shopping, that trust was also why I wanted them around to help in the garden. I knew they wouldn't just let Clint or Thor rip out a whole plant rather than just plucking the ripe fruits or vegetables off the stems. The nagging feeling that all the others would just end up buying gag suits or speedos for the gang was never far from my thoughts when I was planning the list of things we needed to pick up. 

Bucky shuffled into the kitchen where the group of us here gathered doing our regular morning routine. He pressed a gentle kiss to my temple before grabbing a mug for his coffee. Even all stumbly and smelling of morning breath, I wanted nothing more than for him to fuck me right here in the kitchen. For the two days now, he’d been treating me like some kind of china doll. I knew it was because of his panic attack, but I was so used to the firmness, to the easy way he threw his weight onto me to hug or snuggle, that now I felt almost neglected. Which was stupid, because I hadn’t had so many orgasms in a 48 hour period in my life. I was pretty sure we had broken some kind of record. He was coaxing them out of me any chance we were alone, one after the other before I was begging him tears in my eyes to be inside me. Then it was all slow and gentle and restrained. 

"Are you sure I can't come with you?"

"Shove it, Sarg. This is a girls' day," Natasha's subtle grin told me everything I needed to know. It may be a girls' day, but she was going to interrogate me the whole time. 

The deep purple bruises had found a home firmly around the space between my neck and shoulder. If it hadn't been sweltering every day, I may have dug out one of Memaw's old turtle necks, but instead, they were on full display. Nobody missed the sad eyes Bucky had been toting around or my mixed-up emotions. Dallas had to be the first one to corner me about the whole situation and he had decided chores the morning after was the perfect time. 

"Ya gonna tell me what happened ta ya?"

I hadn't noticed it, but Dallas had lost his city slicker accent he'd adopted when he'd join the gang. He sounded just like he used to, talking slow and running his words together just like he used to. He sounded more like the brother I had before he'd gone to basic. 

"Buck, had an… episode I guess? Some kinda PTSD thing or panic attack. He woke up in some kinda state and jumped me." I shoveled shit into a wheelbarrow. 

"Gimme that," he ripped the shovel from my hands. "And you’re okay?" 

"I mean, I certainly know I don't have a thing being choked now," I taunted my brother, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm tryna be serious here," he scowled at me, but his eyes told a different story. Dallas was scared for me. After all the crazy going on in my life, the last thing he wanted was for me trapped in some kind vicious cycle of abuse. 

"You remember when you came home? How you used to go to bed in your room, then wake up with the farmhands' house?" I asked. "Well, that's because Papaw used to drag your sorry butt there after finding you when he'd start morning chores. You'd be shivering, mumbling, and only able to rest when the rest of your 'barracks' was with you."

"I just thought I'd sleepwalk there. Y'all never said anything about wanderin'."

"Memaw didn't want to worry you. You insisted you wanted to sleep in your own bed in your own space and privacy. I noticed you haven't had any issues," we moved further into the stable. “We all got problems Dal, and that’s okay.”

"Still, are you sure you're okay?" Dallas stopped shoveling and looked me in the eye.

"I can't remember the last time I was happier."

===============================

We didn't even make it past the gate before Natasha started in on me. She demanded a play by play of the whole incident. And I gave it to her because apparently I needed that female companionship more than I thought I needed privacy. She was too good at listening. She'd pick out the way I said something, make me explain what I'd meant until I was questioning why I'd said it. I pulled at the bandana I tied around my neck before we left. It was already starting to soak up my nervous sweats.

"He really loves you," she said when we're about halfway there. 

I don't know why I laughed at that, but I did. Even with my own burgeoning feelings towards the second in command of a biker gang, there was no way I thought they'd be returned. He was probably just as capable of love as I was, but I wasn't expecting anything. I knew he at least liked me and seemed to find me sexually appealing for God knows why, but love me? That seemed out of this world crazy. The relationship still felt so fragile. Hell, I still got knots in my stomach about all of them just up and leaving me. 

We didn't talk about it again, instead, I took my turn to interrogate Natasha once we got to our destination. 

"So," I started, pulling a cart from the row. "Why are you stealing my clothes?"

"I have a bet with Clint," she guided us into the men's clothing section. 

"Uh-huh?"

"He thinks Bruce is too cautious in our relationship, that he's real vanilla." She picked up a pair of black and green striped shorts, "for Loki?"

I nodded and picked up a pair with the American flag on them, "Steve?"

"Oh yeah," she laughed. "But yeah so I bet him I could drive Brucie into doing something crazy before the end of the weekend by just dressing a bit more girly."

"How crazy are we talkin'?" A pair of plain navy trunks were tossed into the cart for Rhodey and a pair of orange Hawaiin print ones for Dallas.

"I'm thinking I'll either get him to fuck during the BBQ or we're gonna do it on Clint’s bed when I know he's bound to come in."

“Are you gonna tell Bruce about it?” I pulled out a pair of short red trunks with a gold tie, “Tony?”

Natasha nodded, “Nah, I’m not gonna tell him. Bruce doesn’t like it when I make bets with Clint despite my excellent track record.”

We continued to pull out trunks for the guys; a long red pair for Thor, a sensible black pair for Bruce, a short flamingo print pair for Clint because Natasha ‘wanted to fuck with him’, another tropical print, this time in blue, for Sam, and black pair with stars for Bucky. All those suits tossed into the cart, we wandered over the women’s wear section to look for a suit for Nat. Immediately she picked up a color block black and white one piece that had a zipper down the front. 

“For when the bet’s over and we still wanna swim,” she explained. “Okay, now, you need to pick out two new suits. One I’m gonna wear tomorrow, and the other for you to wear tomorrow.”

“What’s wrong with my suit?”

“I can’t even tell what color it’s supposed to be. You need a new one,” she crossed her arms. 

“Fine,” I grumbled.

My fingers flicked through the rack, pausing as a white bikini set with green trim and peach pattern caught my eye. The top was conservative for the style, more like a sports bra cut, but the tie bottoms had a lacy frill fake skirt around them that connected to the straps. If you could even call it a skirt, just a strange detail to draw attention to your crotch really. I held it up to Natasha, who blinked for a second, then devilishly smirked. 

“You’re going to try this one on.”

A black two piece was shoved into my arms and I was turned around to the dressing rooms before I could even protest. Making sure to grumble loud enough for her to hear, I pulled on the bottoms over my underwear first. They were high waisted and didn’t have strings. The sun, moon, and star pattern on them wasn’t really my style but I wasn’t about to argue with Natasha. I slipped my bra off and pulled the top on. It’s corseted front was mostly black, with cups having the same pattern as the bottoms. I tied up the strings in a bow, which pulled my breasts a bit closer together, the weird accent straps that connected the corset and the shoulder straps together pulled taut against me, showing off the valley between my chest. I untied the bandana I had wrapped around my neck to hide the bruises. 

Lord knows what possessed me to do so, but I took a picture of myself in the mirror. The lighting was horrible and didn’t really show off the pattern on the suit, but the cut of the top was still obvious. I jokingly sent the image to Bucky with the comment ‘when Nat takes you shopping’ and changed back into my regular shorts and t-shirt. 

I threw the bikini on to the pile of swimwear in our cart. We wandered over to the pool aisle set up by the toys. Natasha grabbed an inflatable Flamingo, some kind of flag/bald eagle combo float, and a floating beer pong set. A few extra bottles of sunblock were tossed into the cart along with a few more towels. I was trying to not cringe at the number of things we were buying, reasoning to myself that we’d at least use them all summer. 

Satisfied with our selection, Natasha pushed our cart to the produce aisles. A distinct buzzing sound rattled around in my pocket and the picture of Bucky I took holding Alpine up in the barn appeared on my screen. 

“Hey Buck-o, are you psychic or something? We just got the meat section,” I laughed as Natasha smirked and examined the selection of pre-prepared hot dog and burger packs. 

“Make sure you get all-beef hot dogs that are bun sized. Those are the best,” I pointed to the ones he wanted and she picked them up. “That’s not why I called Doll.”

“Then why did you call if not to make sure we knew how to shop?” I smirked at the phone and picked up a three pound roll of ground beef to make burgers. 

“OH, I don’t know. I was just crossing off ‘wash the dogs’ from your insane honey-do list when I get sent a provocative photo from a strange woman I don’t know.” He huffed into the phone with a put on voice that made me giggle. 

Natasha raised an eyebrow at me, then moved us to pick up buns. 

“If strangers are textin’ ya, you shouldn't open the message,” I plucked Bucky’s preferred brand off the shelf and placed them in the child's seat of the cart so they did n’t get squashed.

“Oh yeah, I’m probably on some kind of list now, some kind of list for the world's fastest boner in front of a group of shit covered dudes.” There was a loud slam of the doors and a mumbled conversation going on between Bucky and someone else. 

I picked up a party mix of chips, making sure it had flamin’ hot Cheetos and cool ranch Doritos.

“Hey, how did the corn look?”

“I’m having a serious dilemma here and you wanna talk about long hard objects that aren’t attached to me?”

“What did the harvest from the garden look like? I need to know what we need to pick up,” I laughed. “Also, I’m buying the suit.”

There was a loud, but distant groaned yes from his side of the line like he’d pulled his phone away from his face to react. We picked up some lettuce and some premade coleslaw. 

“They got a bucket full of strawberries and a load of tomatoes. Steve and Bruce said everything else was comin’ along fine, but they don’t know what peanut plants look like when they are ready.”

“You don’t harvest peanuts until like August or September, so it’s fine.” I tossed a punnet of plums into the cart because Bucky couldn’t live off the jam I made no matter how much he said he could. Shaking a tub of cool whip in front of Natasha, her eyes light up with mischief.

“Are Darcy and Jane comin’ round for tomorrow?”

“One second, I will find out for you, baby,” There was a shriek of Loki’s name followed by my question. “Darcy is for sure comin’ around, but apparently Jane is still iffy.”

“Spill the tea, Barnes,” Natasha leaned into my face to make her demand. 

“Apparently Jane told Darcy, who obviously told Loki, who told me, that Thor has been acting ‘sketchy af’ and Jane doesn’t like how he is never around for long and he’s horrible at communication and a whole load of things that I feel like, personally, is a them problem that needs to be discussed if they wanna stay together. But according to Darcy, anytime they are together any brain cells that Jane may have possessed get thrown out the window and they just fuck like bunnies.”

“I’ve never gotten that vibe from Thor,” I commented. 

“And you never will,” I could hear the determined frown in his voice.

“I have definitely gotten that vibe from Sam though,” I teased, knowing I definitely haven’t gotten any vibes from anyone except Bucky since our first time meeting. 

There was a pause on the line, a faint ‘What do you want goth Jesus’ followed by ‘what are you doing’ and ‘STEVE GET YOUR FUCKING-’. My phone was at arm's length from my face by the end of the exchange. 

Sam made a comment during a rerun of Parks and Rec last night that Sebastian was the best horse ever. He honestly had it coming, they all knew how I felt about ponies. I was just gonna put sugar in his dinner tonight, but Bucky so kindly gave me an in that I couldn’t miss. Natasha didn’t hide the pride on her face when we continued shopping. 

“Thanks for teaching that pony-lovin’ idiot a lesson for me,” I smiled into the phone. 

“Wow, Doll, just wow. I can’t believe you used me for your personal vendetta,” Bucky didn’t sound at all upset. “And you let me hit Sam, you’re the best.”

Natasha and I wandered into the beer aisle. We stopped in front of the industrial-sized cases. 

“Does Steve want any of that fancy craft beer?”

“Probably, make sure it’s domestic though. He’s on another ‘made in America’ binge.” Bucky sounded bored talking about beer choices that were directly going to affect him.

“Okay, we are almost done then. Just need to get the beer then head home,” I smiled, grabbing a 12 back of some kind of craft beer mix. I scanned the small yellow price tags on the shelves, trying to find the best deal on the regular stuff for the rest of us. 

“Sounds good, babygirl, drive safe.”

“Yep, will do, love you, bye.”

There was a light gasp when I hung up the phone. I turned to look at my redheaded friend, clutching a 24 pack of Pacifico to her chest. 

“What?” I asked, grabbing a 30 pack of Budweiser cans from the shelf.

“Oh my god,” she mumbled. 

“What? This is what Bucky said Steve would want,” I gave her a look.

The packs were stowed away under the cart. As we bent over to throw the last case of beer under, a wolf whistle echoed around the near empty booze section. I made eye contact with Natasha before slowly rising up. My eyes fell to the borrowed wedges on her feet, then down to my old boots. Kicking would be an option if the whistlers tried anything more.  _ God, why is that where my brain has to go nowadays? _

“Fuck,” Natasha mumbled and I looked over my shoulder to see two skinheads in leather vests walking down the aisle. 

“Black Widow,” the one with a neck tattoo of some kind of skull tentacle thing cooed.

“Nazis,” Natasha crossed her arms, her whole body language sounded unamused. 

“And,” the taller one smirked down at me, “who are you?”

“Nobody,” I frowned. “Now please move.”

“I don’t think so, anyone hanging out with Romanoff is worth knowing. What happened to your neck, darlin’?”

I shoved my hands into my pocket, fingers clutching the pocket knife there. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” I smirked and tilted my head at the biker in front of me. His features darkened for a moment, his pale eyes darted from my neck to my eyes to my lips and then back to my neck. 

“You look familiar,” Neck Tattoo narrowed his eyes at me. 

“I’ve got a pretty average face, what I can say,” I tried to affect the same unamused body language as Natasha. 

“Why don’t you two shit stains fuck off?” Natasha insisted, “Wouldn’t want to get banned from Walmart now would you?” 

She led their lecherous gazes off of us and towards the very obviously placed cameras around the alcohol section of the store. I’d never even thought about those. My grip tightened around my small weapon. Both men narrowed their eyes at us again, clearly debating something in their minds, before grabbing a pack of bottles from the shelf each and dropping them on the ground. 

“Oops,” Taller One snickered and walked off, followed closely by his tattooed friend. 

We stood in the aisle for a while longer. I picked up the leaking cases of beer, knowing I would have to spend the limited amount of money I already had on useless things. It wasn’t even the good stuff. Natasha prowled around the few aisles surrounding us, casually picking things up and pretending to read labels before putting them back. 

At the cash register, I told a manager about my friend and me being harassed by two strangers and that it should be on video. It would also show them breaking these bottles. We had to pay for them regardless, but at least they offered to walk us out to the truck. A silent conversation passed between us before I graciously accepted. The largest kid on staff for a Friday in June came up to us. He was at least as tall as Steve, if not twice as wide, but dumber than a box of rocks. He chattered about football and being excited for summer, not picking up on the agitation rolling off Natasha. The sun beat down on us and when I climbed into the back of the truck to pull out the cooler, I thought I was roasting alive. As the kid handed me bags, I saw Natasha discreetly check the truck and vehicles around us. There wasn’t a motorcycle in sight, but that didn’t mean they weren’t lurking. 

“Thanks, ma’am, have a nice day,” The kid pocketed the five dollars I gave him and I climbed into the cab. 

“We aren’t telling them about this until it becomes necessary,” Natasha stated as we rolled out of the parking lot. 

“Oh thank god,” I sighed. “I can’t handle a more protective Bucky.”

“Or Brucie, or Steve, or Tony,” she counted out. 

“Aw geez, I can’t imagine how Tony would react to this,” I groaned and shifted us up a gear as we merged on the highway.

“Well, they’re never gonna know now,” Natasha leaned back and propped her feet on the dash. 

===============================

It was just after 4:30 by the time we made it back to the ranch. All the horses were lingering at the front of the pasture already. I tossed the keys to Natasha and jogged over to the stable. Stall doors were thrown open and I was a flurry of movement. I nearly lost my balance of the full wheelbarrow at one point. Each trough was filled and I made a mental note to give each of them a carrot with dinner tomorrow. The horses' aggressive snorting and stomping feet let me know just how they felt about being fed late. Margarita eve tried to bite my hand when I reached out to stroke her cheek.

The cats were fed next, all of them staring me down when I entered the barn. Especially Lauferson, headbutting the back of my legs to get on with it. No matter how much I apologized to them, it didn’t stop the aggressive meows. I scooped up a small handful of the treats I knew Loki had stashed behind some saddle oil in the empty stall and gave each cat one. The white mama cat smacked my hand away, claws out, when I tried to pet one of her children. 

Tequila and Whiskey dutifully sat inside the chicken’s fence. Of all the animals to not care about the time of day, it would be those dumb birds. I opened the coop door and let out a series of low whistles to get the dogs going. They worked in tandem, ushering the stubborn poultry into their home for the night. The ground was parched as I sat down, the hard packed soil cracked as the moisture evaporated from during the day. Each of my pups came up to me and licked my face. 

“Finally some of the lovin’ I deserve,” I giggled, rubbing each of their faces. “Now, what else do we gotta do before the end of the day?”

Two pairs of chocolate eyes looked at me, heads tilted together. 

“That's right, we gotta go check to make sure those boys didn’t ruin our garden,” I fluffed their faces again and walked around the house to the garden. 

The acre of land looked like a bit of a nightmare. There had definitely been a small army of men stomping through the carefully manicured ground. The silks on the stalks of corn were just coming out and were pure white. The flowers on the pepper plants were nicely forming into tiny little fruits. We wandered over to the few peach trees, grown pretty heavy with fruit. I picked up a fallen peach, looking at it. Not ripe enough yet, but nearly there. 

“Boo, Boo!”

My head swiveled around to see Tony standing at the backdoor. I waved my arm above my head and jogged towards the house. He stepped down onto the patio, leaning against the table as he waited for me. I took at his tanned skin, the light wash  his dark hair had taken on from being in the sun more, and the lack of bags under his eyes. If it weren’t for the concerned look in his eyes, I would have said he looked almost healthy and content. 

“What’s up Tony? I didn’t hear the supper bell,” I breathed heavily, a couple of steps away from him. 

“Nat mentioned you didn’t wanna go out tonight,” he crossed his arms, a peak of a farmer's tan being revealed. 

A deep blush settled on my cheeks. Before I could respond he was talking so fast I almost couldn’t keep up. 

“If it’s about the bruises, we can cover those up. I’m sure she’s got some kind of makeup that’s close to how tan you are right now. Or we could make you wanna those weird turtleneck tank top things-”

“Tony, it ain’t about the bruises,” I looked down at my feet. Why did it feel like I was revealing some big secret?

“Oh it’s because you admitted your love over the phone,” my head whipped up at his words to see him nodding sagely. 

“What?” I gave him a look. 

“Buckethead’s been going off all afternoon about it. He’s freakin’ out Boo,” when he saw the look of terror in my eyes he added, “in a good way though.”

“Yeah, I’d like to discuss that with him sooner rather than later and in privacy,” I weakly smiled. 

Definitely not why I wanted to stay home tonight. Tonight I was going to slip on that silly blue lingerie dress to try and seduce the pants off Bucky and into being a bit rougher with me. I also would have remembered admitting my love to him. It most certainly would not have been over the phone. 

“Now, go get washed up, supper is basically ready anyway,” Tony patted my shoulder and shooed me inside. He had a strange look in his eyes, a scheming look. 

_ I didn’t say anything... _


	20. The Only One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are set into action and they don't go as expected, but that probably for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter than previous posts, but I'm going to try and not be so stringent with the length of chapters. The original plan for this chapter was really going to be some hardcore smut, but I got all soft. Not sure when I will have the next update, but it will be a bit.

When you know something is up, you just know. Like when I walked into the house for dinner, boots in hand because Tony had shoved me through the back door rather than let me walk around to the front of the house. All eyes were on me, except Bucky’s. He wasn’t in the kitchen or at the supper table. Even as I walked over to the front door to drop my boots on the porch, I felt their eyes following me. The house smelled like garlic and frying tomatoes, wrapping me in a sense of security despite the slight tension growing in my shoulders from being watched. 

I walked upstairs slowly, leaning over, and finding them still watching me. My eyes narrowed at them, trying to figure out what their deal was. 

“Supper’ll be ready in 10 minutes,” Tony called out at the last minute before very loud rock music started blasting through the kitchen and living room. 

My fingers rested on the doorknob, cool metal under my sweaty palms, uncertainty settled in my gut. The bandana around my neck began to choke me, getting tighter and tighter around me the longer I stood outside the door.  _ You don’t got all day girl, get washed up for supper. _

The door squeaked, just slightly, like it always did. Floorboards creak under my weight, there was no sneaking around in this house. My eyes travelled over the space, nothing was really different. The bed was lazily made, Alpine curled up on top of Bucky’s pillow. The vanity was just like I left it this morning. The closet door and dressers were still there, looking just the same. The bathroom door was closed, but a light was peeking out from underneath the door frame.

Was it weird to knock on my own bathroom door? I couldn’t answer that, but that’s what I found myself doing. It was like I was in some twilight zone version of my house. The staring, the blaring music shaking the whole house. It felt like the right thing to do. When Bucky swung the door open, naked as the day he was born, except for the towel wrapped around his head, I let go of the breath I was holding in. 

“Dinner ready?” He smiled. 

I stared at his face for a moment, really just unsure if I was in the twilight zone. “In about five minutes.”

“Well hurry and wash up then, they are ready to get a bit wild tonight. Thor’s determined to make it up to Jane,” he sidestepped so I could stand in front of the sink. 

“A night of drinking won’t fix whatever is going on with them,” I took off the bandana, revealing the rainbow on my neck. “You shoulda seen how quickly she dumped Darcy off. I know I probably should’ve invited her to stay over too, but what was she gonna do? Help with chores and then just sit around? At least with Darcy around, Loki stayed outta trouble.”

I washed my hands and face, scrubbing away the sweat and grime of the day. 

“She also doesn’t like Loki, so it would have been awkward AF,” he pulled the towel and tossed it on the hook before walking into the bedroom. 

“Why doesn’t she like Loki? They’ve barely spoken to each other?” I leaned back to watch him rifle through the dresses to find a pair of underwear. As he bent over to put on the dark red pair, I bit my bottom lip.  _ Yep, I’m a ruined woman. _

“I don’t know, he probably said something mean or rude or perverted,” Bucky continued to get dressed, putting on loose jeans and a t-shirt. 

When the last bit of his stomach was hidden by gray fabric, I reeled in my dirty mind and changed my own shirt. Strong, warm arms covered my bare skin before I could pull the shirt down completely. A low, pleased hum vibrated in me as he pulled me flush up against him. Our fingers wove together, swaying to the music vibrating through the floorboards. His damp hair tickled as he bent round to kiss my cheek. Warmth blossomed in my chest, spreading all around me, and I leaned further into him, letting him envelop me. 

The music downstairs stopped, breaking the little spell we were under. Our fingers skimmed over skin as we separated and I pulled the hem of my shirt down. I tried not to frown at the loss of warmth. 

The gang seemed surprised to see us coming down the stairs, cleaned up and dressed, on time. There were two bowls of pasta on the table along with a punch bowl of homegrown salad greens. I didn’t know why Memaw owned a punch bowl, and I didn’t want to know why they were serving salad out of it now. I pulled out the rolling cupboard and took two glasses from it to pour iced tea for Buck and me. The grunts and under the breath sounds coming from the table, made me turn to look at them before I replaced the jug of tea. I’d have to make more tomorrow morning. 

Natasha gave me a smug, knowing look as she passed plates laden with spaghetti in our direction. 

“I can’t believe you,” Clint finally spoke, halfway through the meal, throwing his fork onto his plate. 

“What?” I asked, twirling my own into the long pasta. 

“Do I?” he paused trying to gather his thoughts, some kind of anger surfacing in him. “Do I look like a flamingo man to you?”

“Right now, yeah,” I grinned, his face getting redder.

“I am a hawk damn it.” 

Everyone nodded along, but there was a subtle caw caw sound made by someone, probably Dallas or Sam, and then we were all laughing. Our natural balance restored and an easy conversation started flowing. 

===============================

“Do you mind goin’ with ‘em to lock up the gate?” Bucky asked as the others were slipping on their boots. 

“Nope,” I leaned over the table and kissed his cheek, making him pause in his clean up. 

Maybe I swung my hips a bit more, maybe I dropped the keys for the gate and bent over to pick them up so Bucky had a full view of my butt, maybe I was making a complete fool of myself. The door latched behind me and I slipped my bare feet into my boots before I ran down to the gate. As the gang rode through, Natasha saluted me while she hung on tightly to Bruce. At least I wasn’t going to have to watch that show tonight. Clint really was an idiot. 

I didn’t sprint back up to the house. Being ruddy-faced and winded was not the sexy look I was going for tonight. I forced myself to walk through the muggy night air, looking up at the clear sky. However, the closer I got to the house, the more my heart started to race. My pace stayed the same, but I could feel the adrenaline start to build in me. The anticipation for what I had planned made me giddy. 

The porch light was still on, but every other light was off. I closed the door with caution, trying to think if Bucky had just gone to bed without me. I flicked the switch to the porch light and caught another flicker of light through the back doors. There was a fire just coming to life outside. 

A smile played on my lips when I opened the door, a smile that only grew when Bucky turned around and flashed that marshmallow grin at me. The fire crackled and popped as it started to burn, wafts of smoke floating into the night sky. Across the yard, lightning bugs danced to the sound of crickets and the rustling of corn stalks in the breeze. It was like I was living in one of those old western romance novels.

I walked over to the blanket Bucky had laid out, a plate of marshmallows, chocolate, graham crackers sat near the fire with two pokers. Before I could sit down though, he took my hands in his, guiding one of them to wrap around him, while he held the other. I giggled when he began to sway the sounds of nature or some song in his head that he wouldn't share. My head came to rest on the soft cotton covering his chest. He placed a gentle kiss on my hair, breathing in the scent of me.

I knew it then. I’ve probably known it for days, weeks even. I loved him.

But how could I possibly tell him? Especially after being told I’d already said the words to him. Over the goddamn phone. It was like calling your teacher mom. It wasn’t romantic or cute. There was no grand gesture. We weren’t even looking at each other. 

“What are you thinking about?” Bucky whispered into my ear, his lips ghosts across my skin.

“Just that I am an idiot,” I huffed, a small halted laugh shaking my shoulders. 

“Now, I don’t think that is fair,” he pulled away from me, encouraging me to twirl so my back was pressed to his front. 

We continued to sway, his hands ghosted over the skin of my arms. Even as my skin began to heat up, his light touch caused goosebumps to form. A light rain of kisses began to fall onto my jaw and neck. My fingers ran over the red marks on Bucky’s forearm, the marks I had given him another reminder of what happened. A heavy sigh escaped my lips. 

“Bucky,” I licked my dry lips, trying to find the right words. “I need you to fuck me like you own me.”

Okay, that was vulgar and crass, but we had stopped moving. He wasn’t saying anything. 

“You can call me doll all you want, but I’m not fine china. I won’t break.”

“I don’t want to hurt ya’ again, baby girl,” his voice was low and husky, but I could feel how much he wanted me. I leaned further into him, purposefully grinding my ass against his crotch. 

“Please, Bucky,” I squeezed his arm.

I felt the shift in the air around us, if that was possible. More like I felt the subtle shift in Bucky. One of his arms wrapped around me tighter, holding me close to him. His other hand moved away from him.

“What are you doin’?” I hummed, a smile growing on my lips. 

“Shh, be a good girl,” he squeezed me and I felt like I was already on cloud nine. 

Then he played what I can only call our song. The sultry voice and snaps played through his phone and we started to dance again. This time, however, there was lightness. I moved my hips against his. Our bodies melted together in the summer heat. Bucky’s hands roamed, sliding my shirt up and over my head. Everywhere he touched set my skin ablaze. 

He calmly twirled me around again, but there was nothing calm about the look in his eyes. The firelight cast a dark glow across his face, making his lust-filled eyes more intense and ominous. Both of his hands cupped my face, pulling me into him. His lips danced over mine.

“Are you gonna be a good girl for me?”

“Only you,” our lips bumped together, not really kissing.

There was no lightness when we actually kissed. It was hungry and fierce and everything I needed. His tongue forced its way into my mouth and that was all it took to set me on fire. My fingers wove into his hair, pulling him down closer to me. I craved his touch. 

Both of us moved with a new fervor, removing clothes from each other and throwing them into the night air. Every scratch of the blanket on my back set me further afloat. Bucky pulled my hands from his hair and pressed them above my head, our fingers still intertwined. He kissed and sucked marks under my jaw, along the column of my throat, and across my chest. I didn’t hold back the needy whines and whimpers as he claimed my body. 

“Bucky,” I panted, trying to encourage him by rubbing my hips against him.

“Now, doll, I do believe you requested something very specific,” he looked up at me, a wicked grin on his face that made me ache. 

His mouth descended, capturing one of my peaked nipples between his plush lips. I arched into his touch and squeezed his hand tighter. When he thoroughly ruined one, he moved to the other, teasing me with his teeth. 

“Please, Bucky,” I squirmed. 

“Mmm, I’m not sure wanna be called that tonight, baby,” he hummed against my skin, moving lower to kiss wherever he could reach without letting go of my hands. 

“Fuck, Oh Great One, Sir, please, I need you,” I begged. 

“Mmm, you’re getting closer,” he came back to lean over me.

“Sarg?” I fluttered my eyelashes at him, trying to catch my breath. 

“You’re cute, Doll,” He kissed my forehead. “Where are my pants?”

“Fuck pants,” I tried to kiss him, but Bucky pulled back. 

“Mmm, no, I may love you, but we ain’t takin' that risk tonight,” he kissed my forehead again before quickly rolling off. 

I laid there, unable to move. He… he just said… 

“Why the fuck did you throw my pants so far away?”

“I-I, what? You threw your pants mister striptease,” I turned my head to see him in all his naked glory, digging into his front pocket. 

“There we go,” he flashed a wrapper at me. Bucky sat down next to me, “hey.”

“Hi,” I smiled, watching the flames flicker and dance across his bare skin. 

“Do you wanna go inside or stay here?” He tenderly brushed some hair away from my face. 

“Can we stay out here?”

“Course,” his smile was soft, easy. “You gotta a kinda lost look on your face.”

“I love you.”

I stared into his cool eyes, the contrasting glow of the fire made them more vibrant, magical almost. Again, the air around us changed, something deeper settling between us. My hand reached out to touch his cheek and he leaned into it, closing his eyes. 

The hunger was still there when he opened them again, but his soft marshmallow grin told me he wasn’t gonna do as I asked, at least not yet. He took me apart slowly. Every sweep of his tongue across my skin, the firm glide of his hands over every part of my body pushed me closer and closer to the edge. No part of me remained un-worshipped by some part of him. The only time he broke eye contact, really, was to roll on the condom.

“Tell me again, baby,” he whispered, hovering over me.

“I love you, Bucky,” I blinked back tears.

We made love. Like the kind you only read about in sappy novels or see in movies. It was fierce and soft. Our bodies rocked together in a steady motion like we couldn’t get close enough. Breathing as one, suspended in this moment together. The quiet moans, breathy sighs, and firm grunts were all the words I needed. Whatever was happening around us in the world, it didn’t matter. Bucky and I would take it on together.

When I truly came apart under him, the only words to come from me were promises of love. I’d always love him, forever, even if he left. I would always love him. It could have been my blissed-out, floaty, cloud nine mind making me think it, but I knew Bucky would be the only one for me. I’d never love another the way I loved Bucky Barnes.

===============================

The fire crackled and a cloud of ash drifted into the starry sky when a log collapsed, causing my marshmallow to catch fire. I pulled it back and blew it out. Bucky held out a graham cracker with chocolate all prepared and ready for the molten sugar. 

“You got somethin’,” he leaned in and kissed the corner of my mouth, “there.”

I pulled him for a real kiss, savoring the sweet taste of chocolate on his tongue. A gentle, content smile on my face when I pulled away. A lightness sprung from my chest I had never felt before. Was that what it meant to be happy?

“I love you, baby girl,” Bucky whispered, brushing his thumb across my cheek. 

_ This is it. _


	21. Nightmare BBQ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter in prep for the long ass final chapter and epilogue for this fic.

Everything on Saturday started out great. The pile of bodies in the living room snored through my morning routine. The animals were just as sleepy as I was, slow to work through the motions. Tequila and Whiskey lazily trotted behind me the whole time, not even energetic enough to rush at the chickens. Back at the house, I filled their bowls and a treat on top of each. At the sound of kibble hitting plastic, Alpine crept into the kitchen to get her helping for the day.

As I was pouring coffee, Tony emerged from the back bedroom. He demanded a full debriefing of how the night went. The man was ecstatic for this new development in my life, telling me multiple times that I was good for Bucky. That we were good for each other. My cheeks heated up at the compliment. We sipped our coffee in silence for a while longer, waiting for Steve to wake up before breakfast would be made. 

Jane did show up with Darcy later that morning. She even helped move tables and chairs with her van while we moved the grill to the lake. A stereo system was set up near the tables, blasting a custom playlist Tony had wiped up just for the occasion. The guys borrowed the truck before the drinking started to pick up their bikes. I watched the cloud of dust follow them down the dirt road. 

Everything was going great.

The sun was shining brightly, not a cloud in the sky. I couldn’t have asked for a better day for our BBQ. Despite the hangovers, everyone seemed to be having a good time. Bucky took great interest in rubbing me down in sunblock. Massaging my exposed skin, dipping his hands underneath my suit straps, whispering how much he loved me and how much wanted to cum all over my tits. When it was my turn to rub him down, I whispered my own dirty promise into his ear, reminding him he’d yet to fuck me like owned me. 

“Oh, doll, I think you already know that I do.”

Bruce and Clint both choked on their drinks when they saw Natasha’s peach bikini. Natasha wiped her towel out before laying it down in the dry grass next to mine. It was like watching live art, the way she worked both of them over. She lowers her sunglasses down her nose slightly, just enough to make eye contact with Bruce. 

“Babe, can you come rub cream on me,” she cooed. 

I choked then. I was trying to watch Bucky carry the heavy cooler over to the grill. Some weak excuse about needing another drink was coughed out of me and I practically ran over to Clint, who was distracting himself by blowing up the flamingo float.

“End this bet,” I hissed. 

“I paid her this morning, kid. She’s just torturing him now,” Clint said between huffed breaths. 

I looked over my shoulder at them, Bruce’s face was beet red and Natasha looked impossibly smug.

“Him or us?” I asked. 

“It’s all of us,” Sam confirmed as we walked by us.

It was the perfect day. 

Until it wasn’t. 

Bucky and I were playing Darcy and Loki in a game of beer pong, made more difficult whenever Clint and his flamingo floated through our playing field. The cool water lapped at our heated skin. Bucky’s arm was lazily wrapped around my waist, keeping me and the old pool noodle close to him. Darcy released her ball and it landed squarely into my side of the cups, again. I chugged the beer, placing the empty cup back into the float. 

“I swear if y’all are trying to get me drunk,” I pointed at them. 

“Aw, c’mon Pinky-Pi-”

The sound of horses screeching over electric guitars made everyone stop. The music was paused and the thundering of hooves took its place. A cloud of dust raced in our direction. I pulled myself up onto the dock and jogged to the fence. Tequila and Whiskey were nowhere in sight. As the dust settled, I saw the black gelding at the far side of the pasture, laying on the ground. 

Everything became a blur then. I whistled for Margarita. I was barely mounted before I was goading her into a run. I whistled again, trying to signal the dogs. The closer we got the more concerned I was that it wasn’t a simple snake bite. A rattler I could handle, but then again so could this horse. He wasn’t making a sound, wasn’t moving. Flies buzzed around him 

I stumbled on to the ground, the dirt clinging to my wet skin. A short black rod protruded from his eye socket. Blood dripped down the side of his face, pooling underneath him. I curled my fingers and carefully felt under his jaw, trying to find a pulse, but there was nothing. I pushed further, praying I’d find something, but that didn’t happen. Margarita nudged the fallen horses, but he didn’t move. The bright neon pink fletching mocked me.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I lifted his head and pushed the arrow the rest of the way through. The sick, wet sound turned my stomach, but I pulled it out. A fixed metal broadhead, black carbon shaft with something etched into it - I threw the offensive weapon away. My forehead came to rest on my horse’s. The beating sun burned my back. I cried until I was dry. Voices floated through the air, harsh gasps and retching followed. I couldn’t focus on any of that. I didn’t feel the hands pulling me away. When dogs jumped and clawed at me, trying to get my attention, I didn't even flinch.

All I knew was that someone had attacked the ranch. My safe place wasn’t safe anymore. 

==============================

"Doll is the water too hot?"

"Baby lift your arms for me."

"Drink this water Babygirl."

"Boo do you want something to eat?"

"Sis, c'mon now, Granny wouldn't wanna see ya like this."

==============================

When I woke up on Sunday morning, it was almost nine in the morning. Bucky's side of the bed was filled with the dogs and Alpine. The bright sun shone through the bedroom window. The fan on the ceiling's wobbly rotation made the chains tink. The thin quilt scratched against my skin as I stretched. I couldn’t think of a time when I’d slept so late. 

My feet fumbled underneath me as I stood up. Granny's cardigan was draped over the vanity chair. Just like always. The knit material slid over my arm, feeling right in my skin. My fingers curled into a fist around the cuffs and I wrapped my arms around myself. The feeling of safety didn’t come back. The comfort that this act used to give me was gone. A defeated sigh came out of me. So that was it. 

I wandered down the steps, through the living room, and to the coffee machine. There was still half a pot left. And someone had my mug out already. How nice. I poured the steam liquid into the cup, watching it swirl and splash before I took my coffee out to the front porch. I sat down in my chair and looked out over my land, my stables, my barn, my home. 

"Gonna be another scorcher," I sighed, not looking to see who'd followed me outside. 

"Yeah, Doll, hottest day of the year so far."

I hummed, "I should go to the hardware store today." 

"Why's that?"

Slowly, my coffee passed my lip, swirled around my tongue, and imparting it's smooth flavor, before dribbling down my throat. The heat of the drink was nothing compared to the hatred burning my gut. I smacked my lips together, enjoying the familiar after taste. 

"I've got some pine boxes to build."

==============================

Bucky did not let me go to town. Steve and Thor had taken the black gelding to the Vet last night and this morning the guys did chores for me, sweeping away the evidence of yesterday’s nightmare. Clint was twirling the short arrow between his fingers when we came back inside. My stomach turned at the sight of it while a wave of righteous anger coated my mind.

“Hydra was sending you a message,” Steve leveled me with a dark gaze. 

The gang all looked at me. They all looked ready to kill. They were rallying behind me because this place was just as much their home now as it was mine. I pulled out my chair and stared down the table at Steve. 

“Then I guess we better send one back.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I really did that. It's gonna be savage.


	22. Imprisoned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I'm a liar, there will be another chapter and the epilogue yet.

The next few weeks were spent in preparation for the upcoming battle. Which seemed downright fucked up when I thought about it. 

A few months ago, my biggest concern was keeping the lights on, maybe that was tied with staying far away from Mr. Stewart, but now that just seemed small. There was a bigger fish to fry, and if the security footage Tony showed us was anything to go by, we’d be having ourselves a full on fish fry special. 

“And you’re sure that’s Stewart’s plate?” Bucky frowned down at the tablet on the kitchen counter. 

“For god’s sake, yes,” Tony growled at him. 

“Well I don’t know, you can barely remember Stevie’s birthday.”

“That was one time.”

“It’s the 4th of July!”

“Guys, that’s his fucking car, driving by the ranch, with a fucker with crossbow in the back. He’s dead.”

Everyone was on edge. Clint was now permanently perched in the hayloft, only coming down when Sam would swap shifts with him. There was also always someone on the porch, normally Thor, Loki, or Rhodey. Dallas was put in charge of making runs into town, getting groceries and supplies from the hardware store. Ropes, axes, machetes, and an arsenal of guns lined the dining room walls. I didn’t want to know where all the weapons had previously been stashed around the house. It was for the best I didn’t know. 

They were all quick to snap at one another. The stress and anxiety in the house were suffocating. It all came to head on the first Thursday in July. That morning I had to go to a teacher’s development day. I was dressed in a school dress, waiting for the coffee to brew and writing a short to-do list for the guys. Vegetables didn’t stop growing. The garden still needed tending, the horses still needed extra care and comfort, and honestly, I needed off the ranch.

It was like my world was closing in on me. Nothing felt safe, every sound made me jump. No amount of target practice with Clint or Tony installing new security measures around the gates and house calmed the sharp edge of my existence. I was sleeping less and less, Bucky even less than me somehow. I’d get up in the middle of the night, cold and thirsty, and find him still sitting at the kitchen counter where I left a few hours prior, sharpening his knives or cleaning a different gun. 

“What’re you all dressed up for, doll?”

Bucky looked rough. The rumbled t-shirt he wore looked like he grabbed it from the bottom of the laundry hamper. His hair was greasy, holding it at weird angles where he slept. Most concerning though, was the way he was favoring his right side. Whether it was the training the gang was now all doing, or the lack of sleep, or the shear stress, something was irritating his old injury. 

“School,” I poured Bucky a mug of coffee and then poured the rest into my large travel mug, something I had to dig out of the back of the cabinet. 

“No,” he snorted, blowing on the hot java before taking a small sip. 

“I am required to go, it’s printed on the calendar,” I pointed in the direction of my tiny desk. “Clint and Loki have already agreed to take me.”

That response gots me a hard glare, “Baby-”

“Mornin’ sluts, let’s go,” Clint shouted through the screen door. 

“Bucky, the school is like a prison, no one gets in, no one gets out. Bulletproof glass, the whole deal. Everything will be fine,” I tried to soothe him, walking over to him. “Now, you are gonna take it easy today and after dinner tonight, we are locking ourselves in the bedroom. No guns. No knives. Just you, me, and some icy hot for your shoulder.”

“I was with you until that last part Baby. Getting me all worked up for a steamy night and ya just let me down.”

I smiled softly, the light joking aside, we both needed some time for just us. Time spent where we aren’t breaking up fights or starting fights with each other. God, had that been a horrible two days. 

==============================

It had started out over nothing, it should have been nothing, but for all the progress I'd made with my anger and communication skills with Bucky, I could still be an emotionally constipated, anxiety-filled monster. Normally, being holes up at the ranch didn't bother me. I thrived with the routine and security it brought. Normally. But since the barbecue, since that day, it felt more like a prison and the gang were my jailers. 

So when the opportunity arose to leave, even just a trip to the grocery store, I was practically bouncing out of my skin. That was my job. I was practically the queen of the Wally World. Those aisles were as familiar to me as my classroom. It was a job I could do quickly and easily. 

"Here's the list Thor, do not deviate from it," Bucky handed over my list.

"I'll drive."

It wasn't an offer. It was a statement. You needed the truck to go grocery shopping. Therefore you needed me to go with you. 

"Uh, I don't think so," he plucked the keys out of my hand and tossed them at Thor. 

"Why?" 

"Because you're staying where we can see ya."

They always saw me. They were always around. I never had time to myself anymore. Even my morning chores weren't time for just me anymore. An Avenger was always there. And Bucky. Well, he was escorting me everywhere. Like I was a prisoner. 

"So what? Now havin' a bodyguard ain't enough? Carrying a knife ain't enough? I can't even leave my own fuckin' house now? What's next? Huh? Ya gonna chain me to the fuckin' bed?" 

I was shouting, which wasn’t good. Bucky didn’t like loud noises on an easy day, let alone when we’ve all been on edge and stressed out for days. His scowl was deep, jaw clenching, and forehead vein popping out. 

"Yeah, maybe I fuckin' will! If it keeps you from fuckin' leroyin' around like some kinda fuckin' idiot. Jesus Christ, you keep talkin' about settin' shit on fire and burying people, but I don't fuckin' think ya got in ya Doll! I don't think ya could protect yourself from the wind blowing the wrong way."

"I'm not gonna be… held hostage by you," I seethed pointing at Bucky. "Or you," I pointed at Thor but held Bucky's raging staring. "Or any of you goddamn bikers. This is my house, this is my fuckin' ranch."

I kicked Clint out of the hayloft and didn't leave until the next day. 

_How fucking date he? This was my life. I'm a grown ass woman._

When Tony came to see me with dinner, I told him to shove up Bucky's ass. The fury in my veins was pouring out of me as I heaved bales of hay around and cleaned my bow and groomed all the horses and swept the floors until you could see what color the cement was painted when I was five. I did morning chores and then went back to moving bales of hay from one side of the loft to the next. 

Bucky came to see me around lunchtime, while I beat out the old horse coats. Dust billowed around me and was wiped around by the wind. I had tied my shirt around my face, breathing even more ragged from the ache in my sweat-drenched body. 

"Baby-"

"Get the fuck outta my stables, Barnes."

I didn't even look at him. I just kept going at those old coats like my life depended on it. And maybe for a moment, it did because I knew if I stopped, I was going to cry and fall into Bucky's arms and be exactly what he said I was. 

My boots clattered onto the porch and the whole house went silent, even the dogs didn’t move a muscle. I stomped through the living, giving everyone the cold shoulder. That was probably rude of me, but I was still angry and hurt. 

“Luna,” Rhodey leaned against the kitchen counter, watching me fill the glass with water for the third time. “We are all stressed out, Barnes didn’t mean it.”

“Barnes is pretty damn dumb,” Sam added.

“Would you feel better if you could punch him?” Loki asked. 

“Beating up Bucky makes me feel better,” Natasha agreed. 

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, and trying to center myself. I wasn’t going to cry, damn it. I was gonna be strong. 

“You fuckin’ stink,” Dallas shouted from the couch, still absorbed in the NASCAR race on TV. “Take a goddamn shower, ya animal.”

I did smack Dallas on my way to the shower and that made me feel a bit better. Of course, it was all a plot against me. Bucky cornered me in the shower and wouldn’t let me ignore him. 

He wrapped his arms around me, pressed me into the wall. I refused to acknowledge how good it felt, how much I needed his embrace, his scent, his security. I was gonna be strong. 

“Babygirl,” he sighed. “Ya know I love you and that I think you are one of the strongest people I know. I’m sorry, I just wanna keep ya safe, and that ain’t an excuse, I just… look I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well,” I sniffled. “I’m sorry for shouting and being mean.”

“C’mon,” he kissed my shoulder. “Let’sclean up and go for a drive. Maybe I’ll buy ya a blizzard if you’re good.”

==============================

It was weird being back. School hadn’t been out that long, but I felt like my life had moved a million miles away from this place already. Clint and Loki rearranged themselves in the truck before pulling out a grocery bag of snacks and drinks. I honestly felt like I was locking my dogs in a hot vehicle. Before I entered the building, I looked back one last time to make sure they were still there and they both waved, mouths stuffed full already. 

The day chugged along - meeting, break out groups, union catch-ups, and classroom prep was exhausting. It was made easier knowing Mr. Stewart was “away on his religious retreat” this week. Actually got me excited for the new school year and what I’d be doing for eight hours a day in only a few weeks. I’d missed that energy, that feeling of hope from educating kids. 

Throughout the day, I got the occasional text from Loki to update me on parking lot things, and I texted Bucky any chance I got so he wouldn’t go crazy back at the ranch. He was sending me updates about what everyone else was doing. He and Rhodey both had set up lawn chairs in the backyard to oversee the work in the garden.

However, the moment the day was over, I was bursting to get outside and back to the ranch, to the familiar. My boots clacked against the pavement as I texted Bucky that I’d be home soon. I guess that’s why I wasn’t paying attention. I climbed up into the truck, had the key shoved in the ignition, was about to tell Loki off for smoking in there when I saw tattooed knuckles wrapped around the stick shift. 

“They know I should be gettin’ home soon.”

“We’re counting on it girly.”


	23. Going Home

The motel was somehow even more disgusting on the inside. The air was thick with cigarette smoke, but an even stronger was the stench of body odor and weed clung to walls and furnishing. Like the biker gang that had taken hold of this place hadn’t showered since they arrived. Anytime the door was opened it was sweet relief. A moment of fresh air filled my lungs, settling my stomach some.

Something on the creaky bed seemed to be permanently wet, and I couldn’t scoot away from it. I’d lost feeling in my fingers a while ago. It was dark now. I tried not to think about what that meant, about why no one had found me or even tried to call my phone.  _ It’s because you aren’t as important as Clint and Loki. _ No, the Avengers were family. They wouldn’t do that to me.

I regretted wearing this dumb dress most of all. Even though I wasn’t struggling, I wasn’t cooperating. So when they tied my hands together and tried to rope me to the bed, I didn’t make it easy for them, which only resulted in me being dragged around and my skirt hiking up my thighs. The nylon ropes burned, cutting into the delicate skin on my wrists. They hadn’t tied my feet, and I was too scared to think about why. 

The AC was broken, the windows were shut, curtains closed. It was sweltering. Sweat poured from my body, the material of my dress clung to me, losing its soft quality and beginning to irritate my skin. My boots were tossed to the other side of the room into the small kitchenette. I tried to take in my surroundings, the seven skinheads shoved into this room, the cheap furnishings, the dead TV, the scattering of beer cans. 

The pop of a bag of chips being opened made me flinch.

“What’s the code?” 

Again my phone was flashed in my face, the number pad pulled up and overlaying the picture of Bucky cuddling Alpine greyed out. I stared at the device, the little SOS bar at the bottom just out of my reach. My eyes remained focused on Bucky, on his smile, trying to keep relatively sane while being tied to a bed in a room with neo-nazis. I refused to speak to them.

Again, a slap landed on my face. It stung, just like the others, made my pounding head hurt more, and brought tears to my eyes. I wasn’t going to cry. I wasn’t going to show them any weakness. They could hit me as much as they wanted. I wouldn’t betray Bucky. I wouldn’t betray my family. They could try all they wanted. I wasn’t going to say anything. I wasn’t going to break. I was gonna be strong.

“Look you stupid bitch, we’ve tried being nice. We don’t gotta be nice. Your little boyfriend is doing us a favor and we promised to keep ya pretty for him. But,” silver and baby blue flashed in front of my eyes, “we don’t hafta do shit.”

My knife, that stupid pocket knife, Bucky made me carry everywhere was used against me. I refused to look at them, but now I couldn’t take my eyes off my captors. Their gaunt faces, only emphasized by their bleached, shaved-headed, were a twisted mix of rage, excitement, and just boredom. The leader, or the very least the talker of the group, was the one with the knife. He was covered in scary tattoos, one particular at his throat of a skull with tentacles wrapped down and around all the way to his wrists. 

The first cut was made just above my thigh, the second on my other thigh, another set was sliced into my arms, the final one was down my chest. It started at the valley of my breasts, moving down agonizingly slow, gliding through my dress and the cheap bra I had on. I couldn’t tell where it stopped. Everyone in the room watched. I stared at the water stain behind them, the tans and browns on the popcorn ceiling the most interesting thing I’d seen in months. The way the water had dried in squiggly lines around the bubbles, how the rings of stains reminded me of the rings in a tree trunk. I wondered how many years there had been a leak. 

“I was hopin’ you’d be a screaming darlin’. Let’s keep tryin’.”

Glass shattered against the drawn curtains and a thud followed. One of the bikers wheezed on the ground, his blood pooled on his back where a black arrow was stuck. There was a rush of movement and voices. I was yanked off the headboard, the wood splintering into my hair and ropes tightening, before being tossed into the kitchenette. So many guns were being shot off. More smoke and dust filled the room as cheap plaster shattered. I curled up into myself, my chest and lungs burning. 

“Get down!”

“Cover me!”

“I’ll fuckin’ gut her!”

How any of that was heard over the gunfire, I’ll never know. All I knew was that I was nearly tossed out the broken window. A hand on the back of my dress was the only thing that kept me from toppling over the broken glass. Sure the crumbling sidewalk was only a foot below me, but with the flames inside my hands grew stronger. Adrenaline or fear or whatever spiking in my veins had me terrified of being dropped. My eyes couldn’t focus on anything except the drops falling. Red and red and more red mixed with the dark ground. 

Before I could think anymore about the color red, I was pulled back inside. Tentacles wrapped around my torso and gripped my throat. 

Panic. All I felt was panic. My body convulsed and my feet kicked out and back, trying to connect with anything. My chest was collapsing in on itself and my-

“Ain’t such a dead fish now are ya? Look at those fucks in the parkin’ lot, darlin’,” my face was forced to look at them, but all I saw were shadows. “Now you’re gonna tell them to toss the guns. Don't shake your head at me bitch. Do it or you're dead."

Tentacles flexed around me before loosening. I was silent. Nothing came out of my mouth. My lips parted, cracked even as I stretched them in an effort to force out something, but it was like he'd crushed my voice. The man's tentacles stabbed at my chest and then I did scream. 

I couldn't stop screaming. Everything hurt and I was exhausted and frustrated. My brain just latched on to anything it thought made sense. And the one thing I couldn't get past, couldn't think past, was that Bucky and I should have been at home on the ranch, locked away in our bedroom. I should be massaging his shoulder, rubbing fucking icy hot into his tattooed skin. 

"Fuck!"

My body fell into a pile of glass, the material burst around my skin. Still, I kept screaming. My skin was on fire and all I could see was red and smoke. There was more gunfire and smoke and red and screaming. I crawled across the floor, all knees and elbows, trying to get away. My eyes locked onto my boots. If I got to my boots I could put them on. I could walk to the ranch. I could walk home. 

The ringing in my ears wouldn't stop. There was red everywhere. I felt like I was going to be sick. Suddenly I was being lifted from the ground.

"Baby, baby, look at me, baby, it's me."

Hands were touching me, pulling me off the floor. A shadow. It was just a shadow, all black and fuzzy-edged, and out of focus. Not really there. Something my clouded mind has just made up. The gang wasn't coming for me. But then its blackness fell away and revealed a marshmallow.  _ My marshmallow, my Bucky _ .

"Babygirl, hey, you're alright. I'm gonna take these off baby, just-"

There were sirens in the distance. The clouds cleared, rushed thoughts pour into my mind. In that moment of clarity, I ripped my hands from Bucky's grip.

"Go. Leave," I pushed him.

"Doll-"

"Take the gang and go. You can't be here. You were never here."

I pushed him again, shoving against his chest until he fell back, knocked off balance by the sudden wave of strength in me. He had a wild look in his eyes, his gaze darting from me to the door, calculating our escape, planning what he could do to get _us_ out of here. But my only plan was to get the gang as from here as possible. They needed to find safety, not take the fall for this. 

"Don't come back u-."

"We need to get the fuck out," Steve barged in. "Let's go."

"Go."

Bucky pulled me to my feet and smashed his lips to mine. It was hard and fast, no romance, just… finality. That he loved me, saved me, that he'd see me again soon. He shoved Steve out the door, shouting for them to go. 

In the strange silence that followed, I listened for the engines. The sound of the motorcycling roaring and fading into the distance mixed with police sirens. My phone weighed heavily in my hand. I recalled Tony’s lesson, pressed all the right buttons, watched Bucky’s face disappear from my screen. The device fell softly onto the stained bed.

The room was so bathed in red, the green stood out like a sore thumb. The shiny packaging on the scratched veneer was a beacon. My hands reached out and the chips fell onto the table. I knew what I had to do.

==============================

The county sheriff sat at my supper table, his deputy next to him. My eyes fixed on mugs in their hands, those were Tony and Bruce's mugs. Anything to take my mind off the pain, real or emotional. 

I was still all bandaged up, released from the hospital but not exactly healthy. I wasn’t able to do chores anymore. Couldn’t risk tearing open the stitches. The Laramie boys came around in the morning and evening to take care of the horses and chicken. They’d probably just miss the officers today.

I answered the same questions again for the fifth time in two weeks.  _ No, I didn't associate with any gang. I didn't know what they wanted. I don't know who shot up the motel. The farmhands were only here while I had the money. No money, no farmhands. I don't know what happened to Martin Stewart. Yes, he had been harassing me. No, I didn’t know he was stalking me. Yes, I heard his body was found in a ditch outside of town. I don't know how the fire started. _

Playing the victim was easy. Lying about the past few months was easy. Pretending I knew nothing was easy. 

Being strong was hard.

==============================

The school year started again. The faculty avoided me more than ever. Due to guilt at not seeing the bad in Mr. Stewart or because everything about me was shrouded in rumors and police tape now, it didn’t matter. From 8-3, the only humans who spoke to me were eight year olds. They were the only humans I talked to at all. I walked home every day, clutching nothing in my hand. My pockets were always empty now. I hopped the fence, Tequila and Whiskey waiting for me. I did chores, I cooked dinner for one, I watched an episode of the Andy Griffith Show, drank a leftover craft beer, and graded papers until I couldn't see right. 

Falling back into my old habits. It was easy. 

It was too big for me. The bed, the room, the house, all of it drowning me in space. I slept on the couch now to avoid the empty side of the bed. If I slept at all. The dogs and Alpine would cuddle up next to where I laid, falling into dreamland while I avoided the nightmares.

==============================

In the middle of October, my belongings were returned to me in a plastic bag. My burnt backpack, my ruined boots, my truck, my dead phone, my pocket knife; all of them felt wrong now. They didn't feel like mine anymore, just an extra weight that I carried through the house in my arms. I put the dead phone and my knife in my new backpack. It was covered in stars and moons, it had a side pocket big enough for the travel cup. I’d been using Bucket Heads' mug since mine had melted in the fire. In the mornings after filling it, I would find myself clutching it for warmth, pressing it into my scarred chest and wishing it was him.

One night, out of some old habit, something I hadn't thought about in months now, I plugged the phone in. My exhausted mind thinking it was a sensible thing to do before collapsing onto the couch, finally run down enough to close my eyes.

There was nothing awaiting me in the morning. 

==============================

The day after Thanksgiving, the phone buzzed. A grating sound in the quiet on the porch. 

**_Private Number-_ ** _ Knock Knock _

**_Me-_ ** _ who are you? _

**_Private Number-_ ** _ Arthur _

**_Me-_ ** _ Arthur who? _

**_Private Number-_ ** _ Arthur any leftovers? _

But then engines roared, the dogs barked, and I ran.

Black leather jumped over the fence. Long brown hair wiped in the cool November wind. A marshmallow grin illuminated his face. My arms clung to him, the A on the back of his jacket, the embroidery different from the leather, softer just like my marshmallow, just like my Bucky. 

“The ranch will always be home,” I found myself murmuring, tears making the leather wet.

“You’re my home baby girl.”

And his lips on mine, hot and wet and filled with longing, pressed against my chapped lips while strong arms held me up and against his chest. That was home to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams into the void*

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Just a bit of a disclaimer- I'm not from Texas, and I've never owned a ranch, but I grew up around farming and know a bit about horses. 
> 
> Let me know what you think or if you have critiques!


End file.
